Black Dog Gang 4

Thanks for the prayers. It was very difficult but there is some light possible at the end of a very long tunnel. It is going to be a very rough and expensive road but we think it is worth it. Expert advice is that we are doing the right thing and are justified in doing it. Once again, sorry I cannot say more. Now I am totally exhausted and need a few days to get myself up and running.

Have a good weekend all.

Hello friends. annie how annoying re handrail. Hope everyone else is doing well xxxx
I have taken my bungalow off the market. Nothing is happening so it's pointless. I will re address in ybe new year. Xxx

nonnie I am praying that you got through today and hope it wasn’t as bad as you thought. I pray you sleep tonight and get some peace.
Hope the flooring goes well annie and the physio.
Sleep well all x

Hoping you got through the difficulty you had today Nonnie. Take care and blessings from me to you. X

Well done Annie for being so truly patient. Not easy at all. X

Dawn xx

Hi all x

nonnie you will do it, you have I am sure every good reason for doing it, good luck, my thoughts and prayers are with you x

They didn’t fit the flooring yesterday, they are now coming today , physiotherapist calling this after noon, she raises my stress levels .

Be back later

Hi all, Please, if you pray, pray for me this afternoon from 2pm. If not please just send me good vibes, I need help so much. Thought I was coping but have fallen apart this morning at the thought of the meeting I have to go to.

That's really great though Annie if somebody can speak up for you and support you. Shame about the wait.

Hi all x

The advocate not calling for another 2 - 3 weeks.

Having new flooring fitted in the hall this morning, just had message from younger granddaughter who was coming to move things from hall and help me with opening doors etc,
she has a part time job to help funds , she is at university,she can’t get day off.

Be back later , x

annie grrr, how ridiculous to fit an unsuitable hand rail. Time for strong words.

Salsa poor you, I think I go to the loo in the middle of the night just because I'm awake, don't think it is my bladder waking me.

Doodle thanks, not sure what to call my feelings as the time approaches. It has taken us so long to get to this stage and I might simply feel relief when it is done. Sometimes we just have to try to climb the hill to prove to ourselves we have done all we could. Sorry to be cryptic, good reasons why.

flutter yes, I don't understand why some people think we can turn off our thoughts, I certainly can't turn off mine. I can't stop worrying about some things and, I admit, I sometimes have vengeful thoughts but I would never do anything about them. I would like to be a better person but I can't help my thoughts, just my actions.

Onwards and upwards all.

Hows the idea of the advocate progressing? Maybe they could deal with some of this?

Oh annie I don’t believe it. You waited all this time and the rails too big. That’s ridiculous. Hope you can get it changed.
salsa my DH is up many times every night with overactive bladder. He gets so tired. I am sorry you have this too.
nonnie hope your Thursday goes ok. I was going to type try not to worry about it tomorrow but then I know how hard it is not to worry when something is on your mind. I think we all long for bed sometimes just to go to sleep and forget our troubles for a bit.
flutterby if I have something on my mind that is causing me to worry then it takes over a bit. I try not to think about it but it is very difficult if it is causing me concern and on those occasions I have the dodgy tum, heart beating too much and my mind won’t calm down. I think we are all like that when we have worries.

Can’t afford to pay builders Salsa, I was paying my brother by working without pay.

I will ask about the hand rail, if they can change it ? How long would it take them, they certainly don’t rush ?

Anniebach Oh, that's sad, Annie. Is there anyone else who could build the shelter? Any voluntary group that might be able to help? I hope something gets done about the handrail - I assumed they'd all be the same size, but perhaps the council can give you a smaller one?

I feel rather down Salsa, I keep trying to overcome the agoraphobia, bought Fred, arranged for someone from the Red Cross to accompany me out on Fred to gain confidence, then my brother said he was to busy to finish building the shelter for me to park Fred in.

Waited months for the hand rail , to big for my hand to hold onto it.

Will keep trying though, don’t know how yet needs some thought

Anniebach Yes, it's a real nuisance. Oh no, the handrail is too big? Will the council be able to change it or alter it in some way?

