Breast feeding- were any of you actively discouraged from BF?

Fleurpepper why do you want to know ?

MIL was not so much discouraging as puzzled as to why I was doing it.She was of the generation that thought breastfeeding was for people who couldn't afford to bottle feed.

Whiff

Fleurpepper why do you want to know ?

It is interesting- following the other thread. It seems to me, that more women are discouraged from BF, and the other way round. Certainly was my case. Both hospital staff bottle feeding my baby without permission, giving lots of samples when leaving hospital and being told that it is much easier to bottle feed. And by my MIL, who thought the same.

Surely our experiences are from some decades ago.

Mine were born in 1977 and 1980. I just assumed I’d BF, didn’t expect any difficulties and luckily didn’t have any. Nobody ever tried to dissuade me or made any negative comment that I can recall.

Ilovecheese

MIL was not so much discouraging as puzzled as to why I was doing it.She was of the generation that thought breastfeeding was for people who couldn't afford to bottle feed.

Or perhaps sometimes, as Anthony Trollope put it in one of his books*, re an aristocratic woman who couldn’t BF and employed wet nurses instead, ‘The Ladies Arabella never can. They have bosoms for show, but not for use.’

*Doctor Thorne, IIRC.

Yes, agreed GSM- but we also know DDs, DLs, younger friends and colleagues, who shared their experience with us.

Great to know Witzend. Some mums who want to BF do need support and help- as some do not find it as easy and natural as you did, for all sorts of reasons. From my experience, when problems arise, so many are discouraged, passively or activelly, and just told to give up and bottle feed- as I experienced.

And one of my DDs too, also after emergency C-section.

1973 and 2009. Many of my younger colleagues too, but over-powering MILs activelly promoting bottle feeding, buying bottles and formula and even feeding themselves , without permission (extended families, married to oldest son).

No-one tried to dissuade me; the hospital were very supportive and I fed both my babies for 10 and 6 months respectively.

I'm not sure how our experience of 40 or more years ago bears much relevance to that of young mothers today ?
Although in own case NCT classes and post natal support played huge part.
Young mothers today also have access to breastfeeding counsellors la Lèche counsellors, doulas etc

1978 and 1982. Actively encouraged to breast feed.by NCT classes.as were my friends.

Didn’t attend NCT classes. Definitely didn’t want to breastfeed. No pressure to do so from anyone. Son thrived. No regrets.

I was in hospital throughout my first pregnancy in 1987 because of constant sickness and blood pressure. I was told I was not going to be able to breast feed because of my colouring pale skin hair etc. What a ridiculous thing to say to a new mum I was determined to breast feed and I did.
Breast feeding was also not encouraged because our babies were put in a side ward in cots. I had to go and get my son in order to feed him. I should have been allowed to have my son at my bedside but wasn’t.

Fleurpepper

1973 and 2009. Many of my younger colleagues too, but over-powering MILs activelly promoting bottle feeding, buying bottles and formula and even feeding themselves , without permission (extended families, married to oldest son).

That's a huge age difference between your AC (DDs?) @ Fleurpepper ' or are you referring to one of your DGC

My children were born 1971, 1973. In Bracknell New Town where we lived then, we were all positively encouraged to breast feed and I was the pride and joy of the health visitors because I was the only mother who did breast food.

Mind you, the gilt did come off the gingerbread a bit because my breast fed only baby was also the biggest and fattest baby in the clinic!

It's personal, each to their own.

I fed all 4 of our daughters, I knew no different. Mum said she breastfed, my sisters nursed, I never considered not. Easy and free.

I wonder why MILs care (if they indeed do care).

Norah

It's personal, each to their own.

I fed all 4 of our daughters, I knew no different. Mum said she breastfed, my sisters nursed, I never considered not. Easy and free.

I wonder why MILs care (if they indeed do care).

Totally agree. All mine were bottle fed. My mother never wanted to breast feed either, My daughter bottle fed her. My daughters in law bottle fed theirs. Maybe it's genetic!

It never occurred to me to not breast feed my two in the 1990’s.
I did it everywhere, restaurants, church, trains, relatives homes, park benches…
The first was for 18 months and the second for 2 years, roughly in line with the WHO recommendations at the time.
Never had any adverse comments . If I had had any comments I would have told them in no uncertain terms what they could do!

I breastfed both mine, not exactly with support, but no discouragement from the professionals. But then, I had an older sister who breastfed, my siblings and I were breastfed and my partner's mother breastfed her children. She was a bit sniffy about mothers who breastfed in public, but not discouraging.

OTOH, I was an NCT breastfeeding counsellor for a while and there were women who came under pressure from their mothers to give up if they had problems. The mothers usually prevailed...

