Black Dog 11

Feeling pretty bad today. So big apologies for self pity, most especially knowing how many of you have such bad stuff. 2 medical appts in post today. I Gynae, I for colonoscopy. Bad pain and running to bathroom for 2 hrs. Same last week. Was sent for this 5 months ago but afraid to go. DH still in pain after hip replacement. I don't think we'll ever be the same again. No one will ever be held to account for my situation. All I ever do is say sorry for being so selfish. How can I help anyone here when I feel so broken. Sorry

Sweetpeasue, I just wanted to say that I’m thinking of you and am so sorry that you are having such a rough time. Sending you all my best wishes.

I don't know you Ali23 but thankyou, your concern is so very much appreciated.

Sweetpeasue no need for apologies and it is not self pity. You are not being selfish and your worries are just as important as anyone else’s.
We don’t compare ourselves with others on this thread, everyone is entitled to sympathy and caring. You have been through a bad time and are anxious and worried. You can always come in this thread and say how you feel.
I hope you will attend your appointment but can understand your reluctance as things have not gone well in the past.
You don’t need to worry about helping others. Sometimes things happen where a kind word from you will help. Just like the kind post from Ali23 has helped you tonight.

Scaredycat we’ve not been out today as we had a chap come to measure up for some blinds. DH misses his daily walk if we don’t go out. I’m still going through photos. Don’t know how we have amassed so many. Hope you are ok.
Annie and all the gang, Hope you have a peaceful night. x

Sweetpeasue Sorry you're going through all that. You're certainly not being selfish x

Annie, Doodle, Nonnie, Scaredycat, anyone I've missed Hope your day is starting off well. I don't know why, but I feel really flat and miserable already. I can't be bothered to do anything. Perhaps I'll liven myself up later x

Hi all x

Sweetpeasue May I explain about Black Dog, it was started by
a poster Batty for mental health problems, depression, anxiety, phobias, any thing that caused these. This is the 12th thread.

The start of every thread says what Black Dog is for, it includes
the word support, this does not mean ‘ join us and give us support’, everyone who has posted on Black Dog do so because
they are troubled, so many have come and gone, some have stayed.

There are no rules ! well there is one , never apologise for saying how distressed you are , never, ever apologise my love,
you are troubled so you have found the courage to share. Do keep sharing x

Now I am going to share friends. Have been having problems with bowels since last Thursday, have telephoned surgery this
morning for a GP call back.

I am dependent on liquid replacement meals, since last Thursday after every meal - the loo, well the bedpan ! I am so
concerned it’s the meal replacement is causing it,5ft.7 and weigh six and half stone, can’t lose an ounce . So yes I am very
worried. Will let you know friends after spoken to GP.

How is everyone?

Thanks Doodle I did have a good potter, the buses came like personal taxis and I found a wonderful bargain plus I got all the things I wanted and only collected my book from Waterstones without looking at any others. That is a real achievement for me as I'm a Waterstones addict!

Keep up the walking

Scardycat oh yes, he has his mancave which I don't go in, it is chaos! Whoever said 'I married for life and not for lunch' was correct especially at the moment when social life is nil. We spend the evenings together and sometimes do things in the daytime, planning the park this afternoon to get him out and about.

Our shops are OK, a few individuals but mostly chains. I wish we had a wool shop though.

Sweatpeasue please don't apologise for not helping us, have you ever thought that it helps us to listen and feel useful to you?

Please get that colonoscopy as offered, I had one and it put my mind to rest. If there is something wrong it is better to get it done rather than let it get worse. Same with the other one.

Stress makes pain worse so please take all the help you can. I hope you have told your GP how you are feeling.

Welcome Ali23. I'm wondering why you were looking at this thread, do you need support? That is what this thread is for and you will get it if you need it.

Doodle Mon 24-Jan-22 23:57:34 you put it so well, I second that.

HVDY I think we all recognise that feeling, perhaps it is time to just let things go and rest.

Annie good luck with the GP. Can you have more substantial meal replacements? Oh, you have probably thought of that.

I'm all behind today but don't mind because we had a lie in and then DS video called for about an hour. Lovely chatting about nothing in particular, lots about the GC and how well they are doing. I think working from home has been good for their family.

