Black Dog 18

I haven’t spoken to my son but have messaged a few times because gs has been unwell.
He won’t know how sad I am and I won’t tell him.
Got an empty day tomorrow so I’ll probably walk.
I’ve ordered a jacket from qvc so hoping it will fit as the postage is quite expensive.
Hoping I can sleep tonight as the last few nights have been awful. A friend suggested nytol but I’m not sure.

Evening all, busy day for me catching up on admin/home stuff and have just read and caught up. Exhausted now so can’t respond individually but just to say that Sweetpeasue I’m glad that your pain has eased. Must be so disappointing for you when it seems yo come back for no apparent reason. I hope the damn thing stays away 🙏. Wyllow thinking of you ❤️. Not at caravan this weekend as son home. Lovely to see him❤️. Hope everyone has a peaceful night and speak properly soon xx

I think of you all too xx BD's.

Glad it's eased a bit Sweetpeasue. No need to apologise. Maybe the pain management clinic will suggest a pill regime that works.
Wyllow3 thinking of you and all others on BD.xx

Nice of you to take time to post Scaredycat. Enjog the view and have a lovely time. Sleep well.x

Thankyou all so much for caring. Think its a case of 'Its ok now. I' m getting my life back. All that was just a bad dream and it's finished' Then the severe pain comes back and I'm devastated and back at bottom looking up at the mountain to climb all over again. The bladder pain is there every day on and off but can feel like a mild to mod cystitis and heavy full bladder. But the severe stuff is incredibly painful hence oramorph and co codamol.
Doodle When I had IC flares I'd get pain as bladder started to fill but pain was relieved when emptying bladder. 'I' d sometimes have to go 8 times a night. This time feels different. Still some of 'old' IC as can get relief at times but when I have the pain, hoing to empty bladder and losing that last drop can make it much worse.
The Urologist has been influenced by my uterus pain after the cover up mistakes that led to my developing Adenomyosis. I dont get that pain now bleeding stolped and fallopian tube cysts taken away. Both of which I believe was def caused by the mistakes in that Hysteroscopy. One of causes of Iatrogenic Adenomyosis is trauma to womb.
I'm sorry, this will sound too medical. But not sure if nerves have been involved that cause bladder pain and bowel difficulties.
When the medical people cant find what's wrong the umbrella term Chronic Pelvic Pain- CPP is used. Means nothing to me.
Sorry, the Pregabalin might be an answer in future, though I'm trying to take painkiller when I get the pain so its not in my body all the time. You are right though - it's not a perfect way. I just wish I knew the cause. If secretary to PM Dr doesn't get back to me Im going to have to go private with PM Dr. It's not just the expense but more that there probably is nothing he could do with just 1 or 2 consultations.

Pain has eased a lot now. Youve all been so good I'm sorry for spilling it all out. I just know what happened to me (in that 10 min procedure that turned into an hour) caused so much and my IC was not like this bladder pain. (I cut coffee and had no wine for 2mths but made not a jot of difference).
Doodle That orange coat was meant for you. So glad you immediately 'found' it. Hope you got your gift for GD too.
Nadateturbe Such a warm, sensitive person. Thankyou for your help and caring. Hoping your weekend is better and you dont have pain too.
HVDY So pleased about son 1 moving in with GF and he'll be close to you and his girls. You have such a close family, that's lovely. You must feel so pleased. Thanks, I take Amitriptyline nightly. Still using Sudacrem, crossed fingers.
Wyllow I think of you every day and night. So hoping you are ok and being looked after/monitored well. We care. X

Wishing all BDs a peaceful night.

Hello all!
We are all settled in now but very tired. It is such a long drive but worth it. I can see the sea from our little flat - how we would love this view all the time. But I know we are lucky to be here sometimes.
I,m so sorry your pain is so bad SweetPea Sue- it’s a disgrace you have to live like this. Doodle your coat sounds lovely - it will look gorgeous with all the other Autumn colours around soon. Such happy news for you HVDY- I am so pleased for you that your Sons are happy. Nadateturbe hope you have managed to get out today. Wyllow as always thinking of you and wishing for better times for youx
I,m sorry this is short but the tiredness is getting the better of me. Will pop in again soon- just wanted to say hello.
Hope the weekend has some bright moments for all BD. Take are all.

HVDY so am I right in saying both sons are going to be living with their partners now? A lot of changes for the family. I wish everyone well in their new lives together.
Its nice getting new clothes, gives you a lift. I love having lots of nice pyjamas for cosy winter nights.
I too think you should ring the surgery. I just cant believe how poor the service is atm.

SweetpeaSue So sorry that your pain has come back, after you'd had some time feeling ok. As Doodle said, Pregabalin might help, or perhaps Amitryptiline. I hope the pain settles down so that you can sleep ok tonight.

Doodle Your coat sounds very attractive. I could do with a new coat, but instead, I've bought 2 pairs of trousers (too long), a blouse and some fleecy pyjamas.

More happy news in our family - Son1 is going to move in with his GF and her son (12). She asked him a couple of weeks ago, so that's what's going to happen. They've been seeing each other for almost a year. He's now given notice to his landlord (GF owns her house). He'll be moving about a mile from where he is, so still near his girls.

EllieAnne How are things with your son now?

Nadateturbe , Candy, Wyllow, ScaredyCat and ALL BDers - hope you've all been ok today.

Hope all BDers have a restful night. x

Good evening Doodle your post was helpful to Sweetpeasue. I think I was just so angry and feeling so sorry for her that I wasnt much help. But I do think its not good enough to be sent to pain management without being given a cause.
Your coat sounds nice. Isnt it lovely when you put something on and it just feels right. And Im sure it feels very cheerful.
I get what youre saying about the diet, its hard to lose if youre not very active. Its a very common problem with M.E. I limit carbs and just eat smaller portions. Im not sure what else you can do. Yes, I remember the mash ads. 🙂.
Hope you have an easy day tomorrow. Shopping is tiring as you get older. And takes longer to walk round shops I think.
Apologies for no punctuation, my predictive text isnt working.

Sweetpeasue I know you have told us of your pain before but tonight you mentioned pain when emptying bladder (you may well have mentioned it before but it wasn’t necessarily something I picked up on)
I’ve just been looking at the NHS website about it and can see how you cam up with intestinal cystitis. Until you mentioned it, it’s something I have never heard of. Just reading about it, it sounds awful and I can understand why it brings you down so much. I know you take pain killers for it and have in the past had oromorph but I was wondering if you have tried other drugs. The reason I ask is that one of the drugs mentioned on the NHS website is pregabalin which is what my DH takes for the pains in his legs. I wondered if you have ever tried this?
Would it be worth asking the GP. It’s a drug you take every day and adjust the dose so that it overrides the pain. So rather than wait for the pain to come you take the drug at regular times and try and overcome the pain.
Sorry you probably know all this and have done far more research than my few minutes on the internet. Not meaning to interfere just know that pregabalin has helped DH and wonder if it could help you too. x

Evening all.
Sweetpeasue sorry, having had a period of being better that it came back again. Firstly, remember it felt better for a bit so that’s good news. I find it unbelievable that you have this pain when you empty bladder and no one seems to do anything about it. No you don’t sound stupid, don’t say that. Being in pain is something we all are afraid of. I Hope you hear back from the pain management people soon.
Glad you had a good time out with your DH and I’m hoping the pain wears off and you have a better few days again.
Glad your DH is feeling a bit better. Hope it’s the steroids kicking in. Thanks, I will try the Devils food cake.
I bought a new winter coat today. Went in for a blue or black long waterproof coat and came out with an orange mid length one. One look at it and I thought, that’s mine. 😊
nadateturbe I am just not losing weight. I have tried to cut down carbs and not had any potatoes, bread, rice or pasta for a week just chicken and veg in the evening. I’ve lost nothing.
Trouble is I don’t do much so I obviously eat more than I need for my daily requirements.
Scaredycat I hope you have a lovely trip and have arrived safely. I love thé coast and the sea so much. I’m sure you’ll have a good time. Do take some photos.
Good you’ve got your DHs ultrasound booked. Try not to worry while you are away.
HVDY how lovely to have your son and the new baby moving close to you. I’m sure you’ll be in demand for babysitting. It’s nice to be close to little ones when they’re young as they change so much so quickly, Your son must be over the moon to be a dad.
Your surgery are very remiss. Could you try phoning them Monday.
I have actually got that Michael Mosley book. I think I’ll get it out and have a read. I used to use instant mash all the time when the boys were young. So quick and easy. Haven’t bought any for about 20 years I don’t think. I used to love the adverts though. Do you remember the little alien metal people.
Wyllow hoping and praying your life improves and your spirits lift xx
Ellie Anne hope this weekend isn’t a bad one for you. Have you spoken to your son since the upset? Hope things are ok now.
I’m exhausted. Not used to going out shopping and we were out most of the day. Glad it’s the weekend, although being retired it doesn’t make much difference really but I still think of it as time to relax 🤣

