I’ve been drinking too much all my adult life

Just to say my drinking didn’t start early in life but only over the past couple of years.

I haven’t read all the replies but I can easily identify with your problem. I got close to a bottle a night not all that long ago and because I’m on my own I got very scared about it and how I felt in the mornings. I always overslept, was dehydrated and I sometimes worried whether I was fit to drive so knowing I was taking a child out with me the next day has helped to pull me back. I had tried to do dry January but fell out of it in a week.

I put on weight because along with the wine I was eating”nibbles” before dinner. Saltiness of those didn’t help.
I started off by having every other day without alchohol and that made me realise how much better I felt and how much more I could do. Now I have some wine only at the weekend. I’ve stopped having it accessible in the house! Having to go further and unlock a door gives me time to ask whether I really want it. My difficulty is finding something to drink instead and it’s difficult because I’m not keen on sugary, sweet, fruit squashes. I have Diet Coke or ginger ale or tonic water with lemon. It hasn’t been easy but I know that because I wasn’t very happy for a number of reasons I felt I deserved something nice at the end of the day. At last I realised that the wine was making me feel worse rather than better. Even as I drank it I really hated myself for being weak and needing it.

I know it sounds weird but after a week of only drinking every other night I felt so much better and pleased that I had achieved that at least and decided to go the whole hog the following week.

Cutting wine out of my daily routine, together with the nibbles has resulted in a loss of weight which to me is a huge reward in itself. I’m sleeping better, eating sensibly and to my surprise I’m actually happier and much less stressed. I also spend less at the supermarket!

I think that if you can achieve alternate days dry you will feel better. If you were’t Worried you wouldn’t have posted. I had wanted to post my problem on here but was worried about the replies I would get. So you’ve been braver than me!

Try and find a “soft” drink you like which has a “serious” taste to it and isn’t just sweetened fizz. Angostura bitters is delicious with tonic or sparkling water, and you only need a few drops. Fizzy lemonade with a spoonful of balsamic vinegar is very good; add the balsamic cautiously at first as too much isn’t nice. Dress your drink up with ice and a slice and make a ceremony of it.

I got into the habit of drinking every night when supermarkets were doing three bottles for ten pounds. I was buying 3 every Friday and they'd gone by the following week. I was going to work feeling awful. I got to the point where I knew it had to stop. I can't have it in the house and not drink it. Now I buy one bottle on a Friday & it lasts me until Sunday. I don't drink during the week now, except on holiday, which isn't very often. I still think a bottle during 3 days feels too much, even though the guidelines say not. The facts are, alcohol does increase the risk of cancers. It's all down to habit and making a change to what you usually do. I buy apple juice for during the week, not the same but it helps me.

Buy a bottle of expensive wine and you will appreciate the flavour more.

I have been diagnosed with Angioedema but link my symptoms to something in Red Wine possibly sulphate but it’s something to avoid if you are prone to allergies.

I don't know if you are on Facebook but there's a group on there called Club Soda which you can join. Many on there are trying to give up altogether but just as many are trying to moderate their intake. It's very supportive so do have a look if you get chance. And good luck.

Two bottles of wine a week doesn't make you an alcoholic, Maggie. I'm not a fan of heavy drinking, but I have plenty of friends who are way older than you and drink more. Nonetheless, too much alcohol does increase your risk of developing certain illnesses, so it's always best to cut down if you can. I would say try not to stress about it too much stressing will just make you think about needing a drink to calm you down.
I think Daisymae had a good idea, suggesting you buy smaller bottles of wine. That would certainly be worth a try.
Good luck!

I have a couple of glasses of wine around 5, enjoy it, and stop when I have had enough. I often leave a couple of inches in the bottle. I feel at 79 I have learned what is good for me and what isn't, and dont feel any guilt.

