Black Dog 10

Sorry doodle no I don’t have hypnosis now but it’s the tape he did me that certainly helps me get a good nights sleep.

Doodle it’s very true that when thinks are over we can laugh, and do they very same thing next time we hit a wall..
I know you are right children don’t forget I certainly have not, I would give anything to forget some of my childhood, maybe some of my adulthood has well. There are something’s I would like to forget but glad I can remember if that makes sense...
have a peaceful nights sleep all ?

Joce so sorry about the nettles. Is it very painful. Have you tried arnica?
Sorry the counselling hasn’t helped you. Are you still doing the hypnosis? It’s good you sleep normally. That must help.
Nonnie I could well be wrong but I don’t think Annie meant don’t send PMs more not mentioning it on the thread.
I too have sent PMs to others when there are things you want so say but not on a public forum.
It sounds as though some awful things happened in your childhood. I am so sorry. That must be hard to deal with.
It sounds as though you are a forgiving person and that perhaps has helped you to move on. Not to forget but to try and make the most of the life you have now.
GSM you too seem to have been through many troubled times. Things that happen in childhood have such a lasting impact on people. They say that children can cope, that they forget things. I don’t think this is the case I think things can sometimes be pushed to the back of the mind but the hurt lives on. Glad you have a loving family to support you.
Scaredycat when you rely on medication to exist it becomes very scary to not have it with you. I have had a panic attack in the past because I realised I didn’t have my inhaler with me.
When things are ok and the crisis is over it’s always easy to laugh at yourself and say well I won’t do that again. I still do it.
The anxiety builds and is impossible to control.
Your DGD sounds a lovely person. I hope she comes through her troubles ok.
Romroot hope you are ok too.
Annie have you chosen your new iPad yet? I had to get another cover for mine today, the last one literally fell off.
Been to see my DGS and family tonight. Lovely to see them happy together. They have been through tough times too.
Sleep well dear BDG. x

Hi gang
Annie- thank you for your words about trauma.Like many here there are many things in my past some distant some not so distant that I can’t or don’t want to talk about that have affected my life in so many ways . Resulting in the anxieties I have now. Everyone here has their own experiences which have shaped their lives one way or another . I am so grateful for you and all BDG for the love and support shown her. Just wish I was better at opening up.
Hope you get a snazzy iPad to go with your snazzy glasses.x
GSM- that meds thing happened to me on holiday a few years ago. First morning before the ship sailed away I found I,d forgotten one of my meds.Mega Panic!! Went ashore to a little Croatian pharmacy and they had it there, luckily we always take a photocopy of the prescriptions with us so I could have the meds. What a relief it took hours for my legs to stop shaking.
Joce- yes some things are indelible in our minds.you ar3 right about HA- it is a difficult thing to live with. Each time I panic I tell myself no more panicking and it’s all ok- that is until the
next time!!!
My Nan used to say Dock leaves were good to put on nettle stings but I don’t think I could recognise one now if I fell over it!
RomRoot - I hope you are ok today - thinking of you.
Nonnie- my DGD is doing ok thank you. She has anxiety on top of everything but never stops smiling despite everything. Face timing her tomorrow can’t wait to see her .
Doodle- I,m ok today thank you. Had a nice gentle couple of days it’s been really nice weather.
Enjoy the evening all

Sorry, where they belong, not where I belong (I think..!)

Hello all.
Joce, Nonnie and all others affected by things that happened in your childhood - it’s impossible to forget as the hurt goes so deep. I don’t feel able to share my experiences (save to say there was no sexual abuse) in an otherwise happy childhood and I can never forget so long as I have a functioning memory (I do wonder about the latter sometimes, don’t we all?!). I have no doubt that this was the cause of the low self esteem I have always had but for me the depression had its roots in other, later events; the low self esteem may have made me more vulnerable to it, I have no idea, but trying to analyse it can’t change things for me today and it’s today (and tomorrow if I’m granted it) which is where I live now to the very best of my ability.

