If you fart when in company …

GagaJo

I once accidentally farted loudly in front of a very lively class of teenagers. I knew it'd create mayhem if I acknowledged it so I completely styled it out and pretended nothing had happened. A couple of them said, 'Did you hear that???' hoping for drama, but I just said 'What?' and carried on teaching.

My bloke blamed a year 9 lad when he farted in a lesson. So mean !

My uncle used to say who's coughed in his rompers .

My late husband took our son the the toilet and needed to go himself. In a loud voice our 3 year old said your poo stinks daddy. He heard laugher and cheers from the other cubicles. ?

This gentleman had it down to an art
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane

Dependent on the company, it’s either an ‘excuse me’, or ‘better out than in’.

When my son, by this time adult, came to stay for a few days, I was upstairs making the beds when I let fly again. It was a substantial one. I thought I'd got away with it in the peace and quiet of my own room until my son arrived upstairs to shake my hand and congratulate me. Apparently it had resounded round the house. I felt quietly proud but a bit disturbed too!

Always take a dog with you, they take the blame without comment

All I have to say about this thread is

This is such a funny thread .... we all need a good giggle... hahahahaha. X

It was Edward de Vere, his portrait is in the National Portrait Gallery but I don’t think it mentions the fart!

There was a nobleman in the court of Elizabeth I (I can't remember his name) who let off such a loud fart in the presence of HM that he was banished from the court for seven years.

When he was given permission to return, and re-appeared at court, the Queen said "Oh Lord ...,, it's so good to see you again. We had quite forgotten the fart"

"This thread has made me laugh out loud - just what l needed - some very funny stories (*Aveline*?)"

Me too, thanks for the laughs. It does you good to laugh out loud.☺️

I’m impressed by the people that claim to be able to hold their farts in. I’ve had my entire sigmoid colon removed and there just isn’t time to hold them in. I’ve stopped worrying about it, it’s become a family joke.

I too have laughed so much my stomach hurts and thankyou
PamelaJl for your reassuring words. I once changed my
massage to just a back massage , couldn't risk any pounding
near my stomach.

May I assure you all that if you fart whilst having a massage do not worry.
We are used to it but always hope we are up by your shoulders when it happens!

oh, omaoma, you made me laugh! I will have to remember that one!

In my family there is a saying "Where every you may be, let your wind go free".

I really do my best not to, but it has happened... a quick 'oh pardon!' will do.

tobyandsocks that is soooo funny hahahahaha. Brilliant

On holiday in Turkey many years ago we were sitting on a lovely beach being serve by. Waiters with drinks and snacks when my husband let an extremely loud fart go and got a round of applause from the servers?. Couldn’t stop laughing.

I remember when my Grandson was about 3 we were out in a shopping centre....my Grandson had always been told to say pardon me if he "popped"..... I unfortunately farted as I was walking along....my Grandson just looked at me....
When my Son picked him up he relayed what had happened in the shopping centre, My Son said "I hope Grandma said what she was supposed to say"....to which my Grandson replied "Well Grandma started laughing and said hurry up lets get out of here then no one will know it was me" I have never lived it down??

My DGSs and I love the video of the very dignified capybara farting in the bath. I don't know how to post links though. Sorry.

Sorry, ive left words out of my sentence.

I would want to never, ever leave the house again

Zoejory

I have never done this act in public.

I would rather faint from the pressure if trying to keep it in.

I was just about to say that. Zoejory.

I’d have been lying, mind.

Zoejory och just go for it! It's only natural.

Ohhhh heck !
My mùm used to do it a lot, i totally ignored it but if we were in public ohhh i died a death of embarrassment.

I havent done it as yet but when that day arrives i will ( i think ) absolutely want to never leave ever ever ever again.... would sticking a CORK up my bum help ?!?!?!

Its quite funny because i thought that on a cold day when you breath out, you can see your puff of breath, i thought if someone breaks wind, is that visible too? hahahaha.... strange what goes through ones mind !!!

This thread has made me laugh out loud - just what l needed - some very funny stories (*Aveline*?)

I have never done this act in public.

I would rather faint from the pressure if trying to keep it in.

Slightly OT but this thread reminded me of the time, many years ago when my OH and I had recently got engaged. He asked me one day what had made me certain we were 'right' together and that the relationship was for ever. I replied that I knew we were right for each other the day I realised I could fart in bed and not cringe with shame or embarrassment.