Black Dog 10

Nonnie- “Be kind” there is no greater gift to give or receive than kindness. In past terrible times the kindness of strangers was so appreciated by me and my children- it gives us all hope.
I remember that post you speak of- I,m so glad you are here.
Annie- we know you to be the kindest and most understanding of people and your story of the agoraphobic lady was uplifting.
I hope one day you can be outside to enjoy the fresh air and sun in your garden.
Just been walking this afternoon- the leaves look lovely now.
You need the council working near you like a hole in the head!!!!
Doodle- oh those parakeets must have been a sight to behold. We don’t see them where we live but my friend who used to live in Surrey used to have them come in her garden.
If only we didn’t overthink or ruminate - I,m waking so early at the moment and can’t go back to sleep as my mind is in overdrive. I don’t get up though but lie and tell myself it’s warm and safe and comfortable and I wait til morning- I do play the alphabet game as well.
Glad your legs feel better
Joce- hope you had a better morning today. 4am feels so lonely doesn’t it. I assume you meant online shopping!! Sometimes when my shopping is delivered I look at it and think what on earth shall we have tonight?
Love to all

Annie I realised you were talking about someone else but was glad to realise you believe it can be overcome. I pray that whatever trigger/assistance/whatever you need to get you out of the house will come at the right time for you.

Doodle I used to do the same but after a while it didn't work so now I go through the alphabet finding a word for each letter according to whatever subject I am using. Last night I couldn't find and animal beginning with N!

'Ruminate' now that struck a cord. When I was in hospital my psychiatrist said I did that although he didn't tell me how I could stop it!

Those parakeets must have been a wonderful sight, I remember them in Richmond Park years ago.

Glad the legs have improved.

No news from Nonnieland today

Hi all x

Council working in Cul de sac again, hope they don’t put electricity off again. Not starting with a positive am I ?

How is everyone? x

Doodle yes it does get better has the day goes on, but the mornings are really bad errrr. I will try doing times tables.
I go shopping at 4 o’clock in a morning, but never seem to have any food in the fridge ??
Thank you scaredy-cat I hope tomorrow is a better day I try to stay positive...
Nonnie it must be has bad if it comes on late in the day..
Annie I agree with Doodle you are there for us all always happy to listen..
Doodle glad your legs are better...
Night all sleep well

joce I feel for you not wanting to go to bed because of morning thoughts. Anxiety, worry and depression take a toll on us. When I was going through a really bad patch on waking, I made myself do my times table. Over and over to stop me thinking. Do you improve as the day goes on?
Scaredycat.
Yes winter always brings on the gloomy thoughts. Glad I don’t live in Norway where the winter days are so much longer.
DH does take some good photos. When he’s uploaded the squirrels I will post some,
For some reason today I was quite good on our walk and didn’t ache at all.
A very surprising thing happened. We were walking in a local park (a different one to the squirrels) when a group of at least 30 lime green parakeets flew past at great speed just in front of us. They were close to the ground and so near we could almost reach out and touch them. An amazing sight. Never seen more than 6 at any one time before,
Nonnie sounds like you too are having a similar problem as Joce but later in the day. Maybe like me you ruminate on things and the more you think the more there seems to worry about I think it is very important for us all to know that there are good times as well as bad. Anyway, it’s nice to hear those in the BDG who are feeling a bit better.
I think some of us (people I mean not necessarily the BDG) who empathise a bit too much. Some things I read touch me so much because I picture the suffering the people have and it brings me down. I’d be useless in a caring profession. I’d be in tears all the time. It’s a good job there are people out there who care but can also function in a practical and helpful way.
That’s a good post about being kind and so true. Helping others does in its own way help us.
Annie we know you weren’t writing about that woman to say you helped her (you never acknowledge how much help you have given to others including all of us on the BDG) but nevertheless, you did help her overcome a fear. Yes it can be done and we need to never give up hope.
Legs are better today for some reason thank you.
Hope everyone sleeps peacefully tonight and wakes without fear.x

Hi all x

When I spoke yesterday about someone overcoming agoraphobia I wanted to explain that such severe anxiety can
be overcome, it wasn’t meant to be about me but a woman who
had such severe anxiety she couldn’t leave her house yet she did leave her house even drove from London to Cornwall on her own.

