Pacing yourself- easier said than done?

I have no trouble loafing. It's the guilt that sets in later when I haven't done what I ought to have done that bothers me.
Since my hip succumbed to arthritis, I have to do things very slowly and that is tedious. I leave tasks like ironing until I have a huge pile that takes all day, and then I'm hot and sweaty and grumpy. Good job I live on my own.
Everything takes ages, so pacing myself is easy. I only have one speed.

Pace yourself is probably what I do as I have a lung condition. I make sure I do one thing every day to keep up with the housework eg hoover, or dust, or clean shower. Then sit down for an hour. If I feel like it I may do a little more after a rest. The house isn't perfect but it's tidy as I'm quite a tidy person.

Sago

I thought it said “piercing yourself easier said than done!”

ROFL!

I have pretty serious CFS.

I try to make sure I only book appointments or activities on the morning, and have the afternoon/much evening as needed "off" , sometimes I can sleep.

so what matters most of all is that what I do do, is best body/mind wise. concentrate on what I can do (eg some yoga at the gym, see a friend, tackle a simple job, contact my family

not what I cant do, tho the latter is very hard: on is fighting low feelings and frustration, tho it gets easier as time goes on.

I pay for a gardener and a cleaner.

Above all, start to value "Being" as important as "doing". Observe the lilies etc.

I have a variety of physical problems, so long term, had a slipped disc over 30 years ago, which meant lying flat for some time etc . and it is always there now , having got worse, so that I have to be aware of it every day,to see what I can manage.. Then had cancer , with operation and 6 months chemo, so that was tough, where one week you felt too sick to do anything, or eat or cook. Then you improved the second week and the third week tried to catch up on jobs before it was time to repeat. Very frustrating, when you could see what needed doing but couldnt do it. Various other things as time went on, also caused depression and frustration, because I was sat in the mess and couldnt sort it. That leads to either just giving up and doing nothing, or getting very upset about it and not sleeping and lying awake in pain from my back and thinking of all the problems, then rushing about trying to catch up and making back worse etc . round and round on the merrygo round!. So over the years these are my hard won tips.
1. I keep a pad and pen by my bed (paper not ipad) so that if I am awake at some ludicrous time of morning say 3am, and cannot get rid of thoughts or worries, and needing to remember to ring X or whatever, I just put the bedside light on, and write it down. If I also have an idea of how to deal with whatever I write that down too, then turn off light and try to do some deep breathing. If the thoughts are still racing try counting backwards from 1000 in 3's. If you loose count go back to 1000. All that does is puts a block on racing thoughts and worries. I always keep a poetry book and a lighthearted book if I cant sleep so put light on and it is too cold to get up read a little , very calming or lie there quietly saying Cargos to myself . REmember it ? Starts "quinquereme from Ninevar "
My back pain really governs day to day, so on a good day , I can shower and dress and carry on. On a bad day , I just put my dressing gown on and hobble about make breakfast and sit and wait for the painkillers to start to kick in. That is when I have a pad where i write jobs or things I need to do, whether that is email or go shopping or ring up or of course come on gransnet. Then while I sit with the most cheering part of the breakfast, which is my fresh coffee in my lovely china mug, I look at all these ideas and can see the things that there is not a chance in hell that I can do today, and look at possibilities and try and get them organised. e.g. need shopping , so check library book date and do I need fuel , so they are one group, and dont beat myself up about what I cant do. Then I get showered and dressed according to what I plan to do, scruff for housework, better trousers for shopping etc. Then have to sit down for about 20 minutes to revive!
I lived in Portugal and so have a lovely apron which has a pocket that goes right across. They use it to put wool in and then can walk along knitting and chatting and then put the needles into the wool and stick it in the pocket. So especially when I lived in a house, it is brilliant to put dusters polish spare toys etc etc. so you could take lots of little things and still have your hands free to hold onto a banister and then you dont drop things and have to bend down. I have always been a very keen reader, so have books by my bed, chair and other places. So match rest to job. Taking ironing to put away? Then sit on the bed and read for 10 minutes. Now have to sit to wash up, have pad at the side for any idea and shopping list as I can open a cupboard door and look without having to stand up. But dont let the lists rule you either. At this time of year we have the perfect excuse NOT to feel guilty about ignoring jobs . With autumn weather you do not know if it is going to be crisp and sunny or grey and gloomy. So whatever you planned if the sun comes out ignore all but essentials , put a warm jumper or coat on and sit in the garden or if you have a car drive to the nearest wood or lovely view with your paper, book , and I of course take my cafetiere , china mug etc and make my coffee and sit there and it is so lovely and calming. As a singer, I can join in with the music, or learn some new music or play a cd. My own little pleasure pod! If you are not in your house you cannot see the jobs or deal with them and no one can reach you - switch that phone OFF! My car seat is quite comfortable for me and so it is actually my little world, where I can rest and take in the view. If it starts to pour with rain, I am in the dry and can put radio 3 on and listen to Bach. Ever since I was at home with my son when he was little, I had the habit of looking in the radio times to see what was on radio 4 and 3, and planned the housework round it. He was much wanted and loved but weeks of chatting to a 2 year old on your own needs some adult pleasure thrown in! So if there was Bach double violin concerto on at 11am, that would be my coffee break and I would work towards that and then sit and listen, or in the afternoon a good play meant do the ironing whilst listening. The only soap I have ever followed was the Archers so 7pm meant 15 minutes sit down etc. So I still do that now. This morning at 6am checking through to see what I would like to listen to and plan my day round that. It is like a promised sweet to a child to me. So just get the list made or the washing up done and then 10 minutes to sit in my chair , close my eyes (cant see the chaos then ) and listen in peace. Not an awful lot of pleasure living alone , but being able to stop when you want have breakfast at 5am or 11am , and listen in perfect silence with no one coughing or rustling is one of the perks I find. In the house a timer can be useful to begin with so you set it to go off after an hour or 30 minutes or whatever suits you , but in the beginning you need the disipline of obeying it, So when the time goes you stop what you are doing and sit down for 10 minutes. When you have done that for a week or two you will have got into the g ood habit and wont need the timer. At the end of the day, if you are clean, your clothes are clean and you have food in the house, the rest can wait until another day if necessary. Well I have waffled on for long enough but hope something in this appeals to you, A little joy goes a long way to cheer the day,

