Black dog gang

BlueSky.......Oldandverygrey.....

I think I'm like this at the moment because both sons are going on holiday next week....one to Wales, but the other to Vietnam with friends. He hasn't booked a hotel, insists he'll be able to get somewhere when he arrives (after 13.5 hr flight). That all bothers me.

My job might be coming to an end in September...I work for a small charity-based place, and the funding runs out by September, and unless the Finance Officer can somehow get some more money coming in, I'll be looking for another job - I'm 60, so have got 6 more years before I get a state pension (never earned enough/worked enough hours to pay into a private pension).

I'm off to Aerobics soon, so I should feel better after that

Thank you Joce345 (yes please keep posting esp as) I'm not new to Gnet but am new to 'black dog gang' - just found you all. Struggling with another bout of depression at the moment so it's really comforting to read your posts ... helps me to feel less alone x

Thanks again Annie yes that's it you feel safe in your own home, in fact it's the only place you feel safe! But it never bothered me before! Salsa I too worry about my adult children's health, safety and happiness. Is it normal for mothers to do this? When they are little it's only natural but you don't stop just because they are grown up, what change are the things you used to fear. I find that a walk somewhere quiet helps my mood.

Sparkley it was batty who first started ‘The Black Dog Gang’, this is the second thread .

Love the photograph, I miss visiting churches and cathedrals. Thank you for posting it,

You holiday alone ? Fantastic x

Lovely photo sparkly, do you mind me asking where about you stayed.?

The new computer systems can be a challenge for a lot of people Anniebach. Diolch yn fawr for being kind and setting up this thread .

Someone mentioned holidays, UK ones. I find it can help my depression if I spend sometime out of my home. Even holidaying alone is good because it’s different things, views, to look at.
I went to Yorkshire in March for a week, it exhausted me but cheered me up too. The impact was bad on my physical health, I slept for 5 days when I got home.

Lovely photos to look at as a result though.

Hella Salsa,I also am on Mirtazapine 30g,have a happy settled family life, AC no problem, and the mornings are also difficult for me, you are not alone. By the time I have showered and dressed I feel more "with it", I think the tablets are responsible, but then if I didn't take them would I feel more depressed?

I've been on antidepressants for many years and last October my tablets were changed and I've been on Mirtazapine, 30mg, since.

I've got a very nice life - a great husband, our own home (no mortgage), 2 adult sons, who live 1/2 a mile away (separately), gorgeous grandchildren, I work part-time, we've got no health worries.....so then WHY am I like this? I hate the mornings, find it so hard to want to get up and get going.

Lately, I feel so very anxious about everything....especially when I'm alone, I feel frightened of things (being in a shop, in a streetful of people, in a pub, etc). I worry that something terrible might happen to one of my sons (they're in their 30s, have good jobs, happy lives, etc) and every time I see them (one weekly, the other every 3 weeks), I think "What if this was the last tine I ever saw them alive".......

Does anyone else have this ridiculous and irrational feeling of fear?

BlueSky I am working on similar with therapist now, Home is our ‘safe place’, . This isn’t about me but just to explain what I have learned about ‘our safe place’.

You had a narrow escape in Paris and Nice, perhaps your thoughts were ‘ let’s go home’. I experienced a disaster many years ago, until I was having the therapy the one thing I had forgotten of that day was me saying ‘ i have lost my home’ ,
I hadn’t, the family home was not affected but it was no longer the safest place in my world.

We teach ourselves that our home is ‘the safest place ‘, it becomes so to us. I got in a bother over those damn windows because ‘they’ wanted to come into my safe place.

Hope this makes sense, I do waffle !, can it be you have taught yourself ‘I am safe here’ and the thought of leaving your ‘ safe place’ causes anxiety ?

Thanks Anniebach yes I understand that the holidays abroad are becoming too stressful. We had near misses with the terrorist attacks in Paris and Nice, we were planning to go there again and Barcelona we had just been. So this is fairly rational. The holiday in the U.K. would be more feasable because if we are taken ill at least we are in the UK. But I missed home even during a short break! Definitely anxiety perhaps connected with age!

