Help to occupy my husband who has Alzheimer’s.

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Duh. Just seen that it's an ancient thread

We made my Dad a memory box. Just a box with lots of different things in related to his life. He was in the RAF, so we included some little metal aeroplanes we found in a charity shop. A tiny book of poems - he couldn't read the tiny writing but spent quite a lot of time looking at the pages. He was an engineer, so we put some butterfly screws and little bits that could be screwed together, a little spanner for undoing things. Children's meccano pieces are ideal. We made a few small picture books with pictures of family, and photographs he had taken around the world, places he loved at home in Scotland.

The box sat by his chair. We never offered it but now and again when he was bored he would suddenly pick it up and start rifling through it and depending on what mood he was in different things would grab his attention.

butterandjam this thread is four years old we don’t know if the gentleman is still with us or not unless granniesunite comes back to tell us how it’s been going

butterandjam 4 year old thread, revived by scammer, so OP is probably in a different situation now.

Granniesunite

My first time starting a thread so first off apologies if I’m making mistakes….

I’m struggling to help my husband who has Alzheimer’s fill his time on a daily basis.He has some awareness of what’s going on around him and has just started struggling with language,but I usually know what he really means when he uses the wrong words.

I encourage him to look at photos of family and friends, old work colleagues, I help him type messages to family and friends on his phone, I’ve tried jigsaws, cooking, baking, colouring a picture etc he’s just not interested.

Old films or documentaries can help for a short time as does a short walk but I’m hoping someone out there will have more ideas for me. I’m running out of them.

Many Thanks

That sounds very tough, OP.

<https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/your-dementia-support-services/activity-groups>

Are there any local ones ? Your local library and council may have details. Just a few hours once a week would be a break for both of you.

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At one of our a activities group, we have found that those painting books that just use water are well received. I think they may be called Magic Painting books.

A wee update. Post this morning from amazon, painting by numbers, word searches so a busy day trying these out and the m4d radio is a huge success. He loves it as I do too.. I play on the ipad no fiddling around with cd. Fab. Im now just waiting for news that a befriender had been found.
I can't thank all you ladies enough for you help and I wish you all good things and a wee prayer for all your help.

So grateful for all the advice ladies. I feel more confident now in accessing different media, creative and outdoors suggesting to help my husband stay calm and happy in the moment. He deserves no less. Ive contacted my local AS. I'll update as we progress on this journey. Xxx

Your local AS will be getting into gear again now. You could see if they have any Carer' Support and Information Programmes. I help on those and everyone says how brilliant they are and how much information there is on them.

granniesunite. I’ve just had a little weep thinking of you both. My mum had vascular dementia.
izabella beat me to it with swimming. There was a quiet hour at the local pool and, formerly a great swimmer, it took my mum back to happier times. She wore a swimsuit under a fleecy cotton (absorbent) tracksuit and my dad swam with her. He drove her home in swimsuit and tracksuit. She would have a very peaceful nap afterwards.
Noisy places were a Nono. She enjoyed going to a local park and eventually borrowed their wheelchair in the botanic garden area. She watched the goldfish and butterflies. Taking a flask became easier than going into a cafe and again was something we all did when younger. We used to park up outside the local play park and tennis court and she watched the children and the tennis players -making some very acid comments about the standard of tennis.
Wartime music and nursery rhymes annoyed her but the Tony Blackburn era and dance music cheered her up.
She could no longer do craftwork but still enjoyed Countdown and Millionaire and often got the answers even though she didn’t know the date.
She loved going for chips and/or ice cream so we would go to MacDonald’s drive through (other fast food places are available!) and sit in the car with our purchases. Home often for a nap.
Potting up plants in the garden was always a success, if messy.
Overstimulation and understimulation was a balance that changed over time.
Sadly she found the children annoying if they asked her questions to interact but they learned to do a “show and tell” conversation where she wasn’t struggling to answer or understand, so did we.
My dad struggled to leave her and go out on his own for a break but would go out with my husband if mum fell asleep and I was sitting with her. I could phone my husband to come back quickly if she woke up.
I hope I haven’t written too much but one thing might trigger another idea for you and be helpful. If you are in Scotland the Crossroads charity used to send a befriender once a fortnight to sit with mum. Dad didn’t like it initially but after a while he had a routine of what he could do in that time. I think he sometimes just sat on a bench looking at the river but he took a while to learn to relax.
Looking at photos was sometimes good sometimes upsetting but YouTube is good for “visiting” places you used to love.
Sorry if this is too long. You are welcome to pm me if you wish. Come back and chat to us. You will get lots of support.
My last point is, try and build in breaks for yourself, a quiet cup of tea early in the morning, a book to turn to if he is snoozing.
You both have my very best wishes.

