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Black Dog 15

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Doodle Sat 04-Feb-23 21:37:47

For the support, understanding and sharing of mental health issues. All are welcome.

HowVeryDareYou2 Thu 09-Feb-23 22:46:51

Thanks, Candy6. I'm going to get myself sorted out. Job first (applied for a few today).

It's good to be back, and I'll "see" you all tomorrow. Hope all BDers have a restful night x

nadateturbe Thu 09-Feb-23 23:07:17

HVDY I'm glad you came back. 🙂 You have all been together so long. Fingers crossed for your job search.

Ellie Anne Fri 10-Feb-23 00:17:17

Hvdy i am so pleased you are back.🙂🙂🙂

Whiff Fri 10-Feb-23 05:38:03

HVDY so glad you are back 💐. Be back later still tired so going to have a lie in .

HowVeryDareYou2 Fri 10-Feb-23 07:46:52

nadateturbe, EllieAnne, Whiff Thank you smile

Wyllow3 Fri 10-Feb-23 07:55:30

Felt the same, HVDY.

I woke with very troubled thoughts indeed. Taking myself to the gym to see how it goes.

HowVeryDareYou2 Fri 10-Feb-23 07:59:20

Wyllow Thanks. Hope your troubling thoughts aren't to do with recent unsettled stuff on BD. Have a good gym session and come back later.

Scaredycat Fri 10-Feb-23 08:26:23

What a lovely surprise to see you back HVDY- a big fat welcome back and virtual hug!!
See everyone laterxx

HowVeryDareYou2 Fri 10-Feb-23 09:18:10

Thank you, ScaredyCat

HowVeryDareYou2 Fri 10-Feb-23 09:24:46

My moan for the day - GP rang my husband's mobile at 8 (he was in the shower), wouldn't tell me what it was about, asked DH to ring. After an hour of trying to get through, he was told his appt was cancelled, that particular GP isn't there today. Someone will ring DH "some time this afternoon" to find out how he is. (I've been telling him what to say as otherwise he won't bother speaking up). Arrrgghh.......

Wyllow3 Fri 10-Feb-23 11:29:59

Gym was nice. Felt hmmm I’ll do a shop and have a snooze, will just pick up extra meds…..
Then I found out a psychiatrist’s e mail saying ‘go ahead for extra meds to tide over tough period had arrived to me but not to the GP.
And the letter had said, ‘seems reasonable but let GP who knows you better than me decide’

And there isn’t a GP that knows me anymore like one did.

So what to do? I’ve turned up in person at GP of course ( it’s en route) and sit and wait until something is done.

Despite feeling desperate, I do accept that these blips happen, I’ve had to do a lot of joined up connecting MH and GP services. But to do this one has to really know systems. (Underfunded MH service rant as it was their blip, ditto, ‘what about people who don’t know these systems)

Oh so tired.

I’m sorry you have been delayed to Monday HVDY for Mr HV. Reflecting, lifelong the men I’ve been with have needed either urging or direct action help to approach GP: it seems to be how it is with many tho I’m sure not all.

nadateturbe Fri 10-Feb-23 11:55:06

Not a good start to the day HVDY and Wyllow3.
I think a lot of men are like that.

HowVeryDareYou2 Fri 10-Feb-23 13:00:40

Wyllow3 What a palaver for you. It seems you're having to chase things up yourself, which shouldn't happen. The NHS is hopeless in many ways lately. I hope you get sorted out with the meds you need.

Good news - that woman collected her vacuum cleaner and bagful of cleaning stuff. No conversation was had, so that was ok. grin.

Sweetpeasue Fri 10-Feb-23 14:18:18

Wyllow Hope you managed at last to get your meds sorted and didn't have to wait long at GP surgery. You could do without any complications right now. Just a thought to reassure, Ive not had the full colonoscopy but 2 people in book group have had this and both said it went well with them. 1 was fascinated by the screen pics and other felt great with gas n air. Its disappointing that we often cant stick with 'own' GPs now. Im sure it would be much better for everyone (GPs too) if we could.
Candy6 Hope your day is going ok today.
HVDY Not the best start to your day. I hope your husband gets some satisfaction from his GP call and gets some help. I can understand you wanting some input--it can be better when there's 2 of you. My DH is okish. I'm insisting on him taking BP readings as was 170 (top figure) yesterday though 147 this morn. Still has headache. Good youve had cleaning stuff picked up now.

