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Sleep, the innocent sleep, sleep that knits up the ravel'd sleeve of care

(92 Posts)
LadyHonoriaDedlock Thu 21-Jan-21 16:25:49

Since Christmas I seem to have fallen into a pattern of lying awake until five or six in the morning, then sleeping until well after noon. Obviously I'm retired and live alone, and with lockdown firmly in place I have nowhere to go and nobody comes to see me so my hours are my own, but it doesn't feel healthy to me.

I've followed all the online advice, have a mug of cocoa and a shower or bath an hour or so before bedtime, stop watching TV and read or knit instead, keep the light subdued and stripped of blue tones. It doesn't help.

Has anybody else experienced this problem? If problem it is? How did you handle it?

Frankie51 Sat 23-Jan-21 11:15:00

One thing that worked for me was to reset my body clock by not going to bed at all for a day. When it got to 4am, when I would usually have gone to bed, I didn't, but drank coffee to keep awake and pushed through the tiredness by going out for a walk at 7am, kept busy all day, didn't give in to napping. By 9pm I was really tired. I stayed up till 10pm then slept, waking up at 6am. After a few days it became my new routine.

vampirequeen Sat 23-Jan-21 11:15:53

I have the opposite problem in that I could sleep on a line. This year I decided to try to train my body clock to more normal hours. I go to bed at more or less the same time every night and get up at the same time every day. I have a light alarm clock which mimics dawn and tricks the brain into waking up. On the rare (very rare) occasion that I can't sleep I keep my eyes open. It's very difficult to do that in a dark room and makes you very tired very quickly. It may not work for everyone but it's worth a try.

lemsip Sat 23-Jan-21 11:16:00

I go to bed just after midnight, hoping to sleep till at least 7am. so annoying when I wake and it's only 4 always try and go off again after a cup of tea and ten minutes on here!
I go for a brisk walk twice a day, I make myself and always feel better for it!
Living alone means you never use or hear your own voice. I have the radio on while busying about,...... find myself singing along, badly but who cares! and walk up and down the room in time to music which is fun! I find it lifts my spirits which i hope will help me sleep after midnight

Clevedon Sat 23-Jan-21 11:19:27

Some one the other day recommended Pukka night time tea. Have to say I bought some and it works for me ?

Grannymyers1954 Sat 23-Jan-21 11:24:07

Sleep has always been a problem to me. My husband bought me a weighted blanket at Christmas and it has really helped me. Even if I wake up in the night I soon go back to sleep. Would not work if you were having hot flushes but it is like a security blanket

Seajaye Sat 23-Jan-21 11:24:39

I have had issues with sleep pattern previously, all connected with anxiety. Perhaps Covid isolation/ loneliness, and boredom may be affecting your brain patterns. I found some daily exercise, a daily routine for the day to include a regular breakfast time and bedtime, and not eating late at night. Make sure your bedroom is a TV, laptop, phone free zone. It's worth reading up on resetting body clock and sleep hygiene.

Juicylucy Sat 23-Jan-21 11:33:02

Omg I could be writing this. Honestly nothing works for me, hot drinks, baths, reading, listening to calm music nothing at all. I saw a video online where a sleep specialist explained what happens. I’m not able to use the same terminology that he used but basically when this happens something in our brains extends and stretches the hours in our days and shortens the night time hours, where it then becomes the norm to our body patterns and it then becomes a challenge to break this pattern. I walked 3 miles last night got home at 8oc still didn’t go to bed till 1oc still awake at 3.50 the knock on effect is I didn’t wake up until 10.30 feeling groggy. So I do believe what he explained is what’s happened to me as I’m now well into this pattern and finding it very difficult to break. I would never even consider going to bed before midnight because I’m never tired at that time even after working and a walk, my body and mind is just not tired. So I’m reading with interest but the run of the mill ideas just do not touch the sides with me.

starlily106 Sat 23-Jan-21 11:36:17

I have always been unable to sleep well,, lying awake for hours. Now I use NEOM Pillow Mist. I've tried other brands but none of them work. I usually read for a while, then one spray on each side of my pillow and away I go. I do wake up during the night to use the loo (waterworks), then back to sleep, no problem. Costs £20 for a small bottle, but it lasts for ages. I use 2 sprays as I turn from side to side when I first get into bed, but if you lie still when you settle down you only need to spray once. I've noticed that the first thing that happens when I have sprayed and put my head down is that I yawn. Might be worth giving it a try.