As I got older I found I could, with the wisdom of age and life experience, understand why certain things happened and I could then move on to forgive. I then collected the unpleasant things together and put them into a box in my mind. The lock on the box isn’t strong enough to keep it permanently closed but I then invented something else for the escape attempts. I conjured up a pair of old fashioned scales and put the escapees on one side and all the good things that I now have, my family, my home, my garden, my pets, the hard-earned a academic and professional qualifications and a long working life followed by the wonderful laziness and indulgence (no commute, no deadlines, no early morning starts, no time to appreciate the changing seasons) of retirement and the ability to take each day as it comes - so many things to give thanks for and they outweigh those escapees by so much that I can then put them back in the box where I belong. That’s just the coping mechanism I worked out to deal with the hurt which will always be with me and about which I’ve told no-one but my husband and my son. The low self esteem is something I still have but not so badly now. I have nothing to prove to anyone now. That’s just my little amateur coping mechanism and perhaps something like it may give a little comfort and respite to others. Live with it as there is no choice about that, it happened and we can’t re-write the past, but don’t let it mar the good things in life, the very simple pleasures that each day can bring if we let it, as the hurt will do given half a chance. I wish everyone with horrible memories well.

RomRoot, how’s it going? Miss you.

Annie I understand what you say and the reason for it but I sometimes send PMs (I have to you and you to me) because there are things I cannot share publicly because of my stalker. If I think I can help privately I do so and, in this instance, mentioned it because the person who needed help seemed to be new to GN and might not know about PMs. Looking at the bigger picture and the urgency I believe I did the right thing.

I cannot share all the trauma I have experienced publicly, and often wish I could, but I doubt anyone would believe that one person could have had so much. My life has been harder than you could imagine but now I try to use those experiences to help others and give them hope.

GSM you are so right about the past and, yes, we do have to accept it comes back sometimes and bites us. If we can adapt our attitude and accept the past it does help. I has taken me a long time to accept some of the things but I am getting there. I pray every night for the happiness of the person responsible for so much of the hurt and if she is still stalking me perhaps it is time she knew that.

I did the same thing, although it was my fault. The withdrawal symptoms were horrible! DS took me to a local doctor so I was able to continue the holiday after a few days.

Yes Doodle and to add to that, antidepressants probably won't take it all away but may help cope if taken for long enough.

I had the opposite, I was in isolation in hospital for months with no one telling me anything, only seeing people in white coats and masks. Eventually I went home and finally back to school where nothing was done to help me catch up on what I missed. So glad that couldn't happen today.

Joce, yes, childhood trauma. I thought I had been badly affected until some years ago I was talking to my sister about it and realised that I was no longer as bitter as her, that I had survived better than she had. I suppose all these things have degrees and some cope better than others. Of course it is still there underneath.

Romroot how are you? Please keep in touch with us all, we want to help.

Hi all x

How is everyone ?

Doodle yes I have had counselling a few times sadly doesn’t seem to help... I do think health anxiety is something we have to learn to live with... I have been better from having hypnosis in that I do get a goodnight sleep has a rule. But my anxiety just went though the roof when I got the phone call at 8. 30.
Back to listen to my tapes thank goodness they chill me out some ...
I do have some very sad memories from my childhood not all bad.. some still make me very sad.

Wondering how Romroot got on today hope it went well...

I’ve have been nettled bad today does anyone have any remedies still sore after 9 hours ?

