BLACK DOG 9

Hi all x

Ellie Anne the virus has affected so many, we have to find a way to live with it. Your way of life has changed so much, I know how hard it is to find ways to change our day to day
living . Every morning I look on a site which has all the news of
what’s going on in this town, found things such as ‘volunteers
wanted to join a group of litter pickers, I am not suggesting you
go out to pick up litter but try to find out what is going on, may
find something which interests you. Do keep sharing here x

Annie the virus has not made any difference to his life except he could not get a hair cut for a while. He’s been like this for years.

BlueSky not sure it is any better to ignore symptoms than to stress about what they might be.

I believe it is best to take your BP 4 separate times each day, write them down and then work out the average.

Doodle well done with the exercises. I think my ignoring symptoms could be the same reason as your DH

Good advice on the BP, I think you should also have your feet on the floor. If I take mine when lying down it is very, very low when normally it is just low.

Hope you had a good time away and that the coast wasn't too wet and windy.

Annie please retaliate next time you are told its inevitable. Point out that you cannot accept that and ask them to give you something positive. Who knows, you might shake them up a bit!

Ellie Anne sorry you are so tired, when I feel like that (today) I feel the opposite, I want to become a hermit.

I can understand that leaving your home under these circumstances would be very difficult. I hope you can soon leave your OH to just get on with being a couch potato and get back to living a busy personal life.

I have been so busy the last few days, haven't even opened my laptop until today. Got a lot of catching up to do but today am so tired I am not going to do more than feed and physio DH.

Ellie Anne. Has your husband always been as he is now or did
he change when the virus exploded on the world ?

The food bank was still open but was run differently because of COVID and the people in charge were doing it. They know that I am wanting to go back as soon as it’s allowed.
My dil was made redundant during COVID and her new job fits in with the school hours but I’m needed occasionally for holidays and illnesses.
I walk( did 6 miles on Saturday) do all the gardening, sew a bit, read, do crosswords and sudoku and when possible meet up with friends.
I think my oh is totally unaware of how unhappy I am. He seems to like sitting about all day doing nothing. Well he reads the paper, plays solitaire on computer and watches some tv. Only goes to the local shop for paper and golf maybe a couple of times a month.

Annie hope is all we have. How upsetting that the disablement team aren’t more supportive. 6 weeks for ramps after you’ve already been waiting so long. I’m so sorry. This must be difficult and frustrating. Much love and cwtchs xx
Ellie Anne so much of your day to day activities have stopped in lockdown it’s no wonder you’ve hit a low point.
Will you be able to look after your DGD again soon?
Does your husband feel the same as you or is he unaware of how unhappy you are?
Hope all the gang are ok. I am going to be away until tomorrow night as DH and I are visiting my BIL and continuing on to spend a night at the coast. Weather permitting a beach walk tomorrow. Take care all x

I owe all an update ! Still sleeping on sofa, have to wait at least
six weeks for ramps to be fitted, still at battle with head of the disablement team , I so dislike people who say ‘it’s inevitable’ ,
they take away people’s hopes and do we all not need hope ?

Hi all x

Yes it’s raining in Mid Wales - again. How is everyone?

Ellie Anne a house move at 70 would be stressful, more so if
not financially independent. It is possible with support on health grounds.

Why did your food bank closed ? Have you checked to see if they are open again, they are certainly in demand across the country. You are missing mixing with people, I understand because I haven’t seen my family since last year. So many are
affected by not seeing their families . What are your hobbies ?

Yes doodle I’ve had both vaccinations.
Before COVID I was involved in watching granddaughters, local food bank and church activities. That all stopped.
If I was younger maybe I could leave but because I was a stay at home mum for various reasons I’m quite financially dependent and one of our sons often needs financial help too.
At 70 I don’t think my mental health could handle all the practicalities.

Annie I’m ok thank you. Still Plodding with a few wobbles but ok until I know otherwise if you know what I mean ?
How are you getting on. Any news of the ramp to get you outside?
Bluesky if your BP was sky high at the surgery and Ok now, it sounds very much like white coat hypertension. Getting anxious about having your BP taken. Hopefully now you are taking your own readings it should be better.

I’ve been having a declutter day today. I’m worn out now.
Hope all the gang are ok x

Hi all x Annie well my BP is now quite good while when I was at the surgery it was ridiculously high, so much so that the nurse enquired whether I drink alcohol! (I’m now T total) Anyway yes the consultation will be by phone with the pharmacist, I’ll report my weekly average and we’ll go from there. Not sure when the old fashioned face to face with the GP will resume, if at all.
How are things with you Annie?
Ellie Anne sorry to hear about your predicament. I used to be in a similar situation with my first husband till I decided to leave, but I was 40, not sure whether people would make such a step later in life. Sorry no practical help.
Hope you’ll all have a peaceful day x

Hi all x

BlueSky I am glad to know talking here helps you, it’s the reason Black Dog was started , don’t forget to make that appointment early this week x

Ellie Anne if I may ask, do you want to leave your husband?

Doodle how are you?

Scardeycat yes, ‘don’t think about it’, in my opinion a daft bit
of advice , when troubled distraction can help, we can’t all be
Scarlet O’Hara’s can we

Ellie Anne have you had your vaccinations yet? I think restrictions are going to be lifted soon perhaps then you can visit your daughter and family. Do you belong to any clubs or activities outside of home. Things like that should be staring up again soon. Hope you feel a bit better today.

