Black DOG 13

HVDY Thankyou so much for that. I know that you have been through so much yourself. The love for, and of our AC is a huge help in all our problems.

I’m afraid that they do play on their phones a lot. But they both talk to me too.

SweetpeaSue Never be afraid to post things on here. We're all sympathetic and wish we could say or do something to help. You're always so caring to everyone here, despite the problems you keep having. A hysterectomy might be the answer, although when I had 5 or 6 years of terrible flooding, the hospital said they'd only do that if I had cancer! You certainly need some long-term treatment. I'm glad you managed to get out today. Your aunt must have enjoyed it, too.

Doodle Thai food is a favourite here, too. It's lovely to eat out, isn't it?

ScaredyCat Nice that was able to chat with your sister. Do you meet up at Christmas?

EllieAnne Good of you to help with housework and ironing, I bet your son and his wife appreciate that. I bet your kitchen smelled gorgeous with that cake in the oven.

Anniebach I hope you're feeling comfortable and that the hospital is somehow managing to try you with some foods. (Hospital food gets a bad reputation, but I loved it)

Wyllow3, Whiff, others on BD, hope your day has been as good as possible.

Son1 called in with the girls, so that was very nice. He looked through our cupboards for something he'd left here, and ended up taking a lot of baking stuff (I don't bake) and some chairs . Son2 rang, said he was enjoying a quiet day whilst his GF and her girl were out. I'm lucky to have such close ties with my boys [smile[ x

EllieAnne You are a treasure to your family. You do work in your church and help others. I think you do very well and should be proud of yourself. The walking you do is certain to be helping your bone density plus all that housework. Your walks with your friend are special and YOUR time; that must be lovely.
Scaredycat I really don't want to have a Hysterectomy but if I can be certain it would help then that's what I would have.There have been a lot of them done, many more in my mum's time but they're not always the answer. More surgery inside leaves me at risk of getting more adhesions and can also leave you more vulnerable to bowel prolapse. The consultant told me there's no disease in the womb so don't understand why I'm bleeding but I can't trust him now anyway so don't know. It will be better to have a fresh opinion now from another consultant though I'm very aware that it's easier and quicker, especially with long waiting lists, to whip out the wombs and send you on your way. It's the easier option for them. The very thought of one fills me with horror but I'll have to mentally prepare myself.
Doodle I'm terrified. But if I need to I will.I wasn't in this state before I went there.My bowel and lower are bloating and the pressure in lower bowel gets difficult to describe but just feels constipated even when you're not. Sorry I know it's TMI. They did this to me and no one is accountable - it's shocking. I don't know if I can ever come to terms with it. I have 3 counselling sessions left out of the 12. But the problems just seem to gather strength and keep stretching out like it's never-ending. I really am sorry everyone, I will be OK. I'm going now, I need to' put a sock in it'!
I really hope everyone has a peaceful night. Love to all. x

Ellie Anne it’s nice of you to go over and help with housework and the like and to be with your DGDs. Do you do things with them when waiting for their mum or are they glued to their phones like so many are?
Considering how you feel about your DH it’s kind of you to make him a cake. So pleased you had a nice walk with friends.
4 ½ miles is a lot. Much more than I can manage.
Just watch what your husband will be doing if you go to visit your daughter. The last two occasions he has upset you by going to visit family without you. I wouldn’t want you to get hurt again. Make your own plans to visit first.
Hope the scan goes well.
Scaredycat You sound so happy your sister is getting out and about again. So,pleased for you all. We went for a walk today. The corn was a bit better but it was sooo cold. Pleased to get home again. Have you been Christmas shopping yet?
Sweetpeasue you are not being a pain so don’t think that.
I wouldn’t suggest you had a hysterectomy lightly as it is sometimes a difficult decision for some but I wonder if they took what they say “ everything away” it might help.
I know before I had mine ( quite past menopause age) there were only a few days a month when I wasn’t suffering.. The relief after the op was so great and I felt so much better for it. Having said that we each have to weigh up the pros and cons individually.
Nice of you to take Aunt out, I bet she enjoyed it.
Take care all.

