mental health as we get older

Trying to do this from phone but it doesn't seem to have posted.

Thanks MOnica for clarifying. I thought you might be an expert who knew something good. Never mind I'll just keep going until told I've list the plot!

Oops, I meant Polman not Nonnie - another of 'those' moments ...

Thanks for clarifying it Monica. I was commenting for Nonnie really, as she seemed worried about her own health. Meanwhile, I'm trying to convince myself that dementia isn't hereditary, given that both my parents had it ... and very severely from the outset. I know it's not. I've been told that several times, but it still worries me in 'senior' moments.

I was certainly not suggesting that if you do not get dementia by 75 , you will not get it at all. I was saying just because someone in a household has dementia at 75 (or any other age), it does not mean that another person of the same age in the same household is immediately going to get dementia as well.

They might, but it is unlikely, they might not get it until, 80, 85, 90 etc - or even get it at all.

I was just about to take down the one Easter Card that was sent to me, thinking that I've had it up for some time - yes, it was only last Sunday. Is time running slow or going fast ! You decide ?

I don't think it's age related and certainly not a thing to worry about. Remember being a child and how the few days before Christmas d-r-a-g-g-e-d and the summer holidays were gone in a flash?

Nonnie and/or Monica - I'd be very, very surprised if not having dementia by 75 means we won't get it. Both my parents were diagnosed in their late 80s, having shown absolutely no signs at all until then. Similarly I have a friend aged 95, who has just been diagnosed, only because she was in hospital for something else, had a scan and the first signs (of dementia) were seen. She too shows very few symptoms, certainly nothing which would ring alarm bells.

polnan joking apart, if this is a one off don't worry about it but if it is part of a worrying bigger picture then perhaps keep a note of days and situations to see just how bad it is. I hope everyone is right and it is nothing to worry about.

Monica not sure if you are saying that if we haven't got dementia by 75 we probably won't get it. Please would you clarify as it is not something I know much about? Thanks

Reading all the posts has made me feel 'normal' thanks everyone

Polnan - I very often go upstairs, stand on the top step and think "what have I come up here for". Likewise I go to the fridge and forget what it was I wanted! you are not alone.

thankyou all of you, I feel so much ... more relaxed

I console myself with the thought that, even as a child, I had a reputation for being absent-minded. Today I went to M&S to collect an item that I had 'clicked'. As it hadn't arrived, I went to the café for tea and 'lunch' (a slice of carrot cake). I then bought a moisturiser and a necklace that I fell for. I was on the way back to the car park when it occurred to me that there was something missing - the item I had come to collect!

I forgot! to add a retired brain surgeon!!!!

Just remember to put down dates on the calendar as meetings or appointments come in. I now have one of those plain " large numbered " calendars in my kitchen with all birthdays written through the year and it's fab because you can't miss it seeing as you spend a lot of time in the kitchen.
As for names to faces, I quickly go through the alphabet in my mind and always hope that I've got the right name. I tell myself that because I recognise a face, I'm part-way there.
I do think that because times have changed from the slow pace it once was to more of a rat-race that it's easier to overlook something rather than forget it altogether. Us of a certain age were programmed to a slower pace of life then over the years certain aspects of life have thrown us into a maelstrom of hurrying here there and everywhere and thus so we've also noticed that the time no longer stands still either.
I have a pic of my GGrannie sitting looking so relaxed----I couldn't position myself like that to save my life. Mind on the go 24/7 !

With regard to memory as long as you realize you forget things that is totally normal. The time for concern if if you are completely unaware that you are forgetting things, this was told to my husband by a brain surgeon who admitted to having a dreadful memory!

I find it odd that all weeks have 7 days but some seem very long weeks and others seem to fly by . No, your saner than most people about in the world today and people who question themselves still have all their marbles, it's the one's who go full steam ahead with no thinking involved that are 'marbleless'

My DH is a few years older than me....not that its really an age thing. True Dementia is about health not numbers!
Every now and again he does worry me - he forgets he's mentioned something that seemed quite important at the time and we have 'words' about it. Thankfully its never been anything earth shattering but it does wind me up a bit.
Thankfully however, on the really important stuff he's still very with it, dependable and intelligent. We both have to admit that we have to keep written records now...a full blown desk diary is a god send...and lists of every thing that needs doing.
We have recently moved and as we meet new people in the village he adds their names and house names to a sort of spread sheet we keep on the kitchen table oh....AND their dog's name!!

It's like when we get to around 2 January, Xmas seems long gone!

I was flabbergasted when scrolling down TV listings to see that the Kevin Costner film 'Dances With Wolves' came out in 1990 - 29 years ago!

polnan, stay with us, you are clearly going through a worrying time and any memory problems must worry you. But because one 75 year old (for example) is showing signs of dementia doesn't mean every 75 year old will, or even the 75 year old in their household.

We each have our own particular pattern of aging and if you are fine now - and I am sure you must realise by now that you do not have a memory problem, you have a good chance of staying that way.

Many GN members are in your situation or further down the road and one longstanding member experienced the death of her husband this week. Her posts during this process over 5 or more years gave us understanding and information and helped all of us and we hope we can help and sustain her in her loss.

So keep with us, our hearts are in the right place even if, like most people, we get a bit ratty now and again.

you know, I only popped in here a few days ago, mainly because my dh has problems,and I am concerned if he is starting with dementia.. he is a year older than me.

and the tone of the comments that I read, were really upbeat, despite some really bad events going on in your lives..
and now here you are, proving that we can be upbeat and positive.. thankyou all so much.

If you're losing it polman then so am I

My son said yesterday, 'Did you know Nelson Mandela was made President of SA, twenty five years ago?'

What?! Twenty five years? surely not!

But By Jingoes it was.

X posts MOnica
Great minds think alike!
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And the complete change in the weather won’t have helped polnan! Hot and sunny only a few days ago like mid summer, wind and rain now! Almost a different season no wonder it’s confused you!
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I spent last weekend, Thursday to Saturday sitting on an outdoor pitch at the Peterborough Festival of Antiques. The sun shone, the wind didn't blow and I got a lovely tan. It seems several months ago. Especially when I think what the weather was. This evening it is cold, wet and windy and I have just had to dig out my winter clothes that I had carefully packed away.

DD who is part of the family antiques 'business' and is still under 50 just rang to say exactly the same thing.

Meant to add, that sometimes the reverse is true as well, and time can drag...all depends on what you are doing.
I forget all sorts of things.
The test is not forgetting the name of something ( kettle) but of forgetting what a kettle is for!

I agree, don’t worry about it.
Years ago, my MIL said that time speeds up when you are old......it certainly does.

I must admit, now I have retired I do have trouble knowing for certain what day of the week it is! Of course my phone or laptop reminds me, but I often say things to OH like "Is it Wednesday today?"

If we don't write every engagement, visit or appointment on the calendar we'd forget about them. The days seem to fly by. Christmas really doesn't seem so long ago and it's May next week!

I wouldn't worry Polnan.