BLACK DOG 8

annie you and MT can share today and do whatever simply feels right, cry or laugh but together.

Chrissey good luck with the acupuncturist, hope it does you good.

BlueSky glad the boiler is working. Sorry I don't know what age, I probably did at the time. Regarding the pandemic it is 70 or underlying conditions but could be different with the utilities. Ask and see what they say.

Lavender same here wouldn't make any difference to us. Don't think we will go into tier (tear?) 3 but anything is possible.

Doodle sounds like you have your own health to worry about as well as DH.

Bad night again last night so my only positive is that my study overlooks the garden and the colours are beautiful. Must take a few minutes to get closer to it.

Nonnie sorry you had another bad night. Is it insomnia or an active mind that’s keeping you awake?
You have been feeling so much better recently. Try and remember that.
lavender we have a lovely sunny day today. So much better than yesterday. Do you not go out at all? Or just not visit anyone?
Chrissy I hope the acupuncture helps you. I like gentle tv dramas. The Indian Doctor fits the bill very well.?
Blusky that is good news. Nice and cosy again ? hope you have a good day.
Hope your MT is with you today Annie. Enjoy the visit.
Have a good day all ?

Afternoon everyone
BlueSky I’m glad that your boiler is working now.
Nonnie That certainly makes you think that the way we look at others’ lives and the way we look at our own are totally different. Myself, my DH and our 2 DDs were involved in a bad car accident 30 years ago and were taken to hospital by ambulance. In the accident our dog somehow got out of the car and started running down the motorway. When we finally got put on wards I was so traumatised and couldn’t stop crying. The sister came and sat on my bed and I said to her that there must have been families who hadn’t come out of accidents as well as we had (we only had minor injuries) and she said that was true. I said I couldn’t get over losing our dog and that I felt that was wrong as we could have lost our DDs. She said to me that I shouldn’t look at things that way as, if we had lost our DDs, I wouldn’t be giving the loss of our dog much thought. She said that we can’t compare our suffering and grief with other people, every case is different.
I’m sorry to hear that you had a bad night. I hope you manage to get out in your garden for a while.
Annie It must be lovely to be seeing your mini tornado.
Acupuncturist appointment went really well. She was able to tell that the energy around my liver and kidneys was very unbalanced. It’s amazing that they can tell where the problems are just by putting needles in your body. She already knows what I’m like by the telephone consultation we had yesterday. When she told me about my liver and kidneys she said ‘Don’t go googling problems with liver and kidney problems when you get home. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with how they’re functioning, I’m talking about the energy around them’.
Still no mammogram results ?
Have a good afternoon everyone x

Thanks Doodle Hi to everyone else x

Hello everyone.
Doodle that was a nice quick blood test and result . Hope you get your meds soon and that they are helpful for you.
Lavender- hope it’s dried up for you today. It’s such a lovely day here today and was warm enough to walk without a coat.
Chrissy - Netflix is great if you like films and series and we watch it a lot.. It is on subscription with several different prices but is not very expensive. There is no contract so you can stop when you want. Have a look on Google. What a wise nurse you had all those years ago- it must have been a terrible experience for you and your family. Your acupuncturist sounds like she already understands you well.
Nonnie sorry you had a bad night - you must feel very tired today. Just rest today and enjoy your garden . Tonight will hopefully be better.
Annie hope you are having a lovely day with MT.
Take care allxxx

Evening all I’m really struggling at the minute, not got much to say.
Can anyone advise me which would be the best Claire Weekes
To read for heath anxiety please, thank you..