BlueSky , could it be rolling news and social media constantly bring doom and gloom into our homes ? or it could be part of aging?

I have such a longing to be at the Welsh coast again, with agoraphobia I can’t, so it’s a mental health problem which stops me .

It does seem the news coverage of France is making you anxious about going there , what are your thoughts of a holiday in this country ? You wouldn’t have the enjoyment of visiting other countries but could holiday,

Could be holidays abroad could be too much now but if you are troubled by holidaying in this country then anxiety ?

Well done Annie! I have given up counting the number of times DH has come off the phone to HMRC saying 'I am NOT a stupid man! I used to fly 757's! But every time I speak to THEM I feel like an old duffer!

Morning all. I used to love travelling and holidays, now keep booking and cancelling as I think of all the things that could go wrong while away, perticularly abroad. I love France but lately with the shocking happenings there and recently with the Yellow Vests I convinced myself I would be caught in some dangerous situation. At other times I tell myself that in any case because of my age, it wouldn't really matter. Also of being taken ill while abroad and leaving my poor DH to cope with it, or the other way around. Years ago somebody older told me she felt that way and I could hardly believe it. What's happened to me?!

My sorting out of HMRC ? I blew a fuse.

The young chap I spoke to, during the conversation he said
‘ you use ledgers?’ So I replied ‘ yes have used them since 1973 probably before you were born, and returns were sent by post, now it’s a mess with damn computers , takes two days to send returns because you keep changing things, took ten minutes to get to the post box’

Morning all good day to all, just trying to carm down been awake and on edge since 4 but getting there slowly.. if only that was all it took to make us better Eileen bless him, I would never be at home.. home is my safe place that’s for sure...

eilyann if only a holiday could cure us , we could all stay in the same hotel and get ‘cured’ together.

Fun and games in East Cheshire?

Haven't been on for a while as I've been away. DH thinks a holiday will 'cure' me. Bless him but no=one can understand who hasn't been there. Medication has been increased so I live in hope. I am sorry so many of you are feeling particularly bad. Annie you are my inspiration to carry on you have not gone back = with all you've had on your plate I would have gone to bed, plugged in my radio headphones and closed my eyes! But you are coping! Sorting out HMRC?! RESPECT! .
Got to vote today. East Cheshire council with half a dozen suspended councillors and police investigations going on.... Would any of them be any better?
Wish you all as good a day as possible.

Good morning all x

Grandmain. I so know what that morning waking shock is like now, that’s was happened to me last Sunday , never experienced it before . It does unnerve you doesn’t it ?

Have you been under a lot of stress recently ? I have been stressed for a few months , we sleep and so are relaxed mentally, on waking our hormones kick in , as if we are on red alert, does this make sense ?

Hope you are feeling better now Grandmain and have a good day.

Morning Joce, Annie and all the other ladies. How is everyone today? I had a bloody awful anxiety attack yesterday which hit me immediately upon waking.
Was frightened as to what today would bring bit so far ok , just tired and very achy muscles from being so tense yesterday.
Best wishes to all

Thank you Annie. No I have not heard of it she will explain it to me better tomorrow. Our granddaughter she is in the best hands. They tell us that the professor is the best in the country can’t ask for better can we, they say it’s nothing to worry about that’s reassuring my daughter bless her is a lot more at ease today now.. hope you sleep well Annie good night sending you hugs x

joce good news for you about your friend. Kidney in two parts, not heard of this, I wish her well bless her x

Yes as we speak Annie just had a call from her daughter she is home at last she just wants to go to bed but to be expected, her results sound good has to go back in 6 weeks for more tests. My granddaughter has has some back as well one of her kidneys is in 2 parts not sure I understand that but my daughter will explain better tomorrow, they say that it’s nothing to worry about, it could be what Is coursing her water infections but not sure yet.. we now have to wait for her other results from the professor in 2weeks will keep you up to date on that fingers crossed .. thank you for asking Annie

Joce hadn’t thought of that but my garden is made up in squares, - flagstones. Grass. Golden gravel and plum slate chippings. So cold, can’t afford to take them all up. Thank you for thinking of me and my garden x

Any news of you dear friends results.

Not wise BlueSky just understand x