Suicidal deelings

Sally and everyone else who is struggling like I have at times it's hard to keep going but it's easy to give up. Having GN has saved me from house buying and selling, estrangement ,illness ,weight lose etc. Think I have been on most forums. But writing how you feel helps. And if I can I try and help in return as I couldn't have coped since my house sale fell through the second time in 2019 and found GN.

Because we can talk there is always someone to listen and help. It's the not talking that can make problems worse. Life is never easy but it's worth every triumph and obstacle. Especially as so many people die young.

I have found over the years that it's takes courage to face what life throws at you. And believe what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And believe me my life has been far from easy. But life has a way for surprising you and goes in ways you never thought possible.

I am a realist and don't believe at life at any cost. I believe in quality of life. My husband had his life cut short and he suffered . We had discussed if it all got to painful for him I would have helped to end his life and blow the consequences. He couldn't breath and fought for every breath. I told him to stop we would be ok. He died a few minutes later.

So no matter how things look talk about how you feel . I talk to my husband everyday day out loud as it gives me comfort and been doing it for 18 years now. When I talk to him it puts me in mind of Shirley Valentine talking to the wall.

What I am trying to say is no matter how black things seem or are there is always someone worse off than you . So talk and it really does help. Even to a complete stranger that has a weird user name. ?

I agree with a title something like A problem shared.

Perhaps we could start a thread to help people who are wading through problems, to encourage eachother.

I've made a doctors phone appointment as well, today, even though it's the last thing I feel up to doing, and I'm expecting zero support from my gp.

I was initially crying when I first read your post the other day. We have had a very difficult time recently. I can talk the hind leg off a donkey so that has helped me.
I am so pleased you took that little leap for help you are worth it. I am glad you took in the good advice here and hope you continue to do so.

Organising that telephone appointment is a great step forward, Sally.
Its very difficult to keep going when life seems to determined to knock the stuffing out of you, I know.

I take my hat off to you, and I don't even wear a hat!

Hello Sally Come back anytime, day or night, if you need to talk, there is usually someone awake as this is an international forum. It’s horrible and hard to see your way out but you don’t need to stay at the bottom of that dark pit.

I am so sorry that things are so bad at present but that doesnt have to mean they always will be. Talk to the pain therapist, talk to a friend. You are depressed but you can get help. Please find the strength to get it.

Best wishes from me x

Sally

Sally

You are all such kind ladies and I appreciate all you have said. I have made an appointment with a pain consultant at the hospital as I believe I have OA I have multiple pains. As for the GP. Hmm some are lovely at my practice, others are not. It is difficult to get an appointment and that is only a telephone one. Grr!

But thank you all.reading your stories I appreciate that everyone has their tale to tell and life is not easy for most people at the moment. I need to try to be more positive, but it can be difficult when you feel you are at the bottom of a dark pit, with no available light! God bless you all x

Maggie1952

Need advice please!! I’m 70 m
with 5 adult children plus their partners and 10 Grandchildren in all. My youngest 35 has been in Thailand for the last 11 years and now has a wife and my gorgeous grand daughter. I haven’t seen him in 3 years due to Covid. Finally he made it home with DIL and my
Gd. I was so excited so happy. My 2 daughters arrived home in the UK plus children etc to see their brother. All in all 20 of them all dispersed between my home and my daughter who lives close. 2 of my grand children weren’t allowed to mine due to their mums arguing and not speaking to each other. This caused great tension. Finally my son from
Thailand snapped and accused one of his sisters of not being able to sit in the same room as her sister. Im doing my best to stay out of it. Today my son and fam left to return to Thailand. Apart from being devastated at this I feel the whole month was overshadowed. Im trying to
Find some joy but I’m so sad. I can’t take anymore!!

Maggie, you might have more response if you started a new thread.
There are lots of grans with family living abroad, and I'm sure they will be able to help you.

Sally, you've got us to talk to.

Join something. Even if you don't think you can sing, join a choir. Even if you don't think you can paint, join an art class. Etc

And then come back and tell us.

Sallywally1, please go and see your doctor and discuss how you’re feeling. I can totally understand what you are going through. I’ve been there too and I know you can climb out of that black hole you’ve fallen into, believe me. As for your husband, learn to accept he is what he is and won’t change. I had to do that. I’m sorry to hear you are estranged from your daughter and to hear your son is ill. Please remember, life is precious. We live every day but only die once. Don’t let those dark thoughts get in the way of living. You are needed. You are special. You deserve to live and enjoy life. ?

Sallywally1 I am concerned about you as I've found your post from 31st MARCH 2022 Sallywally1 Thu 31-Mar-22 Nothing has changed for you and you really must talk confidentially to someone...pour it all out and a load will be lifted then you will be able to think more clearly of the way forword..............

Need advice please!! I’m 70 m
with 5 adult children plus their partners and 10 Grandchildren in all. My youngest 35 has been in Thailand for the last 11 years and now has a wife and my gorgeous grand daughter. I haven’t seen him in 3 years due to Covid. Finally he made it home with DIL and my
Gd. I was so excited so happy. My 2 daughters arrived home in the UK plus children etc to see their brother. All in all 20 of them all dispersed between my home and my daughter who lives close. 2 of my grand children weren’t allowed to mine due to their mums arguing and not speaking to each other. This caused great tension. Finally my son from
Thailand snapped and accused one of his sisters of not being able to sit in the same room as her sister. Im doing my best to stay out of it. Today my son and fam left to return to Thailand. Apart from being devastated at this I feel the whole month was overshadowed. Im trying to
Find some joy but I’m so sad. I can’t take anymore!!

I am wondering if SallyWally has taken any advice yet.

Single45guy could have been born in 1945. But I agree that however well meaning the post may or may not be , in order to feel safe, it's better to go through the proper channels when one is in a vulnerable state. If you don't want to speak to Samaritans SallyWally there are other helplines available. Please find the help you need. Statistically most people will experience depression and/or mental health problems at some point in their lives. You are not alone and there is a lot more understanding and help available these days. Many of the caring comments here will have come from some understanding of and identifying with your difficulty.

Good advice Dibbydod! Scepticism is always a Good Thing.

Single45guy

Feel free to pm me just to chat more if you want to

Call me cynical or whatever , but I used to be on a dating site and sometimes I would receive messages from younger men trying to gain your sympathy and trust , saying all the right things to make you feel special & wanted , so please be aware , as I’m surprised this man has offered you to pm him , so I ask , why would a Single 45guy come on GN to post these messages ? It doesn’t add up .
I may be wrong and this young mans intentions are for all the right reasons …but …please be very careful , us older ladies are easy targets , and not everyone can be trusted .

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Sallywally, you need to talk with someone who is qualified to help you understand exactly what is the matter. Can you find a counsellor or psychotherapist near where you live? You need to look after yourself now, and stop worrying about whether or not you want to be here.

Quarrels with your husband , worries about your son and your daughter, and having no friends are getting you down and no wonder! You need to be kind to yourself and do what you can for your family without expecting too much of yourself.

Not much to add to the good advice here except to say doing what you’re thinking of will help no one and may indeed cause a a lot of grief and unhappiness. Please follow some of the suggestions here, Sallywally.

I just wanted to add that the black dog thread on here is very supportive of people who are struggling.
Maybe you could dip in and out of the chat there when you need some moral support.

Sallywally1, it's time to seek (and accept) help - and find some joy in life just for yourself. Do please see your GP asap.