Buffy Sat 23-Jan-21 11:45:14

I have tried going to bed early with herbal tea as recommended last week, lighting lavender incense and having a bedtime drink like cocoa all to no avail. I just can’t get to sleep. I don’t drink alcohol just now and don’t feel I’m worrying about anything much. I just can’t get to sleep. By the time I get going the next day there’s very little daylight left. I get so annoyed with myself.

Buffy Sat 23-Jan-21 11:47:00

Will try NEOM pillow mist. Will try anything

Witzend Sat 23-Jan-21 11:50:59

My sleep is all over the place at the moment. I’ll often be awake for 2-3 hours during the night, then wake at 6 - and feel like getting up - or sleep on till 8 or 9.

This morning I really surpassed myself - dh brought me a cup of tea at about 8 - I was more or less awake - next thing I knew, it was 2 minutes to 11!!!
And tea stone cold.
A record even for me!

Kamiso Sat 23-Jan-21 12:11:10

I only seem to need about six hours sleep in recent years. We’ve been staying up very late and sleeping in late then reading in bed where it’s warm and comfortable. I think the mattress is suffering though. Expensive good quality one but designed for lying flat for 8 hours.

We just need to do whatever it takes to get through these strange times. Once we can go out and about we can gradually readjust back to normality.

Kamiso Sat 23-Jan-21 12:15:37

Meant to say Michael Sealey sleep/relaxation tapes on you tube work for me. Some go on all night but I find the 30 minute ones are right or me. Found one that helps with pain as well so that’s a bonus.

maryelizabethsadler Sat 23-Jan-21 12:17:36

There are some good helpful posts here; not sure if I have missed something - personally I wouldn't have cocoa at night, or hot chocolate as I, like you, would be buzzing and wide awake. Hot milk and honey is good for me, as is camomile tea, already suggested, or horlicks. Personally I try not to drink anything in the last three-quarter of an hour before bed, or I then have to wake up several times for a wee...

SheilsM Sat 23-Jan-21 12:19:05

Lady HD, your story could be mine! Isn’t it horrible tossing and turning until the early hours?! And then getting up mid morning - lunchtime once! The only reason I have to get up is to take my dog for a walk so he gives me some purpose! And now I’m anxiously waiting for my vaccination. Lots of my friends have heard but not me and I’m over 75. Think that would make a bit of a difference to being able to relax more to get to sleep. Anyway you have my total empathy. It’s a bit of a comfort to know you’re not alone eh?

jaylucy Sat 23-Jan-21 12:26:21

One of my aunts still is up and about until about 4 am. When I lived overseas, she often used to write letters to me in the early hours. One time, she said she had just finished the ironing at 2am !
I can see no problem. If you were lying awake until 5am and then only getting a couple of hours sleep, it would be.
Perhaps you need to literally stay up and not go to bed until 5am and gradually bring that time back an hour at a time until you get to about midnight ?

Annaram1 Sat 23-Jan-21 12:35:56

I've never been a good sleeper either. I was on sleeping tablets repeatedly prescribed by the doctor when they did that sort of thing, for 25 years, from the age of 25 until 50. I didn't find they helped and only got about 4 hours of sleep anyway and had to get up at 7 am to get kids ready for school and then go to work full time myself. I did not feel tired anyway. So I just took myself off the pills and I did not sleep any worse. 30 years later I conclude that I am one of the lucky ones who do not require 7 or 8 hours sleep. Its a myth that we all need a lot of sleep in order to function.

Helenlouise3 Sat 23-Jan-21 13:18:32

I would suggest getting into a routine of getting up earlier even if you've had hardly any sleep. A few days might get you settled into a pattern

Jodieb Sat 23-Jan-21 13:44:13

Breathe deeply and slowly like you are asleep and count backwards.