Hope everyone has a peaceful night sleep ? x

GSM I’m sorry some have been unkind to you. There are some people like that on GN. I have met Doodledog on other threads and have found her to be a nice lady.
Don’t be put off by the sharks. They have always been there. You have some good advice about venlafaxine.
Hope Romroot got on ok today.
One of my nightmare dreams is going on holiday without my meds (I am asthmatic). It must have been awful for you.
Joce I have a really bad memory but can remember some things from my childhood. My mum going into hospital when I was 5. I didn’t see her for weeks. I remember a few other things too which upset me although I was blessed in having a wonderful loving family surrounding me.
Forgive me because I can’t remember, have you had counselling for your anxiety and depression?
Annie how have you been today.
Hope all the gang are ok. x

Annie I have been thinking about my childhood, I think you are so right...
it’s unbelievable what can stay with us for ever, I really believe a lot of my anxiety has come form my childhood..
Also depression... I do think I have shut a lot out and wish the rest would say in my past as well... sadly it happened what we need to do is try and deal with it if only it was that easy...

Thanks Doodle, of course GSM is fine, I did choose an awfully long name! Far better than what I was called on a much less friendly thread the other day, your namesake Doodledog kindly stood up for me! There are some seriously unpleasant people who circle like sharks on some threads.
I can confirm that venlafaxine does take a while to take effect, but it is very good, for me anyway. Anyone taking it should never leave it off abruptly unless on doctor’s orders, I had a dreadful holiday years ago when the pharmacy forgot to put it in my bag of repeat prescriptions which I picked up the evening before we went away and I didn’t check the contents before putting it in my luggage. The whole family had a truly rotten holiday, our one holiday of the year, as the sudden withdrawal from it was horrible.
Hope RomRoot’s consultation went well.

Good advice Nonnie. Meds do take a few weeks to work. I know that from all the things DH takes. It is hard to be patient when you are suffering from depression and anxiety, the days can seem very long.
Annie I hadn’t thought about trauma quite like that before. It’s a good point. Sorry your iPad is playing up. Hope you get a new one soon.
GSM ( hope you don’t mind the abbreviation, I’m not very good at spelling) your contributions are welcome. We all aim to support on this thread and not make light of others troubles.
You seem to care about others and that’s what we all need. We may not have the solution or always have the right words but we do care. As Nonnie said, please stay.
Romroot I wish you well today.

Nonny, thank you so much for saying that to me. How kind. You made my day! I’ve lurked here for a while without posting but if my two penn’orth helps anyone I’m really pleased. I’m so sorry you have had such difficulties. You are so right, the past can’t be changed but we can change the future and get to a much better place. Years ago I couldn’t have imagined being where I am now but with help and telling the past to get back in its box where it belongs when it rears its ugly head we can get there. It still tries to escape of course, but it’s a foreign country and we aren’t supposed to be going abroad just now.
Annie you big spender! First the fancy blue specs, now a new iPad (it has sounded like you need one though!) - what will it be next??? I reckon you’ve caught that spending bug that’s doing the rounds!

Please accept the following as love

When Batty started Black Dog she did ask posters didn’t tell
another poster they will / have sent them a pm, it can cause other posters to think their troubles are of less importance.

Black Dog is to share with all

I hope I will be forgiven for saying this,

Hi all x

Joyce anything that causes us anxiety is not silly, anxiety is
anxiety no matter the cause x

RomRoot you say your GP ‘couldn’t get rid of you quickly enough ‘, did you take this as personal or understand GP’s
have a limited time with all patients?

Hope you find support from the crisis line x

Scaredycat hope you are ok now x

If I may speak about trauma, a trauma doesn’t only mean
being involved in or witnessing a disaster. We hear much about PTS suffers who have been in a war zone, I had it after
the Aberfan Disaster .

There are events in our childhood such as abandonment by a parent, witnessing physical abuse, being bullied etc.

A woman suffering a stillbirth can suffer PTS.

We must not judge ourselves, we must not tell ourselves ‘others
have more troubles than me’ , yes they do, but what troubles us
and causes us anxiety, depression etc needs understanding too.

I will shut up now , going shopping, on line, for a new iPad!

RomRoot please look in your inbox.

Some of us have been where you are and you can count on us t understand. Some post details so you know what they have been through, others don't feel able to do that but do know what you are going through.

