'Nerves'

Leonora has a thread about a similar post-menopause problem.

Hi Muffintop - I’m sure you’ll get lots of comments if you start a new thread.

Anyone waken up soaking wet with sweating. The last few weeks have been awful. It's not the weather or menapause. Well past that,.!!! But have been having migraines , and high BP. I know I am anxious. But this is new ,Waken about 3 times a night . Worried

You’re welcome, please do ♥️

Thank you Fanny. I'll take a look.

This tooThe Compassionate Mind Approach to Recovering from Trauma: Series editor, Paul Gilbert: Using Compassion Focused Therapy amzn.eu/d/7z28gvG

Hello again Kate
Please look into Compassion Focused Therapy.
I think that it would be extremely relevant to you.
You need to be kind to yourself, and your inner child.
My therapist recommended it to me

The Compassionate Mind (Compassion Focused Therapy) amzn.eu/d/fl0CnDd

Yes Urms. Thank you. At least I survived it. Reading about some of the cases recently, including Sebastian this week, I should consider myself lucky.

Sweetheart you have been left with an awful legacy from an abusive and frightening childhood. Your mind and feelings take you back to that awful time and your heart breaks for that child who was. You know you can’t return to help her and the angst you feel is for that girl. You will cry just remembering what was done to her and how scared she was.
?

I'm sorry for what you went through. I don't have essential tremor. It's nerves and anxiety. No I never confronted my mother. She was downtrodden and abused. She would never question people she considered to be in authority - dentists, doctors etc. Yes it was cruel. To say it's been hard, especially in my teenage years, together with the chaos and violence in the house, would be an understatement.
Just to add, I realise that there would be other children who this happened to not just me. Then to lose all my hair in the last few years is doubly cruel. However, it is what it is and if the only thing I've ended up with is shaky hands then I suppose I've done well!

I am not a child psychologist, It seems to me that you suffers from complex ptsd because of trauma you experienced as a child.

Did you ever confront your mother as to why on earth she agreed to the dentist taking out all your teeth at 11 years old? Did she even seek a second dentist opinion? It seems a cruel thing to do to a child.

I went to a primary school with a dental practice attached to the school, up to 11 years old I have fillings done but never have any teeth extractions. Can you even grow a new set of teeth at 11 years old?

If you suffers from essential tremor, how about meeting other people at a cafe and not buy any drink just food.

I grew up with a schizophrenic mother, she lost her first 4 children and it pushed her over the edge, there was no abuse just chaos.

My husband, on the other hand, is a son of an alcoholic and a scapegoat in his family. He tried to take his own life in his forties, this happened before I met him and on hindsight, could benefit from some kind of therapy.

For all those with essential tremor (like my DH) I will tell the following story. My DH was very embarrassed about his tremor and did all he could to hide it although I always said it didn’t bother me. We were queuing in a supermarket one day and the chap in front of us was having a lovely conversation with the lady on the tills. There was lots of laughter and funny comments. The man himself shook from head to toe. Quite violently and his limbs were jerking all the time. I said to DH if that man with all his problems can continue trying to live a normal life then you should be able to as well. Since them my DH has had a complete turn around. He now tells people he has a tremor and can’t hold things. It is nothing to be ashamed of it is just another health problem.

Thanks everyone. I'll get there!

There is actually a charity for those with Essential Tremor, and the website is very interesting. I think most of us tremble a bit as we age, and I, too, find it embarrassing when the cup begins to spill in the saucer! But please do strive to continue going out into difficult situations, and I am sure the very helpful advice on the previous pages will reassure you. Good luck with whichever avenue you decide to explore. Do you remember some children were described as being "highly strung" in years gone by, so many of us have moments of panic and anxiety, but I always try to remember "today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday". sunshine

So sorry Kate1949. I do hope some of the excellent advice above will help you. Sending very warm wishes for you to feel better very soon.
Have you tried Mindfullness? On another thread recently I said how much it has helped me to stay calmer.

