I’ve been drinking too much all my adult life

I have friends who drink like you maggie perhaps even more.

I suppose up to a point it is a lifestyle choice unless you consider that you are an alcoholic, in which case you should seek proper help.

I feel really sorry for you dealing with this problem. Is there someone close to you who could support you? When are your “weak” moments; what can you do to avoid them/keep yourself with busy with someone you enjoy more?

Maggie I have a couple of glasses of wine, or the equivalent, most days, so I’m probably drinking as much as you do, and it’s just about, or only just above, the recommended levels. It doesn’t worry me.

You say you’re worried about the health implications, although you haven’t any ‘issues’ - if you’re worried about the effects on your liver, you could ask your GP for a liver function test. I think at 62, you’re entitled to a full NHS health check which would include this. You’d have an opportunity to discuss your worries with the practice nurse or whoever did the check.
Or is your fear that things might get out of control? Again I think you could get help via your GP.
Good luck

Dry January website has lots of interesting articles and tips on cutting down on drinking. Maybe you’ve tried all that, and it sounds like you find completely cutting out easier than cutting down, so maybe have a Monday- Friday ban is easier ?
Two bottles a week doesn’t sound that bad to me to be fair, if you only have that much in the house it might help.

You say you really want to cut down and have been sober for long periods in the past. The will is there, so what was it that helped you to do that? Can you define what you were doing in your life at that time which took your mind off drinking and can you do that again?

Can you not think how you'd rather spend your money than drinking it away? Perhaps save the wine money for something really special you've always wanted to do.

Think about your health. No known health issues doesn't mean there aren't some waiting to announce their presence. Look after yourself because you deserve to live a good long life in good health. Don't risk illness later for a drink now.

You've taken the important step of admitting you want to change. Seek help if you can't do it alone. Good luck.

Hi Maggie I don't have personal experience but worked in the treatment sector for problematic alcohol use for many years (not as a clinician).

Check out Soberistas, maybe post on their forums:

soberistas.com/

Good luck in your endeavours to cut back.

I know how difficult it is to give up a habit as I'm a smoker as opposed to a drinker----of which I don't touch drink.
You have to start by reducing your intake, which can be done rather than stopping altogether.

Both habits have proven to have direct links to cancer in some way although we also know that cancer occurs in those who don't drink or smoke but when you do it exacerbates those areas within your body that are " beds " for cancer growths.

Start by buying your two bottles of wine and eke them out to last you for the week----you can do this by having one glass after your meals and perhaps another glass further into the evening and if you stick to this you'll only need your two bottles a week-------just make sure it's the average wine glass and not a tumbler ! Drink a glass or two of water in between.

Over a long time of " rationing " myself, I can manage my habit, although I was never what you call a heavy smoker, I can make 20 last me 3 and even 4 days. I'd never buy in bulk/carton. If I run out I can do without them.

You're not old so now is the best time to begin some sort of regime before you reach your 70's if you want to remain fit in old age when you could find yourself falling due to balance not being the same, mixed with alcohol plus other ills when you replace food for alcohol which is a slippery slope in old age.

I understand that this is a choice with each individual adult but if you want to carry on remaining reasonably fit, then begin by asking yourself why you do it, do you need as much as you're having and finally, do you WANT to reduce.
It's not something you can stop overnight and nobody expects this to happen, least of all your body ! A day at a time and some deep thoughts about your future health.

I wish you luck on whatever you decide as it's only yourself who can do something about it.

Similar story here MaggieT Wine tastes so lovely I drink most days and when I’m over in Spain the temptation is greater! I too have been having a think about all this recently. I’m 65y. Yes, it’s a habit. I intend to sort myself out.

Good luck ☘️

Unfortunately they have recently found there are no safe limits where alcohol is concerned. There is a direct link to breast cancers and other cancers. As it too was a habit with me to have a glass of white before my meal and a glass of red with my meal I now only drink one day a week and then water it down with soda. In the week I drink de-alcoholised wine. The Torres is quite acceptable. I find it difficult to stop altogether as my DH still likes his wine.

My alcohols intake is just above zero I guess, a glass or two of wine at a birthday or Christmas and a very occasional small bottle of cider in the summer I really couldn’t afford to be swigging bottles It’s an awful waste of money to pee out an hour or two later
Why don’t you save the money from each bottle you don’t buy (probably £20 a week or maybe) and treat yourself to something lovely at the end of each month or a spa day with a friend or something constructive

Since retiring I'd got used to enjoy my tipple of Brandy, only it got out of hand and I was sipping right through the day. It took an unrelated health scare to turn me off drink altogether and now I don't really even want one drink a day. So as you can see it's quite common especially when you are at home all day.

