Dealing with constant health problems

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

I agree with pinkquartz. Those illnesses are not your own choice. People around you should be more sympathetic, especially your DH and also children. Glad to hear that you share this story here. You have all my sympathy.

I have just been on healthunlocked and what a mistake. Everyone there with similar problems to me was terminal. It was no help at all and made me very depressed.

dragonfly I found I had to be very selective and protect myself against depressing items, whether in the media or wherever, to stop being pulled down. And sometimes people can be very odd. The week I came out of hospital after having a mastectomy, a woman I barely knew who was a friend of a neighbour and I had only met once, took the trouble to drive 5 or 6 miles to knock on my door specifically to tell me that her cousin had just died of breast cancer. How cruel was that? And how utterly pointless. I couldn't understand what she got out of doing that.

So be kind to yourself, don't read or watch anything you think might upset you .... there is always someone worse off and while going through a bad time yourself, it won't help to know about them. I know it's hard to stay positive but try to spend time with people who make you feel loved, and try to do things that give you pleasure because, as you said yourself in an earlier post, distraction is a good thing. for you.

I sympathise! I juggle psoriasis, psoriatic Arthritis, depression , and now possibly a stomach ulcer from arthritis drugs. Husband wonders why “ you’re always so poorly?” I said possibly because I have work, look after small DGS and am career for 93 mother with dementia, while you are retired, only spend time bowling and playing cards and wouldn’t recognise stress if it belted you round the chops! Think he saw my point!

I have just been on healthunlocked and what a mistake. Everyone there with similar problems to me was terminal. It was no help at all and made me very depressed.

Hi Brigidsdaughter Yes MN can be a bit brutal. Will check out that Health Unlocked.

Lindajoy Do you know I suspected a connection between RA and rash. I've had it on and off for a couple of years but this particular time it started around November when I had a big flare of RA. RA is now fine, joints all fine but the rash persists. GP doesn't know and has referred me to Dermatology. I will definitely ask Rheumatologist next time I see him.
^ my overactive immune system protects me from other things!^ Does it? What do you think?

I have suffered with RA since I was 24. Also now have polymyalgia rheumatica. One thing to understand about RA is that is does not only attack your joints but can cause all sorts of other problems. I am sure, RedRidingHood ,that your itchy rash is RA-related as I have experienced the same problem on and off over the years. It is difficult to feel positive all the time but I tell myself that my overactive immune system protects me from other things!

Oops. Saw Olive already mentioned Health Unlocked

Hi Red. Not a Gran either but DS 23 and living at home. I find age group here kinder and more tolerant than Mumsnet (Well, mostly..!)
I'm on Health Unlocked. Check it out. Many forums and so much info from other sufferers

I guess I'm fairly lucky compared to some. to all those that have daily struggles.

Redridinghood so pleased you could be distracted. I find that is the best policy. I am hoping I will be able to do this for a long time to come.

Lots of lovely supportive messages thank you.
I don't post on GN much - I'm not a gran but I do have adult DC of 21 and 23. Young enough for me to feel I don't want them to know what's going on at the moment.

To be fair to DH he hasn't said anything but I try to avoid moaning.
If people ask me how I am I say fine as nobody really wants to hear how you really are.
^^ This.
It's true as well, we've all met that person who talks endlessly about their ailments.

I will look out for some support groups and once I get a diagnosis on the lung problem I shall manage to process it as I have the other things.

Perhaps we need an ongoing "Moan here about your health" thread.

Had a lovely day today as DS visited, we went out and I was distracted from worrying for much of the day.

So nice to know I am not alone, I was just this minute thinking of how fed up I am with always being ill. I have just had to phone in sick, yet again. I only went back to work last week after a fortnight off with a chest infection & fractured wrist. I was admitted to hospital last Friday with an acute asthma attack, it’s just like 1 thing after another. I also have a heart problem, had shingles a few years ago, broke my ankle & last year was diagnosed with diverticulitis. I’m sure i’m going to get the sack soon.

To all those who are struggling with health issues, these flowers are for you -
And here was I, just speaking to my friend and complaining about my knee pain. I should be ashamed of myself.

Lookup healthunlocked ,lots of help I could not have servived my illness without the forum .

I also have a number of serious disabling health issues. I don't want to be a moaner or be boring about my health so I have joined a FB closed group and channel most of my worries through there. I also find it helpful to me to be supportive in return to others through that group.

I think though that anyone close to you like a DH really could be more sympathetic or supportive.
After all you don't have these problems by choice!

Being ill all the time is really tough you certainly have my sympathy

I have a long term health issue that really limits my life and my poor DH has had to take early retirement to help me. What I found really useful was to see a counsellor once a week (I ended up doing it for nearly a year, and still pop back occasionally). I used the time to unload, or vent my frustrations, or be enabled to see things a bit differently, or even to come up with alternative strategies for how I was doing things. It meant that I didn't have to unload onto my husband, or friends but I had that space once a week that was entirely for me. Yes, it costs money (although most counsellors have a "sliding scale" of fees for those on a lower income) but in terms of my close relationships, it was more than worth it. Would definitely recommend it.

I have lots of health problems and I think my hubby gets fed up with it sometimes but he has health problems too. He has M.E and was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis last year. At the time it was scary but he has since been told it’s stable. I. Hope you get your lung problem sorted out too

I have recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. I am on medication which hopefully will shrink it although not much sign of that at the moment. If people ask me how I am I say fine as nobody really wants to hear how you really are. I can’t express my worries to my DH and DC because they are worried too.
I tried joining closed FB groups but some people on there are in a bad way and none are on the same medication as I am.
It makes you feel very isolated.

I don't often tell people how I truly am when they ask. They don't really want to know all the details so I don't even tell the children (AC). I've been ill for nearly 30 years with M.E. and now have a number of other illnesses as well. Many friends have never known me well and even my son can hardly remember the "old me".

There's an elderly lady at my Art Group who always has something wrong and will go on and on about it. I could easily trump her ailments but frankly I go to Art to forget about them, and if I am honest I don't really want to hear an awful lot about hers. I know that sounds unsympathetic and I am not generally but she makes me feel that way. I wouldn't want to do the same to my own friends and family

CazB I have sent you a PM.

I don’t know if healthunlocked.com would be any use, it offers information and support.

I took ill on Saturday night with shivering, stomach pains and the runs. On Sunday DH asked if I fancied a trip to the seaside. He was put out when i said I wasn't up to going. I needed something from the shop and he made me go in while he sat in the car. Then on Sunday evening he caught my bug. He was shivering, vomiting and generally making a huge deal of being ill! I said there was no need to make such a fuss about it. He was shivering but it was a bit put on. I had to fetch him a blanket and drinks etc., Today he's taken to his bed while I've been doing the washing etc., Sorry for venting. Your message just made me feel a bit fed up.

I also have been unwell with this and that over the past year, and my DH dreads asking me how I am every morning. I also feel bad about telling friends how I am, in case they think I'm always moaning. I've also been diagnosed with a rare pancreas condition, Sparklefizz, and would be interested to hear what website you've found helpful. My best wishes to you, I know how you feel.

Oh Red I do feel for you but as Sparkelfizz and others have said FB or other on-line groups are really worth joining.

I have Pernicious Anaemia and had lots of symptoms that I din't know were associated with PA until I joined a couple of groups. I've had so much help, support and been given great information that has made such a difference.

You'll get support and understanding here on GN because many of us manage health issues but getting in touch with people who are dealing with very similar issues is such a relief and may give you ideas of how to better manage your daily life.

Wishing you the best of luck and hope you are having a good day today.