Gransnet forums

Health

OH now on end-of-life care.

(520 Posts)
Luckygirl Fri 24-Jan-20 17:10:07

OH in nursing hone with end-stage PD, and he has been in terrible mental stress with paranoia on top of his total physical helplessness. He shot a temperature yesterday and clearly has some sort of infection - probably chest. I opted for him not to go to hospital, as I know this is what he wants. They are trying (and failing) to get oral antibiotics down, and have scratched all meds non-essential for his comfort . We just want him to go in peace now. But he is intermittently awake and in distress that he cannot articulate. They have all the necessary drugs for palliative care.

I am torn between wanting to keep him and wanting him to just go now so his distress is over. It is a torment

dogsmother Sun 02-Feb-20 13:02:22

? cyber hugs.

grannyqueenie Sun 02-Feb-20 13:01:19

Luckygirl thinking of at this time of so many mixed emotions. You loved him well in life, cared for him well in sickness now he he’s at peace it’s time to allow yourself mourn him well too. x

Nico97 Sun 02-Feb-20 12:57:59

Sincerest condolences Luckygirl to you and your family. At peace flowers

janeainsworth Sun 02-Feb-20 12:57:38

My condolences Luckygirl.
You have borne the sadness of your OH’s suffering for so long. I hope the happy memories will come back to sustain you.

Doodle Sun 02-Feb-20 12:50:23

So sorry luckygirl. He is at peace at last. Sincere condolences to you and your family flowers

BlueSapphire Sun 02-Feb-20 12:41:04

So sorry to read your news, Luckygirl. My sincere condolences to you and your family. He is now at rest.

Charleygirl5 Sun 02-Feb-20 12:39:08

So sorry to hear the news Lucky. He is now at peace.

mumofmadboys Sun 02-Feb-20 12:34:49

You were there for him to the end. Well done. You must rest now and catch up on your sleep. After a jumble of memories you will eventually recall happier times.
RIP Mr Lucky.

BBbevan Sun 02-Feb-20 12:33:06

Really sad to read your newsLucky but your DDH is in a better place now. Thinking of you and all your family. God Bless

paddyanne Sun 02-Feb-20 12:26:35

A peaceful end was what you wanted for him,I'm glad that happened and that he slipped away without pain .Memories will come when its their time and usually when you least expect them and bring smiles and tears with them.Time now to be thankful his long hard journey has ended.I hope you have people surrounding you in these days and weeks to come and that you can share your love for him together .Candle still burning here and I'll leave it burning for you until it comes to its end .

GrannySomerset Sun 02-Feb-20 12:22:17

You have been in my thoughts for days and I am relieved that this part of your DH’s life is over. Given the level of strain you have been suffering for so long, it will take a long while to gain a proper perspective, but a long marriage to such a splendid man will stay with you and your daughters too will remember their father as a whole person and not as the invalid he became.

With a probably similar path before me I have learned a lot from you, Luckygirl, and thank you for sharing it with us.

starshine Sun 02-Feb-20 12:21:07

Thinking of you and your family Luckygirl.

Marydoll Sun 02-Feb-20 12:17:25

Oh so sorry, wrong thread. So inappropriate.

Marydoll Sun 02-Feb-20 12:16:51

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Marydoll Sun 02-Feb-20 12:13:32

We all share your sadness, Lucky, he is at peace now.
You also need to find peace, after a long and sad journey.
My condolences. ?

hazel93 Sun 02-Feb-20 12:11:37

There are no words , simply my condolences.
Stay strong. x

MawB Sun 02-Feb-20 12:11:30

flowers flowers to you all, Luckygirl
There are broad shoulders here for you whenever you feel you need one xxx

Alishka Sun 02-Feb-20 12:10:02

flowers for you all.Sincere condolences.

Fennel Sun 02-Feb-20 12:08:48

Very sad news, Luckygirl, but as you say he's now at peace.
Condolences to you and the family x.

Kalu Sun 02-Feb-20 12:08:22

aggie ?

Kalu Sun 02-Feb-20 12:07:23

So sorry to hear your sad news Lucky A relief from pain for your DH but such a sad loss for you. Wishing you strength for the days ahead. Take care of yourself?

aggie Sun 02-Feb-20 12:06:19

Oh lucky , I do understand the mix of relief and sadness , the empty feeling and wondering how the word keeps going ! I am only now able to bring my OH into the conversation without choking up .
It never goes away , but it becomes easier to bear xxxx

Mamie Sun 02-Feb-20 12:02:11

My condolences to you and your family Luckygirl. Take care of yourself. ?

timetogo2016 Sun 02-Feb-20 11:59:42

Can only send my love and prayers to you Luckygirl.
I hope he finds peace very soon for both of you.

BlueSky Sun 02-Feb-20 11:59:41

Thinking of you Luckygirl sadly we will all have to go through this loss. flowers