Drinking is generally socially acceptable in the UK, even traditional, and health risks have been downplayed. Our bad health habits are just too lucrative for any government to stop being two-faced about them. Just look at all the lovely tax money that smoking and drinking bring in!

www.gov.uk/tax-on-shopping/alcohol-tobacco

My mother died from cirrhosis of the liver when she was 58. Ten years younger than I am now. She didn’t start drinking til she was in her mid thirties. Lots of hard drinkers in her family.

Absolutely no judgment from on how much anyone is drinking just some advice please get you liver checked. Liver disease exhibits no symptoms until it is becomes decompensated and scarring will be permanent. Any amount of alcohol kills liver cells and if a person drinking does not allow the liver time to recover then damage could occur. Please be safe x

I am absolutely sure there are many people using this site who drink too much. It's very common.

Sorry Gonegirl, no idea if your comment was directed at me?

Since you ask, some things which can help are keeping a drinks diary, engaging with a local support service, seeing a therapist to consider what is going on that the alcohol is masking. Also distract yourself at key times ( wine o'clock),make sure you have early morning appointments/things to do and not vast amounts of unstructured time.
These are a few ideas.

It is an addictive substance.

Low

Yes Lowe alcohol wines may help. I used to drink 13 proof. Now I drink Lambrini which is about 6.5.

newnanny has beaten me to it - if not zero alcohol, maybe try out some of the low-alcohol wines. Speaking as someone who was really overweight, I lost weight by keep ing my eating pattern essentialy the same, but using low-fat low-sugar products instead.

Although I m not much of a drinker I had two grandads who both knew how to push a pint and one liked gin and they were both heavy smokers one cigarettes the other a pipe The pipe smoker died a horrible death of throat cancer at early 70s my Dad had no time for his dad because he said his mum stayed poor all her life because granddad used to drink his wages (after giving her some) but they could have had a better quality of life if he hadn’t been in the pub each weekend
my other grandad had a heart attack at 63 he was a lovely very lovely man and I was heartbroken to lose him
My two grans outlived then by about 15 and 25 years
I wasn’t old enough to know why they drank
But I do know it s a habit alcohol is a depressive so will pull you down If you ve been to AA you will know all of this and unfortunately no one can do it for you it sounds as if you want to go for it again treat each day as it comes and get through one day at a time
I could easily be addicted to those beautiful big bags of hand cooked crisps but I allow myself one packet a week and try not to think about them at other times

Why not try having wine spritzers, increasing the spritzer to wine ratio a little at a time.

Have you tried the alcohol free wines. Maybe you could have a bottle of one of those every other bottle. I used to have to drink one when it was my turn to drive when we went out with friends. I think they taste OK. Try a bottle Maggie and then come back and tell us what you think it is like.

Telling people to snap out of anything whether depression, addiction, comfort eating or whatever is rarely helpful, however well-meant and motivational it's supposed to be, in fact it usually has the opposite effect.
I was told to snap out of depression after I had a late miscarriage (at 20 weeks) because I already had a child and could always have more. It really made things worse and I took longer to seek help because it made me feel like being depressed was a personal failing and it made me feel shame.

Maggie we all have our vices. I eat too much. Others smoke. If you are worried about the level of your drinking just cut back a bit. Make a bottle last 2 nights instead of one. It is not as if you are an alcoholic. You could share a bottle with a friend instead of drinking it all yourself.

Can I just state the obvious that alcohol is socially acceptable, legal, very very well marketed and also an addictive substance.
In medical terms it also temporarily fires up dopamine.

If the dangers don`t scare people into stopping esp alcohol and smoking together, then not much else will and no I won`t stop coming here if I want to, we all have to know when it is good to say no and that could be to sugar as well as alcohol. My dd has seen very sad cases of avoidable mouth cancers. Hiding the head in the sand does nor help. The incentive to stop has to come from within the individual and platitudes, no matter how kindly said, are no good. It has to be hard facts ie alcohol is a poison, just look at a hardened alcoholic liver. The wonderful liver, the powerhouse of the body, it should be cherished not poisoned

Well, if AA hasn't worked, what do you suggest?!

Alright criticising other people's advice.

Well said grapefruitpip