Nadateturbe Im even sorrier now! I really had no intention of scaring you at all. I'm just mentally and physically exhausted when I get the pain back but the painkillers do kick in and help take a lot away. It just takes time and I am having to realise that this is all going to stay which makes me so scared as there's no name to my condition. I'm so sorry. I have been sent to A&E by GPs a couple of times last yr but nothing is found and its a terrible place to wait. You are v kind. Thankyou for being concerned my friend. X

Sweetpeasue I'm so sorry. If its unbearable go to A&E. or ring out of hours doctor.
Otherwise I would try to get a scan ASAP, and I think you should contact your MP if you think you're not being treated properly. I wish I lived close, I would try to help. Can your family maybe complain for you. It really is wrong for you to be left like this. ❤

Sorry but I desperately need a moan. The serious pain, bladder pain, has come on over last couple of hrs and built up so taken extra meds. I don't understand. Why can't they find a reason? DH thinks must ne nerve damage of some kind but I dont know. It can get worse when I empty bladder, goes right to the spot. Haven't infection. Just comes for no reason. No urine frequency or anything like that.
Ive had good week regarding bladder pain now the strong stuff restarting. I afraid of having a life like this. I hate having an almost constant ache in bladder on n off throughout dys but this severe stuff scares me-because it's like Ive been given up on and I'm on my own. And how could they do this to me. I'm scared and I know I sound stupid. Just laid with hotwater bottle and feel doped up. Sorry - just dont want to feel this alone. Thankyou. X

Scaredycat Hope you got away ok and have a lovely holiday.
HVDY It's so bad that we have to keep persisting to be heard at the surgeries. We end up feeling as if we're a nuisance. I managed to leave a message this morning with the Dr's sec in Pain management that I'm meant to be under( always got mess that her box was full and couldnt leave mess at all before). Not holding my breath though. Hope your day is ok.
Nadateturbe Hope you can manage to get out soon. I know the situation you describe when we are stuck in for a while. You have so much to cope with. Its not surprising you can get 'cabin crazy'. The Physio did say waiting list was about 16 weeks for Musculoskeletal clinic so at least given some time scale. Said I should be hearing in about another 4 weeks.
If musculoskeletal cant send me for MRI I will go private.

Hope everyone having a decent day. Had pain first thing but alls well now and in coffee shop with DH. Toasted tea-cakes (and butter was soft!) and choc caramel brownie. Seventh heaven. Simple pleasures. X

Sweetpeasue your surgery seems very incompetent indeed. Doesn't inspire confidence. I hope you find something that helps and I hope your husband continues to feel a bit better.
Hoping everyone has a good day.x

Candy Glad you're pleased with your nails. It must it make a difference if out of such a busy day you can do something that's just for you and makes you feel better. My DH has worked a short time around asbestos when at work-so much wasn't known about it then. Oh the surgery the Physio was at was a completely different surgery to ours and not part of it in any way. Might you be at your caravan this weekend? It must be so good to get away.
Doodle I'm glad your DHs leg is getting better. My aunt knocked hers a while ago and it took quite a while to heal and ever so many different dressing changes. Have you tried Betty Crocker's Devil's Food Cake? I used to make it when we visited son1 as they loved it. Good luck with your shopping at John Lewis. Wish we had one around here not too far away. DH seems a bit better today so crossing fingers all may still be ok with steroids and hoping it is actually Polymyalgia. Think he'd feel better amyway on steroids though even if not Polymyalgia? That physio said she didn't know why the GP sent me to that wrong surgery as she doesnt even work there. The GP was in a rush the day she made that mistake and prescribed me more of the dame steroid cream that Id used the previous 2 weeks. That was after a different steroid cream a nurse practitioner
had me use for 2 weeks before. Lesions are bright red and sore so stopped using it.
Wyllow I hope you're ok. I feel so helpless, though praying for you to feel better. I hope your tummy hasn't been too bad aswell and your back is behaving. Its good to see your posts however brief. Sending another hug. X

Wishing all and those not mentioned a peaceful untroubled night. X

SweetpeaSue Thanks. Yes, when they move into Son2's house in the new year, they'll be 2 miles from us . I'll be on hand for baby-sitting, dog and cat sitting (1 elderly dog, 2 cats). Nobody from the surgery contacted us. They simply don't give a toss (because it's not life-threatening). DH first went to the GP in January. The Physio you saw wasn't very helpful! Hope you get on ok with the Sudocrem. It's very good stuff, and I absolutely love the smell.

nadateturbe Thanks. Ooh, I never used instant mash. I've never cooked a Christmas dinner, though (43 years married) as DH has always enjoyed doing ok, and who am I to argue . I think when you don't feel well and you're both indoors a lot, it's easy to get irritable with each other. DH and I get like that, sometimes. Hope you manage to get out soon.

Doodle Celery and apple isn't lunch! Don't go mad with dieting. The Dr Michael Mosely's Fast 800 is a good diet - little or no carbs, but plenty of protein and fats. I did it before Covid, and lost 2st in about 3 months (I've gained it since ) and really ought to try it again.

Hope ALL BDers have a restful night tonight x

Doodle- I think you are right about the Internet- I spend ages “flitting” tht sometimes a book requires more concentration than I can muster .
Yes I do contribute every month to the Photography Group. We have 3 different subjects every month and send 12 photos in. This month one of our subjects is Spooky!!
Had lunch at DDs today- I took goodies from the bakery. So lovely to have a hug again.
Enjoy your John Lewis trip - hope you find a nice warm coat.
Thank you for kind holiday thoughts.
Candy- your nails sound pretty- some of the young manicurists are so talented aren’t they. I used to have a young girl come to the house before Covid but she had to give it up because of Lockdown. I did enjoy having nice nails for the first time in my life.
Yes it does feel so nice not to have that horrible going on Holiday tummy churning . Hope you get to the caravan this weekend and see some sun.
HVDY- storm missed us too- thank goodness.
That Day Centre dinner sounded perfect- I love roast Turkey.
SweetPeaSue- yes we are looking forward to our break. Walking by the sea and watching from our window at harbour life going on.
What a ridiculous assumption about the arthritis. You couldn’t make it up.
You have spurred me on to do a bit of baking when we get back- your muffins sound lovely.
Nadateturbe- I would think there would be a photography group at your U3A- that would be something different for you.
Yes we are pleased the ultrasound is as soon as we get back. I,m trying not to worry too much- DH is very laid back though.
I,m sure once you both feel better you,ll be fine- it’s not easy when you both feel poorly. We were the same when we both had Covid.

I have to stop now as we are getting up early and there is still quite a bit to do. Love to all those I,ve mentioned and all I haven’t! Take care lovely friends and sleep well.
Wyllow - sending another hugxxx

Night night dear BD's x

Doodle Thanks. We must learn from this and be more patient in future.
That was a very small lunch you had. Did it give you enough energy for the afternoon?
EllieAnne I too forgot to offer condolences on losing your friend.
Sweetpeasue can't believe you got so little from the appointment. I wonder could you just pay and go ahead with the MRI. I think it's ridiculous to just assume its arthritis. I'm sure you were very disappointed to say the least.

Oh now that’s not fair HVDY I love a roast turkey dinner and strawberry gâteux too. Sigh 😮. I’ve had a stick of celery and an apple for lunch and cauliflower, broccoli and cold chicken tikka for dinner with some grapes after.
Sweetpeasue I remember sudocream from when my children were little. It was something I relied upon then I hope it helps you too.
Well I’m not impressed with your physio either. How uncaring and uninterested is she. I’m really surprised she didn’t give you any exercises to do. Have you heard for certain the MRI won’t go ahead?
It’s good you’re getting back into baking. Anything that helps you keep occupied is you trying to help yourself. The plus side with baking is you get something tasty out of it as well.
Ellie Anne I think Sweetpeasue said the right thing there. I think I may have forgotten to say sorry you’ve lost a friend. I too hope you go to the funeral. I Hope you have got over the hurt with what your son said. I’m sure he never meant to upset you.
nadateturbe having a caravan to go to is a really good thing I think. I always loved our time in ours.
I’m sure the internet has affected my concentration a lot. I’m always chopping and changing, reading a bit, playing a game, GN then a bit of TV. My mind flits all over the place. Sometimes I find it’s the same with my prayers. I get distracted and get cross with myself.
I think when you are both ill at the same time it’s easy to become grumpy with each other. When one is ill and the other well then the well ones looks after the other. Not so easy when neither of you feel up to much. Hope you both feel better soon and get out somewhere.
Scaredycat hope you have a lovely holiday and all journey goes well.

Candy good to have someone who can empathise (allergy thingy). I don't feel so weird now. It's annoying isn't it when you can't pinpoint the cause.
I think as Doodle said when you work it's harder to find time to read a book. Something to look forward to when you retire!
Like you, we know the caravan is a luxury. It's an investment in happiness. So we just enjoy when we can.
We also choose Premier Inns when possible. I think they set a good standard.
Hope your DD is OK, and no one else gets ill.
Scaredycat I'm sure it was lovely to see your DD today.
The photography group sounds even better- no tech stuff. And you get to share all the nice photos you take. I must see if our U3A has one.
I hope you have a lovely relaxing holiday. Good that the wait for husbands ultrasound is short.
HVDY my husband was the cook too. I married at 20. When I made dinner it was usually Birds Eye frozen burgers, Smash potatoes and frozen peas. One night I almost died of shock when he thumped his cutlery down on the table and said he was fed up with it.😁
Your dinner last night sounded delicious. Your son missed a treat.
Dr very slow indeed. Maybe as Doodle says contact them.
Your little GD looks lovely.
Doodle perhaps your right about the Internet affecting our concentration. I hadn't thought of that. Homemade fruit cake is lovely and keeps well.
I must try to get the energy up to bake something. I love baking. I particularly like Welsh cheesecakes. (Buns with jam centre) Victoria sponge.
Your husbands diet sounds like mine, my husband mostly eats the same as its easier. You get used to it, but I would love an Indian.
I know it's not the same as your caravan but I like Premier Inns and you've no work to do.
HVDY I paint my toenails too. I've a fear of going to hospital and staff seeing my ugly nails.
Storm Agnes was very bad here yesterday, our garden furniture was blown over the garden. (Now in shed)
Doodle hope you enjoy lunch and find a nice coat. I wish we had a John Lewis.
Wyllow3 Sweetpeasue EllieAnne how are you? I think you had an appointment Sweetpeasue.
Hope everyone is having a peaceful night.
We haven't had a great time, ashamed to say we have been very grumpy with each other because of not feeling well, and not getting out much to see others. You all cope so well with much more. But we are getting it under control.

HVDY Thankyou for the picture of your little baby GD. She's absolutely adorable. You must be so proud and of course your son. Did anyone get back to you from the surgery after you'd given them info about that particular Bronchitis? Your poor husband has had this cough ages now and it must be so worrying for you. I absolutely believe in trying to find things out yourself when GPs seem unable or just dont have the time. Trying your suggestion of Sudacrem from today. I'm really getting concerned about it now.
Scaredycat You'll be getting excited about going away for a nice break. So pleased you're not having the anxiety. You will be able to walk by the sea! Gorgeous. Oh I remember that mistake when you went for echo cardiogram and how anxious it can make you when you have to hurtle about trying to find way around the hospital. I thought this physio lady would have accepted me 20 mins late
especially when it wasn't my fault. Saw her this morning (20 past 8 in a village 10 mins drive away- - she chose the early time for me!) and we weren't too impressed. Not given any excercises-even really gentle ones--and told the MRI that GP had requested was prob rejected because anyone over 65 is assumed to just have athritis. Enjoy your hol. 🤗
Nadateturbe Ive had problems reading books for quite a while now which I never used to. A light read that Ive come across is Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe and I'm finding it interesting read. Hope you've been ok today. Ive not done a lot of baking since sons left home but I chose to start again to help with anxious/angry/intrusive thoughts. Believe Marian Keyes wrote that she virtually 'baked her way' out of depression, though think she took ADs aswell. Saw blueberries on market stall yesterday for half price of supermarkets! What could I do? Now freezer is bulging with Blueberry Muffins. 😲
EllieAnne Do hope youre feeling better today after you feeling so bad. Sometimes there can be upsetting things that happen all at once and it can really hurt and knock our self esteem. Hope you will feel able to attend your friend's funeral if you really feel you want to go and I'm so sorry you have lost a friend.

Sorry all I will have to come back a little later.