I have just read the spoon theory and the description on how you feel for people with invisible illness is marvelous. I sent a link to both my DDs, one has chronic depression, started with postnatal 3 1/2 year ago.. and other DD has either Lupus or Fibromyalgia along with Type 2 diabetes. Doctor can't/unable to give a confirmed diagnosis.

I have suggested to both of them, to try to keep toilet and bathroom clean, keep up to date with washing, and ask visitors, including me to help. It is hard for them and I try and help as much as possible.

I personally use lists, priority jobs get underlined ..lol

I think taking things day by day is akin to keeping putting one foot in front of the other.

Just keeping going, not thinking too much about tomorrow or next week.

Have read the Spoon Theory and the NHS page on recovery after COVID and found both helpful. I’ll try and put the advice into practice.

i have the opposite issue; i find it's v easy to sit about when i know there are things to be done.
story of my life. delay, dither. then ponder why.

I have multi critical conditions that often leave me exhausted so i do pace myself. I have been told that I need to keep up my cycling so that is every other day and then I can do little else. I tend to tidy, like putting the junk away, putting cushions to right and keeping the fireplace clean. I will add one job to it, hoovering, bathroom etc a day and that’s it. We muddle by but I am happy and rested

I'm very arthritic and pain stops me doing many things I wish to do, but I can't get the hang of 'pacing'.
If I'm having a good day, I go at it 'hammer-and -tongs' until I've achieved as much as possible.
Of course, the following day it's an effort to drag myself off the bed.
Maybe one day I'll learn some sense!

When it comes to energy I don't think there is any such thing as pulling yourself together. You either have the energy or you don't.

The way I deal with it is by breaking down the list of jobs I want to do into simpler tasks and making sure that jobs that take more effort are followed by easier jobs, followed by a cup of tea/coffee/sit down in the garden. If there is a Mr Teabag enlist his help to fetch and carry at the very least, depending on how domestic he is.

While I'm sitting down I sometimes go through my list of jobs and modify it then I feel like I am still doing something Sometimes all you can do is get the easier jobs out of the way and hope you'll feel better tomorrow. And don't waste energy worrying about it.

WWM2, thank you that all makes complete sense.

kittylester

I have the opposite to that. I think it means trying not to do too much all at over- but, by whose standards.

I've been in hospital and am continually being told to 'take it day by day'.

What does that mean?

When I had had a prolonged period of illness in the summer, the doctor pointed me to the nhs site which gave advise on how to manage post covid fatigue - I think it can be used for all post illness.

Initially complete bed rest with not even looking at your I-pad??.

Have a look at that and adjust it according to where you are on the recovery path.

It has taken me since end of August to now to begin to feel “normal” but I still have to make sure I pace myself and not overdo it otherwise I feel like a wet rag the next day.

I think that the point is that you can’t beat your bodies needs, and if you try to hurry it up it simply doesn’t work and you prolong your recovery.

Thank you for all your advice and support, acceptance does seem to be the key. I’m going to look into spoon theory, it sounds like a good way of explaining things to my young granddaughter. I’ve started taking pain killers regularly and I’m seeing a physio soon which I hope will help. Onwards and upwards!

