I’ve been drinking too much all my adult life

I also water down white wine Maggie so I get the taste but not the quantity.

Thank you Nan. I think I might try just buying a couple of 1/4 bottles at a time so I can’t drink more than 1/2 bottle. I know 1/2 bottle is a bit too much but it’s a start.

Maggie you are so brave to open up to us on GN.

Most supermarkets sell quarter bottles, this could be a start for you on cutting down.

If it wasn't that 2 glasses of wine make me feel physically ill, I can easily see how I could have slipped down the slippery path of drinking too much. I often think late afternoon ‘wouldn’t it be nice to have a glass of wine whilst getting the supper?’. Then the next day I would think the same and so it goes on. I’m lucky my body stops me over indulging.

Also drinking too much alcohol can make dementia more likely so that scares me off big time. Is there anything you can do to scare yourself into reducing your drinking?

Best of luck.

Sorry, have only just come back to this thread and am very grateful for all your comments. I know two bottles of wine a week doesn’t seem like much but I’m concerned at HOW I drink rather than how much. The whole bottle is consumed in one sitting and I have a very strong craving for a drink, so find it hard to take it or leave it.

Today I have a bad hangover because I drank last night and couldn’t do what I was supposed to do. I know this is a red flag. I do like the idea of just buying half bottles of wine but haven’t found them anywhere.

Hello my dear l think you have begun the transformation of your body and mind. I recently read overcoming addiction by Russell Brand although a young guy his book is wonderfully helpful. Murina

Maggie, only you know how much you REALLY DRINK. If alcohol is costing you more than money. Meaning, Your family and friends being concerned with your drinking and with the worry with your health. AA does work if you really want to stop and is very supportive. Please give it another go, I have been sober now for 21 years and have a fulfilled life and certainly would not like to go back to those horrible dark days.

Well the fact of the matter is no one is perfect I think everyone of us has our vices mine def isn’t drink as I’m tea total, but sadly I have a rare liver condition so I couldn’t if I wanted to: but I have a choc addiction

I hope my story can help. I started drinking from an early age(bottles of cider with friends before youth club) this was around the age of 16 back in 1970. I lost my dad in a road accident when I was 15 and found it hard to cope at the time. Most of my teens were spent drinking and going clubbing. I met my hubby and initially he wasn't a drinker so I amazingly stopped drinking to excess myself. But a few year later having 3 children and stressful jobs we began drinking at home in the evenings. His father had been an alcoholic, but hubby never accepted that he himself was getting a problem. How we held our jobs down and looked after our children was nothing short of a miracle. Years of drinking every other night of brandy or rum eventually took it's toll. We had actually enjoyed the buzz from drinking and found it relaxing, and that was one of the main problems. Slowly though, I wasn't enjoying it anymore and begged him to cut down for his health. He was also a heavy smoker and 10 years older than me. Then came a diagnosis in his sixties of an aggressive cancer which was treated and he was very lucky (although he is now back to 3 monthly monitoring after 5 years) The day he was due to have his 8 hour operation he smoked his last cigarette. After he went into remission he started having a few too many glasses of spirits again at weekends only. I wasn't drinking much at all by now as I didn't want him to get ill again and I was trying to set a good example. Two years later due to a bout of pancreatitis, he was admitted into hospital and then came the diagnosis of liver cirrhosis. At first they thought it was decompensated but it is compensated. Since the day he was admitted, he has never touched a drop since and neither have I. That was 5 years ago. It took both illnesses to make us stop, first smoking and then drinking. We were lucky, as there was no struggle involved to stop, but two life threatening illnesses brought us to our senses. We were just creatures of habit, coming home after a day at work and pouring those drinks to relax and wind down when the children were in bed. I enjoy my life so much more now that I don't drink and I value each day more now than I ever have. If you are concerned Maggie that you are drinking too much then you probably are. I still find it quite difficult to socialise when everybody is having a drink but I am always pleased with myself the next day. We have had many stressful situations to deal with since becoming tee total but we just seem able, touch wood, to deal with them without resorting to a drink. I hope I haven't rambled on too much, but I hope my story will help others that may be struggling with alcohol, to know that they too can do it. I just wish we had stopped drinking a lot sooner than we did. The British Liver trust website is very good and informative, also with an online community for people with liver problems, be it alcohol or non alcohol related issues. They are always there for you, and are non judgemental. Good luck Maggie, you can do it.

