Breast feeding- were any of you actively discouraged from BF?

Trends are important.

Breast feeding- were any of you actively discouraged from BF
No
By mother, MIL, or nursing staff, friends, colleagues, OH, etc?
No

But that is a subjective response.

Were trends and pressures different when we were young mothers than they are now?
Are the pressures changing/have changed over 40 - 50 years?

Yes, totally. But for another thread. This one is about having support or not, or in fact, being dissuaded, one way or another.

Going a bit OT here, but another mother I was friendly with right after my first, was bottle feeding her 2nd, and when he was just a few weeks old (a big, hungry baby) she was sternly told by the health visitor that he was too fat - she must ‘treat him like an alcoholic’ and strictly limit his feeds!
Pleased to say she ignored her - it wasn’t as if he was having anything but baby milk.

My very little Gds, entirely BF, was a real Michelin Man porker at 4 months - and just as well, since during successive bouts of bronchiolitis - the first very severe - he lost a lot of those rolls of fat.
He’s now a wiry, very slim and active 6 year old.

A very good friend is a La Lèche advisor in a very multi-cultural town. We were working together when 2 of our colleagues were in tears, because they were not allowed/prevented to BF my their MIL- as they lived together. OH then told us he had come across this many times, again, in multi-extended families with an Asian background. Friend above has seen come across this multiple times, hence my mention. So it seems it is quite common in some cultures.

But both OH and her, currently, not many moons ago- is called to help mothers who want to BF, and their OH, mothers, or Mils, or others- are constantly undermining them, telling them they are doing the baby no good, buying formula and bottles, and handing them to the mother. Usually by those who chose not to BF, or didn't succeed, or by OH's who want their wives to keep breasts for them, perhaps? Or because they have no control. Or ?????

As said, it seems much more common than the other way round. Not just in the 70s, but since then and currently.

Fleurpepper

Thank you Sarah 75.

I did expect an apology, but I do not think this will happen, sadly.

Do any of you remember the time when Nestlé and other formula producers would actively get staff to encourage bottle feeding, feeding babies on bottles without asking permission, and would send you home with large samples?

After an emergency C-Section after a very long labour, I discharged myself and went home without any support, as I could not trust staff not to bottle feed my baby, despite requesting that they did not.

No I was never offered free samples of any baby food when I left hospital. During my 10 day stay I was encouraged to bf, and on the 24 hour stay I was offered a trial pack of . . . disposable nappies.

My first baby was an emergency Caesarian, born in the late eighties. I was in for 5 days. No, I don’t remember there being any pressure at all to bottle feed, in fact it was the opposite, I got fed up of the breastfeeding specialist midwife appearing at my side what felt like every 10 minutes. There wasn’t any formula milk on display, it was kept in the cupboard in the kitchen. Nor was there any coffee available, which did upset me as I was desperate, I went off it completely when I was pregnant and craved it straight after delivery. My husband had to bring me a cup from the WRVS cafe, as it was tea only on the ward - thankfully times have moved on.

Fleurpepper

Do any of you remember the time when Nestlé and other formula producers would actively get staff to encourage bottle feeding, feeding babies on bottles without asking permission, and would send you home with large samples?

After an emergency C-Section after a very long labour, I discharged myself and went home without any support, as I could not trust staff not to bottle feed my baby, despite requesting that they did not.

Nope. When I had mine breast feeding was always encouraged

Thankfully the midwives were fine with those of us who wanted to bottle feed

Zoejory

Fleurpepper

Do any of you remember the time when Nestlé and other formula producers would actively get staff to encourage bottle feeding, feeding babies on bottles without asking permission, and would send you home with large samples?

After an emergency C-Section after a very long labour, I discharged myself and went home without any support, as I could not trust staff not to bottle feed my baby, despite requesting that they did not.

Nope. When I had mine breast feeding was always encouraged

Thankfully the midwives were fine with those of us who wanted to bottle feed

I think that may have happened in the 1950s, I remember my SisIL being told bottle feeding was best.

Do wonder if in some cultures MiL will discourage b.feeding as it it known that this helps to delay chance of getting pregnant again
Whereas many lactating Mums can and will get pregnant (unless taking precautions), women;s bodies return to 'normal' much quicker if NOT lactating.

As I said, I bottle fed my first, gave birth to my second (full term) exactly eleven months later.

A friend of mine was so pressured to breast feed (child is now 4) that the lack of sympathy, when she was having problems with it post- caesarean, actively made the decision to bottle feed to stop the enforced and prolonged attempts to breast feed. North East of England, 2019.

I am 100% breast is best, but it's sad that she wasn't listened to and supported more.

Thank you to all who contributed. It is good to hear few felt 'pushed' towards bottle feeding against their wish.

Bottle feeding baby without mother's permission was certainly the case where I had my first, West Midlands, and also given samples of formula.

Franbern- in the case I, my friend and OH came across, it was about 'power and control' by matriarch.

Fleurpepper, admittedly it was ages ago, but in an American magazine I once read that women shouldn’t breastfeed if it makes their husbands jealous.
What sort of man could be jealous of a tiny baby being fed its proper food???
Not the sort I’d ever want to marry, that’s for sure.

fancythat

Fleurpepper

Thanks for all who commented.

My intention was not to open yet another Breast versus Bottle debate.

But to find out if any of you, or DDs, colleagues, friends, etc- in the past, currently or anywhere in between- were actually DISCOURAGED from Breast Feeding, and by whom, with reasons stated or not.

Zoejory, I truly do not think it is genetic. But expectations leading to advice, comments, support or not, etc.

In the cases of younger colleagues, living in extended families, the MIL encouraged Bottle feeding as a method of control, on both DIL, son and baby. OH also had several similar cases.

I have quite up to date info about some.

No, no one was discouraged. But medical staff do nto have as much time to put to this as they would like.

Things though are wrong in the Uk, as apparently, the Uk is literally the worst country in the world for the amount of breastfed babies. Apparently.

Thanks to all who contributed. the thread has run its course.

May I point out, as others have done, that I DID NOT post the above comment, as wrongly accused. NO apology has come been made for this mis-quote and mis-use, sadly.

My mother was horrified at my BF. She blamed it on my father's peasant Italian heritage...

I don't remember anyone discouraging me from breastfeeding I'm late 70s, they would certainly have received a sharp response from me though.
Daughter and daughter in law also breastfed their children both 43 yrs old. None of us would have taken any notice anyhow because it's not anyone else's business if a women chooses to breastfeed.

1976 & 1980 It never occurred to me to bottle feed. My mother & grandmother had breastfed successfully and it just seemed the natural way to do things. Never had any problems and enjoyed the experience both times. Both DD’s went on to breast feed their babies too. There’s no right or wrong way, surely all that matters is a healthy, thriving baby.

Franbern

Do wonder if in some cultures MiL will discourage b.feeding as it it known that this helps to delay chance of getting pregnant again
Whereas many lactating Mums can and will get pregnant (unless taking precautions), women;s bodies return to 'normal' much quicker if NOT lactating.

As I said, I bottle fed my first, gave birth to my second (full term) exactly eleven months later.

Gdd1 was just 6 months and still entirely BF when dd became pregnant with Gds. But zero signs for so long, so that at the first scan (expecting 7-8 weeks max) she found out that she was already 14.5 weeks gone!
They’d never expected Nature to oblige so quickly.

MawtheMerrier’ the comment you took exception to was from Fancythat, not from Fleurpepper.

This seems a perfectly legitimate topic for discussion - why has it been received with suspicion from some? Very interesting, not least to hear how attitudes have changed (or not) over the years.

My mother had mastitis and discouraged me from bf.
All mine bottle fed and all thrived.
My SIL breast fed and we could see the baby disappearing before our eyes. My mother said to her son ‘if that baby is not put on formula , I will phone the health visitor. One month later we saw a healthy bouncing baby!
Each to their own but don’t look down on people who choose to bottle feed.

Fleurpepper

Do any of you remember the time when Nestlé and other formula producers would actively get staff to encourage bottle feeding, feeding babies on bottles without asking permission, and would send you home with large samples?

After an emergency C-Section after a very long labour, I discharged myself and went home without any support, as I could not trust staff not to bottle feed my baby, despite requesting that they did not.

The Nestlé boycott was started when that company (and perhaps others) was accused of doing exactly that in developing countries where anything "Western" could be promoted as being modern and desirable. The result was that mothers would go home with samples of formula and then have to buy more as their own milk had dried up. Also in places where the water supply was unreliable, babies died from having feeds made up with contaminated water.

The boycott continues - Google Baby Milk Action.

Chocolatelovinggran

My mother was horrified at my BF. She blamed it on my father's peasant Italian heritage...

gosh that really made me laugh why are Mothers so extreme?

I don't think my MIL liked that I breastfed, she certainly mentioned that my babies were hungry a lot and why didn't I just get some proper food into them thankfully, I'm not easily offended

It's really heartbreaking how many has unsupportive mothers and MILs