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Black Dog Gang 6

(1001 Posts)
Doodle Wed 08-Apr-20 22:02:31

Well we have reached another 1000 posts so time for another thread. Welcome.

Nonnie Wed 17-Jun-20 10:19:03

Our past, therapy, all so difficult and different for each person. Individual tragedy or a group tragedy, one gets more support than the other. No idea of the best way to cope.

I wonder if I were to get therapy for my childhood issues whether I would cope or whether things I have blanked out of my life are better left alone. Just musing again, no opinion.

Positives? I've planned what to do today which is better than a few weeks back and I've been able to help DS with something which needed discussing.

Anniebach Wed 17-Jun-20 10:05:06

Hi all x

Positives ?

Doodle Tue 16-Jun-20 22:56:20

annie I’m sure you’re right about the therapy. I suppose that’s how they help by understanding what is going on in our minds.
Hope you had a better day today.
Hope everyone else is ok.
Sleep well all x

Anniebach Tue 16-Jun-20 17:33:28

I didn’t explain very well, I was trying to explain that I was a mixture of an adult, a teenager who refused to move from there with my parents, a little girl who played hopscotch on the road. An adult who watched her father sob because he had
worked in that pit and shovelled the muck into trams to be tipped .

We don’t lose the child, the teenager because we are adult.
Anyone having or thinking of having therapy, don’t keep secrets, emotions etc hidden , if you do, therapy doesn’t help. X

Doodle Tue 16-Jun-20 16:08:14

annie that terrible tragedy had such an impact on you. Sorry you had a bad day yesterday after hearing the forecast.
It’s good that the therapy helped you understand some of your feelings and finding out why you feel as you do. Hope you have a better day today.
Take care all x

Joce345 Tue 16-Jun-20 13:13:00

Annie you are so brave.. how does someone ever learn to deal with so much sorrow..
you are so strong a lovely lady..

Nonnie nurse is still poorly... hope she picks up soon...

Hope everyone’s doing ok today hugs to all

Anniebach Tue 16-Jun-20 11:21:03

Hi all, sorry I couldn’t join the conversation yesterday x

We never lose ‘the child within’ no matter our age now, things
which happened in the past stay with us . It took many years
for me to understand why snow sent me into panic, forecast
gave ‘snow in Scotland’ sent me into a panic in Wales. No white bed linen, dark cream wedding gown, definitely not
white.

Had therapy , snow comes from the sky, comes down on us, it
could cover my house, couldn’t get out, no one could dig me
out = I stood in the street where I grew up, in the village which
was the safest place in the world, much love, much laughter, and saw parents and grandparents trying to dig out their children from sludge which had descended from above. Saw an uncle , the village policeman carrying a little body , he use
to carry me.

So it all jumbled together, no such thing as a safe place.

It helped me having therapy , I couldn’t blank out things I had
blanked out for years.

Nonnie Tue 16-Jun-20 09:51:46

Doodle yes, I was in isolation for a very long time. Strange though that I seem to have locked much of it away and there is a lot I can't remember. Saw a black and white programme about it a few years back which brought back some memories but no matter how hard I try I cannot remember anything about going back to school. Its a complete blank for a couple of years.

Enjoyed a little sun yesterday and finished staining some of the garden furniture, just one more coat on one bench and all done. Too wet today.

How is the nurse? Still thinking about Why, hope it is all going well for her.

Doodle Mon 15-Jun-20 21:16:40

Good evening all. I have had a lovely day. DS phoned this morning and asked if we would like to pop over for a garden visit which we did tonight. It rained the whole time we were there but it didn’t matter just so lovely to see them including DGS with smiles on their faces. Hoping to see other son in the garden this week too.
nonnie how are you today? Did you really not see your family for a long time when you were 7. That must have been an awfully traumatic experience for you. It sounds as though your DIL was a big help and things are better for you now.
joce I think depression is worse because it takes all the joy out of things.
rafichagran how are you getting on now? Your garden and the birdsong sound tranquil.
lavender yes we are still going for walks. Not at the weekends when it’s busy but during the week we do. Hope the shopping trip went ok.
Oh annie your poor hands. I can well understand your desire to finish your cross stitch for your granddaughter. Hope the pain eases soon. I’m sure she will be thrilled with the gift. Hope your hands feel better soon.

Anniebach Mon 15-Jun-20 20:27:47

Own fault, stitched too long yesterday, hsve splints on, wanted
to finish it for granddaughter birthday , had to get it framed,
finished it, framer not working this week , grrrrrrrrrr ?

lavenderzen Mon 15-Jun-20 20:20:42

Hope you soon feel better Annie, sending love.

Nice to see you rafichagran hope you are ok.

Have a peaceful evening everyone, take care, stay safe, and sleep well. God bless xx

rafichagran Mon 15-Jun-20 18:57:14

Good Evening everyone. *Annie how are your hands now?

Anniebach Mon 15-Jun-20 12:12:22

Hi x hurt hands, be back x

Nonnie Mon 15-Jun-20 10:37:20

Just musing on anxiety and depression. I can only speak for my own experience so here goes. I knew there was an issue in my life which was causing me stress, I knew it was difficult but thought I had it separated from the rest of my life. I was depressed and anxious all the time and kept looking back on my life for reasons. I always think things are my fault and that if I had done something different the outcome would have been different. It took one of my DiLs to show me there was nothing I could have done.