Annie so sorry about your problems. You always support others. I hope the GP comes back to you soon. You hardly weigh anything and I agree you can’t afford to lose more.
I wonder if they’ve changed an ingredient in the replacement meals that has brought about your bowel problem. Of course you’re worried as we all would be but hopefully the GP will find out what’s wrong.
Lovely description of the purpose of the Black Dog Gang.
HVDyou sorry you are feeling low today. Sometimes we improve as the day goes on. I hope that happens for you.
Try going for a walk or coffee somewhere. Any plans for something to look forward to?
Nonnie I love Waterstones too and browsing round. Glad you had a good time and the buses were kind to you. A shopping bargain too. A good day I think.
Have a nice time at the park. I would like a wool shop too. Actually would love a haberdashery store. We used to have one but it closed down years ago when the owners retired.
Your chat with your son must have done you good.
Have a good day all. x

the GP telephoned, I am to only eat rice cakes for a couple of days then try Ensure fruit drinks. If same problem then some tests .

Annie That's terrible for you. You must be so light and fragile. Hope the Dr's advice is helpful. Rice cakes don't sound too appealing to myself but my little aunt almost lives on them.
Going to be very hard to stop saying sorry Annie, so I'm sorry if Im not successful.
My own bowel probs started after op. Not IBS as Inflammation in bowel.
Very bad pain before going and usually happens after eating then like that for hr or 2. Really bad yesterday. Had letter to tell me to expect appt 5 months ago and came yesterday. Will try to see my GP but told not there till next week so will wait to see if I can see her as she knows my history.
I feel awful even mentioning it when you have so much to deal with Annie.
Scaredycat (can I pinch your username?) I share your concern about restrictions being lifted. I know we can't be all locked away for ever but another steep wave of cases would be dreadful.
Nonnie I loved that saying'I married for life and not for lunch' I share yours and Doodle's love of books. My DH and I try to go for walks as much as we can. We are lucky living 5 mls from sea and sandy beach. Only 10 mins drive. DH not able to walk far as still in pain with hip after replacement. Has another appt with specialist in a month.
HVDY Hope you're feeling a little brighter. I think you see son and grandchildren on Wednesdays so perhaps that will be a help to you. I know you enjoyed it last time and children do have a way of taking our mind off our problems.
I have a book group on Wednesdays so that should distract me from my own issues. I realise how lucky I am as I think about you all. I'm just finding it difficult to cope with simple things. Was just going to say sorry for my post yesterday. It's strange to feel 'allowed' to say these things but I don't want to bring anyone down.
Wishing you all a peaceful and restful evening and thankyou for listening.

Oh heavens! My post looks so long.

Sweetpeasue do try to see your GP, it saves having to go over
everything with a GP you haven’t met. Did the letter you received yesterday give you a date ? .

Nonnie yes I married for life, it was for his life though , he
died 8 years after we married.

SweetpeaSue- you are not selfish just full of worries . Please keep,those appointments and hopefully they will be able to help you to feel more comfortable. I hope too your DH has some relief from his pain soon too. People are so kind here so know that you are in our thoughts.
Ali23 - Welcome .
Doodle - we have walked this afternoon but it was really dull and dismal and really cold- so nice to get back indoors though!! I do miss it though If we don’t go - it makes me feel restless.
Are your photos mostly ones you have taken? Nowadays digital photography has made it so much easier hasn’t it.I love taking photos and belong to a Photography group.
HVDY- sorry you feel down today.These dull old days do sometimes make it hard to get motivated. Hope by now the day has improved for you. Coffee and cake help!!
Annie- so sorry you are having a problem but glad the GP got back promptly. I hope what he has suggested will help and solve the problem. Sending a hug.
Nonnie-Waterstones is a terrible temptation. We like having a coffee in the one in town but have only done that once in the last 2 years!! So pleased they are still in business.
Lovely to have a chat with your son and glad your GC are doing well. I expect they are pleased to be back at school now.
Wishing all the gang a peaceful nightxxx

Oh Annie. 8 yrs. Though I'm sure those 8 yrs are very precious and valued.
My GP had said some months ago I could have a colonography, CT scan plus device to aerate bowel to open it and camera small way in. Still need to take all the prep. Rang nurse at ward and put me onto Dr's sec.. Secretary just called to say told Dr and she'd changed it to colonography but its different dept so will need another appt. My GP, who's been so good throughout is only on 2 dys a week, Mon/Tues and she's on leave today. On next Mon but only has 5 appts. Everyone has to ring at 8 as prebooked appts not allowed so will try next Mon. Date was for 11th but will now change.

