Black Dog 15

Another interesting day. Lots of theories being offered about what is causing DHs high heart rate. Gp and two nurses have been brilliant. We are both really tired. Been up at 6.15 to go to the hospital and so much going on. So many blood tests. I think we will try an early night.
Candy you do sound tired. It may well be worth speaking to your GP if you’ve noticed this tiredness is creeping up on you.
I couldn’t go back to work now if I tried. All those early mornings and mental activity keeping up with what’s going on. I am one who is happy to potter at home mind you I’d like to have a bit more energy too.
nadateturbe that’s ok. Just nice to hear how your going now and again. Thank you for your prayers. I hope you are doing ok and not overdoing things.
Wyllow missed church today because of hospital visit but hopefully can make it next week. I am tired but hope for a eest tomorrow. At our age it’s hard to cope with all this extra going on. We are lucky in our flat that we have really nice neighbours but you’re right it’s not always the case and it is a factor you need to consider when moving. It’s a case of weighing the pros and cons. Perhaps you could buy your own place in a retirement village where you would have the peace of your own home but in a more communal setting.
HVDY you seem to be so busy all the time I’d be surprised if you had time to potter. Have you thought about joining some groups , knitting, walking, at the library U3A or does that not appeal?
Sweetpeasue the hospital is actually not that far, probably only 40 minutes at night the problem is the traffic. It’s on a really busy route that often gets traffic jams so we need to allow extra time to get there,
It’s quite a big place so there is a large cafe and a couple of smaller coffee areas. It’s quite pleasant although parking is an issue.
I’m not sure that nerve damage would be permanent. Nerves do regrow. I wish you could have that calm peaceful sleep for much of the night. Like DH with his RLS , there is a time in the morning when he seems to sleep so peacefully but the rest of the night he’s so restless or up walking around.
Hoping tonight is one of the peaceful ones for you.
Scaredycat have you been able to go out again yet or are you still very tired? Hope your sister is improving. How is your GGS getting on?
Sleep well all

Doodle An hr to hospital seems quite a way to me as our main hospital is 30 mins away. It must take quite a bit of the day - there and back and the treatment time. Is there a nice cafe inside? I expect its too early to tell if treatment is improving things. You must be getting to know the nurses involved which can be helpful. It can be reassuring if you are are treated by the same ones. I hope you managed to sleep last night for your early start. Hospital appts seem to be much earlier than they used to be, you will be looking forward to a 'normal' morning. I really hope you're ok.
Candy You must do what works for you and if you feel better having a busier day then it's a case of whatever works to get you through. You do sound very tired but maybe its a side affect of the meds, I dont know. Blood test sounds a good idea. My word 6am is so early but I hope you enjoyed your swim.
Wyllow I hope you didnt have a bad night. There must be a lot going on in your head about moving and what you would be looking for. The good thing is that you can do everything in your own time.
HVDY It's good that the Rheumatologistost is giving you his attention and that he is looking after things. Days when you feel 80? Know about them! Time for a new hair colour? ☺️ Tea and cake cannot be underrated.
Nadateturbe Thats kind of you to think about us. I hope you're feeling not too bad.

Yesterday the pain lasted all day and felt very close to the edge. Bladder pain during night and after taking oramorph at 5 fell into calm and peaceful sleep. Woke feeling 'normal'.
Not been to book group for 3 weeks and able to go today. Its so strange. How can the bowel/bladder pain be so bad and next day be gone? I'm grateful for today. Frightened that it might be some sort of nerve damage though-couldnt bear it to be permanent. I darent think about it.

Hope everyone has managed a decent day. x

Wyllow It's frustrating to feel unable to do what we used to do a few years ago (I find it increasingly frustrating and I'm not quite 64). Good news about getting a CT. When will that be done?

Candy6 It's interesting that you are envious of people who are content to potter about - I often feel envious of people who are able to work. I'm very limited in what I could actually do for a job, which I still find difficult. I potter about but am not very content. The days are often long and boring.

Doodle Hope you and your husband had a decent night's sleep.