Doodle it’s being trapped here with DH. I was hoping to go to stay with my daughter for a bit but she doesn’t think I’m allowed to stay with her and doesn’t want to risk me picking up virus and passing it on to grandchildren. I’m not worried about it but she seems to be.

Bluesky I am pretty sure it is genetic. DHs parents both had high BP. Sleep well x

Thanks Doodle! Tell your DH that I can join him in the longest chronic high BP club. Yet I’ve always done what you are supposed to, but if it’s genetic that’s it. Perfectly calm now and of course my readings are way lower than those recorded this morning by the nurse! Helps so much talking on here as I know my DH as understanding as he is, he gets fed up with me checking my BP or whatever my latest worry is.
Hope you’ll all have a peaceful night. x

Bluesky you may have a thing called white coat hypertension. My DH has that. If someone takes his BP it is always sky high. If he takes it at home on his own device it is well within the recommended levels. Our surgery always accept DHs own recordings as they know his BP goes up when they do it. Apparently according to the instructions on our BP machine you should sit quietly for 15 minutes before you do your BP. That never happens in the GP surgery. Please sleep tonight and try not to worry. My BP is often high. It fluctuates a lot during the day.
Annie how are you doing, is life still busy?
Scaredycat lots of people get anxious about having their Bp done. Try sitting quietly for 15 mins before you take it like I said to Bluesky. It’s it’s any help, DH has had high BP for over 30 years and he’s still here. ?
Thank you my jaw is fine today.
Ellie Anne you’ve had a few better days so build on that. Is it your home you want to leave or your DH? Is there anyone you can stay with for a while to have a break?
Take care all x

Well after a few good days I’ve gone down again. I’ve been out a lot this week so maybe it’s just tiredness.
But I do feel like running away from home and disappearing but wouldn’t want to cause my children any worry so I’ll just keep pretending I’m fine.

Hi all.
Nonnie- so pleased you had a good time with your friend. A Caribbean restaurant sounds wonderful.
Random unexpected encounters with nice people are one of the pleasures of life- what a nice place you live.
Yes being told “don’t think about it” is one of the worst things to hear especially when that is precisely what you are trying to do!!
Bluesky- I am the same as you with regards to BP checks but I even hate doing it at home- it is the thing I dread the most. What a good idea of Annie’s to cut the worry time down. Hope you managed to have a nice nap.
Doodle - hope your jaw has settled down now- bet you’re pleased that’s over. Good news your exercising is helping .
You are so right about enjoying ourselves while we can it’s just taking me a while to get brave again but it’s coming.
Annie- hope you are ok today. It’s blowing like mad here - we planted our pots and things out the other day and now the weather is doing it’s best to finish them off.?
Love to all in BDG

BlueSky yes do make the appointment ahead , if you waited until the end of the week you would have even more days of
stress x

Annie good idea I’ll do that, make an appointment while I start recording my BP, so I can speak to somebody sooner. Thanks!
How are things with you Annie?
Catch you all up later.

Hi all x

BlueSky no, you are not silly, many waiting for medical
test results get anxious, you didn’t avoid having the tests and there are some who do. Can you make an appointment before
taking your BP for a week ? make it ahead so you will not have to wait for an appointment after that week ? Hope I am making
sense .

Hi all x Well been to have my blood test and my BP was high, I thought as much as I get nervous. When I take it at home is reasonable. I told the nurse who suggested I record it for a week then make an appointment for medication review, which last year didn’t happen because of Covid. Anyway the blood tests should show any deficiencies or out of range results.
Tired as I didn’t get much sleep knowing I had a blood test and bp check. Silly isn’t it?
Will have a rest now hopefully a nap.
Have a good day all x

Thank you Doodle you have such a lovely calming influence! Sorry to hear your DH has been through so many illnesses and operations.
I wish you all a peaceful night.

Nonnie thank you for asking about my elbow. It must be better because I had forgotten all about it ?
It was lovely to go for a meal. We were quite well distanced so I didn’t feel uncomfortable.
So glad you had a break and a nice meal with a friend. Yes you must encourage your DH to continue with his physio. I have been doing exercises recently and have a feeling it’s helping my knees.
Bluesky I haven’t really ever suffered with health anxiety. I think because DH has had sooo many illnesses and operations I worry more about his health than mine. Fortunately, DH is very good and if ill, will contact the GP. My anxieties are over other things but the awful fear and worry we feel is the same even though the cause is different,
I hope you do go for a meal with your DH. Enjoy life as much as you can while you can I think.
Bluesky if you have a worry about your health the best thing to do is have it checked out by a GP. If everything is ok then no need to worry, if there is something wrong, the sooner it is dealt with the better. There are so many treatments and options for so many illnesses these days. Many can be cured or at least held in abeyance.
Because medicine has to cover its back, so to speak, you will find that almost all symptoms can point to something nasty if you look hard enough. They cannot say this symptom won’t lead to anything bad because almost everything could be a symptom of something (I’m not explaining myself very well but I hope you get the gist of it)
Annie I hope you are ok. Is life still busy for you? x