Are we now expecting to have mental health problems?

Well done for being brave. I wonder if people could share positive information of services they have used, any little bit of information they have found helpful and so on. I think maybe HQ could oversee this?

anxietyuk, seems good to me. There is a human being on the end of the line who will offer help.

Thank you all for your responses. I had wondered how my post would be received and regretted it almost as soon as I had posted it. I had expected to be shot down in flames and was so terrified that i decided not to look and never go on gransnet again. I am glad i changed my mind. So many of you have such sad stories. I hope you have found sharing them cathartic. My own family has not been safe from mental health issues. My DH has been on prozac for many years. It is the only way he keeps his life from being just black and white with no shades of grey inbetween. As for my DD. I would sell my soul to take away her mental anguish. So i really truly did not want to disparage anyone who is suffering. I just honestly worry that the lines are becoming blurred between "being depressed" and "suffering from depression ". I hope you understand. And thank you again.

I can understand where you are coming from , but a lot of Mental illness is far more than just feeling down or negative. The modern world is a double edged sword. It is not kept in the dark and hidden away so much now, which is a truly good thing, but there are far more pressures on people, particularly young people, that exacerbate it.

Lizbethann55, I'd rephrase your question as 'Are we now expecting 'normal' to be happy, fulfilled and content?'

Maybe people's expectations of life have changed? Perhaps they more readily assume that everyone else is having a fantastic time so there must be something 'wrong' with them?

Or could it just be that now it's acceptable to voice negative feelings, it's OK to discuss mental health without fear of being stigmatised?

At least people can talk about it now there's less pressure to appear 'normal' however you really feel.

paddyanne I am so sorry for your daughter, I do understand, being judged because of an illness is cruel , your
daughter ,like me , has been driven into the phobia , it’s so
wrong. I hope she is getting support to go out x

Annie my daughter has agrophobia ,her GP believes its because she doen't want to meet anyone who knew her before her illness took hold of her.Now she can barely walk is several stone heavier than she was and has difficuly holding anything because of a problem with her hands.Its easier if she's taken somewhere in the car where she doens't know anyone ,then she doesn't have to worry about them judging her

I will quote Dorothy Rowe again

‘Unhappiness is awful but it is not being depressed’

I am unhappy but I know I am not depressed. I am so
thankful that mental illness is now being talked about and for those who spoke on this thread of their or a family members
illness.

I have agoraphobia, I have thought of my agoraphobia as self
inflicted but this thread has caused me to rethink, I am a victim of people’s attitude to my darling daughters mental
health illness. I chose to withdraw from the criticism and judgement of her illness and death , this led to the agoraphobia.

A brave question Lizbethann55. Many things contribute to the apparent increase in mental health issues, including, quite possibly, an increase in mental health issues. However, the reporting of them and our knowledge and ability to diagnose them has also increased. I imagine the days when a coroner would, if possible, find another way to describe a suicide makes a difference too.

We should take the challenges suffered by mental illness seriously but self-diagnosis is never a diagnosis - or helpful - and people are very lax when they describe their mood. Feeling depressed often comes a long way off being depressed.

Thank you Smileless it is. I am sorry to read your post from last night. We all do our best, that is all we can do x

That's wonderful lavenderzen and must be a huge relief.

There are so many different types of mental health illnesses and the appropriate care is crucial. I mentioned my daughter on here in my post of the 2nd March and will elaborate. Only when my daughter moved house, and therefore her clinical team changed, same hospital though, given a new psychiatrist with new CPN's was progress made. I am eternally grateful that someone with a different point of view became involved. My daughter was taken into hospital and was reviewed and observed for months. She is now in a place where she receives the appropriate care and is safe. I am kept up to date with her progress through the wonderful CPN allocated to her. I am so thankful for the care she is being given.

Thank you Annie. I'm sorry about your sisters, we miss our siblings especially when we used to be close.

I did try to talk my brother out of moving in with mum, and my mum not to have him move in. With both of them having problems I feared that living under the same roof would escalate the issues and unfortunately I was right.

My brother was always her favourite so perhaps they are happy in their own way.

