Personally I don't think a couple of bottles per week is excessive. If it isn't causing you any health (or financial) problems I wouldn't worry about it.
I hardly drink any alcohol but my husband gets through at least double what you're drinking - often significantly more. He always drains the bottle and has never managed to 'go sober' for more than 4 days!
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I’ve been drinking too much all my adult life
(112 Posts)I started at 16 (I’m now 62) when I binge drank along with my peers. This continued through university and into my 30s. After my daughter was born at age 42 I calmed down a bit but after my divorce a few years later, I started drinking at home.
Now I’ll usually drink a couple of bottles of wine a week but more often than not, it’ll be almost a whole bottle at a time. I have a good job and am financially secure but really want to cut down massively. I’ve been sober for long periods in the past and tried AA but nothing has worked long term. I’m very worried about my health (I have no known health issues currently apart from non-melanoma skin cancers). Can anyone relate?
When I decided I wanted to cut down I just stopped buying wine with my shopping. If I want some, I can go out and buy it but I find that I very seldom do, its having it so available that's the problem. And its only wine, I can have gin in the house and not be tempted!
I think the " Can anyone relate?" is a clue as to what the OP was after.....a decent, honest conversation and to feel she is not alone.
A bout of pancreatitis was my wake up call, and now have 2 small glasses of wine a day, however always have a glass of squash around which has helped with the habit of sipping from a glass, I think some of the problem with me was habit, good luck
This will be a harsh reply ...but with respect, I wonder what you were wanting, by posting on here. If you are truly concerned about how you drink, you will be able to stop. Buy only small bottles of wine and make that decision, now, today, to limit the amount and way that you drink. Draw a line under it, use all your willpower, and do it....don’t try....just do it.Dont make excuses or it won’t happen. My sister drunk herself to death, irreversibly damaged her liver (it happens sometimes without you realising it) , put on weight, and had a fatal heart attack at a young age. Don’t go down that path. For myself, I was unwell a while ago, which meant I couldn’t drink alcohol for over a year...I had to stop...I never had a drink issue but missed the wine. I made some changes-and its so possible if you really want to do it. It can also be an addiction. If you think you can’t do it on your own, there is support out there. Post again, when you have made those changes, to help other people in the same position.
I too need to cut back on the wine. Won't be able to afford it when I retire. I am finding it is just the glass habit. I am now replacing a glass of wine with cranberry juice...colour is right. Yearly tests show I have good liver and kidney function. Hope to cut back to just a drink on a relaxing Saturday night...
If you have been drinking heavily it's actually dangerous to stop suddenly. I didn't know and just stopped after drinking one bottle of whisky or brandy a week. The doctor said I could have been really bad, so start by cutting down. Good luck!
One little thing which has helped me is deliberately arranging things to do in the morning. We all know the signs of a hangover and it isn't pleasant to be around.
It can be harder to resist the damn stuff when each day just stretches out before you.
I’m in my 70s and following the death a few years ago of my mother, who had been living with us until she died aged 97, I had fallen into the habit of drinking almost a bottle of white wine a day. It was on Gransnet, I think, that last December I came across people talking about “Dry January” (not drinking all month after the excesses of Xmas). I had a number of health issues at that time, including constant skin rashes, especially on my lower legs; swollen ankles; abdominal pain/backache that made it difficult to even stand up straight, and they’d become worse than ever. So I stopped drinking straight away. I intended originally to just stop for January, but the positive effect was so startling — no rashes or swelling, for the first time for several years — that I kept it up and have now not touched a drop for more than 9 months. Saved a fortune too. I recommend it!
There are many good suggestions on here. My own feeling is it's only worth drinking good wine so perhaps hit yourself where it hurts and buy good wine which you might savour slowly and be reluctant to buy two bottles. Someone said that taking up cross stitch is not a help but I found crochet kept my hands busy and helped me not to nibble in the evening and so lost weight- I'd do the same if I felt I was drinking too much. I married into a heavy drinking culture in dh's family.
I wonder if op might look on Mumsnet as there are often people wanting buddies to lose wieight or stop drinking.
I am a g&t every evening person or a glass of wine with a meal but I've trained myself to be fussy as dh's family loved bargains i.e. Cheap gin and wine and as smokers they had no taste buds.
Good luck op.
Sorry haven’t read all the responses. Don’t buy it. If it isn’t in the house it’s much easier to drink. Once you are not drinking every night you will find it easier to drink less when you go out.
I used to drink pretty much every night. Then my husband stopped completely, it was no longer open or in the house so much and I barely drink now. If there’s an open wine bottle I am far more likely to drink than if none are open and if there’s none in the house I am very unlikely to go out to buy any!
My Father was unhappily married and in great pain with arthritis. He would happily drink a bottle or two of rum or whisky every couple of days until my Mother pointed out how much money he was spending. He gave up immediately and for the rest of his life would only have the occasional pint of Guinness. Put the money you would have spent in a jar for a special treat and see how fast it mounts up.
I used to drink whilst cooking. Sometimes now I make a cup of tea before I start cooking and drink it as I go along. Often once the meal is ready I don't want alcohol. Not the same I know but it does work for me.
I found it much easier to give up alcohol entirely than restrict myself to a given amount. I took the decision to go dry 5 years ago, after my husband went into a dementia care home. We had been used to sharing a bottle of wine over dinner every night, and that in itself is far too much, but after he went into the home, I was lonely and sad, and I found myself drinking a whole bottle myself, and sometimes even opening another one. I decided the best thing was just to stop. I have alcohol in the house for other people and for recipes which require it, but I am not tempted. Sometimes people are rather challenged when I say "No thanks, I don't drink", but that's their problem! Very best of luck Maggie
There are lots of blogs out there. Mrs. D is one.
