Do I go behind DH back

I always go with my DH these days. It has become a habit so he accepts it.

I am not sure the doctor will discuss your DH with you anyway without him being there.

It is far better to go and speak to the GP face to face about your concerns. There's no guarantee that the GP will break confidences between himself/herself regarding your H's visit though but perhaps on your H's next visit the GP will surreptitiously add what you've told him/her.

I'm not sure that the GP would speak of anything over the phone concerning someone else even if it is your husband.

Meanwhile go and try to see the GP before H's next visit.

Simple. Go with him, doesn't matter if it's raining or not! He may not be happy, but his GP needs to be aware of anything that may be affecting his condition , so he can give your DH the correct treatment.
Like all of us do, DH may be in denial, but surely the best thing is to be honest, be given the correct treatment and hopefully feel better as a result? Stick to your guns and don't let DH put you off - it is for both your benefits after all!

GP can certainly listen to what you want to say, but can't enter into any discussion with you.
A visit, in person, would be best but a phone conversation could be better than nothing.

GP will keep what you have said confidential and will understand if you explain why that's very important to you.

You have no right to insist on going with DH to the appointment, if he doesn't agree, so I'd recommend talking to the GP beforehand.

FarNorth is right, your GP cannot discuss your husband's illness with you, he can listen to what you have to say and then decide what he will do with the information. Face to face is better than the phone if possible.

Hi Graygirl is it possible that your DH has already confided in his doctor, but does not want to discuss with you.
It maybe that he doesn't want worry you or he may want to decline any procedures.

When I needed to discuss my father with our doctor I always started with hypothetically......
The doctor understood and acted accordingly.

You could make an appointment with your doctor explain to the Doctor that you are under stress, he will invariably ask why and then go onto explain re your husbands illness and how it is affecting you.
Or have hypothetical discussion.

Good luck

I have a lung problem and my husband always comes to the consultant with me. Two brains are better than one for remembering things. My husband rarely says anything but listens quietly.

I would write a letter to the GP, the GP can chose whether or not to ignore it but at least you will have tried to raise awareness, and it will be on record. If you try a face to face meeting, the GP will be in a difficult position regarding patient confidentiality.

When this issue arose for me, I wrote a letter to the GP explaining and asking that he not reveal that I had sent the letter, so that he could ask my husband relevant questions.

I agree with NanaMacGeek. I would ensure the envelope is marked confidential and is clearly for the GP only.
I’m sure the GP will appreciate getting the full picture and can ask your husband appropriate questions regarding his symptoms.

Sorry Humptydumpty, just seen your post as I posted!

Great minds, Marilla!

Sorry Humptydumpty, just seen your post as I posted!

I'm in a similar situation at the moment where I wish I could tell the doctor something that I think my husband may be in denial about. It's so annoying (and sad) that the "family doctor" has all but disappeared and we have to tiptoe around sharing concerns about our family members and we have to operate according to an "unwritten code".

When I was a child, our family doctor (I can still remember his name, Dr Morton) knew all about everyone in our family. Much better than all this smoke and mirror action.

Although the GP cannot discuss your dh with you without his permission, there's nothing to stop you sending a note in advance, with the info.
You could add that s/he must not reveal that you've done it!

This strategy is often recommended for people with dementia, who may well be able to put on a very good front for a short while, for any professional.

Doctors cannot discuss a patient with anybody else even if it is your partner unless the other party has given permission beforehand.

I sent a letter about my concerns with my mum and the doctor took it seriously I d do that as others have suggested

I would go along to the GP and put him/her in the picture with regards to your husband. They are not allowed to tell you any information about another patient, even if it is your husband but you can tell them all you know.

I spoke to the gp by phone about my mum. She was brilliant and asked all the right questions without mentioning me, although I was there with mum for her routine asthma check.

I went to see OH's GP (also mine at the time) when I thought he had PD - he said he would bear it in mind when he next saw him. But I guessed from the look on his face that he agreed. )H also happened to be his medical partner.

This morning I rang my husband's Health Centre and requested an appointment for my dh. DH has been putting off making an appointment for two months.
The system is that Dr rings back to discuss and if necessary makes a same day appointment.

When on the phone with them I gave a brief comment as to what the appointment would be about. For call back I asked that Dr rang my dh directly and gave dh's phone number.

I then went and told dh that Dr would be ringing him shortly about an appointment. DH just said OK (thought he might be a bit put out at me doing it but I didn't care). Dr phoned him, then saw him this afternoon and is referring him to the hospital.

Job done.