I understand your desire to stop and concerns about health. I started smoking at 13 and finally stopped at age 42....not wanting to smoke for 30 years, that was the hardest thing I have ever done. I think once I was smoke free for 2 years I knew I would never smoke again. When living in France our drinking increased, all the Brits we knew were retired and drank every evening if not lunchtime too. A few months of that and I could see the writing on the wall, I came back to the UK, got a job and it was October, so decided to do a dry October, it wasn't so tough. I am someone who finds it easier to stop altogether rather than reduce....so at the end of the month, after no bad mornings, no hangovers, no feeling yuk for a whole month, I continued to not drink. It wasn't difficult, yet I had been a lifelong drinker...and I drank more than you are drinking now. That was seven years ago. Ive never been tempted back. Love my alcohol free beers. Try dry October and just see if you can do it....and take it from there. You know you want to!!!!

You have to be honest with yourself. Do you want to stop? Is it a habit or an addiction? Only you can decide. It's your life so your decision as to what is best for you. Just ask yourself why you posted? Was it for help? Was it for grans to say don't worry about it?. You will find the answer will come from within. Good luck with your dilemma

I can empathise with where you feel you currently are and may I say well done for recognising that you may have an issue which is something I (yes I admit it) I had a problem with and I thought I was in control but it was in control of me. In honesty you don't sound to have a alcohol addiction but the binge drinking could give you a long term problem. I was lucky enough to have a solid loving partner who helped me through and the support of my GP who was just amazing. I found myself on Antabuse which worked for me and I haven't touched ANY alcohol in over 20 years but like a smoker, I'm not cured but now I have the willpower to say no thanks.
Don't overthink it but please, speak to your GP or health visitor, there is wonderful support out there when you feel you need it

Do you like prosecco?

I have found that supermarket brand 'de-alcoholised' fizzy wine is very drinkable (much nicer than the alcohol free ordinary wine), and can deal with the habit aspect of drinking in the evenings, as you pop the cork and pour it into a glass, just as though it is the real thing.

You won't get the 'buzz' of alcohol, but it's unlikely that you are addicted if you are drinking 2 bottles of wine a week, so replacing the habit aspect might be enough to break the cycle.

2 bottles of wine a week is 25 per cent over the recommended limit. The op is to be commended for recognising an issue and taking steps to reduce consumption.

Hi Maggie.....I think you are very brave and honest and I think possibly my advice would be two ways. I would possibly see your GP and ask to be referred to the local mental health team that deals with alcohol problems and also AA as they are known for being extremely helpful and supportive. I hope you manage to sort the help that you want.

To be honest, I don't think that 2 bottles over the space of a week is that much. What if you didn't have any in the house, would you have to go out and buy one? That would be more of a worry for me.

Have you tried Blue Cross? Many people find them preferable to AA.

You have taken the first and most difficult step in acknowledging that you have a problem and want to solve it.

My husband is in the same boat, so perhaps some of the things we have found helpful, might help you too. I hope so.

Don't keep any drink in the house. It is much easier to resist temptation if you have to go out and buy some when you feel like a glass. You have time to reconsider whether you really want it or not.

Be honest about the fact that you are doing your level best not to drink. I don't mean tell everyone. It is no concern of your place of work, but let family and trusted friends know that they will be doing you a massive favour if they NEVER offer you a drink.

Don't serve it for visitors to your home.

You say nothing works long term. To that I would like to say that everyone, who is trying to get rid of a bad habit, falls off
the wagon now and again.

When that happens, don't beat yourself up about it, get up and start again.

