Help to occupy my husband who has Alzheimer’s.

What was his job?

My sympathies to you both granniesunite. It’s a hard road that you travel. You don’t mention music which he enjoyed or will remember. That often helps.
If you contact the Alzheimer’s Society who have lots of advice and information leaflets as well as an online support group who you can talk to when things are hard.
They may have a day centre close by that he could attend, which gives him a change of scenery and you a break.

If your husband doesn’t already have a Care Manager from social services you could get in touch with them fir support and advice about other options locally. There might be a memory cafe which you can both go to to meet others in a similar situation.
If anyone offers help, friend, family, neighbour, organisation, always accept it. You are not alone.

Granniesunite- how I feel for you. Do you have any day centres where he could go once or twice a week to give you a break? Or family and friends who can take it in turn- even if just to sit with him watching old films he enjoys?

I have no experience at all with this- so not sure what I can say. As kitty says- what was his profession? Did he have any specific interests or hobbies you could adapt to his current situation.

silverlining has lots of info for help available Granniesunite I agree as well about accepting help where it is offered. Short bursts of activity are better than a sustained one. Don't feel you have to occupy him every minute sometimes he will just want to be. I wish you both well.

I agree with others there is lots of help out there but you have to find it A day centre once or twice a week also, there are charities like the Alzheimer’s society that do befriending schemes and someone will relieve you while you go shopping or get your hair done, free of charge (not your hair or shopping I mean their services) The internet or local sites will give you lots of ideas If he was a friendly chap he will love someone different to talk to however he manages to talk.

My friend has a male neighbour who takes her husband for a walk once a week and he also gets taken to walking football
Our local theatre has a day for Alzheimer’s and their carer cups of tea, chats with others in a similar situation, it sounds a lovely day to look forward too
As sodapop says don’t feel youre the only one to occupy him you re obviously trying very hard but get as much help as you can
Well done for starting a thread it’s a bit daunting isn’t it at first and good luck

There is some amazing stuff on the internet. The Daily Sparkle looks fantastic but it's very pricey.
Simple tasks that you do with grandchildren - cooking cakes, art and crafts, old songs (Tony Blackburn does a R2 show Sounds of the 60s, there's a Sounds of the 70s too on R2), puzzles

Puzzle books on Amazon. These are cheap. Any good?
The Easy and Relaxing Memory Activity Book for Adults: Includes Relaxing Memory Activities, Easy Puzzles, Brain Games and MorePaperback

The Fun and Relaxing Adult Activity Book: With Easy Puzzles, Coloring Pages, Writing Activities, Brain Games and Much MorePaperback

And a pupil maths website has interactive games
www.mathsisfun.com/games/index.html

What were his interests before? Did he like playing cards or listening to music and could he do it now? Did he have a favourite sport he could watch on TV? Is he still active enough to visit family or sit outside in the summer? There’s often a cricket or bowling match to be found locally which passes time sociably. I agree with getting him out to a dementia cafe or carers group if he’ll go. You can usually be picked up and being with other people will cheer up both of you.

Many thanks for such quick replies ladies. So kind of you.

He was in the emergency services kitty and some old colleagues have contacted him in the past but that’s fallen away now
. I understand people have their own lives and after covid we’ve all got a lot of catching up to do.

silverlinng Yes music is a great stimulant I do use it and have made enquiries re a memory cafe through Alzheimer’s Society who were very helpful during covid .The memory cafe isn’t open again yet but I’m keeping a watchful eye..

Kali2 Thanks for your concern .. Yes we try all of your suggestions with friends and family and it does help..

sodapop I think that’s what I’m trying to do keep him occupied at all times.

He’s also turned against his once very much loved golf and I have no idea why. Is it because he can’t play now by himself ? His golfing pals were happy to take him out for a game but he’s not for that at all in fact it causes him anxiety.

Again many thanks for your kind replies.

I looked after my dad in our own home brought him to live with us he had vascular dementia/ Alzheimer’s, I found he really enjoyed cats games like snap, patience was another card game, he loved jigsaw puzzles, but his favourite was the extra large print word search books, he would spend ages finding the words, kept him amused for hours

Granniesunite, I’m so sorry to hear that your husband has Alzheimer’s Disease, it is a horrid and cruel illness.
My mother had it, I used to flick through fashion magazines with her, as fashion was her career background, commenting on the look, asking her if she thought the colour was nice, simple questions. If she looked a bit confused I’d move on to a different question.
Perhaps some magazines related to your husbands career or hobbies, easier to flick through than to try to read a book.
I did sing with her quite a lot and even in the later stages when she didn’t even know me she still remembered all the lyrics to many old wartime songs. Probably more sixties and seventies music in your case.
Singing always cheered her and we’d often laugh if I got the words muddled.
I did find that trying to get her to remember things that she couldn’t would distress her. My sister often did this, almost as a test of how well or badly she was doing.
Same sister now has the disease herself and is in a home. I haven’t been able to visit due to restrictions but hope to see her soon.
There are many on here with experience and greater knowledge. The suggestions so far seem very helpful. I agree wholeheartedly with this who suggest you say YES to all help offered, otherwise it can be a long and lonely road. Good luck.