The Rheumatologist from the hospital rang me last night - he asked how I've been since I saw him the other week, asked about my legs, etc. He wanted me to go for a blood test today and said he'll ring me on Friday with the results. So, did that this morning, then had tea and cake in a cafe with DH. It's one of those days when I feel about 80

Hope all BDers are coping with whatever the day brings. x

Glad to catch up Candy and nadateturbe. Sorry to hear of tired levels.

Candy reading morning GN its like people on another planet at times! But been like that so long its just life in a way. Yes probably the anti d's sleep wise but your body will get more accustomed.

OTOH there are other people on other thread struggling with so much it gets realistic too then.

Meant to say Doodle hope you are finding some self care time, quiet moments in church or whatever works.

Doodle thank you for asking. I'm OK. I haven't been posting on BD as I haven't enough energy and also my eyes get very strained and sore if I'm on too long. But I do think of you all and remember you in my prayers.

Evening all, sorry I’ve not been on but I do think about you all honestly. As I’ve mentioned, I do make my life busy which obviously takes its toll but lately, I’ve been feeling really tired. Just been talking to DH about how I’ve changed so much in the last few months. I used to be a night owl, enjoyed a much longed for glass of wine in the evenings and have to force myself to have alcohol free days but now I’ve gone off wine altogether and look forward to going to bed early! I think it must be something to do with the meds as it seems to coincide with those but I may ask for a blood test just to rule anything else out. Anyway, enough about me.
Doodle I’m glad you `DH is having treatment at the cardio unit and it seems he is getting good care there too which is a bonus. I suppose it’s too early to tell if it’s working but I hope he gets some positive results soon. He has suffered enough and you both deserve a break. Yes, Mondays and Tuesdays are busy for me. I was retired once too but decided to go back. All my own doing and I think it helps me mentally. I envy those being happy pottering at home, I really do. I often read the ‘good morning’ thread on GN and find it uplifting as to how content everyone seems to be. Maybe one day.
Scaredycat I’m sorry you are taking a long time to recover. I hope you feel better soon and your AF isn’t playing up too badly.
Wyllow sorry that your CFS has been worse and I hope your MRI goes well. It must be reassuring that you’ve got docsis to ask about anything you’re unsure of. Re. Moving near family. I would definitely think about this when you’re strong enough. I think it could help you turn your life around. I love having family close by and would love my son to be here too. If I only had him, I would definitely be moving close to him. I don’t expect my kids to be carers or anything like that, it’s about spending time together doing ordinary things that can make a big difference. Big decision though so you’re right to take your time. You can register on Rightmove and they send you alerts when properties become available which gives you an idea on property trends and prices.
Ellie Anne I’m sorry you can’t see your son alone and things are uncomfortable at home for you still. I hope you can find a way out. You must be very strong to put up with it all.
HVDY I hope your Gd’s settle into their new home soon. So nice of your DS to help. At least they are still close to you. I’m close to my 2 too. They’re very different but loving in their own ways. I didn’t cook tonight either - went to see a friend after work then called at the fish and chip shop on the way home 🤦‍♀️.
Whiff you have done so well in making a new life for yourself and you more than deserve your PIP allowance. Keeep fighting. I hope you get there.
Sweetpeasue I’m sorry you’ve been in pain and had a bad day. I hope your pain eases tonight and you are able to get some rest.
I’m going to sleep now. I have to be up at 6 am for my swimming lesson.
Love to all in including those not personally mentioned. Hope you all have a restful night. ❤️ xxxx

Doodle you are a super carer! I hope that progress has been made by the end of the week. Ie some kind of settled meds routine that works

"We have a gardener, cleaner, maintenance guy all taking care of everything. All we have to look after is our side of the front door."

Sounds good. I have cleaner and gardener but looking after an older house house mops up ones energy and ££££ I don't actually have post divorce - income fine, no savings. ...when instead could be trying to get back to a U3A or craft group and of course wherever I go has to be a gym like mine and there is one in the city am looking at. I've lived in a flat before and am aware of snags - like who is surrounding you and are walls decent sound wise.