GoldenAge Sat 23-Jan-21 14:16:26

LadyHonoria - you're right, it's not healthy - there's lots of research into the damage to mental health caused by the sleeping patterns of shift workers. Essentially you should sleep when it's dark, and be be awake and functioning when it's light. Your body needs natural light and this last year when people have been without holidays in the sunshine has shown itself to have been damaging to our levels of vitamin D3. Advice given to clients - Prepare to go to bed at 1000 pm. No reading on or off a screen unless it's a paper back and something light - no thrillers. In bed at 11.00 with the light off. Set the alarm for 7 or 8. If you don't fall asleep, get up and walk about, then back to bed, repeat until you fall asleep. When the alarm goes off at 7 or 8 get up - even though you're tired, you must get up and do what you have to do - do not allow yourself to nap in the day and follow the same pattern as the previous day. In about four days you will be sleeping normally in the night and awake in the day. This change to your body rhythm is in your hands. Melatonin will help but you shouldn't take this unless you get it from your GP. Good luck.

Lizbethann55 Sat 23-Jan-21 14:33:24

A few years ago there was a series of programmes on BBC about sleep. A couple of things I remember are that it is not the warm bath that makes you sleepy but the drop in body temperature that does the trick. Is your room too hot? Though you wouldn't want to be cold. Another thing was how to reset your body clock. Go to bed earlier than you have been doing. If you can't sleep, actually get up for half an hour and do something tedious before going back to bed. Also set your alarm for the time you want to get up and, regardless of how tired you are or how little sleep you have had, make yourself get up. It will be a very gradual process and will take weeks or even months, but apparently it works. It may be worth contacting a sleep clinic for advice.

LuckyFour Sat 23-Jan-21 14:34:27

In the last thread on this topic a special 'sleep tea' was mentioned that can be bought at the supermarket. Can anyone remember what make of it was and what it was called?

suelld Sat 23-Jan-21 14:43:55

I've had the identical sleep pattern for some years LadyHonoriaD - way before lockdown - mine started because I have (amongst other issues) Sleep Apnoea and have to sleep with a mask attached to a machine. I found it claustrophobic and couldn't get to sleep with it on unless completely knackered &/or with a nightly Nytol! Luckily I work from home - I run a small business - and managed to 'flexi' my working hours to fit my dilemma - but it does cause problems tho most of the time it works. I have tried and tried to break the habit - I'm much easier with the mask now (after about 8 years I ought to be!) but I still get the occasional glitch. I'm mainly off the Nytol but still am stuck in the "sleep around 3am get up eventually at c. 11/12 am!" cycle. It used to be worse - and occasionally better - depending... but I can't work unless I've had enough sleep - so I have to sleep until I feel ready to cope. I'm 74. I have read ALL the articles and seen all the programmes re sleep and nothing helps break my cycle. My job is pretty sedentary I have to admit and currently I'm self-isolating and live very near the centre of town which doesn't help - I feel going for walks in this situation is what I need to do - but am wary of this as many of the locals take little or no precautions against Covid. Also I have asthma and find mask wearing a trial. So I just accept the situation and live with it, until I can find a solution...

Angel958 Sat 23-Jan-21 14:45:28

I thought it was just me with a sleep cycle out of synch. Maybe it’s something to do with aging? It’s very annoying not sleeping till 4 am or 5 am although I do get up around 10.00 am. I am taking an antihistamine at night now - not sure if they work and I’ve kept a kind of sleep diary for the last week in case I need to do sleep restriction. After 7 nights falling asleep at the hours above, I did actually fall asleep within half an hour of turning my light off around 1.15 am and woke naturally after 8 hours sleep. Maybe it is just a phase. Don’t worry about it but also I would set your alarm for a reasonable wake-up time so you don’t waste a while morning.

Shropshirelass Sat 23-Jan-21 14:48:34

Have you tried getting up at 6:00am even though you haven’t slept. If you can reset your body clock this way it might work, although you might feel rather like a zombie all day and go to bed a little earlier. Also Lush Sleepy Body cream is lovely, my DM who is 98 swears by it, rubs some into her arms every night.