BlueSky no post takes up valuable space, it’s wonderful to
know you are doing so well x

Doodle time of year, gloomy days, colder, dark evenings, sad
happenings add to it x how are your legs ? x

ScaredyCat keep walking my love x

Nonnie a positive post, thank you x

How is everyone?

BleSky I felt like that some time ago and so asked if the BDG wanted me to keep posting and they did. We can show that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Doodle yes, I understand how the things we read and see can make us dwell on the sad things, it gets to me too. I hope something better will come along to cheer you soon.

Joce I sympathise but don't have that, mine kicks in over the day. Perhaps someone has a suggestion?

Scardycat didn't get much done, not even all on the list but came home determined to feel positive that I had achieved something.

So, on that positive note there was something in my Facebook this morning for those who are depressed. It said 'be kind' and went on to explain how we should not wait for others to be kind to us but go out and be kind to others. I agree as it made me feel good when I was kind to someone yesterday. No, I didn't do anything special, just insisted a 93 year old took my seat in the bus shelter then had a chat with her. On the bus she asked me my name and told me hers. I think she was really happy to be treated as 'one of us' rather than an 'old lady'.

Another positive which I learned from a performance coach: We can't all win the gold medal but we can all beat our own personal best. I think that applies to all areas of our lives. A DS runs in a running club, he is always beaten by men of my age but that doesn't bother him, he beats his PB sometimes and that makes him feel good.

Well that was my positivity, let's hope I feel the same tomorrow!!!!

Joce- so good to hear from you and know that you are continuing to plod along despite those awful early morning feelings. Hope tomorrow is a good dayx
Nonnie- it must have felt so good to get home. I hope you feel a bit more rested now - it’s physical and mental strain you have been through. So kind of you to help someone in need.
Hope the Xmas shopping goes well- It’s not easy this year with so many closed shops and the big shopping centres still feel unsafe. Christmas seems to have come round so quickly too
Doodle- I,d love to walk in your squirrelly park. Your DH must take lovely photographs . Hope your legs aren’t so sore today. Sorry you feel melancholy - this time of year magnifies lots of emotions I think.
Annie- glad your brother was able to help you with the internet- it’s only when the power goes off we realise how much we rely on it.
Ah it would be wonderful if you could get out again- that person you helped was so lucky you were there to listen. You always speak so generously to help others.Maybe when the new doors go in they will help free you.
I feel very lucky I am able to walk as I do it certainly helps me deal with the anxiety that lurks constantly.
EllieAnne,Rafichagran and all BDG hope you sleep wellx

Evening all, I hope that I will always be able to join you lovely friends on BDG.
I never look forward to going to bed.. I know how I’m going to wake and I dread it, the morning anxiety is horrible some days better the others.. but there ever morning

Hi Nonnie no not rural really. The squirrels are all at our local park. They seem to like it there and must breed well. We probably saw at least 20 yesterday.
Good luck with the Christmas shopping. We still wear masks in shops.
Annie do you have any heat without electricity? I hope you didn’t get cold.
Yes of course when the power goes off so does everything else. Glad you’re back on line now though.
That’s a lovely story about you helping someone with agoraphobia. How wonderful you were able to help her get out and about again. I wish we could give you the same help.
I have been in a melancholy state of mind today. Sad about some things I have read in the papers about children suffering.
I wonder if my mind tends to dwell on sadness more than remembering happy times.
Oh Bluesky that’s wonderful news. I can’t tell you how pleased I am to hear you say you are doing better. Thank you for posting. It’s nice to know people are feeling ok. ?

Good after all x If you don’t see me on here is because I feel a bit of a fraud, at the moment my anxiety and depression are low, so don’t interfere with my day to day life. Sadly many of you are still battling with these so I don’t want to take up valuable space. I feel that if I come here just to chat about my day I should be on the Good Morning thread instead. Having said that I do read the BD and think of you all. Have a good afternoon x

Hi all x

Couldn’t join you yesterday, electric went off in the Cul de sac,
off for few hours. When back on no internet connection, phoned company and was told to turn router off then on, couldn’t get to hall to do that so had to wait for brother to come to do , he came late evening!

Nonnie there is no word for us, x

Joyce at times ‘keep plodding ‘is all we can do, I tell myself
‘This too will pass’ but there are things such as grief which doesn’t pass. Remember we are here for you, you are not alone x

ScaredyCat oh those racing thoughts on waking , and on
waking in the night ! I get mentally exhausted, horrible x

Doodle how lovely to see those squirrels, they are so beautiful. The problem with your legs sound muscular does it?
I cannot remember how many have posted here, so many since
Black Dog started. I see some posting on other threads and they seem ok, many have left the forum. I would love to know if they are ok.

