OH has fractured femur - not a good situation

Well Lucky I don't know how you could have done any better than give every waking moment to OHs needs . I just told myself that Sainthood was not my scene and had the odd spat with Jim , I am told he winked at DD1 when this happened as if to reassure us that he understood it was just me letting off steam . The operation will fix his Femur but I hope his dementia is not affected

Lucky there are some people who go through life under the impression that they get everything right, all of the time. I think that they are a rare breed as most of us question ourselves and re-hash things we could've/should've done better, as you are doing now. I suspect that not only were you a 'good enough' carer, but something much better than that; reading your posts I have the impression that you have had your patience tried on many occasions (every day?) and yet your care and compassion comes through very clearly. Try to stop judging yourself more harshly than you would judge others and give yourself a pat on the back for all the times you did demonstrate love and care and compassion.

Very best wishes from me and I do hope that the outcome of the OP makes your OH more comfortable in the longer term.
I'm sure you've been the best carer under the most difficult circumstances, so don't give in to feelings of doubt about your efforts.
Go easy on yourself, sleep as much as possible and eat well, if only ready meals which can be quite nutritious.
A soak before bedtime (at home) can relax you enough to face whatever the morning brings.
Take care...???

That's good Lucky he is getting the treatment he needs. Take care of yourself as well as your husband. Good wishes to both of you.

? Luckygirl

(((hugs))), Luckygirl

Sending every good wish mentally Luckygirl

So terribly hard for you, Luckygirl. Sending much sympathy and wishes for the best possible outcome for your poor dh. As they say on a carers' forum I still visit (dementia) give that Guilt Monster on your shoulder a good whack. You have been doing your best in often such very difficult circumstances.

Just rung hospital - he is in theatre right now - went down first thing. So at least they are getting on with it. I hope to try and organise a rota of girls to be with him post-op.

Lucky, your situation is way outside my range of experience but I would say, please do allow your DDs to give the support they offer. I know you say that you want to get used to being on your own, but you are very vulnerable and they must be vulnerable also.

I did not sleep much - a bit weepy really. My every waking moment has been devoted to his needs for so long that it is hard to adapt. And I keep going over in my mind every moment when I was having a bad day and was not the quite the good carer that I might have wished. It is very quiet here, and I am still programmed to his needs and keep thinking "Oh it is time for his ......"

I am sure that some of you Gransnetters will identify with that. How do you cope?

Lucky, just catching up with you and the difficulties you are facing. Sorry to hear that Mr Lucky had to have his op postponed. Did you manage to get any sleep? Joining with all the other GN's who are sending {{{hugs}}} and

Lucky I have come late to this. I am so sorry to hear what you both are going through . Thank goodness he has you to fight his corner for him at the hospital. I hope you are managing to get some rest and that he gets through the surgery.

Look after yourself. Sending you hugs. x

I sincerely hope things are better for you both today. It's good that you are there to advocate for him at the hospital.

Enjoy some unbroken sleep and some peace and quite, you deserve it .

Morning Lucky, I hope you had a good night. Please keep us posted.

Lucky, you are both in my thoughts.

Please, get all the rest your mind will let you get. You need your strength in mind and body.

Sleep well if you possibly can lucky, you’ve done all you can for your husband today, now time to rest .

Luckygirl ?

Oh Lucky I have only just seen this. I am so sorry you have this to contend with. I hope you get a good nights sleep and your DH has the op tomorrow

Many thanks for all kind words. I am just about to spend my first night in the house on my own for decades. It feels pretty strange. The girls wanted one of them to stay with me but I felt that I will have to get used to i and might as well start now.

I fear for his ability to survive this - he is very frail indeed and I have seen the result of a fractured femur on frail elderly people; but if he does pull round he will be in hospital for a long time and will need to go for rehab; so - I am determined to just get on with it here.

luckygirl to you and your husband. I'm thinking of you both

Hope the operation goes well Luckygirl. It probably makes your girls feel better thinking they're looking after you. Hope you manage to get some sleep.

Oh dear that's not good Lucky you must both be struggling in this situation. I hope tomorrow brings better news for you. Take care of yourself too as Kitty said.

What a worry for you Lucky. PleSe have some time for yourself.