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Anxiety anyone? Mine is off the scale at the moment

(21 Posts)
Pollyj Sat 25-Jan-20 14:10:03

I've had anxiety for years, but I have been pretty good the last few except when it comes to health scares, when it goes insane and I am convinced whatever it is, is terminal. It gets so bad I cannot sit still, eat or sleep. Truly torture.

Mum died recently and I've been amazed how well I've done, but now both my daughters have things going on. One is being investigated and though she tells me all the 'nasty' tests are clear, they don't know what it is and she is waiting for an appointment with another department now. Poor thing has one thing after another with her health and wellbeing.

Second daughter has had all sorts of business with her reproductive system as many of us do. She too has had all the tests going, including two cervical biopsies and internals etc. and they are happy nothing bad is going on. Now she is bleeding after sex though - she thinks she now has a senstive cervix perhaps after all the investigations. Also waiting for yet another appointment to find out what is going on.

Meanwhile, I sit here convinced I am going to lose both of them, because awful things have been missed. I am so anxious I can't think what to do with myself. I know fears and thoughts are not facts, but the anxiety tells me I already know the worst.

I know no one can fly over and diagnose my girls, but the waiting is torture. Just wanted to check in with any other anxiety sufferers and commiserate or whatever.

I just really want some peace. For everything to be 'ok' just for a little while.

Thanks for listening.

KatyK Sat 25-Jan-20 14:38:18

Hello. I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. It must be so hard for you. I suffer with terrible anxiety after some awful things in my life so I think I know how you feel. There are a few threads on here re anxiety. Try The Black Dog Gang. I'm sure others will come forward with more advice than I can give. Maybe your GP can help. I assure you you are not alone. Sending good wishes.

KatyK Sat 25-Jan-20 14:43:55

The Black Dog Gang is on the Health forum.

paddyanne Sat 25-Jan-20 14:49:07

Ilive this scenario daily ,my lovely daughter has multiple healthe issues that have meant she is confined to bed most of the time.She has 3 children and she worries about them and in turn calls me to download her worries.I've known 2 people with the same illnesses she has who have died in the past two years and every time the phone goes ,especially late at night my BP goes through the roof.
If your girls have had good feedback from the tests I'd say try to relax,use meditation or mindfulness and speak to your gp about any groups in your area that might help.Its the most difficult thing in life to watch someone you know go through stuff like this but even if it is bad news there will be help available and a cure on the horizon.
What you need to remember is if they sense your anxiety they'll worry about you and its a viscious circle so help yourself forst and then you'll be able to support them when/if they need you.Good luck to you all and a wish for a better time ahead for you .

Chestnut Sat 25-Jan-20 14:57:39

Anyone would worry with medical issues but somehow you have to stop worries taking you over completely. This is all psychological, like people who can't sleep because their brains are racing. There are techniques for that, in other words clearing your mind of negative worries when you lie down to sleep. I know very little about depression etc. but there are surely ways of taking back control and not letting your imagination run away with you. Smokers, alcoholics and druggies have to learn how to control their cravings when they give up. It's all about harnessing the subconscious mind which is the one controlling you. The conscious mind knows what to do and how to do it, but is not in control! Maybe there are books or a local therapist who can help you take control of your anxieties.

silverlining48 Sat 25-Jan-20 16:23:35

My condolences on the death of your mum and at the same time having both daughters being investigated is very stressful for anyone, never mind a worrier. I am glad results so far are clear, hang onto that.
You might talk to your gp, there may be groups or medication which might help you get through this difficult period.
It will pass, honestly, but being a worrier myself I do understand.

Hetty58 Sat 25-Jan-20 16:36:26

I'm not a worrier (despite a few horrendous life experiences). My friend is, though, and she finds yoga and meditation help her.

BlueSky Sat 25-Jan-20 17:06:58

Pollyj same here I suffer badly from anxiety. When it comes to health we find that at our age, we not only worry about ourselves, but our partners, adult children, grandchildren and possibly we still have elderly parents. So it's not surprising we go on overdrive. As recently I've become depressed as well I plan to finally see my GP about it all. I don't think they'll have a magic wand but should be able to help.

KatyK Sat 25-Jan-20 17:09:12

Please don't let your anxiety get out of hand. I did and my life became intolerable.

Pollyj Sat 25-Jan-20 17:09:23

Thank you all for replying. It's good to read and I will look up the black dog gang. x

BlueSky Sat 25-Jan-20 17:13:41

KatyK thanks

KatyK Sat 25-Jan-20 17:17:44

Oh thank you BlueSky I didn't mean to make it about me. Just advising Polly to get help.

MerylStreep Sat 25-Jan-20 17:30:36

Please look at some deep breathing techniques on YouTube.

BlueSky Sat 25-Jan-20 17:45:07

KatyK we have the blood pressure, the anxiety and the Catholic Church in common, so I know what you mean!

KatyK Sat 25-Jan-20 17:46:25

Yes Bluesky. Kindred spirits. smile

Pollyj Sat 25-Jan-20 20:10:19


Doodle Sat 25-Jan-20 20:23:29

Depression and anxiety are not necessarily the same thing. I would not say I suffer from depression but I would say I worry a lot and am anxious about my family.
pollyj I can work myself up into a frenzy worrying about things. Perhaps you could try a relaxation app something like Calm which teaches you to concentrate on something other than your worries. Some of us are cup half full people, others like me are cup half empty. Always worrying about something. Hopefully your daughters will be ok.

GrandmainOz Sat 25-Jan-20 20:47:46

I know just how you feel. Talk to someone you trust, if you can. It does help to get perspective I find. I always find that worrying about our children is 100 times worse than worrying about ourselves or anyone else flowers

ExperiencedNotOld Sat 25-Jan-20 21:06:32

I absolutely agree with Chestnut. I occasionally suffer with unfocused anxiety. I’ve learnt that not allowing myself some quiet and solitude is what starts it off. I now recognise the voice in me that’s crying out for peace and ‘treat’ my own symptoms by simply taking the time I need. I’ve also found a session of reiki resets me. Why and how I don’t know, it just works.

Yogadatti Mon 27-Jan-20 11:54:31

My anxiety and depression are always off the scale. It gets worse and worse and worse, I have tried everything I can and it never gets better. And GP’s are useless, at least all the ones I have come into contact with are anyway. I can’t take medication because of other health issues. It is difficult to get an adequate counsellor and even if you pay a fortune they are
ineffectual. I can’t exercise cos of chronic pain. There is NO medication for the type of chronic pain I have. I have a husband I do not like and probably never did but was too scared to leave. I have health anxiety, social anxiety, life anxiety. I have tried meditation etc. nothing works.... I actually envy you people who suffer from occasional anxiety , occasional depression, and occasional panic attacks. I have them 24x7.

grannysue05 Mon 27-Jan-20 13:28:21

Just a thought Pollyj .... I am very fortunate in that I do not have depression but do get very anxious from time to time.
I have found that the Homeopathic medicine Argent Nitricum (or Arg. Nit. ) taken three times daily really calms the nerves and directs thoughts to positive ones.
You can find it at Holland & B or online at Helios Pharmacy. Ask for potency 200C.
There is also Rescue Remedy which can be carried in the handbag for when you are out and about.