Thank you all for being so helpful he does a lot of hoovering and watering the plants, quite happy to do that washing the car can be a bit more stressful, for me thu not him. (smile).
Im so grateful to you all for your help and wish you all good things.

izabella hope you're well and still enjoying life. The outdoors is so good and we walk everywhere.
Best wishes.

Welcome granniesunite. I think I have the gist of this thread after discussion with my friend. I have early Alzheimer’s so I hope the following will help you:
Music helps. I enjoy the outdoors and peace and quiet. Crowds and noise are no no’s. I have found a dementia friendly swimming session which is free for carers. We have joined a pottery group. I am enrolling in a 1:1 woodturning session (god help the tutor I say ?. Other people find colouring books helpful. An animal farm may have dementia friendly sessions - ask around. Donkey therapy is very calming. Sadly I had to give up my horses so
E years ago but animals are a great support. I have started painting again although my concentration is not what it was. If your husband is not artistic you could suggest painting by numbers. Lots of kits on Amazon apparently. There are things out there but you have to find them. I know there are lots of negative reports of GP’s and I can identify with this. They do not know what to do with us! And I speak as a retired medic

I wish you both well.

If he’s still physically fit then routine outside jobs worked well with a male relative.

He painted the fences - more than once-and mowed the lawn with an old fashioned push along mower (not electric or petrol), spread shingle on the drive, washed the car.

The trouble with a lot of passing the time stuff is that it does require some level of thought and concentration.

I can see why fishing would work well.

I’d say music, too. I don’t know if he ever danced but apparently many can remember dance steps after all else fades. A nice little dance round the room? I can’t add anything much to what others have said except best wishes and hugs for you.

I watched a programme a while ago (could have been before Covid but it's hard to remember) where people with Alzheimers were taken back to recreate their life before diagnosis and it seemed to help - go with the flow rather than try and explain the present. Someone went fishing with his grandchildren - that sticks out in my memory. The grandchildren if I remember accepted how their grandparent was more easily than their parents. Repetition also seems to help a bit more than stimulation so if you find something he enjoys then maybe develop a routine including photos, old films, old music, a walk. It doesn't have to be labour intensive just maybe what interested him in the past?

It might not be any use but my aunt with Alzheimer's found great joy in rug making... something that she would have done as a young woman ....it might be therapeutic. I really hope that some of the lovely suggestions on here help.

You’ve had brilliant suggestions I can’t add to, even though my Mum had dementia, I wish you good health, strength and patience x

Thank you kitty I contacted The Alzheimer’s society a few months ago.They were very helpful with suggestions during the lockdown but COVID held things back.

Recently they put me in touch with a carers charity who are now trying to match my husband with a volunteer for befriending. I’m very grateful to them and hope it won’t be too long a wait.
So very helpful of you to post the music link. I will have a good look at that.

Im so grateful for all the kind suggestions on this thread as
Alzheimer’s is such an cruel illness and I’m not the most patient of people, I do struggle to stay calm at times.
I know now I need help.

www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/dementia-talking-point-our-online-community

The link for Talking Point.

I don't know if you have children or grandchildren. Did he sing to them, either in the home or in the car? Nursery rhymes? Kiddie songs like The Mouse in Old Amsterdam. Did his parents sing to him? My dad used to sing musical hall songs to me as a child. Daisy, Daisy and My Old Man Said Follow The Van etc.
I think Spotify carries all kinds of music. Could you make up a playlist? Does your DH have siblings who could tell you about the music in his childhood? For me, evocative music might be the theme from Champion the Wonder Horse or Rawhide.
Lastly does he watch Talking Pictures TV - old films from 40s and 50s, TV series from 60s and later.
Good luck, Granniesunite

musicfordementia.org.uk/news-and-media/news/m4d-radio-launches/

Please don't rely too much on your gp. Please contact the Alzheimer's Society if you havent already.

There are some Alzheimer's music stations- will try to find a link.

whiff Old spice was his choice of aftershave many moons ago. I’ll try that one too. Thanks.

Now that things are opening up again Visgirl I’m hoping for more input from my GP.

And yes music Kali2 has a positive effect on him it calms him and me too.

Thanks ladies I’ve got a good few ideas to try out now.