When AOL had a forum we had a thread for mental health, I so
remember someone who had agoraphobia , there was a bombing of a London train, her son was on it, she was frantic, he wasn’t hurt but she was in despair, if he was hurt how could she get to him. We worked out a recovery programme together, she had my mobile phone number so we started with her walking out the front door, then through the front gate, both clutching our mobile phones. Wish I could put into words how I felt when she sent me a photograph of her and her husband standing on a high building. She eventually travelled from London to Cornwall to visit another person who was agoraphobic. I had no idea how it was to be agoraphobic then.

To all, yes I keep on about walking , it helps with depression and anxiety but it also keeps agoraphobia away. I am agoraphobic but it started because I chose not to go out because of the reaction of some to my darling daughter’s illness and suicide. It’s so sneaky, we can start by choosing not to go out but this can become to fearful to go out. So ?
keep walking x

Doodle I think you must live somewhere quite rural for the squirrels to be so friendly. We get the odd one in our garden but not as many as in some previous houses.

Got a day off volunteering today so about to go to the shops and start looking at Christmas presents. Need to get it all sorted in the next few weeks as December is going to be quite busy.

Big hugs to all

My legs ache tonight. High up where they join my body. I’m sure it’s muscular but can’t think of any particularly strenuous activity I’ve undertaken to cause it.
Went for a walk today and was surprised at how warm it was. Some of the trees are a lovely colour now and DH had his trusty camera with him. We got mobbed by squirrels. I assume they wanted some nuts. They are very tame and one ran up my leg twice. They jump off if you move but we have to be careful not to tread on them as they run round your feet.
Was just sitting thinking about all the people who have posted on this thread over the years and how they have got on. Annie would remember far more than me.
Take care all and sleep well. x

Joce that’s ok. Even though you’re not posting we are thinking of you. Plodding’s ok if you’re coping. Sometimes it’s all we can do.
Scaredycat I have seen pictures of the Red Hat Society in the newspapers. They all looked very jolly.
We must have started work around the same time. Purple was the colour of the time and I loved it.
I wish you could sleep better. It’s a vicious circle really. We worry which keeps us awake and being tired makes things worse. Hope you get a better night.
Hi Nonnie Don’t worry about catching up just nice to have you back. It doesn’t sound as though you enjoyed London much and are happier back at home.
I think somehow we can cope with the busyness of life and the fast pace when we’re younger but when we get older we want a slower more peaceful pace.
Annie hope you are ok.
Thinking of Ellie Anne and Bluesky rafichagran and others. Hope your day is a good one.

Hi all, I'm back and have read all your posts but don't feel up to replying to them all, sorry.

I am so very tired. I hated being in London, so noisy and dirty. We had an Airbnb which was immaculate but, of course, the rooms were very small and the people above kept moving the furniture, or so it sounded. We only went out when necessary, it was all about helping someone out, not a holiday. I cannot believe I used to work in The City!

So glad when we got off the train into the fresh air and that our home is so peaceful.

Annie one of my readings last week had a piece about there being no word for parents who have lost their child, no widow, orphan etc. Made me think.

Evening all
Annie- so sorry you didn’t get to see MT but as usual she had your welfare at heart.
It might not officially be winter but it sure is starting to feel like it- I really don’t like the cold and dark.
I like the poem too. My sister in law used to belong to the Red Hat society which I believe got it’s name from the words of the poem which mention wearing purple and a red hat. They used to wear red hats for all their meetings and outings!! They had a really good time from what she said.
Hope you are ok today Annie.
Doodle- I had a purple coat with a black fur collar when I first started work - snap!!
Hope your achey bits have improved by now and that you enjoyed your walk into town. Nice to live near enough to do that.
I,m feeling very tired at the moment as am still waking so early with the dreaded racing thoughts. So many things to think about right now.
Hope all the rest of the gang are ok and wish you a peaceful nightxxx

Hello all, I’m hear in the back ground.
Annie I love the poem when I grow old I’m not so keen on purple, I love green and don’t like the dark nights.
Doodle springtime is my favourite time I love the sun but new things springing to life beautiful time of year ..
Hope everyone else is doing ok.
Sorry I don’t feel like talking much.. but I’m plodding on that’s the mane thing I suppose...