Afternoon all.
Wyllow- December 6th can’t come quick enough I bet! I think you are beginning to really see things a bit more clearly now and once you don’t have to worry about keeping your house and the security that gives you - you will be able to start making plans about what to do next. A new start could be just what you need - a home you chose for yourself and a place where you can make new memories and friends . Maybe also your bowel issues may subside once you are free of the huge stresses you have been under. It must have been lovely to get out in your garden with your lady gardener- bit of a Charlie Dimmock!!
Glad too you met your friend and felt so comfortable with her.
Hope you enjoy your new dress - new dress - new you!!
HVDY- new dressing table sounds good - nice to have all your stuff together. You sound like someone who likes colour and experimenting a bit.
Glad the move went well and you could celebrate with a nice meal. It will feel unnaturally quiet for a while for you and DH but you,ll adjust and enjoy all the visits. You have such a nice relationship with both your boys.
Hope you had a nice meet up today with Son1 and GC.
Doodle - it must have felt lovely when you finally got to bed yesterday - glad you felt better this morning.
Oh your poor DH corns are so painful.I get them on the ball of my foot it feels like you are walking on a stone. I have them treated regularly - anything to keep walking.
I FaceTimed with my sister this morning - she had been to a Christmas Market early in the week with her daughter and GDS . I can’t tell you how wonderful it is that she is able to do things like that again- she is a marvel.
SweetPeaSue- you are certainly not a “right pain”. As I,ve said before your mind is just so full of what ifs and whys that you cannot stop thinking about. Anyone going through what you are would feel like you - I would be a nightmare!! But in spite of your pain you never stop caring about everybody else. I do feel though that maybe a full hysterectomy as Doodle mentioned might be the way to go. However this is not to be taken lightly .
So pleased you felt well enough to have a beach walk- hope the sea worked a bit of its magic for you.
EllieAnne- wondered if you were able to watch your GD ride today. Whatever you are doing I hope you have some bright moments.
Annie- thinking of you and hoping wherever you are you are comfortable and being treated kindly. XXX
Love to allBDG

Hello all.
Doodle i go over in the morning to do some housework and ironing then pick up the 9 year old from school. Her sister comes in later from high school and I stay with them till d in l gets in.
I’m ok. Trying to find a good time to go to dd but have a lot on with church and choir. Also got appointment for bone scan which have been waiting ages for.
Christmas cake is in the oven. It’s a gf one for him. I’m not that keen on Christmas cake.
Had a good walk yesterday with a friend from church. We did 4 and half miles.
Hope Annie is ok.

Heavens above, I sound a right pain. I hope everyone else has a moan or I'll look awful now. I've written what Annie always called an epistle!

HVDY Oh dear, that's nice of you to say that but I don't feel very strong right now but I'm trying to be. I have to be. I can understand you feeling a bit flat at present with your sons moving as there's been a lot going on then you and DH suddenly alone again with house to yourself. Hope you get a little company today.
Wyllow Just ran through that clip, Thankyou. The bowel adhesion hasn't been caused by any scars from surgery, that's the baffling bit for me. Consultant just said it was on bowel so why it should be there I don't know for sure. The Hysteroscopy I had 2 yrs ago goes through vagina but it went wrong when he tried to take away a fibroid deep in womb lining and all I know is fallopian tubes filled up because a Dr that stood in for my absent one told me this. She thought I knew! She let out about incomplete resection of fibroid. Anyway I know the adhesion is on right but not sure if deep massage would work so deeply but when tummy isn't feeling so tender inside (when!?) I could try. I'm so sorry for all of your bowel problems. Have you got many surgical scars on tummy?I know the Laparoscopy scars on myself are tiny, but it sounds as if you may have had Laparotomy not sure. You poor soul! You've been through the mill. I can't trust who I've seen I'm afraid. I really gave this last one the benefit of the doubt but he's let me down by not telling me the TRUTH about taking away 2 cysts and not the 1 he told me. What is the point of this? It only increases my suspicion. I hope youve had a decent day today and no more stress from ex.
Doodle Glad you had a good rest after your busy day. My days are usually pretty quiet company wise but more socially active days can get very tiring but nice at same time to see people. It would be quite cold at night. We should all meet for a 'hugathon' I think! About Hysterectomy the Gynaecologist said there was no guarantee it would take away the pain. If one is needed I'll have one but I need to know what's going on. Last Yr I bled for 10 mths, for 4 to 5 dys a month then stopped last Nov. Never bled again till after this latest op. Maybe I'll stop again. Wish I could get answers. Bleeding tailing off today again today.

