Alternate reality - is this common?

JackyB my sympathies; it is hard when you are a distance away but you will be able to spend time with her and assess the situation when you visit and I hope that you will be able to sort out the care that she needs.

Forgive me for asking, but does a UTI cause hallucination?
Yes, indeed.
That was the first thing I suggested when an elderly relative was getting confused recently. It turned out that the GP had given her the wrong medication for another ailment.

And MOnica, I was talking to my hairdresser this week - her mother is in a similar condition, and she was muddling things up like that, too. She was confusing things she'd heard on the TV with real life and was convinced she had to pay some bills!

Just to update here - my mother has now been in hospital since 27 June and is slowly recovering. I am flying over tomorrow to stay for a week and give my sister a rest.

Maybe she'll be discharged whilst I'm there, but we would like her to go to a home where she has someone on hand all day and night.

Apparently she is bruised all over from her original fall, from previous ones and even from one that happened in hospital. She bruises very easily.

I don't really know what to expect; she will recognise me but won't be able to talk much.

As much as I love being on my own, it will be a very melancholy time in her house with her not there. Visiting times in the ward she is now on are apparently only 1 hour in the afternoon and 1 hour in the evening. And it's a 40 minute drive to the hospital in Bury St Edmunds.

JackyB, My sympathies at this time, but how fortunate to have your mother so long and in good physical and mental health.

People in the early/mid stages of dementia can live in alternative realities, caused by dreams or misunderstanding what is going on around them. Providing it does not cause distress, just accept them. I looked after an aunt, who lived in an alternative world. While I didn't encourage it, I always agreed with anything she said. At various times my aunt was convinced her care home was owned by the army, later that became the Great Western Railway, all based on misinterpreting things she saw around her. There were others. I just agreed and she was always more relaxed and happy when she felt we were both agreed on whatever story she was telling me - and after all that is what we want, for those who are dear to us to be happy and relaxed as they move quietly to their end.

Maw and Blue.....thanks. I've learnt something today.

Thanks for all your comments.

It is possible that she was dehydrated, as she spent so much time asleep. However, as I explained in my OP, everyone who visited would make a cup of tea and drink it with her, and she was even drinking water readily - sometimes preferring a glass of water to a cup of tea.

There is no point in asking her about any memories. She wrote her "Memoir" a while back. But now, it's all gone, or rather she hasn't got the strength to recall things. For example, I asked her if she smoked whilst she was pregnant with me and my sister, and she couldn't remember. (She probably did - she smoked from age 17 to about 70)


Since my first post, she has got worse, and has been in hospital for the last ten days on antibiotics IV. Only the day before yesterday did she start talking normally again.

She is considerably weaker, and they have also found a chest infection (which she sort of already had - not contracted whilst in hospital) and a heart arrhythmia, which she has also had in the past.

My sister says she can't manage more than a couple of words without getting out of breath.

The hospital staff are being wonderful and she is being assessed for a care package, but DS is looking for a suitable home to put her in when she is discharged, as we can't leave her alone any more.

I miss my nightly phone calls to her, and find myself reaching for the phone at around 6 pm most days.

I wish I could do more from so far away, but I am flying over next week and shall be there for 9 days. No knowing yet if she'll be at home whilst I'm there. Most likely not, so I will be spending the time at her house, bagging stuff up, as it is unlikely that she will be returning there.

It hasn't really sunk in yet.

My fil is 91 and has been in a care home for just over a year as he could no longer be left safely in his home.
He rarely leaves his room, spending most of his day sleeping in his chair, however every time we visit (normally 3 times a week) he tells us he has been somewhere or the other! Some of the places no longer exist and we think that his tales are of the dreams he has and that he is regressing into his past.
He has been diagnosed with dementia, so this is probably a progression of the illness. However, sometimes he gets more confused and becomes aggressive, which certainly make his condition much harder to manage. This is usually linked to a uti or other infection, which unfortunately can be quite common.

My FIL was a life-long cricket fanatic and during his last months improbable tales of famous cricketers visiting him in hospital were common during our visits. One time he was convinced he had won the lottery and was very annoyed with nurses that he hadn't been allowed to throw a party on the ward.
I think this behaviour is very common.

Any infection can cause confusion.

chest infections can also cause problems with behaviour.