Feeling quite depressed today as worried about DH and had slight bleed couple of dys ago and thought that part of problem might be over. Stopped now but just bit on tenterhooks. Hope everyone is coping today. x

HowVeryDareYou2 Fri 10-Feb-23 16:16:51

SweetpeaSue When is your husband due to see someone again? Is he taking Paracetamol or anything for the headache? IF he shows any sign of another TIA, get a taxi or drive him to hospital straightaway.

I could strangle my husband - a GP rang him half an hour ago, asked him lots of questions and then said she had "no idea about what to suggest". Bloody hell. He mentioned lung function tests, she said he'd need to be referred to hospital for that but it wouldn't be possible until he's been seen by a GP (as should have happened today), so she's made him an appointment to see a GP next Friday! No tablets, different inhaler, nothing. He's had £120 pay this week. angry

Scaredycat Fri 10-Feb-23 16:32:19

Afternoon all.
Wyllow- hope you were able to see somebody to help you and get those meds sorted. It’s so difficult now when every time you see a different doctor and they don’t know you or your personality. Nothing ever seems straightforward anymore especially with meds.

Yes most men are so reticent to even see the Doc let alone open up once they get there.
HVDY- glad you didn’t have to confront the cleaning lady- she didn’t know what a good person she had employed - her loss.
Good luck with the new job hunt - sure there’s a great job for you somewhere.
Hope DH was able to speak with someone he felt at ease with and speak confidently with.
SweetPeaSue- glad to hear your DH had a lower BP reading this morning. From experience BP readings vary so much during the day and very much depend on what you have been doing or feeling. It’s a shame he still has a headache but I expect maybe he feels a bit stressed.
Sorry you feel down today but it’s understandable as you are worried about DH . Also you have been thrown again by the bleed but hopefully it was a temporary blip. I know when the HA rears its nasty head my brain goes into overdrive at any little change. Maybe tomorrow you could do something nice together - perhaps a visit to the sea.
Candy- I do feel so very sad when my son goes home but I know that he is very happy where he lives - not easy though is it .. Covid and a bad accident for his wife meant the 3 year gap between visits which is usually only 1 year.
I,m feeling very tired at the moment - AF is much more frequent and going on for days at a time but digging in and trying to just get on with things. Had good chat with GP and he was kind and reassuring - it’s just me and my fears that don’t help.
Hope you all have a restful evening. Doodle,Whiff,EllieAnne,Nadaturbe,Joanne and allxxx

Sweetpeasue Fri 10-Feb-23 17:04:07

HVDY Oh no that's such a waste of an appt. So your DH is no further forward really, with no other inhaler to help him in the meantime.
My DH has no appt to see anyone again yet. Specialist writing to GP for them to refer him to BP specialist. Taking paracetamol.Was told to call 999 by Dr if another suspected TIA. I asked if quicker if I took him but told to call 999. I'm at a loss as to what to do. Ambulance workers here were striking today. I'm sure/hope it's unlikely but would be best knowing.
Scaredycat Oh that AF - you must be so sick of it. Wish I knew what to suggest. Your fearful thoughts, Im sure will contribute but its not easy to just erase those is it. You have a lot going on right now too. I hope it settles soon. DH takes reading same time of day but you're right they can bsry so much. Yes, a visit to sea is on tomorrow. Keep those reassuring thoughts from your GP at foremost and jope you get some rest tonight.

Scaredycat Fri 10-Feb-23 17:19:11

HVDY- can’t believe your DH has to wait for another week - it wasn’t him who cancelled the appt. The least they could have done was prescribe him another inhaler. So much stress for you both. No wonder you are spitting feathers!!!xx

Wyllow3 Fri 10-Feb-23 17:37:57

Meds sorted temporarily, but it got so bad I rung crisis at 1pm. 4.30 came and no one had rung back, and so I propped the line, and found out that a useful email I'd sent them about meds had been taken as "my issue" not this morning's wanting to die feelings (stronger than usual) and dread I'll drop into a MD episode.

So on prompting I did get a call - someone stayed in late - but it was brief - didnt help immediate feelings except that I know that they are alerted, its noted and triggers noted down (I think she will make adequate notes, given how she sounded - you get those who are lovely and sympathetic but make bad notes) - to trigger a message to my psychologist who is "in charge" on Monday or if not her the duty team.

I cant get cross with them as I know the pressures they are under - but at times that gets in the way of me asking for help.
Its when I stop talking that its worst.