I'm 72 and would look for a flat in a retirement type block not McCarthy and Stone too many snags not needed hopefully for some long while, and with any luck will get weller and get out and about more. I've done enough prelim research to know I could afford a flat in the city.

Scaredycat Please dont worry. You are a kind person - I would never think anything untoward about any of your posts. I do hope you will find that you get stronger every day and week. Love x

Sweet Pea Sue- what a twit I am didn’t see your post!! So sorry you,ve had a painful day hope you sleep ok tonightxxx

SweetPeaSue- I forgot you!! Hope you,ve had a better day today . Xx

Another long day. Up early to go to hospital then pharmacy to collect new drugs then hairdresser back home and dinner.
Good care at the hospital. Two very experienced and nice nurses who are looking into DHs problems . We are to go back again tomorrow for another session depending on how todays treatment went.
Sweetpeasue no the hospital isn’t far about an hour away. So sorry to hear you’ve had another bad day. I feel frustrated for you and it’s not me going through it. I wish they could find out what’s wrong. Hope it’s easier this evening.
Wyllow I’m sure you’re someone who likes to keep active. Even though you know you should rest it must be hard to stop and take things easy.
Thank you. Not sure about being an amazing carer I just want to do whatever I can to help DH with his problems. He’s been so stoic over the years and not complaining. His legs are so painful I hope they can ease the pressure soon.
I hate dreams like that. Even though you know it’s a dream and not real you can’t shake it off.
It takes energy, physical and mental to move house. If you want to do so but are not up to it at the moment it’s a good idea to keep checking what’s on the market. Keeping an eye on prices and places you’d like to go too. If you log onto some of the bigger estate agents websites you can tell them what you’re interested in and they can email you with anything that meets your criteria. Looking at properties online is a good way to get a feel for what available.. we live in a flat and moved for that very reason so we are not responsible for the upkeep of a house. We have a gardener, cleaner, maintenance guy all taking care of everything. All we have to look after is our side of the front door.
Sorry I have no idea how old you are so this may not be relevant but have you considered something like a retirement flat where there is a communal lounge for residents.
Ellie Anne could you invite your son for lunch somewhere on his own (after all your DH took family out for an evening meal when you were away). Would he understand your desire to meet him on his own?
HVDY nice to see your DGDs. Your son is obviously doing his best to be helpful . Such a shame his Ex won’t allow it. It would make life so much easier for both of them and the children. I envy people who can sleep all night. I keep waking up. I fancy a pub meal. Not on the cards at the moment. Trying to avoid all salt in case if adds fluid.
Whiff it’s kind of you to try and help others from your own experiences. You are an amazing person. All you have suffered and been through yet you seem positive and taking care of yourself. That FB group sounds a good thing. It’s obviously a very rare thing you suffer from. Nice to be able to talk to others who understand what the rest of us can’t.
Not sick of you at all. Your story is compelling. I do hope you win your tribunal,
Ah Scaredycat what a nice thing to say. Dealing with Covid is bad enough but with the added complication of AF it’s no wonder your are not fully recovered yet.
We have been talking about AF with the cardiology nurses today, they are trying to identify what is going on with DHs heart to produce such high heart rate.
Are you face timing your sister most days now?
Candy a busy day for you no doubt working. Us retired people don’t need to worry about that. I found it really hard to get up early today to go to the hospital.
Nadateturbe how are you doing?

Well Whiff fingers crossed its not too long for a date. My, they are "behind". If you are successful it should be backdated....crossing all possible bits for that.

*Sweetpeasue" sorry its been a *hit day x I'm just pleased you gave the exercises a try and you massage decision sounds eminently sensible.

Scaredycat glad to hear of even a slight improvement...steady as she goes now. Baby steps.

My CFS has been worse: I'm not taking good care enough but get stressed by physical stuff so dont relax/rest. But some of that is my fault for letting me drive myself into activity when i need rest rest more rest.

but I know I share in BD's the constant wearing down that physical illness has on ones spirits and its emotional effects combined with MH factors ... Doodle more supportive vibes for you and MrD both going through a totally exhausting time. You are an amazing carer, you know?*

Not a good day in my head at all although I did get a good call re bowels - they will do the CT scan of small bowel/intestine area to complete inspection.