Lastly, have a word with your GP and ask for a prescription for Disulfiram tablets. You have to be completely sober when you take one (that doesn't seem to be a great problem for you). Once the tablet is in your system, you cannot take alcohol without feeling sick, giddy and very hot. These side effects effectively prevent one from drinking.

If you take Disulfiram, avoid desserts like trifle that contain alcohol as well.

My husband took them twice weekly for a year to stop drinking and now takes one, if he feels tempted.

Hope you succeed. It can be a stony path, but worthwhile.

Now is definitely the time to get out of the habit. It will be much harder once you retire.

Good luck. Send me a pm if I can help in any way.

Hi Maggie - any suggestions that involve relying on willpower alone won’t work - you need to understand why you drink before you can stop and deal with the underlying cause
I have been a very grateful member of AA for ten years - and the main reason it works is that I now understand how to deal with life’s ups and downs without reaching for a drink instead
You say you’ve tried AA and it didn’t work - I’d try again if I were you
Your consumption sounds pretty low to me but each of us has their own limit and if you are worried then that’s a good reason to do something about it
The ongoing support of friends in the fellowship is really important and it’s important to keep going even if you lapse - as I have - because it’s not stopping that’s hard but staying stopped
Good luck x

I would have thought that two bottles of wine a week is not excessive or anything to worry about. I had a drink problem and would go through one third of a litre of vodka and a bottle of wine every evening, year upon year and persuaded myself I was OK! But of course I was compounding my mental problems. I only stopped that pattern once I had my grandson and have cut down to - well, two bottles of wine a week.

I dont think anyone has mentioned the addictiveness of that lovely feeling you get after a glass or so of good wine. Suddenly your troubles dont seem so troublesome, you relax, you chat more easily, laugh more easily and unsurprisingly enjoy it. For me this is crux of cutting back or giving up. How can I get the nice wine buzz, but not overindulge. My answer has been to buy only half bottles of wine or smaller. There are web sites which specialise in 'half wine' and most supermarkets now have the minature bottles which are something like 18.7 cl. So wine is now a weekend treat and even if the temptation to drink the whole bottle sets in, then the whole bottle is much smaller than it used to be. I doubt I will give up. On balance the odd glass of red is potentially better heathwise than teetotal, although I realise trying to establish that fact is difficult, controversial and probably varies from one individual to another.

Try a tonic water in a wine glass. It makes all the difference and you can kid yourself it's white wine. Worth a try.

Will power is the best. I was drinking five or six pints every night and more at weekends but when i started a Teacher Training Course I gave it up and have never touched alcohol since, not even on 'special' occassions. I kept reminding myself that children and alcohol are a bad mix.

My mother in law drinks quite a bit and now becoming sneaky about it . She thinks She is behaving quite normal but slurring down the phone and keep repeating herself , is that normal . People are starting to give a wide berth but she can't see this is because of her drinking . She isn't a nice drunk she become obnoxious and demanding . Please don't end like her and do something about it now .

AmyLily I love that idea. I cut down a lot over the past few months mainly to support my husband who drinks far too much and I was “enabling” him. We were not getting on too well.

I went to a therapist for the first time in my life to discuss what to do. Result, No gin or vodka in the house anymore and wine only at weekends so reckon I drink a bottle a week over a two period. My skin is clearer, I am less fuzzy in the morning and my blood pressure is lower although not perfect. I am happy to be a designated driver and I have lost 14lbs and saved money too.

I have to confess that I do like good wine and would find it hard to stop completely but the benefits of cutting down are now obvious to me.

To the OP, I think you are very wise in considering cutting down and being aware. Better that way than it creeping up on you. Best of luck!

I found a solution that works for me and helped me shift 10lb in weight too so a double whammy. Every evening I measure 250ml (1 large glass of white wine) into a pyrex jug. I leave it in the fridge then make that last all night by mixing with soda and ice, I put it in a nice large wine glass and it keeps me happy all evening. I decided to buy a soda stream too and I make my own soda water. Eases my conscience about using plastic bottles of soda. Try not to beat yourself up about it. Good luck

Hi, you could try Drink Wise Age Well website.