Sweetpeasue Fri 10-Feb-23 17:55:14

Wyllow Just seen your message. That was such a bad mistake when you were calling crisis in desperate state. I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad. Hang on in there. Youve been through such a lot. The natural anxiety surrounding your bowel issies being sorted will no doubt be adding to everything. If you need to 'talk/chat' anything you can pm me any time. I realise that MH trained people are the first port of call obvs. Just dont want you to be without anyone. Hope you are feeling more emotionally stable at present. x

Wyllow3 Fri 10-Feb-23 18:10:22

Thank you. Am going to distract after long wait to see how it is.

Its too many triggers at once, medium and. short-term. Overload, for too long.

The cross-city crisis teams operate 24/7 its just that out of hours teams nowadays, I know the response is basically at level, "I've taken an OD or just going to" level. In the week/day time you get access to your own team and usually more time and they know you.

HowVeryDareYou2 Fri 10-Feb-23 18:20:23

ScaredyCat I hope your AF settles down soon. It must make you worn out. It's good that you've at least got a good GP (better than the ones here). Hope you can have a more relaxing evening.

SweetpeaSue Getting referrals seem to be sometimes long-winded. I hope your husband won't have to wait too long. Cutting out salt helps to lower BP (processed foods like bacon, sausages, soups, crisps, etc). I hope you and your DH have a restful evening.

Wyllow3 Don't stop talking - to the MH workers, us on here, any crisis line. The answers might not always be there, but people will listen.

Well, Son2 and I just had a lovely dinner (I cooked). Salmon (he had seabass) with roast potatoes, asparagus, mangetout and baby sweetcorn. DH doesn't like any of those things (too healthy) so he says he'll have beans on toast in a while grin

LilyGransnet (GNHQ) Fri 10-Feb-23 18:45:07

Hello all,

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected] Support from other Gransnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other's will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.


Doodle Fri 10-Feb-23 19:29:46

I typed a long post and then deleted it by accident. 😡
HVDY not a very helpful appointment for your DH. If I may be bold enough to suggest something before your visit next week, type a list of questions you want answers to. Write down all the troubling symptoms. Have a copy for yourselves and one for the GP. Then hand the list to the GP and ask for answers to the questions and comments. DH and I have done this several times and it works well. I hope your appointment next week is more successful.
Glad that woman collected her cleaning stuff without comment.
Wyllow I am worried that you are not getting the help you need. I know resources are limited but it’s so easy to get overlooked if someone just assigns your calls incorrectly.
I’m glad you’ve got a short term fix for your meds but sorry your mood has been so low. I hate the thought of you feeling so bad. Can the extra meds help your mood do you think?
We are all here and care for you but sometimes that’s not enough. Are you worried about your forthcoming procedures or is it more about your Ex. Please take care. Gentle hug.
Scaredycat I’m sorry your AF is a constant problem at the moment. It’s good your Gp was reassuring but we can’t help how we feel. I realise now how precious that visit from your son was. I hope his wife is on the mend now. Have a relaxing weekend this weekend, hope you do something nice.
Sweetpeasue I know you will be worried about your DH. After mine had his TIAs I kept checking on him to see if he was ok. Have you seen the FACE advertisements for stroke? They are a good starting point if you are at all worried. I used to keep getting my DH to grip my fingers and touch his nose. The anxiety does calm down after a while but I hope he gets seen at the BP clinic soon.
nadateturbe Whiff hope you have a good weekend
Candy I didn’t have a hobby until I stopped work completely and then it was only months later I took up sewing. Apart from your two days at work you look after your DGS so your week is quite busy anyway.
Ellie Anne it’s lovely to have HVDY back isn’t it. Hope you have a good weekend too.
I’ve been busy today. Had to drop parcel off for DH, collect his meds, have the car washed and take his heart monitor back to the hospital. Only queue we encounter was at the car wash. Who would have thought that 3pm on a Friday would be such a popular time.
Hope all have a good weekend……and rest …💕

Wyllow3 Fri 10-Feb-23 19:49:15

Its all of them sort of land together yes the Ex stuff too has been active Doodle.

As I say to workers, yes, this part of my life has to be about making new friends/time with Quakers/gym/crafts/family/bit of a laugh etc

post the isolation of the abuse, but...constantly held back by CFS or spending the time on appointments of related stuff and sometimes it feels so alone in the world because I CAN Socialise well, given the opportunity but they have shrunk.

btw, I should have put a warning to moderators that I'm aware of all of those resources, but thank you. And if I'm posting here, it means I would also reach out there.

Now of course my mums words have been trotting through my head, "you're making a fuss about nothing!"

I'll catch up later, you've all been lovely, just watching silly TV to escape head

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