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Hypothetical question

(17 Posts)
ninathenana Sun 23-Feb-20 16:16:07

How would you feel/have felt if your husband made an appointment with a doctor to discuss a vasectomy without even mentioning it to you ?

GrannyLaine Sun 23-Feb-20 16:18:12

In a word, murderous.

Nortsat46 Sun 23-Feb-20 16:20:26

I would wonder why he had done that.
Perhaps he wanted to get all the facts first and then discuss it ...

AGAA4 Sun 23-Feb-20 16:25:52

I would feel hurt that such an important issue hadn't been discussed with me first.

TrendyNannie6 Sun 23-Feb-20 16:36:21

I would be hurt to think he hadn’t spoken to me about it before going to the dr for facts, but I’d think well maybe he wanted to get all the facts first,

Doodledog Sun 23-Feb-20 16:46:16

An appointment to discuss it would be fine by me, but I wouldn't be happy if he went ahead and had it done without speaking to me. (Not that it would make much difference now - my childbearing days are over!)

Beechnut Sun 23-Feb-20 16:50:20


kittylester Sun 23-Feb-20 17:26:15

Well, after 5 children I would be relieved! grin

But, I dont expect that is why you are asking, nina! Bloody livid!!

suziewoozie Sun 23-Feb-20 17:26:39

I think it would firstly depend on whether I was still able to conceive. If I was past that, he wouldn’t be long for this world.

BlueSky Sun 23-Feb-20 18:02:48

How would you know about it unless your DH told you? If it was just for him to have all the facts beforehand OK, as long as he discussed it with you before deciding. If I was past childbearing age I would be very suspicious in fact divorce papers!

GagaJo Sun 23-Feb-20 18:04:10

If it is a younger person, it sounds as if EITHER it is being done for nefarious reasons, such as another woman. OR because his wife may want more children and this is his covert way to avoid having more, without any disagreement.

Lucca Sun 23-Feb-20 18:09:00

Can’t imagine a scenario where this would happen? If you know about it then it has been mentioned surely or am I missing something.

BradfordLass73 Mon 24-Feb-20 07:23:57

It wouldn't bother me because my husband always liked to look into things and do a bit of research before he discussed any possibility.

He said, 'No point in discussing it until I have all the facts, is there?'

Fair enough.

janeainsworth Mon 24-Feb-20 07:38:22

I agree that a fact-finding exercise isn’t anything to get het-up about. If I’d ever contemplated being sterilised, I‘d have wanted to find out the pros and cons before bringing the issue to the table, so to speak.

In practice, I think it’s usual for the surgeon to gain the written and informed consent of a man’s partner before carrying out a vasectomy.

But we all believe in ‘Women’s bodies, women’s choice’ don’t we?
Surely the same applies to men?

Riverwalk Mon 24-Feb-20 08:01:01

I'm in full agreement with jane.

The man concerned could have just wanted the facts before discussing things with partner.

M0nica Mon 24-Feb-20 19:47:14

Turn it round. How would he feel if you went out and had yourself sterilised without telling him?

harrigran Tue 25-Feb-20 09:38:48

Probably a fact finding mission, don't you have to have your spouse's signature on the form ? I know that a DH has to sign the consent form for his wife to be sterilised.