Black Dog 15

This is all too sad and bewildering- whatever is happening?

Just a flying visit to say thank you for all your lovely comments.
I just need a break for a bit but I will be back I promise.

Please take care of yourselves . I won’t be far away. Love to all x

Like everyone else, I'm so sad about Doodle not being on here (I PM'ed her). She gives such very sound, caring advice and is always so compassionate, despite her own worries.

I don't know what the hell has happened here lately. Neither Anniebach nor Joce has said exactly what has upset them. We all showed concern for Annie when she was stuck at home, on liquid meal replacements, sleeping on a sofa. We were all delighted for her when she moved into a nice home.

I felt BD was a little community, a place where I could post what I was feeling, good or bad. I've been on it for 3 years (under the name Salsa Queen before). I also place the different word games (it keeps my brain active. I'm now going to delete my account. I wish everyone on BD lots of luck. xx

Doodle I wish you weren't going as like everyone else I don't understand why suddenly some on BD seemed to have made it them and us. As far as I see everyone has supported eachother. If anyone has hurt anyone I don't see how and when. Did I hurt anyone with my rambles? Was I to chatty and is that why Annie said it had changed to a chat thread. I won't apologise for who I am as I am chatty in real life. I am the same on all the threads I post on. I know there are some trouble makers on GN but none have appeared on this thread.

It's all so confusing.

I have not long came home from work, what the hell has happened, Doodle and Annie are lovely caring posters, I will be sorry if they go.
This is a thread that posters felt safe, could post how they feel, without being shot down in flames.
I hope this resolves its self as so many people have been helped and found comfort on this thread.

Scaredycat When I read about you seeing your son I felt so very happy for you. I was hoping that your weekend wasnt too fraught in some way but I'm over the moon for you.
Like EllieAnne 's post, I agree with everything youve said. I cant imagine a BD without Doodle. Without you are anyone here.
I so hope your dear sister is being cared for still and is in a peaceful state of mind at present. I have missed your posts they are so lovely to all.

EllieAnne I share your every word and am so much with you. I dont think any of us understand. I'm at a loss as to why this is happening. We have all shared and cared for each other deeply. I dont know the RL you EllieAnne, and you dont know the RL me but I feel our hearts have bared to each other and we have become connected in so many ways. Bless you EllieAnne.

I am feeling so sad tonight. I don’t really understand what is it all about. What has gone wrong? People have ups and downs and they share them. Others respond with empathy and compassion and show interest in other people’s lives.
It’s possible to share things here that you wouldn’t share with friends or family because it is anonymous.
I have appreciated every single response and hope I have kindly responded to others. I have prayed for people whether they are believers or not.
When Annie was stuck in her house with very little help everyone was concerned and Caring.
And how delighted we were when she was found a place to be safe and looked after.
As I said I don’t understand what has happened but am so sad.

Doodle I've just read these messages. I had to give BD a big rest
today as Ive realised the amount of harm the recent days have done to myself. Its has also affected my husband and thats going too far in his present state.
I'm so very sorry that youre leaving for a while, but I thoroughly understand your reasons. You have been placed in an impossible situation. You have always been a compassionate poster and you have posted at all times to help others.
I feel like youve become a dear friend as so many here have too.
I will have to seriously consider if I want to carry on here. So many loved friends. Its all such a shame.

Doodle I read the thread every day and you are one of the constants I look for, I am so so sorry you are upset. Please reconsider we all need you here. With love xx (Lavender)

Doodle, I can’t imagine you ever upsetting anyone. On top of the loss of Annie, this is devastating. Please reconsider.

Oh Doodle I don’t know what to say. You are so much a part of my life now I will miss you so much. How could all this happen in such a short time. You so don’t deserve any kind of criticism all you ever do is be kind,supportive and loving. You would never ever deliberately hurt anyone. I,m so sad for you.

Doodle thank you for being so kind. To everyone. Posting on BD takes a lot of energy.
I'm sorry that you are upset. Sending 💐. xx

Dear All.
I am so sorry but I am not posting on Black Dog for a while I have upset someone dear to me which was never my intention but it is what it is.

I have been posing on BD for years and doing my best to be supportive of others but it’s now time for me to take a break. Please keep posting and supporting each other and I hope everyone will always be made welcome to join in.

I wish you all well and send my love and caring for you all.
Thanks for your support. Much love to all xx

Scaredycat so good to see you in with the very happy DS news. Aw, treasure, hope its not so long next time. Its very good to hear your sister is not so distressed and confused. At least now she can understand what might be needed with her illness, hoping for the most benign outcome there. Bests also for GGS scan.

