Gransnet forums


Black Dog 10

(1000 Posts)
Doodle Wed 09-Jun-21 22:03:08

Borrowing the wording from Anniebach, this thread is for the
support, understanding and sharing of all mental health troubles.

Doodle Wed 09-Jun-21 22:03:59

Hi Annie and all, I finished the last thread so started a new one on case anyone was lost.
Welcome to number 10

Anniebach Thu 10-Jun-21 09:24:39

Hi all x how is everyone one today?

I acknowledge Batty who started Black Dog, so many have sort
support here , thank you Batty x

Doodle Thu 10-Jun-21 11:01:17

Hello Annie. Hope you didn’t mind me starting number 10. I didn’t want anyone to be searching for us.
Today I go and collect my new specs. Very costly but needs must.
Will be dropping some clothes off at the charity shop on the way (lockdown weights hasn’t been lost so I give up now and buy a bigger size).
Hope you are ok. When is the Enabling person making contact? I saw someone on TV using a banana board the other day. Hope you can manage it when you get the chance.x

Hope all the gang are ok x

Puzzled Thu 10-Jun-21 16:35:27

Looks like some have misunderstood my posts on BlackDog 9.
Definitely NOT trying to force anyone to be cheerful.
The idea was to be supportive, and suggest that when down, thinking of an achievement can help to lift the mood.
"Nothing succeeds like success" and all that.

When things look black, remembering a success can help to lighten the mood
The darkest time is just before dawn.
So the rest of us try to bring the lightening sky forward..

Anniebach Thu 10-Jun-21 16:40:03

Puzzled May I ask who ‘are the rest of us ‘ ? Now I am puzzled .

Puzzled Thu 10-Jun-21 16:43:57

Having been taken to task for "Forcing people to be cheerful" and told that the thread is here to support. (Which I took as read. None of us want to kick anyone who is already down, but to try to help them up)
The "rest of us" is a catch all for everyone who wants and tries to help, surely.

Anniebach Thu 10-Jun-21 17:05:19

Thank you for your explanation Puzzled I cannot speak for
others on this thread but I do not like your ‘the rest of us’. or your ‘the darkest time is before the dawn’, I find it patronising.

On this thread we support because we experience/ have experienced dark times, many have been helped , not by ‘the rest’ but by those who know and understand .

Doodle Thu 10-Jun-21 20:13:44

Puzzled I am sure you only want to help but ‘the rest of us’ is not us here on this thread.
There are many out there who try and be bright and positive and the world needs them. On this thread we allow people to say how they feel without making them feel it is required to put a brave face on things or look for the silver lining.
I am sure you mean well but it’s not the spirit of this thread. Thank you for trying to help.

Doodle Thu 10-Jun-21 20:15:16

How have you been today Annie?
It’s been really hot here. Not achieved much today but have been to collect my new glasses from the optician.

Anniebach Thu 10-Jun-21 20:50:08

Hi Doodle. Not hot here in Mid Wales, cloudy all day. I am so
overdue for an eye test , have to have a home test so decided to
give it a miss last year, must have one this year, if I could walk
I would walk into doors !

Have decided to do something about boxes of photographs, looked at them yesterday for the first time in years, want to do
three albums for my grandchildren, problem is working out how to make two copies of the original.

Still waiting to hear if I am to have support to use the banana
board, you saw one being used ? Perhaps you understand why I need support to get use to it.

I want to apologise if I seemed unfriendly today, something
happened in the early days of Black Dog.

Anniebach Fri 11-Jun-21 09:55:32

Hi all x how is everyone today ?

I am still waiting to hear if I am to have support with the wretched banana board, how can it take three weeks to decide !

It is causing anxiety, everyday - ‘will they phone today’ come
5.00pm it’s - ‘will they phone tomorrow’.

Doodle Fri 11-Jun-21 10:28:16

Annie I too get worried about the smallest of things. Even having to plan out the day the shopping is delivered. Everything in your care seems to be taking so long. Hope you have news soon. x
I hope the others find us in our new thread. Take care all x

rafichagran Fri 11-Jun-21 10:40:14

Hi Annie I hope things start get better for you soon, I cannot believe how long it has taken for the wheels to get set in motion to help you and so many people involved, it must be overwhelming.
*Doodle thanks for starting the thread, it is so helpful to posters on here. I can say that.
I have not posted lately, but have been reading Black Dog and I wish everyone of you well.
I am a bit angry at the moment, I am totally stressed out with work, people keep telling me I am my own worst critic, everyone makes errors, but I check my work and double check to the point of OCD, and on the occasion I do make a error it's like the end of the world and I do not sleep because of it.
I also hate the fact people say, I work, and I dont get stressed, well that is you and this is me. I am waiting to get my state pension so I can retire. I am lucky in that I have a occupational pension as well. I am aware people dont have that, so I do feel guilty feeling like this. I have 2 years to work so the end is in sight.
Black Dog Is sometimes a life line for me to vent.

Nonnie Fri 11-Jun-21 11:06:12

Oh Doodle I'm the same. Had to choose a top to wear last night and couldn't believe how many I have accumulated! Shoes are another matter, I know and I don't care!!

How are the new specs?

We have to choose a new charity to donate our clothes to, the two we normally support have closed down their local shops.

Did you finish the bedroom? I'm ticking things off the list but the big job of hacking down the garden is weighing heave on my mind. Soon won't be able to walk down the steps!