You learn how to listen to your body. I have ME/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for 20 yrs now. If I do not pace myself, I suffer chronic pain and extreme fatigue to the point have to crawl to the toilet. Now I listen to my body as soon as I feel it is beginning to struggle, time to rest! It is a tough lesson, as things that most take for granted can take me all day eg load dishwasher, rest for 45 mins, unload washing machine, rest for 30 mins. I write a to do list every day and spread the load rather than rush to do it all in one go. Also have to save myself for special occasions like going into hospital tomorrow, so resting all afternoon today to cope. My own worst enemy is myself, expecting too much then feeling disappointed when I cannot. Accept that you MUST do it for your own health and safety and life becomes so much easier.

Diagnosed with chronic fatigue/fibromyalgia 30 years ago pacing has become a way of life. It’s hard, no getting away from that but it allows me to do everything I need and want, just differently. I think it’s important to understand pacing, it doesn’t mean do everything slowly it means accepting every action, even sitting reading GN posts, takes energy. The spoons theory is easy to get to grips with also to explain to friends and family. My baseline for activity is 10 minutes, most days I can a lot more and enjoy the freedom of more choice, if it’s a 10 minute day then so be it, railing against it won’t help. In the midst of a fibro flare up at the moment I can manage 30 minutes at a time which is pretty good. In my view the trick is to stop before exhaustion hits, more is achieved then as recovery time is much shorter. It is hard to begin with, anyone needing to as a recovery tool won’t have to do it forever, hang on in there, you’ll be able to do more soon.

I suffer from Fibromyalgia and help run one of their support groups. We advocate trying to pace yourself throughout the day.
If I am doing something physical I put the timer on my phone for 15 minutes. When the timer goes off I sit for 15 minutes and so on.
I find I achieve more using this strategy. It works for me.

I have some chronic health conditions (which cause pain and fatigue) and I too was told to 'pace myself'. After talking with my physio, she advised me to "get ahead of my pain" by taking my painkillers in advance, and not just waiting until I need them. I also adopted the 'spoons theory' and now it comes naturally (after decades) to think ahead and organise my tasks according to available energy and mobility. It's not a happy situation because there are always jobs that just don't get done. Acceptance is key and I was told I would not be getting any better which helped me do that, although it was difficult to hear. Now old age has come and I'm finding it even tougher, but I do try to keep on keeping on. Now my OH has issues and can no longer walk the dog as he did, so I'm trying to do that too. Life ain't easy!

I'm totally controlled by my back. It tells me when I've had enough and need to rest.

"...it’s very difficult to sit about when you know there are jobs to be done."

I disagree. It is VERY easy to sit around when you know there are jobs to be done. They will still need doing tomorrow. And the day after... Then you realise a lot of them DIDN'T need to be done at all.

I had mild covid in January 2021 and now have Long Covid. Until Covid I loved racing round the garden with the wheelbarrow full of grandchildren. My husband and I used to go for long walks. I can now only manage a slowish 10 minute walk.
Pacing myself isn't easy but any real effort results in exhaustion and breathing problems. I'm having to learn patience (and how not to grumble). And am so grateful that this LC isn't any worse. Covid hasn't disappeared and people are still getting Long Covid. Take care of yourselves...

The cause of your trouble with energy levels? Are there symptoms that come on when your energy is low? Do you have any warning signs? If you have symptoms and intend to improve, you do have to devise a method of getting by with less activity - (does mental exertion affect you more than physical?). Are you doing all the other things a person needs to do to have good energy - good diet, good sleep amount and pattern, suitable physical exercise etc. Think like an athlete... What is good for them may be good for you.

I think which system you use must depend on two things:

what kind of person you are and what your health issues are.

If you have been told to take it easy for a certain length of time after an operation or an illness, I think you just have to ignore the mess around you, unless you either can afford to pay a cleaner, or have a spouse who can and will take over your work for the duration.

If we are talking about a permanent condition, or just the lessening of energy and strength natural at our time of life, obviously we have to find some way of dealing with the fact that we can no longer work eight hours at a stretch or whatever we did when we were younger.

For me it is trial and error - I try to find the amount of work I can do without tiring myself out completely.

I no longer whiz round hoovering all the floors and dusting all the rooms in the course of a morning, but spread it out over a couple of mornings.

I have more or less given up gardening, which I hate, and hope next year when DH at long last qualifies for his pension (long story - the short version is they keep moving the goalposts) that we can afford someone to mow the back lawns and cut the hedges and that we can find the money to turn the front lawn into a paved garden with a couple of tubs of plants.

But I am in the fortunate position of not having anything wrong with me, only the diminishing of vigour that accompanies getting older.

If you do have a serious health issue, try and get your consultant, your G.P. or a nurse to tell you exactly what they mean when they say "take one day at a time" or "pace yourself" two meaningless phrases that everyone understands differently, which is of no use to us who are given the advice.

My daughter has multiple chronic illnesses and is often confined to bed with pain and fatigue ,She uses this method to explain to her girls what level she's at and how much energy is available to her.On the list I think it says 2 spoons for a bath ,on one of her bad days it will use up almost all the spoons on her chart .Its very helpful for her and those of us who find it all very hard to cope with.

The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino