BLACK DOG 9

annie thanks but I actually haven't 'shared my dark times'. Firstly, I can't because it would identify me and secondly because if I told the BDG everything I doubt any of you would believe me. Finally, I hate the idea of sort of being competitive, that sort of 'my child is doing better than yours' or 'my situation is worse than yours'. That is why I found it hard to join the Compassionate Friends. Glad I did because it wasn't like at at all.

annie are you on a waiting list to have your knee replaced? DH is but he is in no hurry as he wants to avoid hospitals at the moment. Is there someone who can advise you how to choose a wheelchair? It is a big expense so you want to get it right.

Thanks All it is something I had suddenly worried about, would hate to cause anyone a problem.

Nanny not only troubles all come at one, you have two wonderful things to share with us. So very, very happy for you. Will you be able to visit GD? I read somewhere that you are allowed to help with a baby under one. Presumably that is only if they live near to you.

good morning, happy to report DH is home but we are having a few teething troubles.I am happy to report that my beautiful new GD arrived a week late (the day after DH got out of hospital) at 8lbs and 8oz and i,m desperate to give her a squish...shes such a little chunk xxx

Nonnie personally I find it encouraging that you have positives.
I think we all have good times, times when things are not so bad and other times when we are anxious or worried. We can’t all be down at the same time or we’d have no one to cheer us up ?
I don’t think someone being positive would deter anyone from posting on this thread that they are feeling miserable or anxious. We all know this thread is there to support us and others with those feelings. I am just glad you are having a better period at the moment.
Annie I hope somehow you get that wheelchair soon and the ability to go outside in it when the weather improves.
Joce yes keep plodding on. Better times will come for us all I’m sure. ?
polomint nice to hear from you.
Bluesky hope you enjoy your walk with your toy boy ?
scaredycat like you we are keeping ourselves away from others. So you’ve got a toy boy too.
My DH is two years older than me so we both fall in the same vaccination group so we had them together. Next one is due in April.
rafichagran nice to hear from you too. How are you keeping? Ah yes, the Sunday night feeling. I always had that too. I hated school and dreaded Sunday nights because of school the following day. I think the feeling has just carried on.
Take care all x

Annie good idea to see how the electric wheelchair works for you. You do see the positives.
Nonnie Keep posting, always nice to hear positives.
It's Sunday evening and I hate it, always feel down on this day and this time. Tired, anxious, and down.
Hope others are all coping as well as they can. Have a good week and take care.

Yes anniebach after posting I realised that you were talking of an electric wheelchair. Hope today is a better day for everyone. Depression and anxiety, agoraphobia, claustrophobia they all have a dreadful affect on our mental health. Having the lockdown can only increase the panic attacks and just try to find something positive to look forward to doing

BlueSky- so nice to hear from you. Glad you,ve had your jab . I can’t imagine being in a crowd of people any time soon but look forward so much to being with my family. Ha ha I married a toyboy too!!!!
Joce- yes positivity is a wonderful attitude and helps us all.
Nonnie- I love your posts and you always make me feel better. Your GC sound like they are having fun this winter as are my GGC. It’s good for them all to play together and take a break. Home schooling is hard work . My teacher GD says it is easier to teach 30 then her own 2!!
Doodle- hope you enjoyed your lazy day yesterday. We,ve just been out for our first walk in a week. It was so good to be outside again we just had to watch out for slippy bits.
Annie- you are amazing how you deal with everything. I so hope that somehow you will have a wheelchair for this Summer. Have you had your enablers this weekend? Take care
XX

Joyce plodding is ok, it is not giving in or up, the doll you made was a great positive.

BlueSky always lovely to hear from you, everyone who has to cope with anxiety, depression, phobias are brilliant because
many face a daily battle

polomint thank you, I have to have an electric wheelchair, no one to push and can’t use the self propelled because my
hands are twisted

Morning all x Thanks for caring if I’m not on here, as I said it’s because I feel I don’t have anything apt for the Black Dog group, but I’ve been active on other threads.
Nonnie please don’t think your positives put off others, on the contrary it helps to read anybody’s positives at the moment. I think you are brilliant, and others on here who survived tragedy.
Doodle I’ve had my first jab now waiting for my second and DH’s first as he’s younger than me ( I married a toy boy)
Usual walk today, but I’ll carry on walking if DH stops again chatting to other (dog) walkers!
Have a pleasant Sunday x

Sorry to hear of your troubles anniebach . I understand you need a wheelchair and you live in Wales. Here in scotland I bought a wheelchair from argos for £70, not electric, one which can be used yourself or someone to push the chair. We can also hire a wheelchair on a daily basis.

Morning all.
Annie you always find good in everything, wish I was so positive, but I will keep plodding..

Nonnie I think everyone’s positive helps, the world is a mess.. I love to hear positives, better then negatives any time....

Doodle Scaredycat hope you are all having a good weekend ..

?

Hi all x

nonnie you have shared your dark times, your positives are
a blessing, we can all share out problems and our positives x

Right my wheelchair, I accept the delay , so many people are
waiting for surgery, and because of the virus still have a long
wait, some have developed illness and can walk since the virus,
little wonder the waiting list is so long now.

I will hire one for a few weeks , need to see how I cope with one and the agoraphobia, £145 per week ! could’t hire one until Autumn .

Thank you Cherrytree many are having problems with PM’s x

How is everyone today, raining in Mid Wales - again

annie you are doing the right thing getting your own wheelchair, no point in waiting for things to sort themselves out while your life is on hold. Simply getting on with it is a positive and should make you feel a sense of achievement,

Doodle my gc are getting out and about, I think it helps their parents to get them outside and running around. They are quite young though so could be hard with teenagers. Yesterday they were 'skating' on the river, one of them pushing a chair for balance. DS is enjoying home schooling and doesn't want to go back into the office.

Hi cherrytree

Have I got it wrong? Do my positives make others feel they can't post their negatives? I am so sorry if I have done that, it was not my intention. Please let me know if I have unintentionally done so, by PM if you would prefer not to say so publicly.

I feel I need to explain. I was very ill, very very ill and in hospital for quite some time as a result of the actions of others. I only survived through the love and support of my family and friends, without them I wouldn't be here now. My coping mechanism is to actively look for positives because I have to block out all the things which put me in hospital or I will be back there again. I think it is described as PTSD.

My consultant wrote a book Depression the Curse of the Strong. Yes, I am strong but also very fragile and blame myself for all the things I cannot fix, even though logically that is not true.

I wanted to post positives to encourage others, not to make them feel less positive. I'm so sorry if that is what I have been doing. I won't be upset if any of you tell me I have got it wrong.

cherrytree there is another thread on GN about people having problems not being able to send PMs. It is a GN problem nothing to do with Annie’s account. GNHQ hope to fix it soon. Kind of you to make some thoughtful suggestions.
Bluesky glad you are ok. I think we are all struggling for things to talk about at the moment. Not going anywhere or doing anything.
Do you know when you will get your jab, I must admit I was happier when we had ours. Waiting for the second one now. We are still shielding and keeping away from others just trying to build up immunity.
Have a peaceful night all x

Evening all x Doodle why thanks! Yes I’m fine not on here as I feel I don’t have anything new to say, but I’ve been on other threads. I had no side effects at all from my Oxford AZ jab, can’t wait to have the second. Today while walking around the park, a man we see regularly with his dog, stopped to chat, this is because DH can’t help himself but say something. He seemed to be rather near us, even if I know it’s just me and we were in the open air. So I’ll be happier when we’ve had the two jabs.
Annie sorry nothing is ever easy and straightforward for you, and having to sleep on the sofa on a regular basis must be so uncomfortable and not at all ideal for you. Can’t believe there’s so little help when you are on your own.
Can you really see life going back to normal? I cringe when I see programs on tv with people crowded together and without masks!
Have a peaceful evening everybody x

I tried to send PM again Annie
Not sure what the problem is.

However the gist of it was....
I was just wondering if it would be more cost effective for you to hire an electric wheelchair until your promised electric wheelchair is ready for you in the autumn.

The weather is pretty grim at he moment, so it maybe end of March or early April before you would feel warm enough to venture out.