Ellie Anne Good luck with the long drive.

Puzzled Thu 10-Jun-21 16:35:27 I see where you are coming from. Easy to misunderstand when not face to face.

Annie my eyes had deteriorated too, I had to take my specs off to watch TV or drive! So many things we now need to catch up on, my list is long.

Had to look up banana board, had never heard of it.

I just wonder if it is time to contact your MP? You have been struggling so long I think you need major intervention.

Rachifchagran You may well be your own worst critic but that is surely a good thing? Perhaps stop discussing it with those who don't understand? Perhaps your attitude to your work makes them feel guilty about not working so hard? I think it is a family trait with us, we are not competitive but we do like to get things right.

Went out last night, caught the train and then planned to get a taxi but DH decided he would try to walk and he hid. Physio is very happy with his progress.

rafichagran Fri 11-Jun-21 11:14:17

Thanks Nonnie I do do not discuss this with the colleagues I work with, but it has come up in conversation with other people,
who do not understand stress.
I take on board though about not discussing this with work colleagues though, as I think there chilled attitude is the better one. I wish I could be like it.

Anniebach Fri 11-Jun-21 11:56:25

rafichagran hello and hugs.

Please don’t ‘do’ guilt, but oh how difficult to try to change what
is really ‘who we are’ , we all make errors my love, I have made
some whoppers. Quite possibly those you work with are not as
chilled as they appear to be.

nonnie good news about your husband. I don’t make lists now, haven’t for ages, if I did I wouldn’t do the things on the list
anyway. Writing a list then checking it to see hardly anything
ticked done ? too depressing. When it comes to being organised I am back of the queue, use to drive my poor Mum
mad, more so because my three sisters always so organised, one day in despair she said ‘why can’t you be like your sisters’,
I said ‘because I’m left handed ‘, it made her laugh .

BlueSky Fri 11-Jun-21 12:15:18

Afternoon all x Are you enjoying our summer? I am and I’m not, like snow it’s lovely to see but how can you go out in it? As I got older I can’t cope very well with heat, while when I was younger I would be out there regardless of temperatures. To be honest this puts me off going abroad, we are not beach or pool people, so we usually end up walking around like the proverbial ‘mad dogs and Englishmen’.
Annie sorry to hear your problems are still there. Makes you wonder what actual help is there when you need it.
Nonnie good to hear about your DH’s progress. Well done!
Doodle you too a worrier? Never, you seem so calm cool and collected!
Rafichagran nice to hear from you.
Puzzled welcome!
Hope you’ll all enjoy your day x cafe

rafichagran Fri 11-Jun-21 12:40:27

Thank you Annie and Bluesky. I always feel Doodle comes across as calm, but I fully understand about the worrying.

Polly12 Fri 11-Jun-21 13:08:09

^Thank you for your explanation Puzzled I cannot speak for
others on this thread but I do not like your ‘the rest of us’. or your ‘the darkest time is before the dawn’, I find it patronising^
I had to smile at this, because I sometimes look at this thread as one of my daughters has extreme anxiety and depression. Overall, I have found it to be very ‘cliquey’ and unwelcoming. And very patronising, ironically - newcomers being asked questions, followed by, “my love” hmm
So, maybe listen to Puzzled and others, instead of remaining in your comfort zone.

Scaredycat Fri 11-Jun-21 13:15:00

Hi everyone
I would like to echo Annie’s words and say Thank You to Batty for starting BDG. It has become very important to me and I love the support and kindness shown on here by all of you.
Doodle - I wouldn’t have had a clue how to start a thread No 10 so thank you too. Hope the new specs are good. I have an eye test soon and hope they willbe able to use the frames I have
now. Sweating the small stuff is something I do all the time and nothing is too trivial to start me off😩 Supermarket deliveries
used to wear me out but at last I can now put it away without cleaning it all- so a bit of a positive.
Rafichagran- sorry you feel so stressed about work. I hate it when people say things don’t stress them out- that’s lovely for them but we are not all the same.the weekend is nearly here hope you can rest and get some chill out time.
BlueSky - I,m loving this beautiful weather but what I like is to be in the shade but feel the warmth around. I got a little pod chair to sit in the garden in the shade and I am very happy there. It certainly doesn’t put me off going abroad - if only.
Nonnie- we have to get used to chosing what to wear again don’t we- lockdown took all that hassle away .
Going to see my friend in a minute who I haven’t seen for 18 months so looking forward to seeing her . I am very anxious at the moment but want to see her more than I am nervous - a positive?
Love to all in BDGxx

Scaredycat Fri 11-Jun-21 13:19:13

Annie- so sorry that you are still in Limbo waiting for your help. No wonder you are anxious. I get very anxious if occasionally someone says they will phone back later so I can imagine the stress you are under. Hope today brings some

Anniebach Fri 11-Jun-21 14:02:52

scaredycat definitely a positive 🌻 enjoy your meet up with
your friend x

Anniebach Fri 11-Jun-21 14:07:29

Polly12 you and / or your daughter would be most welcome
as is anyone who has depression, anxiety, phobias, OCD etc.

Questions asked are to understand what is troubling the poster,
‘my love’ is my way of extending friendship.

Polly12 Fri 11-Jun-21 14:19:27

Well, I find it patronising. How you you help someone find a way through a difficult time if you haven’t managed to do that yourself?

This discussion thread has reached a 1000 message limit, and so cannot accept new messages.
Start a new discussion