Hi Annie better today but I’m still a bit achy and tired.
I don’t like winter much either. Too cold and dark.
I like Autumn and Spring best. Love watching the new buds open up and then the leaves changing colour, I love a good crunch through the leaves on the ground too.
I had a long purple coat when I was in my 20s. A bit like a Cossack coat with black toggles and a black fur lined hood. I loved that coat, always felt good wearing it. Still love purple.
Going to walk into town soon. I used to do it with ease but need to walk slower these days.
Hope everyone is ok. Take care all x

Hi all x

On waking this morning I said to my dogs, ‘ I am fed with winter and it’s only just started’. ! Then remembered winter doesn’t start until December, duh.

Doodle hope you are less tired today. I love that poem
‘When I Grow Old I Shall Wear Purple’, my younger daughter
bought me a purple Wooly hat for my 60th birthday!

How is everyone?

That’s good Annie . I don’t like the idea of you being cold.
It’s a shame you won’t get to see MT but she is obviously trying to keep you safe.
I know you have a great love of poetry Annie and I’m glad you are comforted by it. I sent my friend a copy of the poem about when I am old I will wear purple as we were discussing getting older.
Yes I heard the Northern lights were visible. Did you get to see any?
Your career sounds as though she has a good sense of humour. I love call the midwife too.
Quick visit from me tonight, I think the effects of the booster have caught up with me and I ache a bit and am very tired. Early night I think. Love to all the BDG xx

Hi all x

Doodle don’t be concerned, i am not cold, have a borrowed
oil heater next to the sofa, I will buy one but unsure which one
to buy.

I have a remote control for the heating, the problem is it controls all the radiators, so to keep the bedroom low all rooms
are low, takes about hour and half for them to warm up or down, as I have to sleep on the sofa I want the room cool at night, so have to sit in a cold room in evening and morning.
I keep the rooms on low heat and the living room radiator is off and the oil heater on .

My Mini Tornado is here for the weekend but won’t call because she has a cold. I do miss her so much. x

Scaredycat yes dogs make lovely hot water bottles. x

Wish I could explain to all how important poetry is for me, no
matter what troubles or upsets me I reach for my books.

But oh how I miss walking, the Northern Lights were visible from my mountains last Friday and I so wanted to be up there to see them.

Have a giggle at my expense please, I told my helper I loved
‘Call The Midwife’ because of Sister Monica Joan, she said
‘That’s no surprise, poetry and the stars ‘ ?

How is everyone?

germanshepherdsmum hope you had a good day in the garden. We went for our Covid booster today. We decided to walk to the centre and back. It was really chilly but we were well wrapped up
The man who gave us the jab was so good at it I didn’t realise I’d been done till he moved away. Ok so far.
Annie is your MT coming to see you soon? I’m worried about you being cold this winter. Do you have any other heating in your kitchen and bathroom?
Scaredycat we seem to spend all our time worrying about our children and grandchildren. I wonder if our parents were the same? I know mine loved me dearly but I never thought about them worrying about me. I expect they did. You never stop being a mum or grandma do you?
GSM. Don’t leave your marbles laying around, you might slip ?
Yes nothing like a dog for a good cuddle ?.
Take care all x

Hello,all
Ellie Anne- I,m sorry your friends husband died but please don’t feel guilty for your unhappiness. There is no easy solution to your problems but I,m sure you will do the right thing for you when you are ready. So glad you are able to spend time with your son and his family - they must be so precious to you. Life is difficult for young people at the moment they must be so glad to have your support.
Rafichagran- good to see you
GSM- you have great compassion and understanding . Your marbles are far from lost!!!
Doodle- yes that flu jab does make you sleepy doesn’t it- hope the Covid jab goes OK. My sister had them both on the same day one in each arm and felt unwell for a day but that’s all.
Annie- hope you are not too cold today and have some means of keeping warm. Dogs make lovely hot water bottles don’t they.
You always find just the right thing to say to everyone and endure your hardships with such good grace - sending hugs
Love to allxx

Hi all x

Doodle hope the booster jab goes ok x

Ellie Anne is renting a small property impossible ? And I will
ask again sorry, has your husband become so difficult recently
or was he always so but it didn’t trouble you because you had
your children at home ?

How is everyone ?