Very embarrassing problem

M AND S do period pants which I use for urine leaks at night. Check out their website.

I have a similar problem too. Doc suggested that I take anti diarrhoea tablets esp if going out for a meal (take before eating) which does help. I also know to keep away from certain food items.

Pelvic floor exercises can help with your problem as well as bladder incontinence. Not saying it will in your case but "every little helps?

It's not for everyone, it doesn't work for everyone, but it is something I discussed with my physio when we were talking about bladder exercises - depends if you can still squeeze your anus - definitely agree to get a referral to discuss all options including that.

Kittypaws! I also had a super fast delivery of second child, like you (15 mins!!!! - it was a bit shocking, actually) which also resulted in tears. The dr sewing me up had already been on duty for 12 hours. As a result, I have a fissure, which does not cause any fecal incontinence, but, don’t laugh, I fart forwards . Which is weird and annoying.
What you have, and I prob have mildly is an anal fissure. Go to your Dr and have a referral to get it repaired. It is usually a very successful operation. You don’t have to live with this.

You might also talk to a pelvic physiotherapist

I agree with MadeIn Yorkshire I also had excellent reports about Ms Sohier Elneil at UCLH although unless one lives in the area it would be a private consultation which can be expensive.
I notice kittypaws49 does not live in UK, along with all the dietary changes advised here have you thought you may have a rectal prolapse that could be helped by a vaginal ring pessary that can support and rectify bowel, bladder and vagina position thus avoiding the need for surgery

My daughter is 46 and had the same problem for 15yrs. She has had numerous hospital appointments and tried almost everything. So any thoughts would be most welcome.

I do hope you find a solution, OP.

But why, when someone says they’ve got an embarrassing problem, do some people always say there’s nothing to be embarrassed about - as if you shouldn’t be? Many of us always will be when it comes to such things - I don’t see that anyone should feel apologetic about it. Pretty normal, if you ask me.

Which reminds me, a colleague once had a very trying ‘bottom’ problem, and was dreading her visit to the proctologist. Straightaway he said something like, ‘I know you’re probably embarrassed but bottoms are my business - I look at bottoms every single day of my working life, so do please just relax.’
And she did. More or less.

I have suffered the same problem for nearly 40 years. My sphincter was repaired and a hernia between bowel and urinary system also. Not by the NHS I may add. I have always had the problems mentioned and uncontrollable wind. Saw Head of Proctology this week and as sphincter still in tact he prescribed bulking aid, advised a way of using Imodium and charcoal tablets. Seems that's it as far as any treatment will go. It's ghastly having uncontrollable wind and bowel leaks - hardly makes me feel feminine and awful when the wind decides to happen when I am out. I really have explored every avenue. I wish you better luck than I have had.

Oops, forgot the prof also suggested anal squeeze and hold exercises. Started today.

You are not alone. I felt so alone until I read these posts today.

Kittypaws49 - very brave of you to share. I'm another who has had similar problems of late and it's reassuring to know I'm not the only one. Lots of great advice on here about possible solutions. I share your reticence about going to the GP but I also know it's the sensible next step for a lot of us - just need to take the first step. Hope you and others find a speedy resolution.

Yes I was left with a prolapsed bowel and bladder after baby number four at 44 - in addition have IBS & Diverticular disease - awfully embarrassing and life changing sometimes ! I have to be careful with diet but I have also had two lots (more than two sessions but across two different periods of time) physio with a specialist physio - helped quite a bit but I have had accidents and if on a long journey plot my routes very carefully and take spare clothes ! My friend has the same issue and she actually purchased a camping toilet and keeps this in her car and you can purchase specialist underwear too.

Don’t be embarrassed it’s such a common problem, pop along to your GP and go through your options, don’t suffer in silence and good luck

There is some very good advice here! I suffer from the same and although I had a bladder op years ago after three difficult deliveries damaged my bladder, the urinary problem hasn’t gone away fully and the fecal incontinence is still there. I have IBS and have to be very careful of my diet. Sorbitol as mentioned here, is a no no as are nuts, pulses, spicy foods, alcohol, some fruits (grapes are the worst) and quite a few other foods. I always wear good protection in case of accidents and pack spare clothing if out for the day. I know myself well enough to spot a bad day and simply don’t go out. I’ve talked about it with various health professionals but don’t want surgical intervention at this time in my life. Would probably wait years anyway! Some medications are helpful and my GP is understanding. I feel able to cope as I’ve had it so long and just pray that it doesn’t get worse or I can’t get on with it as well as I do now. I’m sure that there must be advice and support groups out there if it really does get you down.