For what it’s worth, I think there are different kinds of depression and like other illnesses, depression can manifest itself in different ways .

I am a miserable person. Always have been. I try to joke my way out of difficult situations which often makes things feel worse.

I sometimes catch myself laughing and then think “what on earth are you laughing at you silly cow” (I often say the words out loud too). I look in the mirror to put some lipstick on or whatever and then say “why on Earth Are you putting lipstick on? You are so ugly it’s not as though it will make a difference” I pull a horrible face (like a child might do) and step away.

I was brought up to think that I am not special in anyway and have always suffered from very low self esteem . Circumstances have mostly got in the way of my life and I find it very hard to see the light at the end of any tunnel.

Now I really don’t think I am depressed. I’m just the way I am because of who I am (if that makes any sense).

When someone is hurting they lash out feeling no one understands them. Be kind.
This thread has improved my understanding of mental illness. Thanks to everyone brave enough to speak out.

Not sorry for your nasty sarcasm then Annie? Ah well, I will keep plodding on.

Smileless I am so sorry. Mental illnesses can cause much
distress for families, my three sisters who live in the same town as me cut me off three years ago, like you and your
brother we were always very close

Please do not resort to sarcasm. I am not a mental health professional. I am a survivor of abuse and a person who lives with depression. I don't know if that makes me any more worth listening to? I feel intervention, support and therapy can go hand in hand with developing our own resilience. Nobody is saying it is easy. We must try to grab the life buoy and swim.

Sally....similar for me. I can go out as long as my DH is with me but never alone. We go camping a lot because my symptoms improve when we're in a field in the middle of nowhere with only a few strangers around. Odd but that's how it works for me. For those who have never been a prisoner you can't imagine the sense of freedom you feel when you can walk from the van to the shower block on your own. It may only be 20 feet or so away but the independence is amazing.

The sadness and bravery on here is overwhelming. It should make every one of us stop and think, just for a moment, what strength and courage it takes for some of us to just cross the threshold of our homes and go outside. Like fighting an invisible battle every single day.

You're all very brave sharing your stories here, they're moving and humbling.

I've lived with mental health issues, not my own but my mum's. She hasn't been out of the house for 3 years now. My brother who looks after her has his own problems. He's a hoarder and the house is in such a mess that he wont let me in so I haven't seen him or my mum for sometime now.

Last summer one of the neighbours 'phoned me because my mum was panicking as my brother had gone out and she didn't know where, thought he'd been gone for a couple of days and wasn't coming back.

I drove over and couldn't believe the terrible state the house and my mum were in. I 'phoned my brother and he was furious that I was even there.

Out of sheer desperation I contacted social services because I couldn't stand the thought of my mum living in what I can only describe as squalor.

I know they went to see them but after several attempts to find out what if anything they could do to help, and getting no where I stopped calling them. I think he must have told them not to give me any information.

My brother refuses to take my calls or respond to emails. I don't think he'll ever forgive me for interfering but I didn't know what else to do.

I tried so hard for years to help them but nothing I said or did made any difference and all I've managed to accomplish is the destruction of my relationship with my brother who I was very close too.

For the people on here who have been brave enough to tell their stories. No one knows unless they have walked in those shoes. Bless you all xxxx

I have no family here, my grandchildren live 50 miles away ,

Sally it isn’t unusual to cope better away from the home, no
bad memories as we have stepping out our front door.

Similar for me vampirequeen, except I can go out with my husband, oldest daughter, and grandchildren. I can only use the phone to talk to my son. I used to be able to travel around the world on my own. Now if I'm out, I have to take medication (my 'people' pills), to reduce the panic symptoms. Weirdly, I can cope better abroad than here.

I think a part of the difficulty for people who don't understand mental illness is that in most cases its an illness that can't be seen. Yes if anyone looks at me carefully they might notice that I'm shaking, my bottom lip is wobbling, and I can't quite focus. But on the whole it is invisible.

Sometimes when I feel I would like to go out and don't want to engage with anybody I'd like to wear one of those all-enveloping muslim black habits that cover the face and have a little grid for the eyes.

Same for me vampirequeen but 3 years for me , perhaps
Greymar will explain how