Black Dog 18

I'm so sorry I haven't been able to keep in touch and answer people. Look forward to catching up at weekend. Am in bed all afternoon trying to get energy together for dinner tonight. I think we will both stay in bed all day Saturday.🙂😴
Thinking of you all.

Whiff Thankyou for your info
about Psoriasis. How awful for your SIL to suffer like that. I'm fortunate though that I don't have it. It was a guess on GP's part without seeing me.
Rash appears to be subsiding now with Sudacrem. You have been at the end of some terribly hurtful words by your DIL and it must be confusing and bewildering to understand when you have done nothing wrong. Thank goodness you have such a lovely daughter and family who love you and see what a caring mum you are.
HVDY It's taken a long time for your DH to get the attention he needs, so good that something is being done now. I do hope his wait wont be too long. If only they'd listened earlier. Oh you missed your pudding at Day Centre--Hope it wasn't something you really like.
You must be so frustrated about the hoops your SIL is having to go through to get the right treatment. She's been through so much.
Scaredycat I give myself 'talkings to' as well. We cant help resenting not being able to do what we could but some acceptance is necessary for us to find contentment. I so hope your next place is nice too. I could sense your sadness at leaving your 'special' place and having to move on. Hope that last walk, before packing, held some beautiful memories and you will get to go back there in future.

Hope everyone has been ok today. Back latet.

Nadateturbe No need at all for apologies--you have family here and you are doing the right thing to conserve energy. Have a lovely dinner out with son n fam. 🙂

Hi all
Good news for us today. DH has seen his cardiologist who is pleased with his heart results and has no plans to operate and he needs no further treatment. We are both mightily relieved as the operation isn’t without risk or guarantee of success.
Whiff any skin disorder is difficult to deal with and can be very painful and/or embarrassing. Hope your son in law is ok.
I am so sorry about your estrangement from your son. Must be one of the hardest things to cope with after the death of a loved one. It’s good to hear you have such a good relationship with your daughter and son in law. He sounds a nice chap too.
You haven’t taken over at all. You are doing something lovely which is to reach out and give help and support to someone also struggling with estrangement. You aren’t monopolising this thread at all. No reason for you not to mention estrangement. Estrangement is a form of suffering too and I’m sure can cause mental stress. You are always welcome to talk about it here. You take care of yourself too,
Scaredycat so pleased you have had such a good time. It sounds a lovely place. Which coast is it on. Hope you enjoy your next stop just as much.
No we haven’t been for a walk. Somehow it’s been a busy week. We’ve been at the hospital from 9 til 2 today and were so tired when we got home. Maybe over the weekend. We do miss our walks. Enjoy your walk by the sea.
HVDY I love spag Bol too. Hope you had a good time at the day centre. Pleased your DH is being referred on but as you say, it could all have been done ages ago. Hope you don’t have to wait too long for an appointment.
nadateturbe don’t worry. Save your energy for chatting to your son. We will be here whenever you feel able to post. Don’t worry about us.
Sweetpeasue pleased to hear the sudocream is helping. Well done ^HVDY* for suggesting it. Hope you too have had an ok day and slept well last night.
Wyllow as always , thinking of you x

nadateturbe Enjoy your meal with your son and family. You're right to save your energy. Come back, when you're ready, and tell us what the meal was.

SweetpeaSue Glad the Sudocrem seems to be working. It's lovely stuff. I always keep a tub of it because it's good for so many things. I missed chocolate pudding and custard, so treated myself to a bag of assorted toffees (not really as good but I fancied them).

Doodle That's great news about your husband. That must be a weight off your mind. You and your husband had a long time at the hospital. You must be shattered.

Wyllow Hope you're doing better.

SIL apparently being moved to this other hospital in an hour or so. I might visit at the weekend. Hope ALL BDers have a restful night's sleep. x

HVDY The lesions had become raw and I believe using the steroid cream (that Id been encouraged to use by 2 different GPs) was making it worse. Started off with steroid by a nurse practitioner. Anyway they are healing over with Sudacrem but hope I'll not be left with scarring. Hope your SIL will be ok in hospital. They arent the best places for people with Dementia so I'm sure you must be concerned. Nice of you to visit her, I'm sure she must appreciate a familiar face. How have your legs been?
* Doodle* Thats such great news about your DH today. I'm so pleased for you both. You should both sleep easier tonight. You must be so tired. Can be v tiring waiting about in hospitals. They do their best but waiting feels endless. Thankyou not a bad day at all. Made it to MH appt with help of painkillers then afternoon knitting while DH had GP phone back with me trying to make sign language and mouthing ' ask about side effects'. Hes being put on Statins because of highish bad cholesterol amongst other stuff they calculate. Not sure if Statins are good or bad so if others here have experience of them would like to know.