I'm trying. We took elderly aunt out this morning to supermarket and coffee. I wasn't right but I hadn't seen her for couple of weeks. Phone every day. Remember Annie's 'keep walking' and we've just had 40 min beach walk so I'm lot better today than I was. Its very cold and blustery but sun was shining. Can't stop mind from going over things that don't make sense, but feel better for fresh air. Hope Annie is OK, and everyone else is coping in their worlds on BD.
X

Morning all. Don’t often say that do I 😊
I felt awful dashing in and out last night but we were out most of the day then went for a meal at a local restaurant. We walked there and back and by the time we got in I felt so cold and tired I just wanted my bed.
Feel much brighter today. We had a nice meal Thai in a very pretty place.
Wyllow I’m so pleased you posted the link to the other thread. I was able to email it to Annie and I see that she has obviously found it and posted there. I’m sure it will cheer her seeing so many caring posts.
Wyllow I think you have been very good to your Ex and have tried hard to support and help him despite his treatment of you. I think now you have to concentrate on yourself and hopefully when he’s signed those papers you can look forward not back and make choices that suit you. The new dress sounds just what you need. Time to treat yourself.
HVDY I hope your son is now settled in his new place. Good of you both to help him. I bet you needed the pub meal after that. Moving is exhausting.
Pleased the new dressing table is a success. You will feel flat for a little while but soon get used to your son being a little further away. Hope you get to see your other son and DGD today to cheer you up. 😊
Sweetpeasue I wish I could give you a big hug. I do pray you get some answers and a solution to this ongoing pain and bleeding. Please don’t give up hope. I know the next consultant visit might be a wait but hope the appointment comes sooner than you think.
I do think continued questioning of your Gp and telling them how you feel is something you should do. I know I’ve asked you this before but sorry I can’t remember your answer. Do you think that having a full hysterectomy where they take everything away might help. Would it not stop the bleeding? I know the adhesion problem is something else.
Hope you have a better day today.
Scaredycat our only walk yesterday was to the restaurant and back. DH has a small corn on his foot that caused him pain so we didn’t go for a walk. It seems better today so we will try a walk later between the showers. How are you doing?
Ellie Anne you are often in my thoughts and prayers. How are things with you. Have you seen your grandchildren recently? I think you said you see your granddaughter after school Wednesdays. Do you pick her up from school?
Annie if you get to read this we are all missing you and wish you well.

How is everyone this morning?

SweetpeaSue Your health problems sound very complex and must seem never-ending. You're a very strong person to cope with it all, and I hope you get a solution soon.

Wyllow3 The dressing table is very good, thanks. I've got all my make-up and nail polishes in the drawers. I need to get some shelves and drawers in the room next. What's your dress like?

Well, the house move went well. Son2 and his mate did all the heavy work, and DH and I met them later for dinner. The friend lives near us (literally a 2 minute's drive, as did Son2). Things feel a bit flat today, but Son1 and GC might call round later. Hope all on BD has a decent day x

Wyllow3 Thankyou for that information. Had a look at that u-tube clip(without sound) just now. Might be doable, though have bad back haha. Yes, will ask GP if it might help. He didn't say where it was on bowel - - I asked. He evaded. I shouldn't have let it go. Wish I hadn't now. Don't think any scans show adhesions do they? I know they look like filmy chewing gum strands on camera during ops. I've one such photo but need to check with Dr.
Hope you slept well Wyllow and everyone.

Would the MRI not have shown had this been the case, Sweetpeasue (I'm ignorant about what MRI can show).

also re massage etc remember mine are older adhesions ie 2016 so yours will be more tender.

Unless your GP says "no" to very gentle massage, it should help. (*please ask her, I did mine*). the other thing I did gently was, something like this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Px7AqK2bBsg
but please check up with GP. hey?

Wyllow3 Good that you saw a friend today. I really hope the new dress lifts your spirits and you won't need to return.
I really feel for you about these bowel probs.
I've already started to feel mine coming back and have had a lot of pain tonight. I did the massaging(even though painful). I'm absolutely certain that my bowel adhesion was caused by the first operation where the fallopian tubes (Hydrosalpinx) filled and spilled into peritoneal cavity. I don't know how to
proceed with all this. I'm not paranoid, just extremely upset.
I so hope your medical problems are not going to recurr. Also that you have a good rest tonight.

I hope today went well, Doodle..tiring, tho! sleep well.

Poor you, Sweetpeasue. It must seem never ending. furry hugs. You REALLY need answers. Keep on posting xx

HVDY - how are you liking your dressing table?