Card games not cat games

Gransnet at its best. Loads of replies…Thank you so much for all the help ladies.

I’ll be checking out the web sites and Amazon and I’m looking at befriending service and hoping they can match him with someone but volunteers are hard to find they say so it might take some time.

We listen to radio 2 and love Tony Blackburn he’s our era and if his team are playing then yes I encourage him to watch.

I’m so glad I started this thread yes bluebell it’s daunting but it’s cheered me up no end this afternoon.(smile)

Again thank you ……

I assume that you have contacted the Alzheimer's Society. Their Dementia Support Workers are brilliant.

As someone said up thread, Talking Point on the AS website is a very helpful site. It is forum mostly used by Carer's.

The reason I asked about his previous occupation was that it is often helpful to find something related to keep people living with dementia occupied. For instance, I heard of a retired bank worker who would count money continuously. His wife found it a peaceful time and he was really happy doing it.

Button boxes work for some people.

But, your best bet is the Alzheimer's Society. They can advise on benefits (eg Attendance Allowance, Council Tax reduction, Carer's Allowance) and about the facilities in your area

That good Granniesunite, we are always here if you want to offload or just chat. My mum had Alzheimer’s so I do understand. All the best x

Plan for yourself to, to get respite.
Important that he can be used to others whilst you are out doing other things as it is for you to have time out.

Hello, Granniesunite, I'm so sorry to hear that your DH has Alzheimer's, my sisters and I cared for our DM with this heartbreaking condition for many years.

A Contented Dementia by Oliver James was recommended to us by the Alzheimer's support group. It is an interesting read , you may find it helpful.

I notice that you say some things cause your DH anxiety, this also happened a lot with our DM. We found that the book had good explanations and ideas about how to frame conversations and allow the person "processing time" before saying anything else. Sorry I don't know how to send a link, but it is available on A****n.

Wishing you both well, we just want our loved ones to be as contented as possible.

Does he like music. There have been lots of studies done that find that music can help a lot with Alzheimer's sometimes it even brings back some of the memory albeit for a short time. It is also said that it can calm anxiety.

My father had Alzheimers way back before most people had ever heard of it called that. The GP just told my Mum it was early onset dementia but it definitely wasn't. When he was moved to the Residential Home it was on his records as Akzheimers and my Mum didn't even know what that was.
This was back in the 1980's. I have a fear of inheriting it so I am very keen to try to keep my brain working as much as possible which is why I do social media and play puzzle games. I hope you find something that will help him.

If you/he like Tony Blackburn, try Boom Radio. It's music for the baby Boomer generation. Some adverts but not too bad.

Many thanks ladies for your suggestions…. It’s a horrible illness and I will accept all and any help offered to me. Best wishes to you.

Granniesunite my son in laws great uncle had Alzheimer's. He didn't want to shower and one visit my son's in law's dad was wearing Old Spice . He remembered the smell and liked it after they got him Old Spice shower gel he showered everyday. Not saying your husband won't shower.

But perhaps smells might spark some memories. Not just shower gel or after shave but perhaps sweets , biscuits , fruit or flowers etc. Things from when he was growing up or things from your courting days.

Hope that gives you another idea.

My MIL had it, she was in Scotland, tbh the Scottish support was OK but not to the standard we expected. They have the They own system, wasn't impressed on that set up!
However she went x3 a week to a local Support group, as a routine. She needed some routine in her life.

They have support groups in England please ask GP practice or Age UK for info.
However you need a break too, please, please make sure you get all the support you can. Just ask, the GP can give you this info,

I know that there are comments about GP 's don't act, but they will. Just ask for a referral to community health for assessment. They will put something into place.
I wish you the best of luck. And remember to take care of your self. You are the carer and if you have no carer you have a major problem!

Music is amazing with Alzheimers as said above. Children's songs, or any from singers or groups he loved before he became ill.

We did this with my mother-in-law - bought a CD of children's songs from her home country, in her mother-tongue- the reaction was just wonderful and long-lasting.

whiff Old spice was his choice of aftershave many moons ago. I’ll try that one too. Thanks.

Now that things are opening up again Visgirl I’m hoping for more input from my GP.

And yes music Kali2 has a positive effect on him it calms him and me too.

Thanks ladies I’ve got a good few ideas to try out now.