When that issue was solved I felt so much better and it affected my whole life, yes I still get anxious but don't we all? I woke in the middle of the night last night with that awful feeling of impending doom. The difference is that I can now cope with it. What I am trying so hard to say is that one thing can affect us far more than we realise, we think it is just part of our lives but underneath it has taken over everything. I hope that makes sense?

No, I'm not totally 'well' now but lifting that one weight has made a big difference and I am now more motivated and coping far better.

lavenderzen Mon 15-Jun-20 10:05:45

Hello everyone
Hope you are all ok.
Annie how are you? xx Hope you are ok. Your description of the beautiful mountains is lovely, I can understand your connection to them.
Joyce Hope you are ok. I am so sorry to hear about your nurse. I will pray for her.
Doodle how are you? Hope you are managing to get out for a walk.
It is very misty up here in the hills this morning but I think there will be sunshine later.
I will attempt to go to the store today later, I need some food for four legged friend and other bits and pieces. Deep breaths before I go in!
Take care, stay safe, lots of love to you all xx

rafichagran Sun 14-Jun-20 15:31:25

I would say I have general anxiety and depression, bought on sometimes by overthinking.
Joce sorry about your nurse. I wish her well.
Annie You have been through alot so I am not surprised you have PTSD, I think it is credit to you though that you do not seem bitter about it, and you care for others.
I am typing this on my phone in the garden, surrounded by birdsong. It is peaceful and relaxing and it simetimes reduces the anxiety.
Doodle I am sorry your Grandson has this horrible anxiety and hope he us getting help.

Joce345 Sun 14-Jun-20 14:03:24

I have health anxiety and depression, don’t know which I think is the worst...

I wonder Doodle why what makes one feel like we do and another sail along...
I don’t wish it on anyone just wonder why....

Nonnie Sun 14-Jun-20 14:00:16

Joce don't normally come on twice a day, think I was meant to read your post. Prayed for your young nurse, will include her again tonight.

Doodle who knows what makes us who we are now? Not so sure it would help if we did know. All the current talk about young people being psychologically damaged by the pandemic makes me wonder what more than a year off school at the age of 7, months in isolation and not seeing any of my family, with no one explaining anything has done to me! I remember years ago saying to someone that whatever it was didn't harm me and she replied 'How do you know?' There we go, how do any of us know whether we are damaged or not?

Doodle Sun 14-Jun-20 13:19:29

annie I just have anxiety centred mainly about worry for my family. DGS I believe has general anxiety. As you say, a large umbrella including many mental health problems. Not surprising I suppose. Our body can provide many heath situations, cancer, stroke, blood pressure etc. A complex organ like the brain is likely to have many problems too. Why do we feel as we do? Why do some appear to sail through life without care whilst others worry every day? I have always been a worrier. For as long as I remember even as a young child. I was certainly part of a loving family so nothing to do with that I just remember being scared of going places on my own. I hated school though nothing bad ever happened to me. I have never been outgoing.
I think your PTSD is understandable though annie with all that you have been through and perhaps the phobia too as a follow on from that. What caused me to be like I am I have no idea.

Anniebach Sun 14-Jun-20 12:53:40

Hi all x

nonnie it’s a positive that you are coping x

How is everyone?

Thinking of anxiety this morning , quite a large umbrella isn’t it?

General Anxiety. Social Anxiety. Phobias. OCD. PTSD.

I have a phobia ,and PTSD.

Any thoughts on this ?

Joce345 Sun 14-Jun-20 12:52:56

Morning all hope everyones ok today.
Just had a text.. the young nurse is very poorly..
please can we all pray for her speedy recovery.

Nonnie Sun 14-Jun-20 11:35:41

rafichagran. Good to hear perhaps you can look at other people and how good/bad they are at their jobs and recognise your own worth?

Mindfulness is good for some but not for all so give it a go and see if it works for you.

Doodle makes a good point.

Beginning to feel in limbo and would like to get on with my life but I'm coping and still grateful that my situation is better than many.

Anniebach Sat 13-Jun-20 21:49:05

Difficult I know but relaxation needs to be practiced, learning
to release tension.

Recently someone spoke of mindfulness, anyone tried it ?

Doodle Sat 13-Jun-20 21:43:53

rafichagran if you are ok to answer, have you been on your meds a long time? Is it possible that either you haven’t been on them long enough for them to take effect or that you’ve been on them a long time and perhaps need a review with your GP if they’re not working as they should. If the anxiety is worse at night or when relaxing it’s because your mind goes straight to what is troubling you and you are dwelling on it and turning it over in your mind. It’s what we all do when we have a problem or a worry. Is there an HR person at work that you could talk to about your work related issues? Hope you sleep better tonight.
annie hope you’ve had a day of cross stich, reading and games without your unmentionables. ?
nonnie and joce hope you have a good weekend. You could try some more quilting Joce ?
Sleep well all x

rafichagran Sat 13-Jun-20 18:05:50

Nonnie To be totally fair I have not been blamed for many things, I can stick up for myself. I just have this terrible anxiety, and the feeling everything is going wrong.
I do take medication and sometimes I am ok, but if I could stave of the anxiety I think I would feel alot better.
I am glad things have improved for you, and I have noticed that when I am busy I still feel anxious but It is better. The anxiety seems worse in the middle if the night or when I am just relaxing.
I hope every poster on here has a pleasant evening and things get better, or continue to improve.

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