I've had the same thing for over 30 years. It's so debilitating. Like others I carry an emergency kit with me all the time,don't eat before I go out and take loperamide. I had a rectal prolapse and had that operated on 8 and half years ago. The operation was a success in that the prolapse had gone but the incontinence continued. I saw specialists,had numerous tests done and still no joy. Saw a biofeedback nurse and basically it was change your diet. The beige diet,no healthy foods,all white stuff..yuk. I tried a kegel type machine that was supposed to exercise and strengthen the muscles in the anus but that actually made my problem worse. I've learned to live with it and manage day to day. Sorry that you're having to deal with this but do see someone about it. You may have success. Good luck

I sympathise with you so much! I had third degree tears after second and third babies. To be honest I was glad it happened again after the third as I knew it hadn’t been repaired properly after the second, in spite of the fact that I was told I’d had the ‘top dog’ surgeon to do the stitching! I had various leaking problems after the first time, but not so much after it was repaired the second time. It was only many years later after a scan, that I was told that my anal sphincter muscle is functioning on less than three quarters how it is supposed to. It basically means that I have less capacity to ‘clench’ than I should, which has left me embarrassed and stressed many times. I have even thought at times over the years that a colostomy might actually be a better option, and also tried a sacral nerve stimulator for a while, but it didn’t work. I still have to watch what I eat, although I used to be much worse, and realised that a lot of my tummy problems stemmed from a stressful situation with a sibling, that I have since removed myself from, and my issues have eased considerably since. It’s a horrible situation because the worry of having an accident leads to making it worse, but I feel I am much more in control now than I used to be and can even dare to wear light coloured trousers again. I still have the odd completely out of the blue ‘leak’ though and use liners etc. just in case, if I’m in a very public situation and have learned how to be as prepared as possible…I’m a big fan of a nice roomy shopper bag, as I’ve even been known to bring spare trousers with me along with wipes, spare underwear 😖
I think if you don’t feel your repair was done properly years ago, you could possibly have it looked at again…I’m sure there might be more up to date treatments or fixes now, although I remember being told that there is no replacement for that sphincter muscle.
To think I was told at my six week checkup after repair number two, that if I had any more babies, they’d have to be delivered by section…bit late for that piece of advice 😖 Considering I was only around seven stone when I got pregnant, and had a fair idea each time that babies were going to be well over 8lbs, you’d think they would have given the option of sections beforehand.
Please give your GP a try to see if anything can be done to help you, as it could change your life!
Seems to me some women suffer a terrible and lifelong price as part of bringing children into the world 😕

Good advice DO seek a good gp things have moved on and if no joy speak to another pls
My daughter in law had physio after tear back to front recently and I had many stitches in emergency episiotomy high forceps situation which responded to the exercises and after a prolapse vagina too
Also age does affect muscles as you rightly say. Louise Newson 'Balance'. Please consider hrt ostregen which is the root cause I began it in sixties. Lots of gd luck.

I agree about seeing a dr but I have a problem leaking Irvine when I have a bad cough. Period pants are the way forward - fabric not paper and even M & S have them now! They help deal with small leaks if you are out!

Try a referral to a pelvic physiotherapist. You may be able to refer yourself (some GPs surgeries provide physio) - it not, your GP can do this

I have had the same problem after the birth of my son 53 years ago damaged me. I have had various solutions over the years and have learned to live with it and be very open and unembarrassed about it. You need to see your doctor as there are many tests to work out the current cause of the problem and there is a lot of help once you have been assessed. Please don't just live with it, modern medicine can help.

I really feel for you Kittypaws. Similar embarrassment occurs when women have very heavy periods. I remember wearing dark coloured trousers and always having a supply of tampons and pads with me at that time of the month. Accidents could still happen! It's only more recently, perhaps in the last five year or so, that people have felt able to speak more openly about these difficult problems. Thirty years ago only my closest friends knew I had a problem. It was more difficult then to 'share' more widely. Doctors were not particularly understanding either. I am so glad that people are raising these issues much more now than in the past. I do hope you get the help you need.

Well ladies what a life we all lead and have to tolerate - thanks so much for being so open and sharing, it’s always so nice to realise one isn’t alone

My father was a G.P, and I can assure you that all doctors and nurses can discuss this kind of problem, or any other, without embarrassment, while they realise that patients usually are embarrassed by anything concerning the genitals, urinary or bowel functions, and they are trained to help you past initial embarrassment.

Who told you surgery often is unsucessful? I would doubt the truth of this statement these days.

Exercises to strenghten your pelvic floor of the kind you doubtless did after giving birth might well help too, but you do need professional advice about what is the best solution for you.

No-one just "has to put up with" either urinary or faecal incontinence, so please do make an appointment with your G.P. or the practice nurse soon.

My late husband had some problems with leaking - his doctor recommended taking a couple of loperamide (anti diahorreah medicine) an hour before going out. They are safe enough to take regularly, he even got them on prescription! Of course, seeing your doctor, preferably a female one for less embarrassment, would be best but loperamide may help whilst waiting for treatment.

CeliaT52

It’s great -well not really - to know that others suffer from this problem. I just need to get up the courage to see my GP soon! Thanks for all the helpful advice!
Ps this is my first post!

*Celia, (and anyone else in the same situation) if you would like to read my own story from start to finish, PM me with your email address, if considering surgery at all, don't go near a Colo-rectal surgeon, they don't have the right experience!

grandtanteJE65

My father was a G.P, and I can assure you that all doctors and nurses can discuss this kind of problem, or any other, without embarrassment, while they realise that patients usually are embarrassed by anything concerning the genitals, urinary or bowel functions, and they are trained to help you past initial embarrassment.

Who told you surgery often is unsucessful? I would doubt the truth of this statement these days.

Exercises to strenghten your pelvic floor of the kind you doubtless did after giving birth might well help too, but you do need professional advice about what is the best solution for you.

No-one just "has to put up with" either urinary or faecal incontinence, so please do make an appointment with your G.P. or the practice nurse soon.

Having had 9 failed repairs, including having to have a stoma bag, I would say that it is often unsuccessful! You definitely need the right surgeon, not Col-rectal ....