Sweetpeasue no need to keep saying sorry. It doesn’t matter how long or short your post is. If you have something going on and want to talk it through that’s fine.
How awful to suffer such pain from the bowel. It must put you off eating. I had really bad back/bowel pain after my hysterectomy and the dr suggested sitting in a warm bath of water and making myself eat. At the time, the most I could manage to eat was a teaspoonful of rice. It must be so draining to have that pain every day.
As we have said, we don’t compare problems here. Everyone is worthy of sympathy and support. Please do say what you feel.
You won’t bring us down what you will do is get us standing with you in your troubles. We don’t know each other but we can all be supportive.
I hope you get the appointment for the colonography soon and they can find out how to help you. I hope you have a peaceful night too. Take care.
Annie I eat rice cakes for lunch. Not the most exciting food in the world but they could well settle things down. Rice is supposed to do that. Hope it works.
8 years is such a short time to have together. So sad for you and your daughters.
Scaredycat we didn’t go out today and DH is prowling around and fidgety. He needs the exercise so we are just about to set off for a late walk. It’s very cold but it might help him settle.
The photographs I’m sorting are all digital ones. We seem to have so many copies because DH has backed them up in different places. Also he is a keen photographer so we have thousands. ?
It will keep me occupied for some time.
Sleep well all. I’m off now. Think of me ?x

Nonnie, thanks for the welcome.
I do suffer from anxiety sometimes, and have just managed to wean off of Citalopram after almost 2 years on it. I manage it quite well now, but never stop having to actively manage myself and my reactions to stressors. Tiring!
I lost my mum a few months ago. Her old age was quite a challenge, I must say, and my grief is a real soup of mixed feelings.
I joined Gransnet a while ago to help myself to find more ‘friends’ and people that I can talk to.

Ali23 I’m so sorry not to have been more welcoming. I thought you had just popped into this thread to give your kind support to sweetpeasue but didn’t realise you had problems of your own.
It sounds as though you manage quite well but losing your mum must be difficult. It will take a while for all the emotions to come out. You are most welcome to come here and talk to us if that helps.

Doodle, thank you. I appreciate that.

Anniebach How are you today? Rice cakes are rather bland - would you be able to have something with them?
Sweetpeasue I hope you get the appointments sorted out and get some treatment soon.
Doodle I love looking at our old photos (I always thought I was fat, even when I wasn't, but now I really am)
Nonnie Glad you got out and got your book. I start reading a book, quickly lose interest, start another. I've got 4 books on the go now

I had to collect a prescription yesterday, so that forced me to get my face on, and I got a few things from Asda, took some stuff to the charity shop, and generally had a mooch. I'm seeing my son at lunchtime today, then we'll collect his girls at 3, go to a play centre and then a pub for dinner. Hope everyone has a decent day x

Hi all x

Ali23 hello and welcome, I, like Doodle thought you had popped on here with good wishes for *sweetpeasue, sorry.

Understandable that you have mixed feelings in your grief, they will pass. Hope you have found new friends on GransNet,
you are with friends here x

HVDY* nothing with the rice cakes except for honey which I am addicted to. Have a great time with your family today x

scaredycat you keep walking , thank you for the hug, sending you a cwtch x

Doodle Photographs, I keep putting off
sorting mine out, some are of no interest to my grandchildren,
why would they be interested in a photograph of their g g g
grandfather in his motorbike or wedding photographs of g g g
aunts and uncles , but I feel guilty throwing them out .
How are the muscles? x

My poor carer was struck with panic yesterday, I forget I have
only known her for about seven months. I said to her ‘next week will you get David off the top of the wardrobe’, think she
thought I was delirious.