I agree with the fooling the taste buds if possible, alcohol-free wine or, in my case, tonic with all the trimmings but no gin. Some lovely 'mocktails' you might like to make too. Enjoying alcohol could just be because you like having a glass by you as you relax, as some have said, so that might help. I also find if I make a cup of tea first, I don't really want the wine then! Well done and good luck.
My stepmother was an alchoholic and died of a brain haemorrhage at 50. There's always a reason why people drink with her it was a total rejection and hatred from her mother who had to get married. Try to work out why you drink; what you are trying to blot out. Alcoholics anonymous are brilliant people and will help.
I can really understand how that happens, after my divorce& the kids were at their dads I drank too much. II've remarried & my hubby has had a battle with drink too (vodka) he drank when working overseas & very lonely. His gp was helpful & referred him to a residential counselling facility (that was over 20 years ago when it was available) he went to AA but says it wasnt all that helpful for him. He paid for some sessions with a qualified hypnotherapist (who also got him off cigarettes later) and that did work. He doesn't go near vodka now & only has 3 brandies a year approx, no other spirits. However he does have two red wines per evening (started off at one when i first met him)but strictly not before driving. He cannot give it up completely nor can he stop the sleeping pill his doctors still prescribe and he often claims is 'no good'. Ive tried to discuss this with him because they should never be long term but he says if he cant have his sleeping pills he'll revert back to drinking more. Once he's had his 2 large wines & a sleeping pill I cannot rely on him in an emergency & I'm worried in case he ups the intake again.
I feel that this could have been me 6 years ago now. My epiphany came when my husband found an empty wine bottle next to the ironing board in an upstairs cupboard!!!!
I felt sadness and shame and as luck had it that afternoon at a dental appointment I read an article that spoke about a group she had set up because of her drinking called SOBERISTAS I joined, having never done anything like this in my life, it was exactly what I needed.
My skin now looks good, I don’t wake up feeling dreadful and eventually lost a stone weight.
Give it a look at it might just be for you, if not I am happy to support you in anyway I can, it’s good to give back
Anghared
This tends to be an unpopular message, but if you want to cut down, but find you can’t, you are at the least, a problem drinker - dependant to some extent. That may be physically, psychologically or both. I’d recommend seeing someone to explore that, preferably a Psychologist. If that is too expensive, then a counsellor. I talk about expense because if you have an NHS referral, you won’t be considered a priority. Therefore, you may have a long wait, and due to the demands of people with ‘more serious’ mental health problems, you’d be lucky to get a couple of appointments before being discharged.
Hi Maggie, been there, done that, and it was a big factor in my first marriage breaking down. Maggie, do not buy wine. Do not buy alcohol. Don’t have it in your house. Don’t have it in your life. It’s poison and I am sorry, but you have to be tough with this one. I was sober for eleven years and then I managed to drink moderately, but it doesn’t stay moderate. Sorry, but if, like me, you have a propensity to drink too much and don’t know when to stop, you can’t drink. When I was sober I returned to uni and got a first class degree and turned my life around. Please don’t drink. I have stopped (again), as it was starting to creep up on me. I have had health problems so now I am starting on a healthy diet and exercise regime. There is a man on YouTube called Craig Beck and he is wonderful. Watch him. He’ll make you feel strong. Good luck. Well done for seeing there’s a problem. Now deal with it and you will do it. You’ll make yourself proud. Big hugs xx
No condemnation here for those who drink too much even though I rarely drink at all. I have a similar issue with sweet stuff and it is as addictive as alcohol! The only way I can control it is not to have the stuff in the house. That way, the only time I am likely to cave is if I am eating out. Maybe the OP can avoid drinking too by not buying wine and not going down the wine aisle at the supermarket.
I lost my husband five years ago. We always drank, and as with most people, it became a ritual. When I lost him, I kept up the ritual (and others, too) because it made my unwanted new life feel normal. I also didn't give a monkey's about my health and really wanted to die, and still do, but less so. I hit an empty spot late morning which I fill with a gin/vermouth. Start again at around 5pm, sometimes earlier. You would never guess, as I never get drunk.
Tried AA once, and it was full of people wrecking their lives with alcohol, and I felt like a fake (hated it anyway.) Know I'm putting myself at risk of all kinds of nasties, but it's so hard to control. Alcohol also, in my mind, connects with creativity, so if I'm stuck (I'm in an overcrowded creative profession anyway), I drink, and convince myself it helps, which it sometimes does. Joined "Club Soda" on Facebook, which I sometimes visit because it can be helpful, and has none of AA's semi-religious style which I loathed.
I am also old-old, and dread the future, officially opting for euthanasia, but that's not easy.
Hi. This lady is concerned at her drink behaviours. So it matters not about the amount or regularity of others drink patterns. Personally I think we should all applaud her for reaching out.. Habits are hard to break but they can be broken. Maybe small strategies to begin with. Buy one bottle and be firm and drink it over 2 days with a meal. Grab a glass of water to clutch while watching tv. Pop the money saved into a pot and treat yourself every month or so to a spa session or save for a mini break. Walk more. Chat to practice nurse. I drive and am happy to be a nominated driver and not drink at all but that's me not her.. Its not easy to make changes but not impossible either. Good luck and good health to you.
Imho you really don’t drink that much compared to the average. I know the nhs say there is no safe levels now but I think a little of what you like does you good
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