Annie saw other thread you've been moved. Hard times for you. More furry has on offer.

I had a good day - saw a newish friend in the morning, and after felt it had been ME there not Ex's version of me, if that makes sense... and treated myself to a dress online, but can always return it if it feels excessive! At the gym experimented with bowel friendly moves and it did ease things.

thoughts for absent BD's.

Doodle You do so much on BD. Please don't feel you need to apologise. You go above and beyond to help everyone. I hope you have a good night's rest. It's getting so much colder now isn't it? 🙂 x

Sorry all. Been out most of the day and now home but I’m so cold I’m going to bed. Feel so tired. Be back to catch up tomorrow. Hope all are ok.

Wyllow3 Oh I do hope he signs the papers soon. Hopefully everything will go to plan on 6th. Hope bowel problems will ease after that too with some luck. Been sunny here today.
HVDY Your work seems never ending. You'll probably breathe a sigh of relief once the house moves are completed. Hope the dressing table has fitted in nicely. Enjoy your meal together.

Thought bleeding tailing off this morning then turned fresh again Felt pretty bad. Can't understand this. Tummy feels scraped raw tbh.

Hope everyone on BD is not too bad and has a restful night. Crossed fingers that Annie will be feeling a little better soon. X

Wyllow3 Hopefully then, in a week and a half, you'll be free to move on with your life and the ex will be out of it. He sounds very much like my Son1's ex. She made his life hell (and sometimes still tries to do so, as they've got children together). When a person is in that type of relationship, they can't see the partner for what he/she really is.

I hope all BDers are doing ok today. It's sunny and bright here. We (DH and I) spent the morning helping Son2 to pack all his stuff into the hired van (his friend drove it) and to move out of his house. We're all meeting up in 20mins for food at the pub. x

Thank you for doing that for Annie, Doodle. Being a newbie I hadn't quite got the confidence to do that. I'm just thinking how hard it is to sleep in many hospitals and hope Annie you have a "Decent Berth".

Signing the papersIS significant, Doodle: I do realise now tho the long journey of separation is the real challenge. I had fantasies we might be able to sit down at some point and as it were "understand and make as good as possible", and after the last two days realise its not possible with him, he will always seek to blame and undermine as his Pride is involved: its a job to undertake with counsellor.

Its sunny here today! what a lift - have you all got a bit of sun to ease the day?

Thanks for posting the link Wyllow. I hadn’t noticed this thread. I have emailed the link to Annie too in the hope she can read it if she can use her iPad.
I am so sorry your Ex is causing such problems. I wish he’d just sign those papers and leave you in peace.
I do hope you get to move somewhere where you will feel happier. Sleep well all.

annieif you advent seen it go to
www.gransnet.com/forums/chat/a1318213-Has-anybody-seen

I've followed your days - Sweetpeasue I'm sorry to hear you need anti-b's yet again - another wishing I could make things more OK for you.
its been a powerful 24 hours. As I said yesterday's phone call with ex last night there were some good things - but he exposed his manipulation - spotted it, challenged a little only - and also I'm afraid he is still clearly into grandiose thinking re his future as well as laying on the tears for effect. Its this mixture of character and illness that complicates things - the flashes of genuine feeling then obvious put downs. I'd put down the phone on him when he started blaming me for a significant loss of money on his half, spent when he was really OTT.

I had a text this morning that had a pretend apology, a threat, and a xx. It was SO OBVIOUS how he plays things. I responded to the threat but am aware he still has this final thing to sign - its December 6th.

My bowel issues are troubling, because of it leading to past operations and severe pain, but I won't know what's going on for weeks so mostly "living with". And had a great morning because my women gardener came and I joined in! (I dont go out into the garden on my own, open spaces stuff, and its so big I get overwhelmed)

but overall I feel, "I've got Ex's number finally - he IS toxic for me
and
the idea of moving house next year is a +++ to live closer to a more "hippy" area and get away from a place with memories all the time of ex. Even tho have CFS, can pay for people to pack and so on.

thinking of you all...Annie especially in hospital. BD's...xxxx

Annie I am so glad that you are being cared for at last. It’s lovely that your daughter wants you near her but I know Wales means so much to you. How long do you think you’ll have to stay there?
Thinking of everyone else and thank you for caring.

Thinking of you all as I head to bed, and wishing you a good night's rest.
I agree Sweetpeasue there's such a feeling of calm and peace in a church.