Black Dog 14

Morning, BDers. How is everyone?

Thanks, SweetPeaSue. It should be alright, and it'll be good for me to be helping people (as well as earning a few quid ). Off to bed now - DH has got his stuff set up down here . Goodnight all x

HVDY Congratulations on your new job. So happy for you. Thats kind of your husband. Hope he finds his camping fun for a while to come and you can claim that bed.
EllieAnne Your family are very lucky to have you but I see how redundant it can make you feel when they seem wrapped in their own lives. Its a shame your daughter lives so far away. I know daughters seem to communicate a little more by what my sisters say and others. I could drop in on my youngest but wouldn't
feel comfortable doing it. Its hard for you when your dh is quite remote. I wish I could change things for you. Will you ne
be at church tomorrow? Hope those good friends will be there that supported you last week, Im sure they must care about you.
Doodle I can see how the music gears you up while walking. I used to walk to the music beat, it's infectious.
Yes, aunt has 1 coal fire, with iron side oven she used to use for baking in yrs ago. Has plug in radiators. Used to stop there with cousins at times when a child. Many memories. Oh I do need an ipad or something. Im not dexterous at texting, only use 1 finger.
Hope you sleep well and your dh.

EllieAnne Your family would certainly not be better off without you. I did the same thing and made my family my whole life. I'm fortunate to have a good marriage, though, but you mustn't think people wouldn't miss you. Are there any clubs, organisations you could join? U3A, W.I. or anything like that?

Doodle So long as he doesn't have a camp fire in the living room, I don't care . Glad you managed the treadmill again.

SweetpeaSue I offered to sleep downstairs, but he said no, he will. Your auntie must really enjoy you taking her out. I grew up in a house like that. I didn't think anyone still had a toilet outside nowadays. She must be stronger than you think, if she lives with no heating.

Just been watching some episodes of BBC2's Serengeti programme. Don't animals have a very tough life? .

Well I’ve had two goes on the treadmill today. 1o minutes each time. I can certainly feel it in my legs. Been doing some sewing and reading so not really achieved what I’d wanted from a day at home.
Scaredycat your sister eating and talking is good. It takes time to recover from things so hope she will have a weekend gradually gaining strength.
DH says by the time we get dressed up warm enough to go out and then taken all the things off again and put them away weve added about an hour to our walking time 🤣. I agree it’s nice to get outside. Walking on the treadmill isn’t nearly so interesting. I did play some music in my headphones and ended up nearly jogging at the end.
HVDY that’s such good news. I hope you like your new job and it works better for you. What a brilliant idea of your husband’s. He is obviously concerned about your lack of sleep.
Is he pitching a tent in the living room too 🤣
Ellie Anne I think boys can be like that sometimes. They aren’t as chatty as girls and also don’t think about it so much. Don’t take it to heart. You are not alone in making your children the centre of your life. Many of us do that. If you had a good relationship with your DH you probably wouldn’t feel like this. It’s because you feel lonely with him I expect.
No they wouldn’t be fine if you disappeared. People think that sometimes but it isn’t true. Maybe you are taken for granted but is that so bad to be thought of as someone who’s there for them when they need you. Of course they would miss you.
I’m not keen on gyms either but people can make friendships there and there are others around. Is the swimming a no go?
Sweetpeasue I didn’t realise you were using your phone for posting. You must be very dexterous to be able to type on a small keypad. I often make mistakes when I’m texting on my phone. An iPad would be easier, are you thinking of getting one?
Brown, pink and white noise are all background sounds that are supposed to help people with tinnitus or sleep problems to tune things out. I found it more annoying than helpful.
I used to listen to story podcasts for children or travel. Someone with a quiet voice speaking in a monotone would send me off. I once listened to a podcast about a train journey in Switzerland. Took me weeks to reach the final stop, I kept nodding off.
Your poor auntie. Does she only have one fire? It sounds like the house I lived in when I was young. We forget how we get used to our creature comforts. Hope you have a good weekend.
Annie how have you been today? Still enjoying porridge?

EllieAnne Hope you enjoyed your walk. I DID think of you today on your walk and actually wondered if you'd see some snowdrops but thought you wouldn't with it usually being much colder up there and things coming out later. What a brave little flower they are. I'm so pleased you found them. Thankyou for letting us see them. 😊
Annie Hope you're ok today. You'll be looking forward to that TV next week-Ive got fingers and toes crossed!!
Scaredycat Hoping your sister continues to eat and drink and you hear some comforting news soon. Another here who loves the Violas and especially the purple ones with yellow centres. Afraid Winter ones in my pots have all shrivelled up against the extreme cold. Only reached 2 deg today but bright and sunny. Tide in but managed to walk at top of sand dunes dipping down to a strip of sand alongside sea waves that threatened to 'catch' us. Sanderlings running, they seem to skim the surface their legs run so fast. Nice to bump into a friend like that.
HVDY That's great news about your much needed sleep. Does that mean you're on the sofa tonight? I've not a clue what pink noise is, Ill need to google it. I dont have any headphones but I need an ipad really as this posting on phone not ideal.
Doodle Hope you had a decent day indoors and yourself and DH managed the treadmill ok again. I managed 4mls onbike yesterday though legs were leaden afterwards as been a while since last pedal. We took out auntie to supermarket and coffee there. She's like a very tiny bird now and was muffled up so much against the cold. Inside she was so warm it took ages to unwrap her, she'd so many layers on! She lives in house with no central heating(coal fire in living room) and outside loo. Used to be old house for Huntsman and horses. Had to sprinkle lots salt on yard.

Ive had a good day, just a bit of low aching. Trying not to stress about whatifs. I know I need to appreciate each day I'm well and Im definitely better than I was just after September. When I get pain, I think I'll be like that forever and what was 'done' but I dont want to think that way. I'm really trying not to. I hope everyone has a decent night's sleep (esp HVDY and Doodles's dh) I so appreciate friends here. x

I have worked in charity shops before for many years but I think my time for that is past. I help at church and food bank but that is week days. I don’t like gyms would rather go for walks. I went to the woods this morning.
I just feel unwanted. My boys only contact me if there is a reason. They are not close enough to drop in. Though I drive to theirs if they need me. Dd phones most weeks but it’s hard work talking to her as there are so many no go areas and she hates being asked questions.
I suppose I feel I’ve made them the centre of my life and not really had a life of my own and now am on the scrap heap when am too old to do anything. I’m thinking again that every one would be fine if I just disappeared. But they have enough to worry them without that.

EllieAnne Saturdays can be difficult if family isn't around. Would you ever consider voluntary work in a charity shop, or anything like that? I imagine those places get busy (they do where I live) Don't give that horrible woman another thought.
Wyllow3 Glad your visit is going well. Alcohol and cake - perfect .
ScaredyCat Glad that your sister is getting on alright. How's her husband?
SweetpeaSue Hope you're ok today and have been able to go out.
Anniebach Hope you've got something tasty for dinner.

Well, it's been frosty but sunny today. I had the informal interview in a pub - the lady was very nice and we chatted for over an hour. I got the job, she's going to get my references and get me on the rota, so I'll be starting work in a couple of weeks - only about 10-15 hours. DH bought himself an air mattress and a sleeping bag! He's going to be camping out in the living room . His idea entirely! He's excited .
Son1 and girls came round for a couple of hours, they've just gone. Son2 has gone to his GF's, so DH and I will get an Indian takeaway for dinner. Hope everyone has a nice evening x

Doodle- Hope you,ve enjoyed your day at home. I,m not very good staying at home all day as always feel better after going out in the fresh air. The sky has been so blue and sun out for 3 days now and it’s lovely- but freezing. How good thought that you have the treadmill working and you can both ge5 comfortable exercise.
I have no view from my kitchen so have put pots with the pansies on the fence. Yes we have some purple ones- I especially like the purple ones with white bits and they definitely have faces.
No news yet but at least my sister is eating,drinking and is able to talk too. Think it will be quiet as it’s the weekend so hopefully more news Monday.
Joce- hello good to see you. Hope you are plodding along as best you can todayx
Wyllow- glad you arrived safely and happy to hear that they have been busy making your room cosy. Have a lovely day and enjoy your caterpillar cake.
EllieAnne- yes weekends can be very lonely in your position. Everyone else seems to be having a good time - but not all will be!! A walk even in the rain will lighten your mood hopefully. Maybe a cafe and cake could be on the agenda too. That nasty person isn’t worth a minute of your thoughts concentrate on the good people in your life. I hope you manage to fill your day as well as you can. Well done with the snowdrops - they should be called Annie Drops.
SweetPeaSue- hope you have something nice to do today and that it will be pain free too.
Annie- hope the sun is shining into your room today and you can see the garden from your bed and that there’s something nice on the menu today.
Positive for today- bumped into a nice friend this morning and had a catch up chat.
Love to all

Joce I often think of you and wonder how you’re doing.
Glad you’re still plodding on. Hope little Coco is doing well.
Wyllow have a good trip hope all goes well. So pleased you are feeling made welcome. Hope you enjoy the caterpillar cake. 😊
HVDY what a great night’s sleep. You must feel invigorated.
Does your DH sleep ok on the sofa? It sounds a good compromise.
Ellie Anne I know many people who feel like you about the weekend. Particularly those on their own. Family usually busy doing other things.
Sorry about your son’s wife. That must be troubling for them and you. I had a wobble with praying yesterday. Great anxiety about the whatiferies. It’s not easy to have faith and keep praying if you don’t feel your prayers are answered. I persevere and keep hoping. Sometimes in church I feel really close and other times I feel lost. I think it happens with many people. Glad you haven’t had anymore issues with that woman. Could you try a small local gym like Wyllow that might be something you could do or swimming? Hope it’s dry for your walk. Sending you a hug 🤗
Sweetpeasue hope you have a peaceful weekend. Are you going out anywhere? We are having a home day today to get on with some jobs but might go on the treadmill for exercise.
Have a good day all

This is for Annie. Been to the woods and they have started to come out. Soon all the ground will be covered.

So pleased everything good, Wyllow Sounds like DIL gone to some effort to make you comfy too.
Enjoy your Caterpillar cake! Cheers! 🎂🥂

EllieAnne Just to tell you that weekends and weekdays are the same for me but I do understand that feeling of loneliness. I'm afraid our AC grow up and their own lives have a lot going on, at least in my own experience. They still love us and I have to keep telling myself that. I'm glad youve not heard any more from lady who upset you. I hope the walk helps. Its white frost evetywhere here and everything looks fresh but very crisp and hard. Thinking of you on your walk. 💐

Ellie Anne sending love to you for your low Saturday. Certainly hoping that tomorrow you get more reassurance re Lady so it fades further. Yes some days are just a b*******.

How about a walk with a cafe destination? Better around people than stuck unhappily at home?

(Saturday for me isn't particularly a problem as the gym is "open all hours"...only snag is weekends if things get v bad is that care lines shrink to crisis only but not needed recently)

DiL took a lot of effort yesterday evening to transform a grubby messy room with a hole in the ceiling to a nice space, (which meant a lot) we had a bit too much to drink, and today there will be a caterpillar cake. So far, so good.

Am I the only one who doesn’t like Saturday. Most other days I have something arranged for part of it but Saturdays are empty and I always feel a bit low. I never see any of the family. Son 1 and family are busy with the girls activities and son 2s wife is low just now. And as you know dd is miles away.
It’s dull and rainy but I think I will go for a walk anyway . Dh has been for the paper so will spend the rest of the day reading it, playing on his laptop and watching tv. I’m feeling stressed and lonely and think my bp is up. I so wish dd was only a couple of hours away and I would go to her but it’s too far. I was at a bible study last night and think that dragged me down because I’m weary of praying for help that doesn’t come.
No more word from the lady that upset me but it’s always at the back of my mind.
When I read what some are going through I know I should be thankful (and I am) but some days are just 😢😢😢

Good morning, BDers. I had a lovely sleep last night! Went to bed at 9! Woke up a couple of times but didn't get up. Got up at 7.30 - DH had slept on the settee all night but he's gone to bed now. (We'll have to take turns sleeping in bed, I think).
ScaredyCat Glad the cat is doing well. 10 teeth out in one go is a lot. He must be feeling so much better.
Doodle I found the pink noise no better than my Tinnitus, but I'll try a podcast. Thanks.
Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x

Good day, love to all, back in tomorrow, Annie they need to get that darn TV sorted.

Hello to Joce dont think I've met you.

xxxto all BD's.

Joce345 So nice to hear from you. Glad you're still 'plodding' I know you use the term 'plodding' and its appropriate in what we often do day to day. I thank you Joce, and wish you well tonight. x

Evening all.. hello Annie so good to hear from you lovely lady x
Doodle, scaredycat sweetpeasue Hvdy wiff
wyllow happy birthday.
I still hear plodding on in the back ground wishing you all well sending lots of love to all...
Hope everyone has a peaceful nights sleep...🌸🌸

Hello all.
HVdY thanks we think we have tracked down the culprit to an online website where we have bought things that seems to have been hacked.
I have used brown pink and white noise for my tinnitus and found it more annoying than the tinnitus. Have you tried playing a podcast or someone reading a story. There are some sleep stories that are read in a droning sort of voice to help you sleep. It won’t drown our the noise but might help.
🤣 yes why in earth use Bluetooth for your washing. I’d find it more difficult than just going and turning the machine on.
Oh the interview wounds exciting. I wish you well and hope it all works out fine for you. Good luck.
Sweetpeasue we are please about the treadmill too thanks. I’m hoping it strengthens his leg muscles to make walking easier. Scams come from everywhere these days. I suppose with us buying stuff on line you open yourself up to these things. DH keeps a watch on the banking every day so would have spotted anything fraudulent but Nationwide got there first.
Hope you’ve had a better day today and I hope you have a pain free weekend too.
Annie what a disappointment. Hope things work out next week. Any news on your hoist and wheelchair situation?
It has been a beautiful day here too but so cold outside.
Hello Whiff a quick visit from you is always welcome. Hope you feel stronger soon.
Wyllow hope the trip to your son’s goes well and you have a lovely birthday.
Scaredycat glad your DBIl is feeling better. Fingers crossed for better news of your sister too.
Hope you’ve had a good day. I love pansies. They are one of my favourites and like you I think of them having little faces. They always make me smile. Such beautiful colours. Have you any purple ones?
Have a good weekend all.

Evening all
Just seen message I did about 2 hrs ago - didn’t press send- doh😩
Wyllow- Happy Birthday! Do hope you have a lovely weekend with your family. Take time out if you need it Hope the ginger sorts itself out quickly. Drive Safe.
HVDY- my daughters little cat is 8 yrs old. He had to have 10 teeth out poor little soul. However she’s just texted me and said he’s just polished off all his food - he is a food fanatic. Who needs teeth!!
My BiL is better and able to visit my sister today and will hopefully see the consultant for an update. I,m so hoping he will be told something to give us hope for her recovery.
Oh that snoring- makes you feel murderous doesn’t it. Hope your sons move happens quickly.
Good luck with the interview.
Doodle- what a good idea for the treadmill. Sounds like your DH feels more confident now it feels stable. You,ll both get better at it with practice. So happy your plan worked out well in the end.
That credit card scare would have scared me witless. Anything like that reduces me to jelly and full of anxiety. Your bank really was on the ball.Glad it’s been sorted for you.
SweetPeaSue- glad you,ve been out and about today- love a toasted tea cake. I like the M and S ones. Hope you sleep well tonight.
Whiff- hope you have a peaceful night tonight so you don’t feel so exhausted tomorrow.
Annie- Oh what a disappointment with the TV. Roll on next week - you would think somebody could have sorted it for you before now.
Positive- the potted pansies on the wall by my kitchen window survived a really hard frost. Feeling sad about my sister so their little faces cheered me up .

Whiff I meant finger!!

SweetpeaSue Thanks. The lady sounded really nice on the 'phone the other day. I'm optimistic but won't be banking on it too much. His snoring IS a massive problem, but he won't seek any proper help - he's tried throat sprays, and nose strip things. Neither made any difference (he wore 3 nose strips at once ). Son will be glad to move out, I'm sure.

HVDY Hope all goes well tomorrow. Position sounds good. Sounds like it will offer more social comtact with someone too - not like that last disappointment. Good luck.
Also with sleeping tonight. 😕 Its turning into a major problem, so sorry.
Anniebach I do hope you are able to get out of your room sometimes during the day. It would be awful for you to be in there, as lovely a room as it sounds, and without TV. I cant understand why they haven't been able to get it up and running by now.

SweetpeaSue DH came home an hour ago, had a cup of tea, then went for a lie down upstairs........and I can hear him snoring. I'm knackered. Glad your day has been ok.

Anniebach What a shame about the TV. How are things re wheelchair, physio? Have you met any other residents at all?

I've got an informal interview tomorrow, for a Home Help position, with a family-run company (no care work involved). I hope it will be ok. Hope everyone has a relaxing evening x

Just a quick one as I am very tired . Happy birthday Wyllow 🎁🥳🥂🍾.

Annie there is always to chat about. Talk about old memories or cross stitch anything at all. You are a very interesting woman. Don't sell yourself short. 💐