Anyway sending you and all the Black dog gang my best wishes

Afternoon everyone ?
Annie I have tried to send you a PM.
I have to apologise, I am not sure what's going on with GN
at the moment, it would seem that I have Sent you no less than 18 PMs!!!!.?

I sincerely hope that your inbox is not blocked!

Nonnie glad you are finding some positives.
I’m hoping the lockdown will end soon. I worry about all the children, they need to get out and have exercise and socialise.
The teenagers worry me as they’re less likely to go out and exercise than the young or older people and it’s not good for them to be in all the time.
I am having a lazy day today (wot another I hear you say) Just going to do some painting and make dinner. No ironing or housework. ?
Annie it’s awful you have to wait so long for a wheelchair. You need it now. Do you have any idea when your DD and SIL might be able to fix your flooring?
Will they help you find a buy your wheelchair do you think?
Joce Scardycat how are you today?
Haven’t heard from Bluesky for a while, hope she’s ok.
lavender do you go walking in your woods?
Have a good day all x

Afternoon all

Joce- I love that little doll you are very talented. She will be much loved by whoever becomes her owner.
Lavender- glad you are happy in your new home it sounds idyllic.
Doodle- I used to ride on the back of my first husbands Triumph and loved it. Loved watching racing too.
Nonnie- it’s good to count your blessings as you have although it isn,t always easy is it. We will get there.
Annie- I can’t believe it about the wheelchair! It is so important that you can get out in the air this Summer and start on your road to freedom. Can someone help you to chose the right wheelchair when you come to buy it? I only say that as my late Mil bought a mobility scooter without advice and it was too powerful for her and she had to exchange it for another model.
Do hope you can get your floor done soon - sleeping on the sofa must be so difficult.
Sending a hugx
Love to all in BDGx

Annie that’s so unfair autumn! X

Hi all x

How is everyone?

nonnie great positives,x

it is important for us to find positives and if comfortable share them here , they don’t have to be - I went for a 5 mile walk today or I won the lottery ! But still speak of problems, emotions etc.

Well, the occupational therapist came yesterday, my application for wheelchair accepted, on the list, now for the
but -

Long waiting list, earliest will be Autumn, I will have it for the
Winter, ! ! ! !

Have decided to buy one, will cost quite a sum but if I wait I won’t be able to even go out in my garden again this year.

Have to sleep on sofa until bedroom flooring is fitted, can’t be
done until younger daughter and husband can come from
Lincolnshire. I can sleep in my bed if I have carers to assist so
I don’t fall, this means bed at 7.00pm , so it’s the sofa .

My knee is so badly twisted it can’t get worse or more painful so I class that as a positive

annie waiting with baited breath to hear how it went with the OT.

Doodle been on the back of a Harley, just the once on a work jolly. No desire to ever do it again Never think about motorbikes so cannot imagine what was going on to have that dream.

Please keep reminding us that 'we will get together again' sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel seems a very long way away. I have to consciously look for the light and remind myself that:

1 numbers are coming down
2 my situation is better than many others
3 others rely on me to keep their spirits up
4 I have a loving family who keep in touch
5 and now have heard that a 60 year old friend is having her vaccination tomorrow.

Joce what a beautiful doll. You are so clever. That’s a lovely thing to make.
I am so sorry you feel bad in the mornings, I have had periods like that and it was awful. Is there anything you can do to keep your mind off things. I used to recite my times table just to keep my mind busy.
Nonnie your dreams are adventurous. Motorbike riding and haircuts. Lucky you ?. I have never been on a motorbike in my life and no desire to do so really. How nice of your DS to send you videos of them having fun in the snow. Don’t lose heart. We will get together again. I know it seems a long time off.
Annie I do so hope the visit with the OT went well.
Take care all x

Annie fingers crossed for you xx

Hi all x

Lavender yes difficult times and causes thinking too much on the negatives . Wonderful to know you are happy in your
new home x

Joyce love the doll, so clever, I could never make something
so lovely. Keep plodding x

nonnie oh the dreams , bizarre, but not a motorbike yet x

Well occupational therapist coming this afternoon, stomach
churning, will I be nearer to having the wheelchair? pray I will,
will let you all know x