Gransnet forums

Health

Health family history

(7 Posts)
Jane43 Wed 01-May-19 12:39:56

We have two granddaughters now aged 31 and 29 who sadly want nothing to do with us (paternal grandparents) and their birth father. We always hoped there might be a reconciliation but it has been 11 years now and we have learned to live with their decision.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer last September and my husband’s sister has also just been diagnosed. My question is do we need to pass on this information for the girls’ health history and how vital is it? There is also Type 2 Diabetes in the family: my DH, his mother and his sister. They are not old enough for breast screening yet but I know this question is asked at the first mammogram.

Despite efforts we have been unable to find addresses for them and their mother has just begun working in our area. Since we have this point of contact, not sure for how long, should we pass the information on to her or leave well alone?

We don’t have any kind of relationship with their mother, she was adopted as a child and has told us that blood ties are not important but by her is the only way we can get the information to them at the moment. We do have an address for their mother but her marriage broke up recently so we can’t be sure she is still at that address.

mumofmadboys Wed 01-May-19 12:49:22

I would write a letter to your GD's mum and state the facts. Wish her well and the task is done. You then don't need to dwell on it and you have done the right thing. I am sorry you are estranged from your GDs.

BlueSky Wed 01-May-19 15:29:23

When I was asked this question I said that my mum had breast cancer aged 62. I was told on that case my risk is just like any other woman. If she had been 40 or younger I would have been screened regularly in case there was a genetic risk.

notanan2 Wed 01-May-19 15:57:30

Neither I think would be particularly relevant. As another poster said, if it had been early breast cancer or a genetic diabetes maybe, but no I dont think common middle aged onwards ailments are particularly important to relatives from a medical point of view.

notanan2 Wed 01-May-19 16:04:58

Besides which, parents and siblings are the main people of interest when it comes to family history. Extended family not so much unless its an unusual pattern.

Statistically, most people will have someone in their extended family with things like t2 diabetes and breat cancer. That doesnt = a familial disposition.

Nonnie Wed 01-May-19 16:19:40

Am I right in thinking that only certain types are genetic? Perhaps you could find out which ones and then react accordingly?

Jane43 Wed 01-May-19 17:34:28

Thank you all for the advice. It seems the best course of action to leave things as they are since a parent or sibling is not involved. It has taken us many years to get over the estrangement so although I want to do the right thing for our grandchildren it is a relief to know that the family history is not significant to them.