Hello again Kate
What is your GP like? I do think that you need to talk with a doctor.
Have you ever tried antidepressants?

I can give you details of my therapist if you would like.
I definitely think that you need some quality talking therapy.
PM me if you would like to.

I can't thank you all enough for your kind, understanding posts. It has helped.

I hesitate to contribute to a thread like this, where I have no experience and know that the OP is so open to having tried everything,

But, here goes. Hasn't Cognitive Behavioural Therapy been developed specifically to help people break out of set thinking patterns like those that beset the OP. I understand that the therapy is used for people suffering from depression for just that reason.

Kate, forgive me, I must have posted at the same time as you and did not see what you said about your mother allowing a dentist to take all your teeth out at 11. The dentist was disgusting doing that to you and I can't for the life of me understand your mother allowing it. The fact is that is deep emotional trauma at such a young age, singled you out. No wonder you feel as you do, you felt your mother had not protected you, let you down badly, anyone would. Years ago lot of lots of people were in awe of doctors and dentists, they only came in touch with them if there was a crisis, took what they said as gospel, they, had been to University etc therefore knew everything. The pain physically, emotionally, facing your class mates, the dentures that followed, anyone would have been traumatised. You were not even prepared for such major work.
I don't know if you got good dentures as they can take time to get right. There is so much out there that wasn't available years ago, such as inplants.
You going through all that, anyone meeting you would not know what happened back then, it would not affect the way you looked, you fell in love and married, still are, but probably that major incident so young is there in the back of your mind because of all the pain you remembered. I had bad dentistry at about that age, the dentist drilled a tooth with an abscess underneath it whilst the nurse held me down.To this day I'm terrified. I have gone all my life every six months but start to panic although now it's a pain free experience.Memories linger.

Kate, I forgot to give you these

Hello Kate ?
I know that we have spoken about this before.
I’m pretty certain that you, like me, have Generalised Anxiety Disorder. I was diagnosed when I was aged around 19, before anxiety was a ‘thing’.
I’ve had it pretty much all my life.
My grandmother said that even as a four year old I was very anxious.
With me it is a mix of nature and nurture.
I’ve been on Citalopram (an antidepressant) for about four years and it really helps.
It hasn’t changed my personality, but I think that it helps me keep a sense of perspective.
I also speak to a therapist once a week. I know how difficult it is to find a good one; I’ve had to go privately. I’m lucky in that she only charges £30, and she is lovely.

Kate my DH has essential tremor. He cannot hold a cup without its contents going everywhere. He was so embarrassed that he tried to hide from it. In his case the source was physical rather than nerves. I too suffered like you many years ago and I couldn’t hold a cup at all. My DH has now accepted his tremor and instead of avoiding socialising just says I can’t hood a cup could I have a mug half full please so I don’t spill it.
I realise the shaking is not the cause use of your problem but the effect but instead of cutting back on socialising and cutting yourself off from people just say I’ve got shaky hands. You don’t need to offer any further explanation than that. I hope things improve for you soon

Thank you Jennifer. Thanks all of you. Thanks.

Oh good heavens Kate.
What on earth was your mother thinking and how shameful that the dentist agreed to such a request.
How awful for you.
As regards help for your anxiety, I guess it’s a question of trial and error to find which type of therapy or counselling helps you best as it seems there are a variety of different approaches to try.
Tranquillisers do seem to work I believe for general anxiety, but of course they are only for short term use.

I do hope you manage to overcome this. It sounds as if you have had an awful lot to contend with throughout your life.

Sometimes it's a deep down insecurity about something that makes you over worry. It does not have to be physical. I have times when I over analyse, should I have done or said that. Mine was due to experiencing two life changing events within months, ourwardly I coped, in side I battled. If you possibly can go out, a walk perhaps,it clears the head. You have a husband who thinks the world of you.he knows your worth, you need to know it to.