Totally see where you are coming from. My suggestion is a slightly crafty one. If you are not asking him to do things , you are exhausted and frustrated and getting angry. If he is depressed it is very hard to be able to do anything and I speak as someone who has lived through various bouts . So I have sat in total tips and just been unable to make the simpleist decision. Then I know when I am getting better , when I go into the same mess and think what a tip and I need to get things sorted. So back to your situation now. I suggest that you at first organise to be out for a morning, to do something that officially cannot be left, checking with the bank , food shopping or whatever. So he either has to do things himself , go without, or arrange for someone else to visit and do the things. If he is depressed you may have to do all the organisation . So for you, while you are out give yourself a small treat, perhaps have a nice coffee in a cafe, meet a friend there or if itis dry and nice now is the time to g o in the park and kick some autumn leaves about. That little break , not only from the physical but the mental stress of being totally responsible gives you the strength to carry on. If you can do this even once a week in the beginning, you will feel calmer , less resentful and the situation will become clearer, so that you can look at which is the most important part of your husbands state, which needs addressing. I was an ambulance car volunteer and did 3 days a week for 10 years and eye problems were of course a major reason for people needing my help. I took all sorts of patients for many reasons,. While you may think things like heart problems and cancer are the worse to cope with, on a day to day basis eye problems were some of the most depressing. Reason being, often the patient cannot be sure that things will definitely improve or remain static but may get worse. Poor eyesight affects so much every day, cant drive, maybe cannot read anymore or watch favourite programmes. dont feel able to garden, worry about walking as you fear you may fall over things. Cant do favourtie hobbies, pop out for ten minutes, etc etc. So whilst the eye problem may not be long term or even need more than a change of glasses etc , it can have far reaching effect. A couple of years ago I was told that I have macular eye problems and as driving reading gardening etc etc are my hobbies first reaction was a bit panicky. However the option explained that whilst their very sophisticated machines could inform him that the condition was there , it is a very long term problem and not likely to cause me difficulties for some years , just needs checking in my regular eye tests, so far I comply with all tests etc and it has not worsened in any way, Hope this is of some help. Oh also if you get one of those cant sleep because you feel so rattled about it all, put pen to paper, write it all down ,then put paper away in a drawer and after a couple of days read what you have written. Then you will either agree that is exactly how things are or see the changes. then enjoy ripping it up to pieces or burning it. If you go to scuff through the leaves see if you can go out to some country lane, bit of moor with no one else about and then take a deep breath and SCREAM!! I find it wonderfully worthwhile and feel rather like a 9 year old shouting ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR1 Well my dear at least you have us to read your words and know we sympathise with you and your husband. Wonder whereabouts you live? If I am out and hear a scream or two it might be you having a go!