BLACK DOG 8

lavender you sneaked in behind me while I was typing.?
Such good news about your daughters test. You must both be relieved.
Are you moving far from where you live now? I hope it all goes ahead for you. So many peoples plans have been out on hold because of this virus.
Hope you sleep well too. x

Ah Annie I understand now. You can’t exactly get on with your day straight away and those times in the morning are thinking times. What a close and loving bond you had between you and your daughter. I can’t imagine how much it hurts not to have her to talk to. ?
Chrissy now the wait for the mammogram results is over ,
try and find some nice things to think of or to do to celebrate the fact that you got through it.
scaredycat DH and I went out for our walk today in the sunshine. Half way it started thunder and lightning. We got absolutely drenched. My coat is still drying off in the bathroom. ?
Bluesky the key to the ultrasound results is in the wording. A “routine”phone call appointment.
I think if I suffered from health anxiety I would avoid reading anything about symptoms. If you looked up the common cold it would probably say awful stuff.
Unfortunately, my DH cannot hoover. It puffs him out too much. He does however do lots of other jobs so I forgive him ?
Sleep well all x

Hello everyone, hope you are all doing ok.
How are you Annie xx
Good news today, daughter's test came back negative - what a relief.
I couldn't agree more Doodle about the leaflet on side effects in tablets, better not to read, I never do.
I'm expecting we will go into Tier 3 sooner, rather than later. Then goodness knows, I just hope it doesn't affect my move, although it may well do I think. Anyway I can't think about that at the moment.
The weather has been the usual black skies and rain, and I have the heating on, its gone chilly.
I am another one with early morning downers, horrible, very difficult to divert your mind away from them.
Not seen Joyce, hope you are ok if you are reading, we are thinking about you.
Have a peaceful evening and a good night's sleep. Take care, stay safe, love to all of you lovely folk xx

Evening all x I phoned the surgery for my ultrasound results and I need to make a routine phone appointment to speak to the GP about it. I know it’s routine as receptionists can only give out blood test results, but when this happened to me before I expected bad news. No Doodle I
no longer Google symptoms, it’s just that occasionally while reading the paper or magazine, I can come across stories of people who sadly have been struck down with serious diseases. So I don’t even read those now and next I should stop reading the medication leaflets!
Scaredycat you made me laugh with your DH chief hooverer! Mine is too, once he complained that I don’t hoover as good as him, so I said he was welcome to it!
Hope you’ll all have a peaceful night.

Afternoon all on another wet day!!
Chrissy - good news about your mammogram. It’s strange how that feeling of anti climax spoils what should be a time of huge relief. Good that your anxiety gets better as the day goes on .
Nonnie- you,ve gone all out with the housework today! My DH is chief “hooverer” too. Tomorrow you will be free to do something nice.
Bluesky- it’s been a long day for you with such an early start. Hope you feel more comfortable now. Those random worries that creep up in the early hours can so easily escalate and stop you dropping off again. I use Dettol spray on the shopping which has made it easier - not on unwrapped veg and fruit though!!
Doodle- hope the new tablets stay trouble free. I think most side effects lists are enough to scare the pants off you.My old doctor used to say to me Whatever you do don,t read the leaflet!! He knew me well.
Annie- hope you are ok this afternoon. It’s wet here too. Mornings must be so difficult for you,not only the physical problems but also the sameness of the days. Thank goodness for MT. I feel so much for you - missing your daughter and the things you used to do together. You must have lovely memories of those times too. Working together in the Cathedral must have been special.
Take care all xxxxx

Afternoon everyone
Annie I’m very anxious when I wake up. It tends to ease throughout the day.
Nonnie Sounds like you’ve got a busy day.
BlueSky Sorry you were up so early again. It’s awful when thoughts get stuck in your head when you’re trying to sleep. Good news that you’ve had a shopping delivery.
Doodle That’s interesting about having a low after high levels of stress. I have read that the mind can only cope with so much and then it sort of shuts off and people get depersonalisation where it feels that everything is a dream. I used to read the info about side effects of pills I was taking but, because of my health anxiety, I stopped reading them.
Hi to everyone else. I hope everyone has a good day x

150 unmentionables just delivered ?.

My problem on morning waking, I can’t get up for about an hour, hip and knee locked, so start thinking of the day ahead,
not going anywhere, not seeing anyone, not doing anything,
well washing unmentionables and doing crosswords, stitching in the afternoon and evening.

Thoughts turn to my darling daughter and how different had she lived , she use to phone every morning, take
the children to school then call in to see me and have our
morning coffee. We shopped together, worked in the cathedral
together.

Then I get up and get on with the day

Chrissy I think our bodies can only cope with a certain amount of high tension and then they wind down a bit. When my DH had his heart bypass the nurse in the ward told me that all the patients were miserable or low on the third or fourth day after the op as a sort of anticlimax to the whole thing.
Nonnie thanks. I think I came up with that in the end ?
Annie if I am going through one of my higher anxiety periods I am always low on waking. Things hit you as soon as you wake up. I try to think of other things until I get going a bit. Sometimes the worry comes over in waves others it’s just in the background.
Bluesky what do you read that brings you information of health problems. I know things crop up in the newspapers but I hope you’re not googling things.
I am on some new tablets. The list of possible side effects is horrendous. It would make you think twice about taking them . If my current complaint is to improve then I need to at least try them. 4th day today nothing to note so far.
I am still washing my shopping, what a chore. Mind you Annie has the worst job, washing her unmentionables. ?

Afternoon all x again awake at 5 after a visit to the loo, then feeling ‘uncomfortable’ trying to get back to sleep but random worries go through my mind. Today it was about our finances as we get older, of all things! Managed to get an hour then up earlish. Weather is the same rain or showers for the foreseeable future. Annie my anxiety comes and goes at different times of the day, occasionally like Chrissy if I read or hear of a serious medical condition I wonder straight away whether it could apply to me or my loved ones!
Positive today had our on line shopping delivered, what an invaluable service now more than ever! Rinsed it all under the hot tap, probably unnecessary but I feel better.
Have a pleasant afternoon.

Yes nonnie early morning anxiety has been talked about several times, as has all anxiety and depression troubles.

*Go for it BlueSky! Hope you enjoyed your wet walk. Sunny here today so hope it is where you are too.

Scardycat I agree about the huge boxes so now I keep the brown paper wrapping to wrap presents for one DS who has a big thing about not buying wrapping paper. I use knitting wool instead of ribbon too and feel so virtuous! Hope all goes well with the family.

Chrissey great news about your mammogram. No suggestions about how you stop worrying though. &BlueSky Yes, it is great to love the place you live.

Doodle that happens to me all the time, different letters each time. Joist.

Annie I think the early morning anxiety has been talked of before and that quite a lot share that with you. I am lucky that I don't, mine can come at any time of day.

Positive today so far. Stripped the bed and planning to start at the top of the house and clean to the bottom. DH will make up the bed and vacuum afterwards. Don't usually do the whole lot in one day.

Hi all x

Raining in Mid Wales - again , wish I could learn to like winter,
Summer rain is refreshing, winter rain ? wet .

Anyone else get a down time on waking in the morning? I do.

Evening everyone
Thanks BlueSky Sorry you didn’t get to sing on your walk today, maybe tomorrow.
Doodle Glad to hear that you slept better last night. When I said I’d had a meltdown I meant the whole time that I was waiting for the results. You’re right though, there is a sort of anti climax when the worry is suddenly gone, I’d never thought about it before, I wonder why that happens.
Thank you lavenderzen
I haven’t see any posts from joce lately, I hope she is ok.
Goodnight everyone, sleep well x

Hope you're ok Annie xx
Good night and god bless everyone.
Take care, stay safe, love to all

Chrissy pleased your results are fine.

Well I tried the architect list last night but I got stuck on J.
I actually slept quite well and so did DH for a change.
Nonnie that’s quite a good positive, it sounds as though you you are living somewhere where you are happy. That’s good.
Bluesky I love the thought of you and DH stomping in the puddles ?
scaredycat hope your GD and her husband keep safe. I think things are more organised now and hopefully better.
Sorry you were awake so early. You should be quite fit with all this walking ?
Chrissy good news about your results. What brought on the meltdown? Do you think it could have been the relief at your results , like a sort of anticlimax.?
annie I love your post to Bluesky ?. How’s the cross stitch coming on?
Sleep well all.

Chrissy glad your mammogram is clear, try not to think about ‘the next time’.
Couldn’t sing ‘Singin’ in the rain’ this afternoon as too many fair weather walkers about when the sun came out!
I too live in a similar place, quiet cul de sac but bus stop nearby and village with a couple of mini markets, chemist, surgery, post office, hairdressers, pubs etc. I think it’s important not to be too isolated as you get older.
Have a pleasant evening and sleep well x

Thanks Annie You’re right, I’m a glass half empty person. I must start looking for positives in my life. I have to say, you’re an inspiration, looking for positives everyday even though you have a lot to cope with. I truly mean that

Chrissy glad the mammogram was clear. You doubt already
that you can do anything about your health phobia, that’s being beaten before you start,

Afternoon everyone
Well, yet again I’ve been in a meltdown for no reason. I got my mammogram results today and everything is ok. This is where I promise myself that I’ll never get myself into that state again but that hasn’t worked up til now.
BlueSky , Doodle Annie and Nonnie you all made logical posts and I can see how I was thinking totally illogically.
Annie I’m sorry that you haven’t been able to access the services that you need to. Seeing where you used to go on holiday must have brought back special memories for you. I hope that you and your mini tornado get to visit there in the not too distant future.
Doodle it’s lovely that you got to visit a special place that brought back happy memories for you. I hope you’ve had a nice afternoon busy with your sewing.
Nonnie We live in a similar setting to what you have described, in a cul de sac off of a main road. The bus stop is just a couple of minutes from our road where we can get a bus into town and the seafront. There aren’t any houses directly at the back of ours.
BlueSky and Scaredycat Hope you enjoyed your walks in the rain.
Thank you all for your support, it means a lot. x

Hello all
Doodle - yes my GD is still nursing but so far so good in her hospital at the moment. I do worry about her though as she has a little boy at nursery and her husband is a mental health nurse. The perfume is for my daughter for Xmas - no duty free visits this year have taken its toll!!! I took it out of its giant delivery box this morning - what a waste of paper and cardboard. I loved the story of your Dad on the beach. That is also one of my best memories of my Dad too. Every time I go on a beach I think of him with his trousers rolled up to his knees lifting up rocks so the crabs ran out. Happy days.
Annie - what a wonderful thing to do to begin your recovery list again. Some places have such a special place in our hearts and minds. I hope you get to be there again with MT.
Nonnie- sorry you couldn’t finish your “walk” better luck next time. But at least you had the alphabet game- you are very good at thinking of subjects. I was “walking” at 5.15 this morning!! What a lovely description of where you live - it doesn,t really get any better than that. I,m glad for you.
Bluesky- hope you enjoyed your rainy walk. We went this afternoon with brollies and waterproofs. I love the noise the rain makes on the brolly. The rain has brought a lot of branches and leaves down too.
Enjoy the rest of the day and the evening everyone Xxxxx

Annie

BlueSky please no swinging on lampposts x

Morning all ...just! I’m still an hour ahead so up extra early as I can’t stay in bed once I’m awake, then lunch early early, same with evening meal.
Annie how lovely that you feel you would like to revisit the seaside! I really hope you will manage it with your MT as soon as feasible. Like I said I’m not bothered about going away, this has been happening pre Covid not sure why as I used to love travelling. Now I feel been there, done that, bought the t shirt, I would have had to find valid excuses for not wanting a holiday as DH is as keen as ever.
Like your positive Nonnie mine is ... well quite a few, which one to pick? Don’t have to go out in the rain but we will with all the wet gear on, singing “Singing in the rain “ when there’s nobody about! x ☔️☂️

scardycat I tried your mental walk last night but I only got a short distance and couldn't go any further. I could see it ahead of me but couldn't move. No idea why I had that mental block. However, I did the alphabet thing about things I would have seen on that walk.

Glad you slept well BlueSky can't agree with you about the trips abroad, I love planning the next one and that is one of the big things I miss, not being able to plan anything, not even Christmas.

That's 3 of us off to the dentist this week! Scardycat and yes, that is my diary and nothing in next week at all!

Lavender good news about your hip. Must be so worrying when someone you love is exposed to the virus, I am hearing of so many in that situation, feels like it is getting closer all the time.

We used to dogsit a KCS and she was lovely, always stayed with us when her family were away. When taken out off the lead she always came to our house.

Same here Annie, shows, birthdays holidays all gone. Wasted our money on annual travel insurance but we can cope with that, others have lost their entire income. Go for it! That positivity to make the list is a big thing.

Chrissey I really think you overestimate the ability of NHS admin to sort out in which order to send out results! I think the only ones to get priority might be the recall ones, everyone else would just go through the process.

Been out briefly, didn't like it, going to hibernate now.

I do have a positive, been thinking about it the last few days. We have lived in cities, small towns and not quite countryside but think we now live in the best of all. We are in a cul de sac quite close to a main road but not so close it affects us. We can get public transport into our town and even into the nearest city. A few minutes walk away is the best ever parade of local shops where we can get everything we need. We feel we could ask any of the neighbours to help out if we need to. Our garden faces southwest and is established and private, there are no other houses at the back of us. My health is good and DH's is manageable. We have so much to be grateful for.

Annie that’s a lovely idea.
A few years ago I went to Bexhill on the south coast with DH. I used to go there as a child and hadn’t been for more than 30 years. We parked the car and walked down to the beach (mostly shingle) and suddenly as clear as anything I could picture standing there with my lovely Dad poking around in rock pools looking for crabs. I hadn’t given it a thought before we arrived but it was a picture as clear in my mind as if he were still there.
I hope you do get to do these things with your MT.
It’s a wet rainy day today. I am staying in. Hope to get some sewing done this afternoon.
Have a good day all x