Candy yes it is a very understandable fear that when you cant do so much that outlet isnt there. All I can say, is that I have adapted to a certain extent, and also suggest seriously (well, I would, wouldn’t I, I’ managed to qualify as a teacher some years ago) ) you consider taking up yoga. Its an amazing discipline as you can do it strongly and energetically, or very, very gently. It does calm the mind to a degree, depending on underlying feelings of course. Swimming has in the past also been a recourse as again you can do a lot or very little.
But I do believe the meds will work for you eventually, hang on in there.

Doodle I have taken all the card outside and plan is to field it into collections bit by bit, but I cant use the treadmill until someone comes to set it up. Its heavier than I thought, hoping the fold up action is easily do-able.

Very kindly written and to the point, how everyone has “questioned themselves” some with a considerable degree of distress. Its very clear and has always been from the moment I joined BD 14 how much Annie has given and still does, and all still welcome and cared for. How is MrD, btw, with the RLS? Hs that imported at all?

I had a call from the hospital to collect the meds you need before the colonoscopy and a nurse was there to discuss the complications over sedation, got a real grilling as it complex and her request that I take no meds in the day before the procedure completely unrealistic. Short education to nice nurse in the function of some MH meds and effects of not taking (there’s no reason she should know all about MH conditions so I didnt mind in fact am glad to provide info ie one drug has possible heart issues therefore impacts on what they offer.

Also because I’ve had light MRSA in previous hospital admissions: she asked me to come at the end of the list which throws out arrangements with DS to come and how long he can stay as he has to take DGD to hospital the next day.

But over all 10 stars to the nurse and the NHS for that precious time.

xx to all other BD’s, I’ve run out of oomph time for curling up but hold in my thoughts.

I pressed "post" too soon. I hope everyone's day has been alright. I went to aqua aerobics and now I'm going to tidy up then take DH to a pub for dinner later. Hope all BDers have a pleasant evening x

Wyllow Thank you. DH is no better, the inhaler has no effect. Dressing gown days are lovely. Relax and rest. I'll find another job (if I feel so inclined)

Candy6 Thank you. Your dog(s) sound delightful company. They are like family members, aren't they?

ScaredyCat Thank you for posting and telling us your news. I'd wondered where you'd got to. What lovely news, seeing your son after such a long time. So happy for you. Sorry the news of your sister isn't as good as it could be. She's stable and still here, at least. I hope your GGS's scan goes well. Fingers crossed all will be ok.

Doodle Your poor husband. All those tablets! There surely must be side-effects to all or most of them. My husband is still coughing - it's only when he moves at all or does anything (going from 1 room to another, making a drink, having a shower, etc). The only time he doesn't cough is when he's doing nothing at all.

I'm disappointed that the job didn't work out - the signs were there but I chose to ignore them. No bother, I'll apply for something else.

Wyllow we’ve still got the cardboard from out treadmill in our hall. Must get round to breaking it down soon but it’s really thick stuff. Have you tried your treadmill yet?
Candy sometimes we have to take things at our own pace as we know what our bodies can cope with. I hope your meds begin to help soon. DH is very aware of this. He takes between 20 to 30 different tablets a day (takes him about an hour every day to sort them out). He is very wary of starting something new or adjusting doses because of the side effects.
You say you like to keep active. Certainly walking your lovely dog is a good thing. Do you have any hobbies?
Scaredycat I’ve been really worried that you would come back to the thread and read all that’s been going on and wonder what has become of us all.
What wonderful news you’ve seen your son. Now I can understand how jittery you were last week. 3 years is a long time. I’m so pleased he came. Must have been such a joyous occasion for you.
I’m sorry the news of your sister isn’t better. At least she is holding her own. Now the wait for your GGSs scans. I hope all will be well. Good to have you back with us. We have missed you.

Whiff what has upset me most about all this is the number of posters who are questioning every word they write wondering if it s the wrong phrasing the wrong words. If their post is going to be taken out of context or if they’re going to be criticised.
Please post what you want and say what you want to.
Your seizure must have been frightening for you and your family. Not being able to speak or explain how you were feeling.
I’m so pleased you have made a new life for yourself and you get to see your Dd and grandsons regularly. Gardening must be a joy. Being outside and working. Your life sounds interesting and full.
What a lovely post. Thank you for sharing with us and thank you for your comments. I truly mean all are welcome. I don’t think any of us have indicated otherwise.
nadateturbe don’t worry we know that posting can be difficult for you. Just pop in and tell us how you are whenever you feel like it.
HVDY I’m so disappointed for you about your job. I truly feel you would be an asset to people both in helping with their cleaning and chatting to them. I’m sure it’s more important to have someone spare time for a chat than it is to have a hoovered carpet. I hope something better comes along for you soon.
I don’t think I have read a single word that you have written that anyone would think is showing off. You have had your own troubles and have shared those with us as you have shared your joy at good news. We must have light to see a way out of the darkness. We can’t live with doom and gloom all the time
I’m sorry about your DH. Is he improving at all? .