Evening all x
Nonnie thanks for that beautiful piece of writing, you, Annie and others on here can still be sympathetic to others. Sorry you had a bad night, hope you took it easy and had a refreshing cat nap.
Joce sorry you are struggling with a bout of health anxiety, it’s a nasty beast, ruined many years of my life.
Hope you’ll all have a good evening x

Just calling in to wish you all a peaceful evening and a good nights sleep. Hope you are all coping and not wobbling too much.
Take care, stay safe and love to all xx

chrissy that was a nasty accident. I am sorry about your dog.
Pleased you felt the acupuncturist was understanding. Hope the treatment helps.
Scaredycat sounds as though you had nice weather today and an enjoyable walk.
Joce sorry you’re on a bit of a low at the moment. Annie knows a bit about Claire Weeks I think. Hope all the family are ok and nothing bad is happening.
Annie hope you had a good day with your mini tornado (does she know you call her that ?)
Bluesky and Lavender hope you are both ok.
Sleep well all. x

Evening everyone
Thanks Scaredycat I’ll look into Netflix. To be honest I’ve red up on it before but didn’t really understand it.
Joce I’m so sorry that you’re struggling badly. I don’t think I’ve read any of Claire Weekes’s books so can’t advise I’m afraid. I hope that someone here can advise you on that. I hope that you’re feeling better soon.
Thanks Doodle
Hop everyone else is doing ok.
Sleep well everyone x

All the kind messages about sleep wish I knew why I have insomnia! It is a matter of degree, some night I only wake a couple of times and go back to sleep easily but more often it is worse than that. Last night was great, only woke once and got back to sleep easily then slept late.

Chrissy what a wise sister. Glad the acupuncture was good. Too soon to expect the mammogram result.

Joce sorry you are in such a bad way at the moment. Please sound of here if it helps and know that we are all here for you.

Not sure this is positive, maybe hopeful is a better word. We have been in some sort of lockdown for 8 months, April is less than 6 months away and there is talk of a vaccine early in 2021.

I went out for a walk this morning and ventured into the little local post office to buy a stamp to send a card to Europe, planned ahead and bought all my foreign stamps for Christmas!

Good afternoon all
Joce - so sorry you are feeling low. I have the Claire Weekes book called Self Help for Your Nerves which I dip into sometimes. It’s not specifically about HA but is easy to read and helpful.
Nonnie- my sleep pattern is very erratic but it’s the early waking I that wears me out. Good idea about the foreign stamps as the PO will get very busy later on. Hope you had a nice walk too. Today has been busy and a bit stressy. Started with an early Tescos delivery and then the Alarm man came to do a service on it and we finished by going into town to pick up something we had ordered a few weeks before. All these things which were fine before COVID are very anxiety inducing for me now because of other people and I know I,m not alone.But I persevered and even had a coffee which I managed not to spill despite the shaking! Never mind done it now and glad I didn,t chicken out.
I hope all of you enjoy the rest of the dayxxx

Evening all x No Annie? I hope she’s all right and all the others regulars, seems very quiet on here today.
Feeling ‘flat’ but I guess that’s how we are all feeling at the moment, after we thought it was getting better, lots of places now on stricter restrictions or lockdown. Nothing we can do so we can just as well go with it.
Changed walk today, we are lucky we can do that, love watching the dogs, really feel I need one.
Relaxing in front of the tv now and will end up having my usual cat nap.
Have a good night all

Hi friends just been trying to catch up on your posts.
There are some really strong people here. Coping with so many heartbreaking stories being told. My heart goes out to you all. You are so brave.
I have had a fair share myself over the years but find it hard to share.
Annie have been thinking of you this week. X
I was doing okish and then this afternoon I think I had a panic attack. Maybe someone could tell me if that was what it was.
I felt my middle going wee bit fast as was my pulse, I was a bit cold and then I started overthinking and the whatifs appeared. I had a cup of tea and just tried to concentrate on my breathing. It did pass although it has left the whatifs lingering. Sorry if I am being a bit selfish mentioning this as everyone has their own story to tell.
I am now sitting with my feet up and going to catch up on your posts.
Take care, God Bless all. Xx
So glad I am part of this friendship group.
for all.