If that reveals nothing of use it is a management situation: and my restricted diet has actually helped a lot: I've got meds for nausea and cramps

Thank you so much for your comments re my family Scaredycat. I had a very desultory counselling today as was off colour and had a horrible dream where I had to care for a dead child but pretend he wasn't (you don't need Freud to interpret that!) but we did talk family over.

I think she sees it as a plus.

I'm not well enough at all to think of moving right now but....in a sense, post Ex, isolation, the need to rebuild my life wherever I am, is a good place to seriously consider this huge life move before the grandchildren pass the lovely cuddly stage they are in.

Family are staying put. DS happy at work, has tenure at the Uni, settled schools, not too far from DiL's parents and sis. That much, I asked them when they first floated it: they have got all the support systems and know the future ones for very disabled Granddaughter. There is a Quaker MfW in the City.

I just wish so much.... the energy to drive around and have a look at places facilities etc but when I go in 9 days just being there wipes me out.

But they live out in the sticks far from GP's hospitals MH care et al - car essential and when one cant drive? - so I would want to live in that city where DS works and I think not a house but a flat I am fed up of having to look after everything it takes and tbh..... have for some long time even when tasks shared by Ex because yes he was good for physical stuff but otherwise well you all know.

Whiff You've had more to cope with in your life than most people could ever even think of. You are inspiring. The fact that you are now so positive shows what a very strong person you are. Can you appeal against the PIP decision?

ScaredyCat The GDs move into their new place tomorrow. My son (their dad) offered to help pack/move/put tvs etc up, and to have his girls for the rest of this week, up to Sunday night. His ex refused all offers of help - she's a strange one, wants to struggle alone when it needn't be necessary. Has your AF been problematic again? The fatigue after Covid can linger. My DH and Son1 both found that they were tired for weeks/months afterwards.

Doodle I hope the Cardiology appointment went well for your husband. How are you both today?

SweetpeaSue You must be sick and tired of it. I hope the pain eases off soon.

Wyllow How's your day been?

Candy,Nadateturbe*,*EllieAnne and others - hope you're all ok.

I can't be bothered to cook, so did Son2 a quick smoked fish and air-fryer roasted veg. DH and I are going to go to the pub for our dinner x

Whiff Of course I dont mind you trying to help. It's really kind of you to care. Its awful what you've had to cope with in life. It must have been a lonely place when your illness was not understood. As Scaredycat says - You're a true inspiration. Its so awful that youve gone through the hoops and still not been given PIP. Totally disgusting. Will this be the final answer from them, I do hope not.
Doodle I hope everything went ok for you and DH today and you had a decent rest last night. I've been thinking of you.
Scaredycat I hope you will be feeling back to your old self soon. It sounds a nast dose of covid you've had there.
Wyllow Managed to go through those last night as had a fairly decent day yesterday pain-wise. Bit worried about the massage bit as didnt want to set off the pain and 'wake up' nerve or whatever.
HVDY* That was a nice night out with son and DH. I hope your day jas been good and the legs not too bad last night.
EllieAnne I'm so sorry youve been upset again. I hope its not been too bad today for you. I think its likely in prayer that our feelings will resurface and what we try to keep hidden will be difficult to stay that way. Its so hard for you in your circumstances.

Bad day indeed for me. Not been able to move from sofa with hot water bottle and painkillers. I really dont think Drs understand. Bladderpain but bowel also trying to join it.
Hope everyone has a decent night. Sorry not written more. x



.