Looking at statistics for England (which are incomplete) it seems that the percentage of babies totally or partially fed at 6 - 8 weeks is about 56%, but looking at the regional statistics it is noticeable that the further south one goes, and particularly in the Home Counties the rate is far higher than in the North of England, where it tends to be less than 50%; in some cases, much less.

I couldn't find anything about babies breastfed to 6 months, which is, I believe, now the recommended period. I suspect it is a much lower percentage.

NotAGran55

It never occurred to me to not breast feed my two in the 1990’s.
I did it everywhere, restaurants, church, trains, relatives homes, park benches…
The first was for 18 months and the second for 2 years, roughly in line with the WHO recommendations at the time.
Never had any adverse comments . If I had had any comments I would have told them in no uncertain terms what they could do!

Same here. Even when I went back to work when they were three months old, I expressed milk so that whoever was looking after them could continue to give them my milk.

Yes

My dh had the mistake of listening to his mother and insinuate my first kid did nor have enough nutrients and needed formula - their judgement is something that has not been forgotten

He only mentioned it once, if looks could kill

He quickly learned not to give unsolicited advice from his parents after
several incidents of very very outdated and dangerous advice from his mother

No, you do not give turmeric to a baby so her/his skin is lighter
No, water intake is dangerous for a newborn
Etc

My first baby (b.1969)in maternity hospital where senior consultant INSISTED THAT ALL FIRST TIME MUMS breastfed. I went in with an open mind, but on being told I HAD to - I immediately opted not to. So bottle fed. Always felt gulty about this and rest ofbabies were breast fed, including my twins. Trained as an NCT B.Feeding Counsellor and was available on the phone 24/7. Helped to jointly write the first NCT lealet on breast feeding twins.

When I had my twins an agency nurse at the hospital 'caught' me feeding them on demand and insisted on telling me that if I kept on feeding my babies as and when they needed it I would 'run out' of milk. Such an incorrect and dangerous thing to say.

My MiL detested it when I b.fed and would not stay in the same room as me. She could never understand why I did it,

All my daughters were brought up knowing that breast was best, but found that the professional Health Care people were not really helpful or encouraging .

New baby weight growth charts were geared toward formula fed babies and that often caused incorrect and damaging advice to be given. New parents (particularl with first baby) are so scared and want to helped and adviced correctly.

My eldest daughter's partner was told by visiing midwife, when baby was six days old to 'go out immediately to get formular and bottles'. This due to baby not gaining much weight. This was in the middle of a heatwave, that 'baby' - now 19years old still loses her appitite in hot weather!!!! My very self-confident and NHS Professional rang me in tears that day. Was also told to take baby that day to GP. So fortunate that lovely lady GP examined baby - congratulated Mum, told her how healthy Baby was and stated ' Assume you are breast-feeding'. With that, and my help that continued for several months - even when daughter returned to work with expressed milk in bottles.

Whereas no-one should be forced to b-feed if they really do not want to, there is no doubt that breast is best both for babies and Mothers. Expressed milk in bottles can still give dads, etc a chance to feed baby. And, at least when breast feeding Mum HAS to sit down and relax and bond.

Theer are still far too many fallacies out there. The formular manufacturers perpetuated some of these deliberately when wishing to break into the markets in Africa, Asia, etc. The milk from a different species of Mammal cannot be as good as that from humans to small babies.

Also, breast feeding once established is so much less work. When I had my twins, my older three were 2 yrs, 4 yrs & 5 yrs. No way would I have found time to make upto 12 bottles every day. So much easier to sit down with two babies, feed them together, change them and put them back to rest - and during the day often had 2-year old sitting with me whilst I did this so i could read a book toher.

BF first child for 10 days in hospital and several painful weeks at home, encouraged by hospital and health visitor. When she failed to gain weight and was fretful, I was advised to try formula.
Second child, I was better prepared, but with the same outcome, though only in hospital for 24 hours. Reassured by health visitor that if I’d only fed baby for a few days I’d given her a good start.
In hospital first time, about 50% of mums Bf baby.

Actively discouraged from breastfeeding first, Mother said bottle feeding best and breastfeeding was disgusting.

Tried with my second but traumatic birth meant no milk.

Third and fourth till six months.

With my 5th, I decided I wasn't going to be treated like it was something shameful any more. Mother and stepfather would make me leave the room in my own house.

A friend walked into the living room and deliberately breastfed in front of them... they left the room. I laughed and thought, actually it's their problem not mine

I shared a picture of myself breastfeeding in Facebook ( you couldn't see any breast anyway) stating that with my last baby, I would be breastfeeding wherever and whenever and would no longer be hiding in bedrooms and baby changing rooms.

Mother and stepfather after seeing the positive responses... did a full 180

Lol