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'Nerves'

(68 Posts)
Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 14:58:43

I suffer really badly with what I believe was once called 'nerves'. I can't relax, am on edge all the time waiting for the next horrible thing to happen. I have been given beta blockers by my GP which didn't help. I have had a bit of counselling, hypnotherapy, tried Kalms, rescue remedy, self help books etc.
I am now at the point where I am starting to fear leaving the house. I can't go for a coffee or drink with anyone as my hand starts to shake and the drink goes everywhere. I'm not ill. I just convince myself that I'm going to shake and I do. I am truly fed up with living like this. Does anyone else suffer this way?

Elegran Thu 21-Jul-22 15:09:59

Did the GP give you a thyroid test?

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 15:21:29

I had thorough blood tests Elegran.

MissAdventure Thu 21-Jul-22 15:26:51

Have you tried something a bit more alternative than counselling, such as emdr therapy, Kate?
Or any self help techniques?

I had "nerves" when I was little.
I can't remember anything much about it, other than a rash, which needed cream every night, but "nerves" is what caused it, apparently.
(I was very timid)

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 15:29:28

No I haven't MissA but I've heard of it. I will look it up. I've been nervous all my life, unsurprisingly, but I assumed things would improve. They haven't. Thank you both.

MissAdventure Thu 21-Jul-22 15:30:28

blush
Just seen in your opening post that you've tried self help.
Apologies.

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 15:32:24

It's fine MissA. I'm just having a whinge really. Poor me syndrome.

Chestnut Thu 21-Jul-22 15:33:15

These must be deep-seated anxieties and I imagine the only way to tackle them is through hypnosis or counselling. We have our conscious mind and our subconscious mind and it's the latter which controls us. So when the conscious mind says you really want to give up smoking but the subconscious says you really don't, it's the latter which will win. The two have to be in harmony. Sounds like your subconscious is in control here and you somehow have to make it realise you have nothing to fear and are not ill. Only when your subconscious mind believes that will you feel better.

MissAdventure Thu 21-Jul-22 15:33:23

Emdr is supposed to create new pathways in your brain (or something!)
Meaning that it sets up new ways to react to situations- essentially, it trains you out of damaging thoughts.

I have had it, and despite being very very sceptical it seemed to work!

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 15:36:53

Thank you. A new pathway for my brain would be very welcome.

MissAdventure Thu 21-Jul-22 15:41:39

The thinking is that once a behaviour begins to take hold, your brain naturally goes to that setting when dealing with the fear of shaking (for example)
It then becomes a kind of default setting and is hard to stop.
I suppose it's like a master reset of your brain. grin
Only regards that behaviour though.

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 15:48:00

Yes I agree. It's ridiculous really.

VickyB Thu 21-Jul-22 15:49:36

This self-help material might be helpful.

www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Worry-and-Rumination

HowVeryDareYou Thu 21-Jul-22 15:50:42

Kate1949 Have you got anyone to go out with? If so, are you better when someone is with you? Have you looked the Black Dog thread on here? We've all got anxiety and/or depression on there, and we empathise with each other.

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 15:51:09

Thank you Vicky.

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 15:53:18

HowVeryDareYou. Yes I have people to go out with. I have looked at the Black Dog thread. It us helpful and I sympathise that people are going through much worse than me.

Beautful Thu 21-Jul-22 16:19:06

Do you drink tea/coffee ? I was fed up of the way I was feeling so for 3 months or so I now drink decaffeinated tea & coffee ... just a thought

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 16:28:57

I drink tea but not coffee.

Nell8 Thu 21-Jul-22 16:32:26

That nervous shaking is a real nuisance, Kate I suffered from it badly when I worked as a secretary and had to offer visitors cups of tea. The rattling noise was so embarrassing and half the drink ended up in the saucer. In the end I had to ask a colleague to take over as waitress. Business lunches where soup was served were another nightmare. I must have looked very odd holding the spoon hand with the other to minimise spillage!
Something which helped eventually was arm and shoulder exercises which seemed to make my muscles more stable and under control. I wonder if improving the physical side of things could help take your mind off the wobbling?
If my hands start shaking in company when I'm serving food I don't get tensed up about it now. In fact if I say "Look at my blooming hands. They're all over the place." I start to relax or someone will rush forward to rescue the situation.
I hope your problem won't stop you getting out and about.

VioletSky Thu 21-Jul-22 16:36:29

I want to second getting your thyroid tested.

I've always had manageable anxiety but your thyroid can send it sky high!

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 16:45:12

Thank you. I know it's nerves. I've been nervous since childhood.

Oh Nell. Poor you. How I sympathise. I'm going to extraordinary lengths to avoid picking things up! I went for a coffee in M&S once which I never do by myself. The coffee was sloshing around all over the tray and the assistant ran from behind the counter saying 'Oo you're having a turn'. How embarrassing.

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 16:49:05

My husband is very level headed. If I say I might shake, he says 'You might. So what? People won't care. It's just you that feels embarrassed.' He's right. Thanks everyone. I'll shut up now!

Farmor15 Thu 21-Jul-22 16:50:23

It might be worth getting thyroid tested again as VioletSky suggests. When mine was overactive, I was jittery, anxious and hands shook, particularly in social situations. Holding a cup of coffee on a saucer was a nightmare! But when thyroid was treated, most of those symptoms went away.

Since your 'nerves' have been a long standing problem, it's probably not thyroid related, but might be worth checking anyway.

VioletSky Thu 21-Jul-22 16:51:25

Kate1949

Just ask for blood tests to rule out a physical cause for your worsening anxiety..

Mental and physical health is often linked

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 16:52:49

My thyroid was checked when I lost my hair. They said it was fine.