Hi all
Doodle- I think you are tired because of all the stress you have been through lately.
I hope DH treatment at cardio unit is helping him. I should think they enjoy treating such a nice man.
I am still so tired and very anxious but I can do a bit more now. Someone I know told me today people who’ve had it lately are feeling exhausted. I would be better if the AF gave me a break .
I hope you had a good sleep last night and feel less weary todayxx
Wyllow- I think moving to be near your family is certainly worth considering. Are they going to stay where they live or is there a possibility they might move, that’s the most important consideration. I,m sure the local Quakers would welcome you with open arms if you do go. But still it gives you lots of food for thought and they are positive thoughts.
EllieAnne- can’t you sometimes have a meal with your son alone ? I can understand your DH wanting to see him too - do they get on well? Sorry you were upset - was it something someone said?
HVDY- nice to see the GDs - have they settled into their new house yet?
How do people just sleep anywhere? My DH can say I,ll just have 10 minutes and drop straight off- jealous or what!!
I,m glad Son 2 is still seeing his GF - it must be a support for her during her pregnancy. He will be a good Dad.
Whiff- glad you have a good life now after so many trials and difficulties. You are an inspiration.
Candy,Nadateturbe, and all who are regulars or visitors wishing you all a peaceful night.

Hand trembled and pressed button. Should have been hereditary Hyperekplexia gene mutation SLC6A5 type 3. Plus finding out I was also born with a hole in my heart and have paroxysmal atrial fibrillation. After 32 years of limb jerks and 4 months of seizures my limbs have been still for 3 years now. Bliss.

Apologies for all the wrong words and spelling mistakes . As I didn't preview it before my hand trembled . They tremble all the time and unless I concentrate hard on then they do there own thing. Funny enough it's my right hand which is worse. So when I stand still. I sway and the tremors from right hand travel down my stick . I am better moving even though I veer into things .

I hate it when my body stops me doing what I want . I get really mad at myself. But knowing what is wrong with me and it's rare has given me peace of mind . And finding the Hyperplexia Society Facebook page has made sense of my life. I am not weird I have HPX. Like here people freely help eachother. When I joined there where 880 and a couple members it's now 921 that's world wide.

Wyllow hope you have the MRI soon. They scare me as I didn't know I hated small spaces until my first one in 1988 . But in those days the machine took up a whole room and the tunnel was pitch black and my head was clamped down . At least they aren't as big nowadays but have lights but still scary. But a brilliant diagnostic tool. Was in just over 90 mins last one I had done on my heart but at these didn't have to worry about my limbs jerking. Did all the antenatal breathing exercises. Wyllow your yoga ones with help you if the tunnel scares you . My thinking everytime I had one is stay still that way it's over quicker. At least they will be able to have a full view of your alien 👽. And shortly after get it removed. Then that's one less thing to worry about .

Been waiting since September for PIP tribunal date . It will be a year end of this month since I asked for the form's and a year on 12th April since they had them. But the good thing about going to the Brain Charity event last week the lady helping me could see what I am like and said she would contact the solicitor dealing with my case to tell her what I am like.

As I have said before until disabled people physically and mentally or both write the forms and do the assessments no disabled person will get a fair hearing . Abled bodied people should realise they could become physically or mentally or both ill suddenly. These people sit in their own smug world and pass judgement on other people's lives because they don't have to look them in the face. My sister in law has MS and she had years of fighting for benefits. She had to give up work at 52 because she worked in the NHS she got her private pension. But when she married my brother it was taken off her and told she would get it back when she gets her state pension she was 62 few months ago.

When I looked after my mom for 18 months I was only allowed 6 months carers allowance because they said she would get better my mom hade grade 3 breast cancer and dementia 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
I can see why people become activists for physical and mental health conditions.

I know many here will have had to fight for benefits for yourself and loved ones. And I can't see it ever changing.

Anyway you must be sick of me by now.

Hope you are all doing better each day and your loved ones as well. 🤗

Have to do this in a couple of posts as so much happens to you all daily and I can never remember who said what.

Sweetpeasue hope you didn't mind me suggesting things. When my health got worse in 1988 and woke to not being able to control my limbs. Because our GP had no idea what was wrong plus 2 months later a 3 week stay in hospital which most of which is a blur but do remember nurse shouting at me to stop making a fuss . I wasn't I was crying because I wasn't allowed to see my children. She said you only have post natal depression.

By then our daughter had just started school and son was 8 months old. Luckily can home next day.

