Home births

I had my first two at home in 1963 and 1966.
At that time, where we lived in Essex, I understand that all babies were born at home, unless there were likely to be difficulties, or you were an older mother.
My midwife was very strict, but lovely. Actually, now I don't remember much about it all.
Third child was born in hospital. I was an older mum at 33, and he arrived in a hurry. Mum and dad arrived to look after us when we came home.

Both mine were in hospital - both difficult, though not forecast to be. Personally I was extremely glad to have expert help available on the spot, and in plenty of time.

The trouble is, labour is only normal in hindsight. I still remember a very sad post on MN from a mother who chose to have a ‘lovely’ home birth, only for things to go wrong, and a damaged baby at the end of it.

I’m very glad that dd opted to have all her 3 in hospital. She lives close to an excellent one, but if anything goes wrong, every minute surely counts, and even a 10 minute drive could turn into rather more if it happened to be the rush hour.

I had 3 hospital births when I was aged 20, 22 & 30 then at 40 I had a beautiful home water birth with candles burning and cord ties made from embroidery silk. Afterwards I made a placenta print and had it framed.

I wore my own nightie when my first was born in hospital. Although frankly I would not have cared about what I was wearing - I was just relieved that she came out in one piece after the rough and ready Australian obs guy had pulled her out with forceps, with his feet on the end of the bed for counter-traction! I was just surprised her head was still on!!!

Hi NotSpaghetti ,

Thank you . It was horrible at the time !

I'm fortunate that the first two were easy .

If my third delivery had been my first - I really think that he would have been my only child !

Recently , I voiced my disquiet to a girl who decided on a birthing pool .

I could tell that my comments were not appreciated .

The pool ended up being full of meconium and her son went into distress and was an emergency .

And breast feeding is another story - fine if you can do it !

I really struggled with my first and last - only my middle one was super easy to breast feed .

Sorry Yammy I didn't think you were being sarcastic. I really didn't want to sound snippy. Apologies.
I think we should all be giving birth where we are most relaxed and for many that will be hospital even when there are no known complications.

I admit I was perhaps a little touchy as my experience of hospital was one of just managing there - it was the production-line of it all and lack of reasonable thought in the process, the lack of "individual" care and lack of choices. The whole experience has coloured the person I have become. I was lied to and manipulated in order to try to make me "conform". I did manage it of course and did birth a beautiful healthy baby - but I would not have wished to repeat this experience unless I knew that something was going wrong.

For my second child (in America) I was careful how I chose my consultant and the birth was entirely different.

I had two home births and much preferred it. I was able to continue as normal pottering around, until the pain became too severe. There was no-one fussing about...just me and the mid-wife; and afterwards I was able to look after the baby myself. It wasn't whisked away to the nursery.
Obviously, hospital is safer, especially if there are problems, but the midwife said the babies are safer at home. There are always infections in hospitals, which the babies are in danger of picking up.

NotSpaghetti

*Yammy*, as a home-birther, thank you for your "congratulations" - but being at home is very different to hospital.
Managed is a word I'd use about my one hospital birth - on my notes it was a "normal" delivery though it felt anything but normal to me! It was my home births that were normal... beautifully and unremarkably so. "Managing" did not come into it. At home I was completely comfortable, secure and loved. I felt perfectly at ease in my own labour. My body was mine and was not being done-to.

I still feel my first birth was stolen from me by "the system". I think those of us fortunate enough to have experienced an uneventful home birth will probably understand the whole magical realism (to borrow a term from the book world) of this experience. This is certainly how I feel about it. All births are special - but birthing in your own home feels just perfect.

I think you thought I was being sarcastic I certainly wasn't I think a home birth that went smoothly would be what most mothers would want and a fantastic experience.My relative tells me so.
I also think we have to be very careful and not make others feel they have missed out or less than a woman if they end up with a c-section or a hospital delivery. We all need to take the medical advice that is given, which should hopefully lead to a healthy mother and child.

I had all my babies in hospital. It was what I wanted. I knew that giving birth was perfectly natural and most deliveries were safe and uneventful but I wanted to be sure (esp with babies 2 and 3). I also wanted access to every form of pain killer including an epidural. I totally admit to being a pain wimp. I just find pain of any sort unbearable. So for me it was hospital every time.

Visgirl and Esmay - I am genuinely really sorry you had such terrible and scary birth experiences. So sad. I am pleased you decided to have your dear babies in hospital.

I'm sorry that you have been "lectured" by ignorant people who probably don't know that childbirth is an inherently dangerous activity. Really, as women you would think it's important to be supportive of each other's decisions.

I think this was not intended to be a pros and cons thread though - maybe that would be a good topic for another thread?

I'm sorry , but I'm totally against home births .

Anything can without warning :

My first delivery was okay not too long .

And the second baby almost popped out at tea time without any medical intervention .
But my third was a painful cephalic presentation followed by a massive haemorrhage , retained products of conception and a failing to thrive baby.
He survived with a lot of care .

Three of my grandchildren were complicated births :

One child has mild cerebral palsy and exhibits Autism which is believed to have been caused by the lack of oxygen at birth - though it's not written in stone .

One is fine , but his mother has a prolapsed bowel , bladder and uterus . Now she's clinically depressed .

The third was delivered by emergency C section .

I've been lectured on how childbirth isn't an illness and should be a magical experience and so it is when it isn't a medical emergency risking the life of mother and child .

Babies should be delivered by experienced midwives with full and rapid access to immediate surgical intervention if needs be .

Absolutely not.. I ended up with x2 Emergency section. My DD ended up on Special Care Unit.
My sister the same x2 section, my DD managed to deliver at she went into Theatre to have one.
It's a No from me.

My first baby in 1973 would certainly have died, he was delivered by emergency section because of pelvic insufficiency and my three daughters were all delivered by elective section.
So I was very uneasy when youngest D decided on a home birth for her second baby. All the more so because Gestational Diabetes might have meant him being a big baby.
Imagine my relief relief when SIL rang me and told me all had gone smoothly,
As it turned out GS was 10 days early, the “first responder” arrived with just 10 minutes to spare (SIL having been talked through the delivery by the ambulance call centre,)the ambulance itself and midwife arrived after he was born!
Middle D managed to get there in time to look after the baby’s big (2 1/2) brother in the next door bedroom but start to finish from her waters going shortly after midnight, it had been a little over 3 hours. I was so proud of them both, D for her strength and positivity and SIL for nearly delivering his son, even if there wasn’t time for the birthing pool they had bought, the back massages, the scented candies and tinkly music many people associate with home deliveries!
Fi me it shows you can’t generalise.
A healthy baby and a healthy mum are what matter.

Fennel

Thanks all.
Some emotional views. never to be forgotten.
To those with warnings, I agree, butI only asked for experiences.

Yes, so lovely to have some home-birth stories. Thank you.

Yammy, as a home-birther, thank you for your "congratulations" - but being at home is very different to hospital.
Managed is a word I'd use about my one hospital birth - on my notes it was a "normal" delivery though it felt anything but normal to me! It was my home births that were normal... beautifully and unremarkably so. "Managing" did not come into it. At home I was completely comfortable, secure and loved. I felt perfectly at ease in my own labour. My body was mine and was not being done-to.

I still feel my first birth was stolen from me by "the system". I think those of us fortunate enough to have experienced an uneventful home birth will probably understand the whole magical realism (to borrow a term from the book world) of this experience. This is certainly how I feel about it. All births are special - but birthing in your own home feels just perfect.

Home births are fine if everything goes smoothly. A relation delivered on the floor!!!
However, things can go horribly wrong either at home or in the hospital.
Congratulations to those who managed at home.

I had my second baby at home and it was a much better experience than the hospital delivery.
It was a very long labour and posterior presentation but it meant I did not have to be separated from my first born and my DH and MIL were on hand to help.

My second child was born at home (eleven months after her older brother). Amazed now they permitted (in fact mandated) this, as the only loo for the house was outside the kitchen door.
My parents were there putting my firstborn to bed, and as soon as my daughter cried, they were allowed into the bedroom. Midwive handed towel wrapped new born to my Dad telling him to look after his g.daughter whilst she cleaned me up, etc.
My dad looked into that baby's eyes declaring she was his 'Little Princess'. That relationship lasted the rest of his life (dying when she was 20 years). He loved ALL his g.children, but he and Sue had something special between them, and even now, over thirty years lager, her memories of her g.father as so very wonderful.

DIL had both babies in hospital. The second birth was an emergency C-section and she and her baby could have died. They only had 7 minutes to get the baby out and an ambulance couldn't have arrived and then gotten them to the hospital quickly enough.

I had a home birth for my DS#3 and it was by far the calmest and easiest of the 4.

It was all quite natural without the business of having to travel, be monitored by strangers, fretting about the other children and so on.
I was not high risk and had had 2 babies in hospital before.
He was a most contented baby.

Unfortunately I was advised against a home birth for #4 as we then lived a bit too far from the hospital, I was older and apparently there is a higher risk with each pregnancy of post partem bleeding or something else going wrong.
I also thought, wrongly, that I would get a nice rest in hospital. It was noisy and far from restful so I begged to be allowed home after 2 days.

I’d have loved home births but two of my four were difficult births and two babies were seriously ill straight after birth so I was never offered it.
One daughter is a midwife and passionately wants to be an independent home-birthing practitioner but it’s so discouraged and fraught with difficulties. The insurance is sky high.

I had my daughter in hospital, used a birthing chair, 3 hours from arrival there to delivery, so my subsequent pregnancy was a planned home birth.
One hour from waters breaking to delivery, I knew both of the midwives well, he had swallowed ‘gunk’ which they suctioned out, ambulance was called and GP. Ambulance wasn’t needed, somewhere I have a photo of everyone in our bedroom!
It was lovely, straight in the bath, him with me, magical, so relaxed. Both births were gas and air only, no stitches and the home birth is memorable, 31 years ago.

ps I do trmrmbrt asking my GP first "What if there's a problem?" And he said "Don't worry - we' would get you into an ambulance straight away and off to hospital."
Those were the days .

My first 2 were hospital births because we had no bathroom, an outside toilet and no hot water supply. Baby 3 in hospital because "they" thought there was a problem, there wasn`t. Babies 4 and 5 were born at home, and they were much the better experiences.
Mind you, I think that mums are sent home far too soon these days after giving birth, especially first babies.

Thanks all.
Some emotional views. never to be forgotten.
To those with warnings, I agree, butI only asked for experiences.