Mum's health

Hi Worriedgran24 - it's very hard waiting for tests and results. I am nearly 2 years post-diagnosis for inflammatory B.C. I had 'the works' too, and I've had suspicious lumps, bumps and pains since treatment. They turned out to be the result of the surgery and radiotherapy. It is possible that this is the case with your mum. Try not to think about it too much; worrying will not change anything. If you have a Maggie's Centre near you, there will be someone you can talk to there at any time.

My elder daughter had breast cancer 13 years ago and we were terrified, and when her sister had a scare, she said it was so much more difficult being the relative that being the patient.

Just wanted to send kind thoughts to you and your mum. It's pointless to say not to worry because of you are like me , you will worry, so I will just say lean on all your friends. They will want to be there for you.

Thank you I will check out the Macmillan site. Thank you for all the support and advice

Hello, what a worry for you. Yes, I think it often is as tough (in different ways) for the nearest and dearest bystanders. Have you thought of contacting your local support group (doesn’t have to be in the same area as your mum) or look at Macmillan website - they have a chat room that you may find supportive.
All the best to you both

It occurred to me when I had breast cancer that loved ones get such a raw deal. Everyone focuses on the sufferer. Of course, it's a frightening and awful time for the person who has the disease. However, it is passive, in that you have to 'roll with it' with your diagnosis and treatment. Loved ones often get forgotten and feel so helpless. My DH sat in the carpark at the hospital and sobbed and sobbed when he dropped me off for my 'big op' (over 6 hours).

So it's really important to support those people who support.

All I can say Worriedgran24 is we are thinking of you and understand your worry (I have also been in your position with my mother and 2 sisters). Do try (I know it's difficult) to remember that so many people are successfully treated these days. Treatments are much better.

I do hope it doesn't mean your DM having to undergo yet more treatment but as she has been monitored, as a previous sufferer, they will be thorough. I so hope it's the best possible outcome for her. I am thinking of you and understand how difficult it is.

flowers

Thank you all ladies - as you say it is just a waiting game now and hopefully all is fine and it will just be something daft!

Sending all good wishes to you and your mum

I'm a breast cancer survivor, but only diagnosed 2017 and completed extensive treatment December 2018.
Myself and others in a similar situation have had concerns and gone back to be checked out, and all was fine.
It's natural you are worried as it's a dreadful thing to go through not just for the patient, but for their families.
The treatment now is excellent. Hope your fears are put to rest. Please let us know.

Yes, of course, you are bound to be worried. As others have said, the waiting is probably worse than anything. If you are able to accompany your Mum to her appointment, that would be good for both of you, as you can ask any questions and listen to feedback from the doctor. All the best.

Your mum will know that you are worried, as is she, but provided you are there to support her you can do no more. Don’t cover up your feelings too much - it might look as if you don’t care.

Of course you are both worried. I wasn't sure from your post whether the appointment has been arranged to look at these new symptoms, or a follow up from the previous.

The waiting is always the hardest isn't it? If it does turn out to be suspicious then it will be reassuring to be seen by a consultant who you already know and who has treated your mother in the past. It will be a long ten days until the appointment and really no way of lessening the fears except to remember that she (well, both of you really) came through it all once before.

My sister had a mastectomy in 1982 when she was 48. She s now 84 and has had a few scares over the years but she is worried about growing old now. Best wishes and please try not to get too worried before you kñow what's wrong. Caught in the early stages breast cancer can be treated now very successfully.

CrazyH saying to WorriedGran your mum will be fine is not realistic. Even skilled professionals cannot know that and certainly wouldn’t say. I have recently had a cancer, and that was the worst thing that could have been said to me “ You will be fine “. Whenever it was said to me it made me feel that I was feeling anxious about nothing. I felt that it took away from me being worried about the outcome of my very serious situation. Cancer is still a really serious condition, having it is very scary and isolating. Please don’t belittle it, even done kindly it is a silly thing to say. Sorry but I do feel strongly about trivialising such a serious thing.

So sorry for you, worriedgran. Please hold fast to good thoughts and hopes. My dear MiL had breast cancer when in her late 50s (a mastectomy) in 1983, then she lived to the ripe old age of 92, with no further issues. (She had no return of cancer.)

You can't help but worry even though we know it doesn't actually change anything. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you both.

My mum in law had breast cancer and a mastectomy 25 years ago. While she had many scares, to date it hasn't returned in the breast or anywhere else. Just make sure any new symptom is checked.

Thinking of you both. Stay strong

It is the waiting that is so hard........stay strong.

Worriedgran - Ofcourse you are worried. If it's any consolation, I know many friends who have survived breast cancer and are doing well 20 - 25 years later. A couple of them have had double mastectomy.
Your mum will be fine.....be positive. It could be something or nothing... for your mum xx

I’m sorry you have this to contend with, worriedgran. I’m afraid it’s easy to say “don’t worry”, but of course we all do. Not knowing is the worst.
Will you be able to take your Mum to her appointment?