Please be patient with the meds, they can take a couple of months to really kick in. Life throws some terrible things to some of us but somehow we find a way to carry on. I can't list all that has happened to me because I have a stalker but I do understand. At times I wonder what I did to get so much bad stuff but then I realise that is futile, can't change the past but I am now changing my future. You can do the same but it takes time and a degree of acceptance. Just hang in there and get help from wherever you can.

Scardycat your DGD gets through it because she has love and support. Just keep telling her life can improve.

Joce Those phone calls can be scary, just routine for them but they don't understand how frightening it can be. I suspect many of us have had those strange figures come up. I was once told I was an alcoholic because of a strange liver result but it must have been the meds they had put me on. I only, very occasionally drink and that is when I am with others, rarely at home!

GSM I am so glad you joined us in the BDG, your contributions are very positive and give hope to those in despair. Please stay with us.

Morning all.
So glad you’re getting help RomRoot. Will be thinking of you at 12 and wishing you well. x

joce, nothing silly about anxiety of any kind. If we could control it we wouldn’t have anxieties. I’m just glad you are feeling a bit better today. ?
RomRoot so pleased you came back to post. I’ve been thinking about you and wondering how you were getting on.
Glad you saw the GP and phoned the crisis line. I hope they are able to help you through this time. Please take care of yourself and keep safe.
Sleep well all x

Hello all and thank you for the support it's heartwarming to see a thread like this, certainly one on its own.

I went to see my gp for tablet review and to tell her everything. She couldn't get rid of me quickly enough.

She said there was nothing else she could do for me, that she was concerned and to go home and call the crisis line.

She was lovely though and so sympathetic and didn't just up the dose.

So have appointment for assessment tomorrow at 12.00. I really don't care what they suggest as long as it's not back on the waiting list for counselling.
I know it works for many but there aren't enough sessions for this stuff, it runs deep with rejection, abandonement, and attachment. I've not witnessed trauma and I'm so sorry for those that have.

Sorry RomRoot that should say hope you got some help today
My iPad doesn’t want to work for me today

Thank you all, I’m less stressed now..
Annie hope you are ok.
Doodle I’m silly I know but I was so scared, Hope are doing ok.
RomRoot hope you goose help today...
Scaredycat hope you got a good night sleep last night...
GSM thank you for thinking of me..
Wishing all the gang a peaceful nights sleep..
Thinking of you all
Keep plodding on all ?

Joce so a result only just out of range. I thought that’s why they would want a repeat to check if it’s gone down again. ?
Romroot can’t help wondering how you are today, I hope you did seek help and are being supported through this.
Annie hope you are doing ok today.
GSM so sorry to hear you have had times of such depression too. You are right. People love you and would miss you.
Nice and helpful post.
Scaredycat sorry the AF is playing up again. I’m glad you had a good day. Hope you manage to rest tonight and get to sleep then feel better tomorrow.
Sleep well all x

Hello all
RomRoot- I,ve just seen your posts. I,m so sorry that you feel so wretched. Please ,please take those steps to get help. Your family love and care for you but they cannot give you the specialist care that you need. I hope that you were able to get some peaceful sleep and that today you have felt able to take those first steps towards recovery. I am thinking of you- you are not alone
Joce - good news re the blood test. It’s certainly not silly to be worried but I guess like me you go into a bit of a tailspin if there is any sort of uncertainty. Hope you now feel a bit more relaxed.
Doodle,Nonnie,GSM.,EllieAnne,Bluesky,JPB ,Annie and all in BDG wishing you a good night. I,m feeling a bit grotty tonight as AF has kicked in after a busy day. Really enjoyed it but as usual if I feel ok I overdid it then pay the price
Sleep well allx

Well that’s good news isn’t it! So pleased. It’s not silly, I’m sure we all get stressed and fear the worst. Well I do anyway!