Black Dog 10

Just wanted to let you all know GP has just phoned 2 o’clock ..
It’s my liver count, apparently it should be 76, mine is 77..
just need to calm down now, I know it’s silly, I’m sorry for this morning I just went into over drive with the phone call..
Thank you all..
will be back later

RomRoot I was so very sorry to read about how you’ve been feeling. I hope you feel a bit better today. Annie and Doodle have given you such wise advice. The Samaritans offer a wonderful listening ear whenever you need it, day or night, so never think you have no-one to talk to. I have had times of wanting to end my life too, such that at one time my doctor insisted someone else had custody of my epilepsy medication. What stopped me was knowing the terrible thing I would be doing to my wonderful son. I know you wouldn’t want to hurt your children or your husband either. I’m so very glad I’m still here, I know now life is so precious. It’s very difficult to think clearly when we are so unhappy isn’t it, but always remember you are loved and cherished by your family, in sickness and in health. They would never think you’re bothering them by wanting to talk, you are the most precious person in their lives. I pray that you will get the help you need to get back to happiness again. I did, lots of us did, and you can too. This bad time will pass, the black clouds will clear and give you sunshine again. Please let your friends here know how you get on after calling the assessment line and seeing the doctor.
Joce try not to worry, it’s not unusual for blood tests to be re-run as false readings happen and slightly raised levels of things that are perfectly normal on the next test.. Let us know what the doctor says.
Love to all. x

Hi all x

Joyce. You are not being referred for another blood test in a
couple of days or a week, it could be as Doodle explained.

RamRoot I couldn’t get back on last night , iPad trouble
again. It’s good you talked to your son , do open up to your GP
today please, and I do mean say exactly how you are feeling,
forget about being sectioned, my darling daughter attempted to take her life several times, she was never sectioned.

You are not a threat to anyone.

Please let us know how today went if you feel you want to,

We are here for you x

Thank you Doodle will feel better when docs phoned I hope

joce sometimes something shows up in the blood and they want it repeated to see if it’s there again next time. No need to worry it’s a precaution. I had an abnormal thyroid result twice and on both occasions the follow up test showed things were fine. If there is anything wrong it’s best to find out and get it treated quickly. Try not to worry.
Romroot hope you get some help today.

I’m scared this morning... I have had phone call to go for repeat bloods in a month should I be worried.. GP giving me a call back this morning I hope

RomRoot I am pleased to hear you are a little calmer.
I’m glad you have a son you can talk to but you do need proper help. People sometimes do things in the heat of the moment. Please know there are people who can help. If you get into a state at night or out of office hours, please phone the Samaritans and tell them how you feel. Don’t bottle it up. Hope you get the help you need. Feeling that bad is awful but you are not alone in feeling that way. Please take care x

Thank you so much. I rang my middle son, he is always a good ear, but you feel so guilty for bothering family.
Dd is at home she's 17, I worry what this is doing to her.

Have calmed down and thank you so much for the support. I will call the assessment line tomorrow irrespective of the gp appointment in the afternoon.

Romroot please please don’t do anything suicidal. Annie knows only too well the pain that can cause and I too know how it feels when someone you love so much feels like ending their life. Things can change. You can come through this.
Please listen to Annie she and Scaredeycat have been through such terrible times yet they are still here and will support you. I too will do all I can.
Please sleep but get all the help you can. We are here and we want you to be well. Don’t give up hope please.
Listen to Annie please she knows how you feel as do others. You are not alone. Please seek help. x

Keep telling yourself you will get through this because you
will .

Your GP will advise you and perhaps refer you a support worker, this is not anything to be afraid of, it will be steps to
recovering from this dark shadow , remember -

after darkness comes the sunshine , the sun will shine for you
my love, it really will x

Thank you so much. I've nobody to talk to and don't know how I can get better, I hate being like this.
I'll be ok when calm and probably sleep soon.

You don’t want to be dead, you want your illness to leave you,
it will my love x

RomRoot. Ring the Samaritans 116 123 now or take your
husbands advice.

Don’t let your mind race ahead, when a frighting thought comes into your mind say STOP,

Tell your GP all, if you can write it down, do not hold anything
back , let it flow if your leg was broken you would say how strong the pain is, same with your depression.