Hello everyone
Thinking of you Annie xx.
Good to see you Flutterby, that reaction you had sounds horrible, I think we are all coping with so much at the moment, it could be a panic attack, someone on here will have more idea than me. I'm sorry you have troubles. Take care xx
Hope you are all doing ok.
Felt very down today, a lot of pain, I seem to have hurt my right hip somehow or other, don't know how. It will pass.
Take care everyone of you lovely people, have a peaceful evening and try to sleep well. Take care, stay safe and love to all xx

lavender sorry you’re in a lot of pain. Does it hurt when you lie down or only when moving around? Have you got any painkillers you could take tonight? Hope you sleep well too.
Flutterby sometimes things that hurt us are too personal or too painful to talk about. If I have a panic attack I get very hot.
Stomach churns and I start sweating. My panic attacks are usually brought on by whatiferies. My mind races and all sorts of disaster loom. It’s a most unpleasant feeling and you did well to calm yourself down with a cup of tea and try and think of something else.
Flutterby the whole point of this thread I think, is that people can come on and talk about how they feel to those who will listen with sympathy and understanding . You are not being selfish in any way. We all have different stories, different worries too on the whole but what we do understand is the effect these worries, whatever their cause, have on us in terms of depression, anxiety and fear. You did well today bear that in mind next time ?
Bluesky this latest round of lockdowns and worsening news doesn’t help does it. It is hard to be enthusiastic if you don’t feel there are things to look forward to. Many people have got dogs during the lockdown. Do you work? Would you be able to look after one? They are certainly good company.
scaredycat when you wake early in the morning, do you allow your mind to wander. Could you try listening to an audio book or music with headphones so that your mind doesn’t get the chance to start being active?
Well done for going and having coffee after a stressful sort of day. The more you keep doing these things the better. It makes it less of an ordeal next time.
Nonnie sometimes when I go to bed I know I will not sleep. My mind is racing on other things and I just can’t get it to go to sleep. My DH suffers from IBS. I don’t think he has slept through a whole night for years. He usually ends up walking round the lounge for an hour or so most nights. It is so annoying isn’t it when your body is tired but your mind won’t let you sleep.
Chrissy how are you feeling after your acupuncture? Hope you are trying to keep your mind off your worries.
Joce are you feeling any better today?
Annie hope your MT came to visit and you are now spic and span ?

Lavender thank you and you were right along came Doodle .
Doodle your words helped me so much. Having suffered with health anxiety and the Pandemic worries I did start to panic a bit with these feelings. They just seemed to come out of the blue and the more I focused on myself I think I was making it worse. if you know what I mean). So once again a very big thank you.
I have just been watching old Call the Midwife programmes on the iPlayer tonight.

God Bless. Xx

Hi all x

How is everyone ?

Morning all x Hi Annie are you all right? Did you see your granddaughter? Will you still be able to see her during Wales’ lockdown?
Doodle we are retired now so have plenty of time to look after a dog. All these virus restrictions got in the way of searching for one in rescue centres. But I can definitely see a dog in our life!
Raining but as they say there is no such thing as bad weather.
Have a pleasant or at least peaceful day x

Morning everyone
Nonnie I was a terrible insomniac until my psychiatrist prescribed amitriptyline for my depression. Not sure that it does anything for depression but definitely help me sleep. Glad you managed to get out and very wise to get your stamps, post offices are a nightmare nearer to Christmas.
Scaredycat I’m glad that you pushed yourself to go out. I agree that doing anything outside home is very daunting but all we can do is follow the guidelines and hope that others do the same.
BlueSky We are considering getting a dog. We couldn’t have one while we had our cat but she’s gone now. Pets are such a commitment so it needs a lot of thought.
Flutterby You’re not being selfish at all. As was said the other day, nobody’s problems are worse or better than other people’s, we all need support with how we are feeling. It does sound like you had a panic attack. I used to get them all the time and still get them occasionally particularly if I’m worried about something. You did the right thing in concentrating on your breathing, I find that difficult when I go into panic mode.
lavenderzen Sorry you had a bad day yesterday. I hope your hip feels better soon.
Doodle I like that word, whatifaries describes it perfectly. Once my thoughts start straying over to the whatifs they can snowball into something huge unless I can calm myself down. I’m doing my best to stop my mind running away with me but at the moment it’s very hard.
Trying not to think about the mammogram results, sometimes I can switch my mind to something else, sometimes I can’t. I’m staying over at my cousin’s tonight so hopefully it will be a nice evening.
I hope that Annie and Joce are ok. Love to everyone else x

Hi BlueSky x

I have missed everyone here, had a stressful few days not anxiety or depression related so didn’t post but would like to
give explanation.