As no Google in those days we devoured all the neurological books we could trying to find out what was wrong with me. My symptoms have bits of lots of neurological conditions.

My GP exhausted all the consultants he could send to me too including a psychiatrist which my husband hated but our GP said he knew she would clear me therefore he could send to see other consultants. He tracked down the top neurologist at the time in 1992 Professor Marsden at neurological hospital London. He did every test available. And could tell me everything I hadn't got but not what was wrong. He said electronic impulses in my brain must be misfiring . Hence all my symptoms.

I hope you get help with a proper diagnosis soon..

Doodle I have no choice not to go out as I do not want to be housebound. All my life had pains in my legs and fell. My parents where told it was growing pains and I was clumsy. Things got worse in 1988 aged 29 but my wonderful husband just said we alter our way of life to suit you. Most likely have already written about this. After he died in 2004 I was 45 he was 47. Even though in constant pain and having multiple limb jerks I still went out with my trusty walking stick which I had been using since I was 29. Used a wheelchair when the children where young and going long distance my husband had wheelchair rage anyone cut in front of us he went for them.

After he died our son was in his first year at college our daughter final year at uni. She came home to help her brother through A levels . Both left home permanently in 2006 it's what I wanted . My son went to uni . Daughter was only doing temp jobs and wasn't using her education plus she had met her future husband at uni. Both going made me happy. They had to live their lives to the full as I told them me and their dad had our time now it was their's. When you have children you have to let them go and make their own lives and have their own families. You no longer become first in their lives which is how it should be. Their spouses and children have to come first. As we put our spouse's and children first before our parents.

Even though all my problems had both parents and mother in law dependant on me. So they had to come before my wants and needs. Only after mom died in 2017 did I realise how much it had cost me in my health and only recently realised by reading all your posts it had to have effected my mental health. I was born physically and mentally exhausted. That's why a few weeks after months funeral and my health got worse just thought I was run down . I had been looking after others since I was 11. When my nan was ill I was taken over to look after her over a weekend . My 2 non working aunt's looked after her during the week. But I loved my nan very much so never thought it was odd. I could have said no as my parents asked me and no pressure put on me to do it.

Anyway didn't realise I had jaundice caused by 2 tablets I had been taking since 1992 to help with my syptoms. Whilst seriously ill and told people with my bilirubin levels normally died when my gastrologist when he discharged me from his care 5 months later. I knew I was seriously ill but only sent 5 days in hospital. But once home in all the years I have lived alone apart from last 18 months of mom's life when she lived with me but her cancer and dementia meant I was still alone as mom didn't know who I was thought I was her mom. I have never been frightened living on my own until then and I was terrified. I was very weak and jaundice does terrible things to your body. Plus still having all my usual problems.

But it was my wake up call my life had to change. Hence deciding on 3 things I wanted to do . Lose weight ,move and get fit. I existed in my old house but since moving to my bungalow and moving closer to my children I live my life to the full. Health care here is brilliant hence me finally getting my diagnosis of Hyperplexia

Reading other thread it looks like you have been turned down again for PIP, Whiff. Unbelievable: so sorry,

HVDY Key removal was told today:

Any limpona lump over 5cm with a blood supply, and something else I don't understand (hence MRI) is always removed because it can develop pre-cancerous cells which may or may not go further. Not the same as actually having cancer!

Thats what an MRI will show more clearly I suppose it may give a time scale too ie do it sooner rather than later. I have previously had a bit of my cheek removed due to a dark patch with pre-cancerous cells but a brilliant cosmetic surgeon.

I dont know if where it is makes a difference it will go anyway becuase of size and features.

Your lucky DH some people can just drop off to sleep like logs wherever lucky people, DS is one of them as well as first Ex.

Don't we all wish differently?

Frankly Ellie Anne I think its reasonable to go to see him sometimes with DH and sometimes not, unless son is insisting. Every mum wants time with family without DH.