David is an enormous daffodil, every year he sits on the sofa with me for the ‘six nations’. Oh how I miss going to the rugby
club.

How is everyone?

Hi all. I'm feeling fine today. Thankyou all for your kind words of concern. Not wanting to mislead. Pain not so severe every day thank goodness. Have reading group later.
What a truly horrible time you had after your operation DoodleI hope it was successful and you've not had further problems. And that you managed to thaw out after that walk!
Ali23 Your loss is very recent. I hope you have a relative or friend to share it with. Im sorry. It was kind of you to respond to me the other day.
Hope you are OK today Annie and it's not too cold where you are. Your bulbs should be coming up soon. I can see some in the garden here and we're in the North.
Hope you have a nice time with your sonHVDY

Hi everyone, been trying to keep up and deeply sorry to read all the issues going on.

It has been a stressful time my end but I actually cope with stress really well, when it's over I just feel a bit flat and do not know what to do with myself.

I haven't found any time for self care or just to relax recently so trying to just do that but it seems like there a are always things to do and the list never gets shorter.

At least it doesn't give me time to be depressed or anxious I suppose.

Maybe we all need to do that this week, book a slot for ourselves with some decent self care and doing something we enjoy. The washing up can wait right?

Wishing you all a good rest of the week

Doodle- hope that you had no further problems after your hysterectomy. Your DH sounds just like I am - that’s me if I can’t go walking! I made my poor husband go out this afternoon even though he,d walked a long way this morning when I was busy? I hope you didn’t get too cold.
Ali23- so sorry to hear you have recently lost your Mum you must miss her. It is such a sad loss and the mixed feelings are really understandable. I admire the way you are dealing with your anxiety and feel glad to have you here.
HVDY- hope you have a good day with your son and his girls. We used to love picking some of our Grandaughters up from school and watch them bounce out full of fun and life.
Annie- Your old photos sound lovely- I think your GC might love looking at them - they are the history of your family.
What a sweet picture you paint of you and David sitting together on the settee watching the Rugby. I hope you both enjoy the matches. Is the Rugby Club in your home town?
I hope too that the rice cakes are doing the trick - I,ve never had them but Honey is lovely so might try them.
Sweetpeasue- Glad you feel better today - the pain must make you very tired sometimes. Hope you have a good afternoon at the reading club- is that the same as a book club?
So good to see the bulbs emerging - Spring is on its way- Hooray.
VioletSky- hope you find something nice to do this week . You are right about the washing up!!!
Take care allxx

HVDyou I’m the opposite. I always thought I was very thin when I wasn’t. ?.
Lots of our photos are scenic ones taken on holidays. Nice to look through them and remember where we’ve been.

I was like you and reading two or three books at the same time. I have stopped that now as I find I forget the plot so easily. I quite often have to go back and remind myself what the story is about so now I just stick to one and try and persevere with it.
Have a lovely time with your son and grandchildren
Annie the honey should be good for you. At least you are getting something nutritious. Muscles are still aching. I never used to be like this. I used to be quite fit and energetic. These days I tire more easily.
Oh I remember David the Daffodil. ?. I bet he can’t wait for the rugby season to start so he can come down from the wardrobe.
Sweetpeasue glad you’re not in so much pain today and are feeling a bit better. Your reading group sounds fun. Do you all read the same book then talk about it?
Violetsky it’s good you handle stress well. I wonder if after it’s a bit anticlimactic for you. Have you tried setting a bit of time to yourself each week to do something for pleasure rather than working all the time. I tend to do that with my sewing. Get the housework done the. Have some time for myself on hobbies.
Scaredycat thank you. I was fine after my hysterectomy. The bowel incident was apparently probably caused by them moving around the internal organs during the operation and sending the bowel into shock. It wasn’t serious just very painful. Yes I’m very pleased I had my op. Been so much better since. I had huge fibroids which had a big impact on me. So glad to be rid of them.
Actually it wasn’t too cold last night. We didn’t go too far but it helped DH to relax and feel more comfortable.
Oh Annie I almost forgot. On our walk last night we passed a garden full of snowdrops. If it hadn’t been dark I would have taken a photo for you. Sleep well all.