Wyllow Glad to see your post. You are communicating by letting us know you're there. Willing you to keep going till you feel better. Warm hugs.

Wishing all a peaceful night.

Sleep

Sorry - meant to be sleep well.

Hi all. Monday will be 6 months since I lost my husband 😢 my life is hell. I miss him so much. I still feel he is here. One of the dogs coughed and I thought it was him. My Dgd heard my DS in the hall and thought it was her GD. She's 2.5 years old. I coukd have cried. In fact I still cry every day. I just want to be near him again

Sorry to be so negative

Nanny2507 I've no personal experience of losing a loved husband but even imagining it is horrific. I'm so sorry you are suffering and hurting so much. I don't know if you are still required to turn up for employed work. I seem to remember you were trying to carry on. It must be very hard and I hope you are getting some support from your friends at work. I expect you keep things to yourself and must feel so lonely. You must have read about Whiff and her ongoing grief at losing her DH. People who understand by experience may be able to comfort you and relate to your feelings so you will not feel so alone. I think that would ne very helpful to you. I hope you will feel free to post here whenever you need support. I wish I had some words to comfort and heal. Know that I care and will pray for you tonight. I expect that won't mean much-but I wish you well and hope you will have a resful sleep tonight. Warm hug. X

goodnight and warm thoughts x

Evening all
I’m so angry. I’ve just composed a long post and lost it 😡 thought I’d been quite clever too as my battery was dying so I copied and pasted it to my notes but I’ve lost that too 😡. Will post tomorrow. Thinking of you all and sending ❤️. Night all xx

A couple of you have posted about losing posts. If I am writing a long post I do mine as a draft email. It saves automatically. You can copy and paste it to GN. It has the advantage of I can do a little at a time. important to someone with low energy or needing to pause for any reason.

SweetpeaSue I was put on statins after my stroke (along with other tablets for different things). I stopped the statins about a year ago, as my cholesterol has been about 2.5 - 3.5. Doctors are always trying to push statins, but it's wise to read up on the side-effects and then weigh up those against the benefits of taking them. My husband takes one and feels fine. His cholesterol was 6.5 My legs always have the burning sensation, from tops of feet to the knees, but I'm seeing the Neurologist on 19th (unless it gets cancelled), so I might get some help then.

Nanny2507 So sorry. The death of a loved spouse must be awful. I haven't got experience of being widowed, but I've heard people say that the 1st year (all the 1st birthdays, etc) is the hardest to bear. Have you tried Cruse or anything? It would probably help to talk with people who have gone through such grief. Are you able to talk to your family? Please keep posting on here, though, as we all care.

Hi how I'm not a sharer. I post on here as its anonymous

Nanny2507 Fair enough. Sharing such emotions isn't for everyone. What are you up to today? Do you see much of friends or family?

how I dont have any friends and family are 200 miles away xx

HVDY I'm sure 19th for Neurologist appt can't come soon enough and yes, you must be concerned it might be cancelled. My DHs cholesterol level was 4. 8 but I think other factors were also taken into account. I wish I'd heard everything said. I like an input into everything now and its not possible when DH has a telephone appt.
Nanny2507 It is hard for you with no family nearby or friends. We all need someone to talk to especially yourself having lost your dear husband. I hope your animals are still around. It must be hard to keep looking after them all, though also give you a reason to keep going. I'm sure they return that care with affection. Do you still have your cats and Binks? Thinking of you Nanny.

Hoping everyone has had a decent day. Ive had a lovely phone call from son1. It makes me feel better and cheers me up to hear from him. Son2 back to work yesterday.

Good evening everyone. I've been catching up on everyone's posts for the past week. I've missed so much. I'll keep reading and post soon. Today I've done very little, bathed and spent most of the day on the bed, exhausted and like others, feeling sad that son has left. But so lovely to see them isn't it, nothing like a big hug from your children.
Sending love to all.xx

Nadateturbe It's always sad when they leave, I agree, but does so much good to see them. I love a hug from my sons-always seems so wonderful and at the same time amazing that the children we brought into the world are these huge strapping men. I only come up to their shoulders(5ft 3).