I can't relate to this personally but I have two friends who drink too much, one sadly is I think trying to drink herself to death and nothing helps.
I wonder if it's just having a drink in your hand which is a comfort? Could you switch to a non-alcoholic wine or beer, or even a soft drink? These are nicer tasting these days.

Same amount for me as bluebelle. A waste of money, I never needed the uplift. Realitive in law, was a steady drinker, fine wines you understand and flying here there and everywhere for work, now has early alzheimers. DD a dentist says that alcohol and smoking together often leads to nasty debilitating mouth cancers. I think the universe for me never really liking alcohol. Maybe it was the psychology of living opposite a pub and seeing the sick outside there every morning

So sorry for those struggling. I do have a chocolate addiction but I keep active and it takes my mind off it

Very brave of you to open up on this. And yes, it is a real problem for many of our friends and those in our DDs generation.

We drink very little, and only socially, when with friends. But really- could all those who do not drink in excess keep off this thread? How is it helping to say 'not my problem'.

Maggie, hope you get some good advice and find the strength to deal with this. x

Thank you for the replies. I don’t so much think it’s the amount I drink, rather it’s the way I drink. Sadly if I have wine in the house I drink it, so only buy one bottle at a time. I’m very much aware of the increased cancer risk with alcohol and that’s one of the reasons I want to cut down.

I'm the same Maggie I've worried about my drinking and the effect on my health for years. I'm 70 now and have no health problems that I know of. I think the worrying does me more harm than the alcohol. My mother never touched alcohol or cigarettes and was dead at 58 through worry and stress. All we can do is try to cut back which I am trying to do. I think there are many people in the same boat although some don't admit it. It's not the answer I know but my life, since the day I was born, has been incredibly stressful and I can never relax. A couple of glasses of wine helps me do so.

I used to drink a fair deal but in my 50s I started having horrendous headaches lasting for 3 days and no pain killers except aspirin would touch it. I was amazed that when I stopped for relationship reasons the headaches gradually became less frequent. These days I rarely drink any alcohol as I’m too afraid of those headaches.

The biggest downside is that I find going to the pub rather a trial. I’m not fond of cold, soft fizzy drinks so occasionally I have a bottle of low alcohol beer. I like the idea of wine without the alcohol. Perhaps you could try mixing alcohol free wine with your normal tipple. This could have the effect of reducing your intake. I also enjoy elderflower syrup mixed with soda as a substitute.

There is great pressure to drink socially. How many films, tv programmes use alcohol as relaxant? I’m fairly sure that until you don’t drink (much) this is not even noticed.

Good luck with your campaign and don’t stress about it. Even having non-alcohol periods in your life gives your body time to regenerate.

Very well said jura But really- could all those who do not drink in excess keep off this thread? How is it helping to say 'not my problem'.

Good comment.

I wonder if you could try buying the small bottles of wine, if you know that you are going to finish the bottle once it's opened? I am the same with chocolate, once a box is opened my willpower is gone. So maybe start with a small bottle to cut down on the overall amount and then limit to one day a week? Try to find an alternative, soda water, or something similar that will give you a drink but without the alcohol or sugar. You could also visit your GP for advice, maybe look at the NHS website too. X

We are all at risk of getting cancer.
I think it’s easy to interpret ‘increased risk’ as something greater than it really is.
It’s perhaps as well to remember that there are health benefits from drinking wine as well as risks.

This is from the Breast Cancer Now website:

“In a group of 50 women who do not drink, about six will probably develop breast cancer in their lifetime.

But in a group of 50 women who drink two units of alcohol a day (for example, a standard glass of wine), about seven will develop breast cancer in their lifetime
*So drinking two units a day causes one extra woman out of every 50 to develop breast cancer*”

breastcancernow.org/about-breast-cancer/want-to-know-about-breast-cancer/what-can-cause-breast-cancer/alcohol-and-breast-cancer-risk

I get fed up of being preached at. I have a friend who is younger than me and has almost never had a drink in her life. She frowns on it in fact. Every time I speak to her she is ill - colds, flu, chest infections, aches and pains.

Just to add, I've never had a chest infection, flu and haven't had a cold for over 30 years. Maybe I'm pickled!

And then a dear colleague who never smoked never drank clean living died of lung cancer at 62!

With any ingrained habit there's often a subtle ritual to the whole thing. If you normally settle on the settee in front of the TV with a drink then do something else instead that you enjoy but without a drink. If that's too difficult then try low/no alcohol wine. It's much better tasting than it used to be.
The most important step has already been taken in that you have decided you want to break that habit. Good luck.