Can I just share a secret with you all please?

EllaKeat I've been there similar circumstances retirement anxiety etc etc. Then after an unrelated health scare I just stopped suddenly and now I will just have a small glass of something if I feel like it. A word of warning the doctor said I shouldn't have gone cold turkey as it could have caused problems, just cut back but luckily I was fine. And yes you need a hobby classes of sort voluntary work at least for a few hours a day or a few days a week to keep your sanity.

Well done, you have done well to do this by yourself but just a word of warning to others who drink too much, particularly spirits. It is advisable to seek medical advice first because it can be incredibly dangerous to just stop. My brother was on a bottle of vodka a day and just stopping caused him to have fits which we were told could have killed him.
I hope you find the strength to continue your alcohol free life but I'd agree with lovebooks to look at places you can get support if you feel like you are slipping. Good luck.

I went into AA on 08/03/2000, not strong alone . Be proud of yourself ,give your self a hug every day .
If you need extra try AA on line no names .

Ella, you have taken a big step, admitting that you have sneaky drinks, and then deciding to stop, That is HUGE! Well done, as for the feeling lonely, I understand, I can't get out, without my husband or daughter, I use a wheelchair, and didn't think that at 55 I would be disabled due to sever arthritis. So I decided to learn to crochet(using YouTube) have started to draw again, so maybe a hobby might be good, or seeing if the local schools need help listening to children read(i did that for a long ) or helping in a charity shop. You're not alone, we are here to give you any support and friendship we can.. Big hugs Ella xx

Yes, Ella - well done! You will surely feel chirpier without alcohol as it's a depressant anyway!

If your husband doesn't like you out without him, once you've chosen your U3A course/activity maybe you could show him what else is on at the same time - I know it's a long shot, but who knows?

Good luck!

Congratulations! Great news and I'm full of admiration for your strong-mindedness.

Hang on in there and try some of the promising suggestions here.

Good luck!

EllaKeat - I lost my husband five years ago, and seriously hit the bottle - still do, but slightly less so. Working in a creative profession, as I do, helped a lot, but now that source of comfort/distraction is drying up, too. We always drank, especially wine with meals, but I'm currently hitting gin and vermouth on ice during the day, too.
There's lots of info online about addiction. Basically, the stuff you're doing hits the reward centre in your brain very quickly. If you're on Facebook, you might take a look at 'Club Soda' - upbeat and helpful, unlike AA which I did try once and never again! Depression and booze are best mates, too - you never get the one without the other. Lots of self-help books, too - one called: Kick the Drink Easily. Good luck, and thanks for sharing - you are not alone.

Thanks for sharing. Small achievable targets set every day. It may be a stroll for 20 minutes. Sweeping garden paths. Engage in a conversation with someone while out and about.I think maybe others have noticed your drinking but never challenged you. So now you are are out with your secret to us share your pride with them. Maybe your hubby is struggling with his lack of confidence too. Don't make an issue out of his grizzles. He can deal with his issues himself in his own way. Just learn to enjoy your new found freedom and use your new healthier lifestyle to move forward.

Very well done - I do hope you are giving yourself a massive pat on the back, both for having a week clear but also feeling able to share your experience. In response to DH ‘what am I going to do’ when you go off how about ‘the world is your oyster - you have so much choice’!

Ellakeat well done and go for it, life is out there waiting you and you now have the time to make full use of it.

As for the husband, well he must stop you, he has chosen his way of life and it doesn't mean you have to join it jut because you are married.

That’s brilliant!

Well done. To give up two addictions - cigarettes and alcohol - takes a lot of strength and willpower and even more so when you have no one to talk to or support you.
You can only now go on gaining strength to deal with other issues in your life. Huge congratulations and good luck for the future whatever it holds for you x

I think it’s very brave of you to come out and say this, I applaude you, you have done very well keep up the good work, I have a chocolate addiction had put on quite a bit of weight then decided one day it was pathetic so I stopped just like that, but for only 3 months lost 16 pounds as well as watching what I ate, along cane Easter I thought oh just one Easter egg but noooo it wasn’t I’m back on chocolate lol so back I go to trying to stop lol

Well done Ellakeat. Try to keep on being busy with something you enjoy. For me it was cooking, knitting, I did card making for a while and I also enjoy baking. My daughter and children enjoy the Baking and I am always up for baking for fairs and school Bake sales. Most of my knitting is done for Charity now
I did also volunteer and worked with RVS for a few years. Best wishes for the future

Try meetup. There should be a group local to you.

Good for you. You must make a stand and enjoy your retirement no matter if it causes resentment from your husband. Life is precious and you deserve to enjoy it.
I've seen loved ones turn to drink, but it made them all the more lonely.
Please be proactive in joining groups and enjoying a social life. Good luck x

See if U3A operates in your area. They have lots of outings and classes that you can do together or apart.

I work in a National Trust property and we have some lovely volunteers working with us. Plus after a certain amount of volunteering completed they receive a membership for themselves and a partner so you’d be able to enjoy days out with your OH too!

Very well done Ellakeat, we are all proud of you

Well done you

Well done, grannylyn65 and EllaKeat - you must feel so much better just for getting alcohol out of your daily life.

Well done. I used to drunk too much wine when I was working. The pressure was too much and I used to pour my first glass as soon as I got through the door. I was unhappy. I am now retired and only have the occasional glass of wine, away from the pressure and life is moving in a different direction. I feel as though I am taking back control of my life. Good luck.

Well done Ella You are clearly a strong woman to turn your life around this way,
Best wishes for a more fulfilled retirement, you have taken the first steps. I can recommend it, so good to be able to do things you enjoy when you want to. Keep us posted on how things go for you.

Well done, Ella Keat. That is brilliant. Volunteering: do your local libraries need people? Or Meals on Wheels? Both are gently sociable activities that might suit your husband as well. Is there a walking group you could join? Fresh air and exercise are good for low mood. But you also need your own thing, as does your husband, for all the reasons other posters have given. You can be proud of yourself!

Congratulations and well done EllaKeat.
Keep up the good work and we look forward to hearing about your next step.