Hi all x

Glad you liked me sending the flowers I wish I could have taken them but perhaps next year, I haven’t been home since the agoraphobia kicked in. Even after all these years walking through the memorial garden bring such mixed feelings, how happy I was going to that school, how I felt as I watched little bodies being carried out from the same school.

*Salsa, poor you, how uncomfortable, and such broken sleep.

flutterbye yes Dr Weekes was ahead of her time, she has helped so many.

nonnie I see a physiotherapist who has given me exercises, muscles are very wasted.

The hand rail was fitted this morning, it is too big for my twisted hands to grasp! grrrrrr

Hi friends.
Annie did you get the hand rail fixed up? I also read the Aberfan thread - what a thoughtful lady you are Annie - thank you also from me.
Have wee question folks. If you are not doing anything does this make you bit Anxious/restless ? with bit of a butterfly /churny tum perhaps? What do you do?
Thanks

nanny I think I understand that. Are you a position to move? Can you wait until it has been a year? We are advised not to make important decisions too soon after bereavement.

I haven't heard anything about Dr Weeks so will put looking it up on my todolist. Motivation is my issue most days.

annie you recognise that your muscles will be week so perhaps you can start with a few simple stretches? Maybe moving your ankles more than normal and then whatever muscle group you feel you can. This situation has to be slow to improve, little by little. I know from experience how easy it is to overdo it and cause damage so please take it gently.

Just been out for a very long lunch with some old friends. It made me feel fit and young because she has so much wrong with her and even needs help cutting up her food. We left the restaurant with her on her walker and she fell over. She said she had hurt her shoulder and hip but wouldn't go to hospital. A couple of young guys drove up and lifted her into her wheelchair for which we were very grateful. When I see someone like her I do feel grateful for what I have.

Salsa sounds difficult.

Doodle not sure I relax on lazy days, always feel I should be achieving something, that is why I envy you. Most days I just can't wait for bedtime. Got a day tomorrow when I don't have to do anything and then 'gird my loins' for a difficult day on Thursday.

Annie and Doodle I get up about 4 times every night, so my sleep is always broken. I'm sick of it, to be honest. I've had this problem for about 12 years or more. It makes life awkward, as wherever I go, I'm constantly wondering where the toilets are. Never mind, there are worse problems to have, and I know how lucky I am with so many things.

Just read the Aberfan thread and found out about the flowers you send annie. What a lovely gesture. Thank you ?

annie even though it was so long ago, the Aberfan disaster brings back memories of such shock and horror. More so for you being so close. Such a sad day.
nonnie there is nothing wrong with lazy days if you can just relax. If I find my mind is dwelling on things it shouldn’t, I spend a little time in prayer and then get up and do something to distract myself.
nanny I really hope you can get some relief from this pain you are suffering at the moment. Are you anywhere near moving yet?
salsa you poor girl you must be worn out. I hope you get help with your problem soon.
I will have a listen to YouTube flutterby thanks for the suggestion.
Take care all of you x

Hi Anniebach I have a book by Dr Claire Weekes that I refer to. I think she sure was before her time. One amazing, clever lady. There are lots of Dr Claire Weekes post on you tube. Would recommend folks to have a listen to them.
Hope all goes well with hand rail tomorrow and let’s hope it is a nice sunny day for you - sending you positive thoughts.
Night night all x

Salsa, 25 times ? Do you get much sleep ?

Anniebach I hope you get on OK., both with the Age Cymru and with the handrail. I'm OK, thanks, a bit fed-up of this bladder problem (overactive bladder) but am being referred to a Urologist. Weeing 25 times a day (I kid you not)is seriously tedious.

Hi all x

nonnie I do think your two sons connected x

Salsa I will contact Age Cymru, I will need company getting use to the hand rail. How are you ? X

nannie still no further with moving house ?

flutterby do read Claire Weekes books, x

The hand rail is being fitted tomorrow ! legs so weak will have to try just a few steps and build up, it’s the start of beating the wretched agoraphobia.

53 years ago today at 9.30am I experienced my very first panic attack ! only help then was the tranquilizers, thank heaven things are moving on from those things