We are here for you x

I think I'm going to be sectioned tomorrow, don't know.
I'm getting no better and now feel suicidal, what will happen? I have to see the gp but dh wants me to call mental health assessment line.
Family said they have tried their best but don't know what else to do.
I'm scared my head is aching and can't stop crying. I just want to be dead.

Nonnie welcome back ?. Your post is brimming with joy, really lovely. Glad you had a good time with your family and they are coming back again soon.
Amazing how the garden grows so quickly.
Scaredycat I was pleased to hear your DGD has a lovely husband. Whatever they are going through they will get through together with support from an obviously loving family. I wish them both well
Annie do you know when your new glasses are coming? Mine are a lilac colour. I really like them. Makes a change from brown for me.
Thinking today and praying as always for all the gang who are sad, lonely or suffering. I hope good news and better days come your way soon. x

Hi all x

Welcome back nonnie so happy for you that you had a lovely
time with your family . x

Scaredycat your granddaughter is surrounded with love, this
can be healing, take care of yourself too x

Joyce we are here for you x

Hi all
Nonnie- Welcome back so glad you had such a lovely time with your family . Lovely times to look forward to as well. So nice to hear good news. Enjoy your hackathon !! We,re the worst gardeners in the world but love being outside in it.
Doodle- yes my DGD is going through yet another tough time . She has a lovely husband too who is hurting. They will get through it but it,ll take time. Thank you so much for caring.
Love to all BDGxxx

Hi everyone, I'm back. We all had a wonderful time and were able to go out and do things as the rules had changed just in time and DS & DiL are both fully vaccinated. The GC have grown up so much in so many ways so I hope we won't miss out as much in the coming year. They have already booked to come again in October and for Christmas.

I've read all your posts and it would take all day to reply to each one so please forgive me for not doing so.

Welcome JPB and Romroot.

I too put off housework if I can find something better to do! I love gardening although not as knowledgeable as you all are. I just hack and weed and see what happens!

Annie you've made progress, let's hope the doors come soon. Perseverance paid off.

Had a morning hack in the front garden now for a hackathon in the back one!

Scaredycat I’m so sorry for your DGD. Sounds as though she’s going through a tough time. She has her mum and you to support her. I’m sure she’ll make it through. We hurt when ours hurt don’t we. x

Hi gang
Thank you for your kind words. My GD has had an op and is back home now.She must now get strong again and deal with the emotional time ahead. I feel so sad for her.
Annie- Blue glasses will be lovely- glad MT approved. So sorry you couldn’t see her today hope you,ll be able to meet up soon. I too have the beginning of cataracts but they don’t present any problems as long as I wear my glasses!! Night driving is not pleasant either. The optician said most people show signs of them as they get older.
Nanny- I hope you feel a bit better today.
Doodle- have you had a walk today? It was lovely here but I had AF all day so just had a garden day .
Joce- sorry you are having problems - I hope things improve soon.
Wishing all BDG a peaceful nightxx

Hi nanny hope you are feeling a bit better today.
Annie, shame MT couldn’t come I bet you would have loved to see her. Sounds as though you are going to have some snazzy glasses. DH has cataracts too. Like you he can still see so no op.
Joce nice of you to pop in. Sorry your troubles are ongoing.
It seems to be a difficult time for many in the BDG.
Scaredycat hoping your DGD is ok and getting some help.
Take care all. We need each other. Keep in touch. X

Scaredycat hugs and prayers to you and your family.. xx

Thinking of you all, sorry not doing very good at the moment
Still thinking of all in the BDG take care...xx

Hi all x

How is everyone?

Had eye test this morning, flipping cataracts, decided no surgery as long as I can read iPad and see my garden.

Mini tornado couldn’t come, her boss told her this morning she had to cover lunch hours, 11.00 - 2.00, she is so upset but
did tell me ‘choose bright blue frames’ , which I did. The optician took of photograph so I could send to her for approval, she approved ?

scaredycat I do hope your GD is OK xx

gsm thank you. Your words are very wise and lovely
annie you are so right they find us. Fat cat bought binks home to me.
doodle yes I will get through it x