I helped a distressed lady I met in a corridor at a hotel. I assumed she had dementia, as did the hotel manager, but when the ambulance came, they said her problems were caused by a chest infection. I cannot remember exactly why, but I think it was insufficient oxygen in her blood plus deehtdration.

My niece (who is a nurse) says that the most common problem with elderly patients is dehydration. Is your mother drinking enough water?

if it continues, it will be a serious worry

At her advanced age I wouldn't be worried. If she sleeps for 20 hours each day, it's no wonder that her dreams and reality are getting mixed up.

My Dad lived to 89, very lucid and sharp, but he often told us about ships he'd been working on, in great detail. He'd been an engineer in the Navy and so it was understandable that his dreams and memories merged with reality. We just used to listen and agree that his work was very complicated and demanding - then we'd offer him a cup of tea and he'd be "back with us again".

Just enjoy your time with Mum .

There is an acronym that is worth remembering in this type of situation-

P- is she in pain
I - has she an infection
N - is her nutrition good
C - could she be constipated
H - is she well hydrated?

All these things could lead to confusion.

BradfordLass.
I totally agree with your last comment. When my mother was dying 20 years ago, my daughter recorded her memories on an old tape recorder.
In the weeks after mums death, I couldn't bring myself to listen to it. Eventually it got put away with my daughters things when she left home.
During recent house renovations I discovered it in a drawer. I spent a magical hour laughing and crying as I heard her voice again...also learned some new facts about my dad!
Sorry for wandering off post. ?

She is slipping gently away and slowly withdrawing from life. I do not think you should be seriously worried about the misperceptions of reality. She is not distressed by this (as far as I can tell from your post) and she is physically safe. Her life has entered a different phase - it is not something to be too worried about.

I would encourage those who have elderly parents to consider getting something of their memories on tape (or recorded in some way). Once they go, so do the old memories and feelings.

Start by asking what they remember of their own grandparents, then you get the previous generational events too.

Sometimes, university or college students or even librarians are very interested in doing this work, which often gives the older person a real boost - and an interest too.

Should anyone seriously wish to try (or ask someone else to do so) I can give some hints, including a list of possible questions to jog memories. PM me.

It's also a useful device for your own memories, especially if you have ambitions to write about your life at some later date.

crazyh as mawbroon says very definitely. UTI s in the elderly can cause symptoms very like dementia
If this little lady is sleeping for 20 hours is she drinking enough ?
She’s wearing out isn’t she ? and my feeling is that she will just go to sleep one day and not wake up and blimey what a wonderful way to go how lovely that she ‘meets’ friends to talk with in her sleeps
She’s done fantastically fancy living in her own home at 100
As is your mum rosecarmel no meds or illnesses at that age is a brilliant achievement
Good luck to both of them

CrazyH UTI’s + hallucinations?
Very much so!
And incredibly common and frequent in the elderly especially those who tend to restrict their fluid s intake because of incontinence.
I would include the sort of confusion and alternative reality OP describes.

My mum's birthday is this week, she will be 100- She lived at home until 9 months ago, then entered into assisted living- She doesn't take any medication or have any medical conditions but she does have a hearing aid and began using a walker a few months ago-

Like the mum in the OP she swears things happened that hadn't and has been losing her memory little by little-She is aware that she is losing her memory and it frustrates her- She also slept quite a bit until given a boost of vitamins D and B-

There but for the grace of God ..

Is this the beginning of dementia, I wonder? But if she sleeps for 20 hours out of 24 she is bound to confuse her dreams with reality.

I don't think you have anything to worry about. You just have to accept that's she's old now, and her brain isn't going to be as agile as it once was.

Enjoy still having having your mum!

my mother was only in her mid eighties when she died but in the few weeks before she was often confused .She was in hospital so we didn't have to worry about her being left alone,though we were worried.On one of my visits to her she was watching me from the window and I waved into her,she got quite agitated and when I asked her why she told me the "boat would have left without me if I hadn't hurried" she was convinced she was on a boat .The nursing staff seemed to think it was quite normal that she had these moments of confusion but some of them were really scary.Maybe you should check with her GP to make sure theres nothing going on with her health that can be sorted.

Forgive me for asking, but does a UTI cause hallucination?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.