Dear Joce you make it sound as though the rest of us don’t care about Annie. Which is extremely unfair and untrue.

I have asked Annie if she wanted us all to leave BD so that she could retain the thread name for those who wanted things to be different. Annie said she wanted us to stay on BD so that “those who are posting on it now feel protected”.

I can tell you now that those posting on here now feel anything but protected they feel targeted and got at. I can’t tell you how many PMs I’ve received over the last few days by many who have been very upset by what’s been said. Each one taking it as personal criticism which as you know isn’t a good think for anyone with MH problems.

I’m sorry the thread has changed and no longer suits some but to make out it’s a deliberate act to destabilise the thread is not fair nor is it fair to target one or two posters.

For all those who have offered words of support thank you.

Good morning dear friends.
After 3 years of waiting this weekend I finally got to see my son!! I dare not say he was coming in case it didn’t happen - such anxiety for days beforehand. But it did happen and the longed for hug was so good. Seeing him and my DD together again was beyond words. That’s why I have been absent so I could squeeze the drops out of these few days.
But so much has changed on BD since I was last here. I,ve read all the posts and feel so sad that all this has happened. My first feeling was guilt- was it my fault? Then I thought how much you all mean to me and how much being on this thread has helped personally. When I first joined it was a lifeline and helped me more than I can say. I think being able to share the good news as well as the bad is what friendship is all about and I know that everyone is welcomed here with open arms. Physical and mental health are intertwined and one affects the other so often. I feel sad that all this has happened and would like us to continue as we are- sharing our troubles and good news and supporting each other and those who need help and kindness.
We are friends.
A quick update on my sister- she is not really making much progress but she is still here and fighting. At least she is mentally recovered but the physical problems are continue.
My GGS has not had his scans yet and just getting on with his life. I think it might be next week.
My son went home this morning so a lot of emotion to deal with today but just wanted to say thinking of you all and will be back posting tomorrow.
Love to all past ,present and future friends.

Sadly this will be my last post.
Annie I hope you read this I’m so very sad this has happened you deserve better all that you have put in to the BDG..
you have many loyal friends, I don’t think you realise how much you are loved I will miss all.😢

Morning all.
HVDY I’m sorry recent events have upset you. Please don’t come off GN. You have been so kind on here, helping others and obviously find it beneficial so please try not to let others have said upset you. I hope you are feeling better today. What a shame about your job. You sounded so good at it. Honestly, some of these managers need personality transplants and become more sensitive to the needs of others. Try not to be too disheartened, I’m sure there’ll be other opportunities for you although in my experience, “nice, little jobs” are few and far between. Sorry about the problems your husband is having. I hope he gets well soon.
Wyllow Thank you. Yes, exercise is good whilst I feel fit enough to do it but things get more difficult as you get older and my worry is when I physically can’t do it. Glad reading is an outlet for you. My anxiety doesn’t really allow me to do it as I feel I have to be “doing”. I hope my meds kick in soon too. The way I’ve decided to introduce them (and it is me, not told by GP) is making it longer but I’m so afraid of the possible side effects. Hope you get the treadmill sorted.
Doodle yes a busy day. I try to make all my days busy. I’d really like to be one of these people who enjoy pottering about but my anxiety doesn’t allow it. I do my job because of my MH. I feel I need a purpose. It can be a toxic atmosphere at times but I put up with it. The extra money comes in handy too tbh. My dog is my lifeline. I love him dearly. I have an older dog who I love too of course but it’s the younger one who’s my buddy and my walking companion. He’s five now and very active!
Whiff it was good to read your story and I like a good chat too! Always helps I think. Hope you are ok.
Love to all on here and hope all have a good day xx

WhiffNothing at all wrong with being chatty.
Nothing at all. Be yourself. 🙂

Hmm, Mr HV is really struggling, isn't he? xx your way HVDY.

Morning all..slept late because late last night I was unpacking the treadmill. Its heavy but was sat like a Huge Thing in front of the TV. Anyone want tons of cardboard? Dressing gown day ahead.

Best days possible, BD's. x