Sweetpeasue I'm glad you had a nice phone call with your son today .It does really do so much good to chat to them.
I'm sure if my children lived close, I would feel more positive, just having them pop in. It makes a house feel more like a home.. But I suppose we have to be thankful they're happy and doing well.
And yes, you feel so tiny reaching up to hug them.. I'm 5'1

Evening all. Went for a walk today for the first time in ages. So nice but we were tired when we got back.
HVDY ooh chocolate pudding and custard. You missed a treat. I love that.
Thank you, yes we are mightily relieved DH doesn’t have to have that op. We spent most of yesterday in the hospital cafeteria. We had breakfast lunch and a coffee break there. The people behind the counter probably wondered if we’d got sleeping bags to stay the night.
I Hope thé new hospital make your SIL comfortable. Is it a long way for you to go and visit?
Lots of people have a problem with statins making their limbs ache. DH takes one but not one of the normal ones. His cholesterol has always been very low.
Be interesting to see what the neurologist says about your burning sensation in your legs. DH is having trouble with his peripheral neuropathy which makes his legs painful and irritating. Hope you get some answers.
Sweetpeasue people often think steroid cream is the answer but it’s not always the case. I had a rash on my face and was prescribed hydrocortisone cream. Turns out it was the worst thing to prescribe and made it a lot worse. I did loads of research on the internet until I found a picture of someone with a similar rash and it turned out to be an allergy to fluoride in toothpaste. A dose of antibiotics and it cleared up for good, it’s good to know the sudocream is helping you.
Pleased you had a better day. I too mouth questions to DH when he’s on the phone or write down things I want him to ask. Hope your DH copes with the statins ok. Many, many people take them without a problem.
Glad you had a nice chat with your son. Very nice post to nanny
nadateturbe good idea about the posts. I’ve lost one or two because I thought I pressed post but must have pressed preview instead. Glad you had a lovely visit with your son.
Yes when they leave it is sad especially if you don’t get to see them often.
nanny I pray for you often. I’m so sorry you are sad but understand why. Like Sweetpeasue said, it would be good if you could talk to others who have experienced the same loss. As much as I can imagine how hard it is I don’t know.
I would think that many would tell you it’s early days. 6 months is a long time but grief continues I think. So many things will remind you of your loss.
Do you not have any people at work that you are friendly with? I know some people have loads of friends and other like me and probably you, my DH is my best friend. I don’t have many friends. How is your son coping? Life must be so difficult for you both. Wish I could say something that helps but I can’t. I don’t know if you are religious or not but is there anyone at your local church who could help, they sometimes have bereavement help? xx
Ellie Anne thinking of you again as the weekend comes round. Hope the weather is good enough for you to get out a bit.
Scaredycat I imagine you are settled at your next stop now. Hope it’s nice and you’re enjoying yourselves.
Wyllow thank you for continuing to post. Take care x

Doodle You both did well to have a walk even though you were tired afterwards. It was so massively windy here so we didn't even try but it still seems a lame excuse. Motivation can be main problem I find. Must have felt awful having the rash so visible. This is where the internet can def help when GPs haven't the time to deal with patients personal problems.
I'm concerned about DH going on statins. Not because of the neg anecdotal experiences but because he still has some aches n pains because of what could be Polymyalgia though much better since taken Prednisolone. He needs reg blood tests to measure inflammation, which decides when to reduce dosage. How would they tell if any side effects of leg pains from statins are actually pain from Polymyalgia? Have asked DH to delay taking his steroids until he speaks to GP after his next blood test for inflammation.
Wyllow I hope you are staying in touch with your sister. She will care and be concerned for you. I say this because we care and I'm sure she does too. Take care of yourself the best way you know how. Wishing you a restful sleep. X

Thank you BD's xx and warm waves back.

SweetpeaSue Cholesterol of 4.8 isn't high. Prednisolone can cause cholesterol, BP and blood sugars to be raised. Like you, I tell DH what to say or ask. Men aren't like us, are they?
Nice that your son rang. My Son2 rang me last night.

Nanny2507 Do you go to church at all? (I don't but I know it's a comfort many to have faith). Do you see your neighbours much?

Doodle The hospital is about 10 minutes' drive from me (a bit further for brother to visit his wife). The burning sensation is caused by the type of Vasculitis I've got. I hope your husband's leg problem settles down soon. Like me, you Google things, then. I don't think doctors like us to do that, but it's often the only way to find out and get treatment.

Hope ALL Bders manage to have a decent day. x