Much sadness talking to friends from Aberfan on Wednesday,
then was told a nephew , I am very fond of him, he is a
haemophilic, horrible disorder, he has damaged joints from bleeds and now been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis,he
is so distressed and he does suffer with anxiety, he needed my
support.

Very long time friends , husband died from the virus, wife needed support, 62 years marriage, she has never spent a night alone in her life, funeral was yesterday , she needs my support.

Younger daughter waiting for lab results to know if one of her
much loved dogs has lymphoma, her husband is in Africa so
she need to telephone me more than usual.

Mini Tornado told me what I strongly suspected , my grandson is very damaged by my darling daughter’s suicide.

Rather a lot in three days !

Oh Annie so sorry you had such sad news all at once. You certainly had more than your share. Please come on here and share it with us and do look after yourself. x

Thank you BlueSky , I wanted to give an explanation as to why I didn’t join you all.

About having a dog, if you have time, enjoy walking etc then
yes, take care with choosing a dog and where you get one,

Recently I looked for a puppy for my elder granddaughter, I
was shocked to see the increase in the prices for puppies, since
March many are buying puppies and breeders have put up the prices so high.

I have been looking for a rescue Lab for my neighbour who recently lost his much loved Lab, the Labrador Rescue have
stopped applications for a re homed Lab but are taking in
abandoned Labs.

Well done scaredycat that took some pluck.

Flutterby I sympathise as I too find it hard to share so much that has happened to me. I am very happy for those who feel they can though.

I don't know how to classify a panic attack but that sounds horrid. You are not alone with the 'whatifs' although I know some can manage not to. I certainly can't especially in the area of harm coming to my family. That is to Doodle too.

Lavender hope your hip gets better soon, try to keep up gentle exercise.

Doodle yes, you understand the insomnia. Sometimes I do the alphabet thing in several different categories and times tables too. If that fails out comes the Kindle.

BlueSky another positive message, thanks. Go for it, rescue a dog and enjoy its love. Wonderful task getting to know each other and building the bond. Chrissey you too, get that dog.

Annie what a lot all at once, 'they come not singly........' I think you should ask yourself why they all come to you for support? I think all the gang know the answer to that. Just make sure you also get the support you need.

I don't think I get panic attacks, I think that I just curl up inside myself and DH has the great good sense to leave me alone.

Struggling to find a positive today but just about managed it. We have been under quite strict regulations which included not being able to meet anyone outside. Now that there is more of a national structure we can meet family and friends outside so that is a gain for us.

Something to laugh about: you will probably have read that up to 30 people can meet for a business meeting and also for a funeral so DH suggested that at Christmas we have a meeting about family affairs and then cremate the pudding

bluesky if you both like dogs then it would be nice for you to have one, they are such a comfort and can take your mind off your troubles, Raining here too. Been out to the hospital for a blood test for DH this morning. He’s now asleep in the chair after a restless night.
flutterby hope you had a good night and no more panic attacks,
Chrissy I think for many of us it is the whatifaries that cause is the biggest problem. We need to counterbalance that with hope. The more I think about things the greater the worry becomes because I imagine more scenarios of something awful happening.
Annie glad you are back with us.
I realised you would be sad at this time because the Aberfan disaster brings back so many memories for you.
I am so sorry about your nephew. I know he would have support from you. He has a lot to deal with too.
Your daughter must be worried about her dog. Hope it isn’t anything serious.
It must upset you that your grandson is having difficulties. Such sadness is hard to cope with. I hope he is getting help.
So many people come to you Annie as they know you have a wise head and can sympathise with their plight. It must be draining though to have such call on you all at the same time.
annie that’s kind of you to be helping your neighbour. I remember you saying he recently lost his lovely dog.
Nonnie family are so important to us, it’s not surprising we worry about them so. I do try and distract myself if I’m awake a lot at night, I have to be careful though that I don’t get too involved in my thinking that I wake myself up more. The other night I was thinking in my mind about how I would tackle a sewing project. By the following morning all I had to do was cut it out and sew it together, all the planning was done ? I like your DHs idea for Christmas planning.