I only have my very disabled mother to try and manage through the minefield that masquerades as the current care system, so I feel extremely sorry for you, annsixty and Luckygirl, and everyone who has a partner to care for. The emotional toll is immense without the hassle and hoops you have to jump through, and reams of form filling to obtain a small pittance in return, if you're lucky. I think it's disgraceful that you are expected to pay this bill for your Hs end of life care annsixty. I was a HV before my retirement and thought I knew the system, ha ha, I don't recognise it now and have felt totally disempowered.