I wish I’d known that Hetty, when my Dad died. My mother was very upset that Dad had to have a post mortem, but it was presented to us as it had to happen. He had been in hospital for one week following a serious ‘heart event’ and then sent home for a week. He then fell and was readmitted to hospital, but developed an infection. It wasn’t known whether the infection or the heart failure killed him. To us it didn’t matter which it was, he was old and worn out, poor old man. I wish I could have saved my mother the additional distress, if only I’d known we could say no, we weren’t asked for permission.