Wyllow I expect the removal of the lump is because of where it actually is (did you say shoulder or shoulderblade area?)
SweetpeaSue The physio Wyllow mentioned might be good.
Doodle Hope all goes well with your husband. I hope you'll both sleep well tonight. The GDs came yesterday, which was lovely. My husband doesn't mind sleeping on the settee occasionally - he gets to sleep very quickly and manages to sleep all night.
EllieAnne I suppose it's natural that your husband also wants to see your son. What upset you this evening?

Son2 went to his GF's for tea, and will be back tomorrow teatime. DH and I went for a pub meal with Son1, then they had a few pints of real ale at a micropub (I drove), so that was nice.

I hope all BDers have a restful night x

Yes this is the reserved son. We were close when he was younger and he helped me when I was having a terrible time with my elderly father. Horrible emotional blackmail.
I’m not too bad if I see him on my own but that’s not happening. If we go to a park dh wants to come. I was at my bible study group tonight. Got upset during the prayer time but hid it well.

Problem is, there are physios and physios. I had a wonderful one who was the yoga teacher too and she was hands on with massage and knew so very much completely person centred. I have learnt so much over the years as she taught yoga from a physio POV

They are more trained these days for quick in quick out easy solutions that dont look properly at what people are actually likely to do unless you get a good one. But I'd never rule it out worth a try.

(The benefit in the video of cobra is the back curve to open the whole area as most of our daily moment is forward bends.

You can replicate this by reclining backwards over built up cushions or pillows. Gives a gentle stretch and opening.)

its not a substitute for operations, ever, but for the lucky few it can prevent the need, but you cant predict which ones, and the less invasive the better if it works out.

Doodle I hadn't realised that MrD Had this each morning. I so much hope its helpful. x

I've spent all evening since I woke up after last nights warm chat with DS thinking again about moving up to be near family. Looking into local resources quite seriously. In the city they live near housing is the same as mine, but outside near where they live its cheaper, I could afford a bungalow.
Its all fantasies atm and a result of loneliness and the fact I'm not really seeing anyone except gym and Quakers. But then I'm having to make a rebuilding start to life post 11 years with Ex anyway. So worth thinking on.

Doodle Dont worry - you need to rest when you're dealing with so much. I know many things-appts ect can start early-Do you have far to travel? I hope treatment helps too and you have an untroubled night.
Yes, ikwym about the physio. DH had to 'go with it' for hands, before they would do carpal tunnel release ops on both. Take care Doodle. Sending a hug. x

Evening all. Short post from me tonight. For some reason I am so tired. Kept nodding off most of the day, up early this morning to get to the GP surgery. DH is having treatment at the cardio unit this week so early starts every day. Just hope it helps. They’ve all been very nice.
Wyllow I’m sorry the alien is causing you problems. Perhaps removal is just a precautionary thing. Good job you’ve got your d sis on hand to talk to.
A pet can be good company. A dog would be good, you can meet all sorts of people out walking a dog. Good for cuddles too.
Sweetpeasue thank you, yes you’re right I was thinking of Scaredycat.
FB groups or similar can be a big help. Talking to others in the same boat makes you feel less alone.
With regard to the bowel physio, I would go with it. It’s supposed to help you so you can keep pushing if it doesn’t. If it’s no help at all then you can go back to the Dr /Consultant and tell them. That’s what DH is doing with his balance physio. He says if he doesn’t go they won’t accept it didn’t help they’ll just say he didn’t try it.
Ellie Anne like HVDY I had a loving family but I do know others who had a strained relationship with their parents and they too have issues with their children. If you are not shown love and caring as a child then it’s hard to know how to create that bond with others,
Could you go somewhere with your son and grandson like a park or play area where you don’t feel so awkward?
HVDY glad you had a good night. Is your DH ok sleeping in the sofa? Did you see any of your DGC over the weekend.
I didn’t see mine but had phone calls.
Scaredycat hope you are ok. Are you feeling any better?
Sorry it’s so short and sweet tonight I am so tired, take care all.

Wyllow Thankyou. Just had a run through of the video and I could do those, apart from perhaps the one on tum(cobra?). I do have different issues but its worth giving it a go and might help - can't harm.

Hope everyone is ok.